V stared at Panam for a few more seconds, then the man broke the silence.
"V, Ms. Palmer, now that you have some more time together, I'd like to offer you another deal. You will not need to worry about Arasaka tracking you anymore, now that you are cured, you are no different from anyone else to them. However, they are still a threat to us. We got what we needed from the experiment and have the upper hand on Arasaka for now. We will be launching a cyber-attack against them in the next few hours."
Panam spoke up. "I see where this is going and thank you for everything, but I cannot drag the Aldecaldos into a corporate war. We are not soldiers."
The man shook his head. "Of course not. We have cyborg warriors here, orbital rail cannons, biomechanical vehicles that make Sebastians's Basilisk look like a toy. But Stormtech has been in the shadows for too long, we do not have the logistical network to support long term conflict. We can win a battle, but we would lose a war of attrition. However, this is still our best chance to cripple them, we have to take it."
Panam looked down as she processed everything. "What are you asking then?"
"Ms. Palmer, the Aldecaldos are some of the best smugglers I have ever seen, we've been watching you move tech around for years. You know every tunnel and shortcut from here to Night City. We want you to work for us. We can give you as many eddies as you want, we can cure almost any disease with our technology. We can give you weapons, vehicles, whatever you need."
Panam frowned. "It is tempting, but we do not want the Aldecaldos to become part of some corporation. It almost tore us apart once, with Saul and Biotechnica."
The man nodded at her. "Excuse my poor choice of words. Your slogan is 'Forever Free' after all. But we would be partners, you would retain your independence fully. Stormtech and the seven nations were allied and formidable 50 years ago. We'd like to do that again."
Panam looked at V, he shrugged. She looked back to the man. "I need to discuss it with the leadership back at camp."
The man nodded again. "Of course. I understand how things work with you nomads. But I hope you will accept. You have my number. You can follow the arrows out of the building." The man got up and left the room. Once he was out, an arrow lit up on the floor.
V shrugged, got up from the chair, and headed towards the door, Panam was right behind him. They followed the arrows out of the building. There was no sign of the man, or of anyone else on the way out of the building. It was light outside when they left, Kerry's hover plane was still on the landing pad. As they approached it, the door opened, and the ramp emerged.
Kerry's face appeared in the doorway. "How did it go? Did things work out?"
V nodded. "Yeah, I'm all better Kerry."
Kerry smiled, patted him on the back. "Glad to hear it V."
"How long has it been?"
Kerry shrugged. "Dunno, I was partyin.' You guys ready to go?"
V nodded. "Yeah, let's get out of here. You got any more pizza?"
Kerry shook his head. "Sorry V, all out. I got other stuff though if you are hungry."
Kerry led them back into the plane. The joytoys set out beers and food, and Nibbles jumped into V's lap. They sat there for a few hours, V caught Kerry up on what had happened at Stormtech, as well as what happened inside the machine at Ortega's lab three years ago.
As V finished the story, Kerry's eyes went wide. "Thats fuckin' insane man. I'm happy you are better, and you got Panam here, but I don't understand most of what you said. I am wondering about one thing though."
"What is it?" V asked Kerry.
"You said you are linked together now, that when you hold her hand, or kiss her you get that electric feeling. What are you doing sitting here with me when you should be in that bedroom? Stormtech said that would fade right? You better get to it."
"Kerry!" V yelled. "Are you fuckin' serious? Is that all you ever think about?"
Then V looked over at Panam, she was looking at him, thinking it over. She reached over, ran the back of her hand across his cheek, and those same waves of electricity flowed through him. She smiled at him and said "He's right V. We should celebrate." She took his hand, got up pulled him to the bedroom.
V heard Kerry's voice over his shoulder. "I'll get you some real water. The way she's lookin' at you you're gonna need some hydration." Kerry turned up the radio, Samurai's Black Dog started blasting in the main room.
As the door closed behind them in the bedroom, Panam undressed, stood before him. He undressed, and then stood there a second, dumbfounded, looking at her, thinking about what happened at the lake.
She spoke. "V?... You ok?"
He nodded, smiled. "'Course Panam, never better."
She smiled, took his hand, led him to the bed, and pulled him on top of her. The celebration was unlike anything V had ever experienced.
When they were done, they got dressed, headed back out into the main room. Kerry saw them, turned the music down, clicked on the TV, and handed them two real waters. "You two were in there for a while. How'd it go?"
Panam grabbed the water from Kerry, sat down, took a sip, and looked at V. "Preem" she said, smiling.
Kerry slapped V on the back. "See man, I got your back."
V took a sip of his water and laughed. "Thanks Kerry."
Just then the pilot came on the radio. "Big storm south of us. We've gotta go down the coast to get you back to camp."
Kerry shook his head. "Fuck, sorry V. I know you wanna get back."
"It's cool Kerry."
Just then a banner appeared across the bottom of the TV. 'ARASAKA ATTACKED.' They all looked at the TV. A banner was scrolling across the bottom of the screen. 'Arasaka's facilities around Night City have gone silent. This is a developing story, more info to come.'
"I guess Stormtech does not fuck around." Panam said.
"You think about that deal?" V asked her.
She shook her head at him. "I do not know. We could use the eddies, the tech, the weapons for sure. But I do not want to work for a corporation."
V nodded at her. "They said we'd be independent, but yeah I get it. Let's see what Mitch and the others have to say, we got time. Even if Arasaka still wanted to catch me, looks like they got bigger problems now."
Kerry's phone beeped and he picked it up. "Yeah, this is Kerry. What's up?" A man's voice from the phone, V couldn't make it out. "Oh hey." Kerry continued. "Yeah, he's right here actually. Yeah, he's doing real good, we're taking him back to the desert. Oh, I dunno. Let me ask him."
Kerry looked at V. "It's Victor. He wants to know if you want to stop by Night City on the way back, say hi to everyone. We are going down the coast anyways, it's not too far out of the way. We can spend the night, then get you back to camp tomorrow."
V looked at Panam. "What do you think? One more night on the town?"
She looked at him and laughed. "V? Are you asking me on a date?"
V laughed back. "Yeah... I guess so. We never did get the chance."
She leaned in, kissed him. "Of course, V. You know I can't say no to you."
V looked at Kerry, nodded, Kerry nodded back. "Ok we'll be there in a few hours. See you soon Vic."
V got up from the bar and sat on one of the huge sofas, facing the aquarium. Panam followed him, sat down up against him with her head on his shoulder. That electric feeling was still there but was fading now.
Kerry looked over at them, smiled. "You two sure are something. I'm happy for you both. We got a few hours to kill V. You wanna party?"
V looked down at Panam, she'd closed her eyes as she laid up against him, she had a huge smile on her face. "Nah, Kerry, I think I'm good here."
"Yeah, smart move V." Kerry came over and sat on another sofa. As soon as he did, Nibbles jumped into his lap. "You wanna hear about my fish?"
V laughed. "Sure Kerry. 'Course."
Kerry talked for a while about his fish and where he'd gotten them all. V nodded at Kerry; this whole conversation was actually pretty interesting. V would occasionally look down at Panam resting on him, she'd fallen asleep.
The pilot's voice on the radio. "Getting close to NC."
V looked over at Kerry. "Night fuckin' City. Never thought I'd be back. Has it changed?"
Kerry shook his head. "Nah, not really. You know how it is there, did you good to get out."
Panam woke up and walked over to the window. V followed her. The sun was glinting off the dome of the Grand Imperial Mall, he could see the roller coaster faintly too. He saw his old megabuilding, and just caught a glimpse of the Sunset Motel. The advertisements towered over the city, same as when he'd left. As they approached, he saw Arasaka tower, noticed all the lights were out.
The hoverplane flew over the city, up to North Oak, and landed at Kerry's mansion. The sounds of the city were loud as V stepped off the plane, Panam's hand in his.
Kerry spoke as they got off the plane. "Let's head inside, relax a bit before dinner." Kerry headed into the mansion, and V followed him.
Kerry's mansion was different, the walls were full of guitars, swords, guns, all kinds of crazy shit. V stopped in the middle of the room, looking around at everything.
Kerry laughed. "Nice, right?"
V laughed back. "Yeah Kerry, Shit. This is somethin'"
Kerry shrugged. "Like I said, I got more money than I know what to do with." They followed Kerry from room to room, as he told the stories about all the shit he had. After a while, Kerry headed upstairs. "I'm gonna take a shower, clean up a bit before dinner. You two look like you can use one too. Guest room is over there." Kerry nodded to the opposite side of the mansion.
Panam looked upstairs. "A shower... sounds pretty fucking good. Join me V?"
Kerry nodded at V, smiled. "Told you I had your back." Then he turned, disappeared into the master suite.
Panam took V's hand, led him towards the guest room. There was only a tiny hint of that electric feeling now. In the bathroom, Panam let her hair down, she was standing in front of the mirror. "Go ahead V. I will join you in a second."
He nodded undressed, got into the shower, and turned the water on, he couldn't remember the last time he'd taken a shower indoors like this. Some things in Night City were ok after all. He leaned up against the wall, let the warm water flow over him, stood like that for a few minutes, eyes closed.
Then, he felt Panam's arms slide along his sides, move up towards his chest and pull him close to her. She held him close like that for a few seconds then spoke. "V let's get fucking cleaned up. I cannot remember the last time I took a shower like this."
He laughed "Sure thing Panam."
Authors note – I think music enhances this next part. This isn't super intense though like the previous multimedia sections. Kerry's boat song pairs well with this, low volume in the background.
youtube dot com/watch?v=2OBeYDk6T2c
The song won't last till the end of the epilogue, that is by design.
After the shower, they got dressed, and headed out onto Kerry's patio. Kerry was out there already, smoking a cigarette, looking over the city. He looked up as V and Panam approached. "You both look a hell of a lot cleaner. Feel better?"
Panam nodded. "Yeah, thanks Kerry. I can see why V likes you."
Kerry nodded at Panam, took a drag from his cigarette. "I'm an asshole, but occasionally I can be alright." Then Kerry looked at V. "Speaking of assholes V, check this out." Kerry stood, walked over to one of the walls, and flicked a switch. A light on the ground illuminated, lit up a portrait of Kerry and Johnny, smiling.
Kerry continued. "I had it done shortly after you left. After all that shit with you and Johnny, it got me thinking. We had some differences, but he was ok. It's kinda dumb, but I like to look at it when I'm out here smoking." Kerry looked down now, smiled. "Look at me, livin' in the past. Johnny'd be pissed." Kerry looked at V and Panam now. "You want a cigarette, a drink before we go? I got a bar here. For Johnny? You know he loved his cigarettes."
V smiled at Kerry. "He was always trying to get me to smoke. I guess one is ok. For Johnny."
Kerry smiled, walked over, handed V a cigarette, lit it. He looked at Panam "I know you don't smoke, you want one?"
Panam stopped, looked down, then back up at Kerry. "Just this once, for Johnny." Kerry handed her a cigarette, lit it too.
They all took drags of their cigarettes, looked over the city. Kerry spoke "Shit, I almost forgot. You want a drink?"
V nodded. "'Course Kerry, after all that shit we went through, I could use one."
Kerry headed over to the bar. "Ok V, what's your poison?"
V took another drag from his cigarette. "I'll take a Johnny Silverhand."
Kerry nodded. "Sure thing V. I think I'll have one too." he looked over to Panam. "What about you? Drink?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I could use a drink too."
Kerry nodded at her. "Another Johnny Silverhand?"
She shook her head. "Make mine a Jackie Welles."
Kerry nodded, looked at V, then at Panam and smiled. "V, man she is fucking something. Make sure you hold on to her. Drinks are coming up."
Kerry mixed up the drinks, handed them out. "To Johnny!" Kerry said.
"To Johnny!" V and Panam repeated, and clinked their glasses together.
Then Kerry held his glass up again. "To Jackie Welles. I never met the guy, but I hear he was a fuckin' tornado."
V paused for a minute at that, then lifted his glass along with Panam. "To Jackie Welles!"
After finishing their drinks, and cigarettes, Kerry excused himself, and went into the house. He came back out with a guitar. "V, Panam, you wanna hear something I wrote? I bet you'll fucking like it."
"'Course Kerry." V said.
Kerry sat down, and started playing, V recognized the tune. "Kerry... that's the song you were playing on that boat, the day we blew it up. Only... it sounds like you finished it."
Kerry talked as he continued to play. "Yeah man, you fucking inspired me to finish it. Well, you and Panam here. I was hoping you'd like it."
Panam looked puzzled. "What do you mean Kerry?"
Kerry kept playing, as he talked. "V wouldn't stop talking about you on that boat. Just the way he looked when he mentioned you, I dunno, it woke something up in me. I had to write some fucking music to get it out. Glad you two finally got to hear it. I got more too if you want to hear it."
"Sure Kerry, thanks." Panam said, and slid over next to V, put her head on his shoulder.
Kerry nodded, kept playing and singing softly as the sun got lower and lower on the horizon.
V put his arm around Panam, tapped his hand on her shoulder to the rhythm. Occasionally she would look up at him, smile, and lean in for a kiss. Every time she did, Kerry would shoot V a smile.
Finally, about sunset, Kerry stood up. "You ready? I hope you are hungry. Mama Welles made a lotta food. River brought that fuckin' gumbo too. And we got locust pepperoni pizza and pierogis too."
Panam spoke. "That pizza does sound good."
V was thinking those pierogis were sounding pretty good too, then he processed the rest of what Kerry had said. "Mama Welles, shit, I had no idea. Thanks Kerry, for settin' this up"
Kerry nodded as he hopped in the SUV. "No problem man. Everyone wants to see you. Hop in."
Night City loomed large over them, seemed to swallow them up as they drove into Watson, to Misty's shop. Once they arrived, they got out of the car, headed inside.
"Where is everyone?" V asked.
"On the roof. Come on." Kerry headed towards the alley, got into the elevator. V and Panam followed him. As the elevator opened, V saw a table on the roof, and all eyes were on him. Vic had a huge smile on his face. Misty ran over, hugged him.
River walked over, clapped him on the back. "Hey V. Glad you're doing ok. Joss says hi too."
V looked at River. "Good to see you too River. How you been?"
River nodded, "Been doing great V. You takin' care of my gun?"
V slipped the revolver out of its holster and nodded. "'Course."
V heard footsteps, felt a hand on his back. "Hey there chico. Who's the pretty lady you're with?"
He turned around, and Judy was standing there, a half-smile on her face.
V returned the half smile. "Judy...I thought you were in Oregon?"
Judy's half smile turned into a grin. "Kerry sent a plane. Said you were in town for one night only. Had to stop by, who knows when we'll see each other again. I wanted to thank you in person, for gettin' me out of here." Judy paused, nodded towards NC. "I was never happy here. I always kinda knew it, but that time we went swimming, that's when it hit me, I had to get out. Thanks for that V, for spending time with me, listening to me. Really helped me get my head sorted out. Now, I'm happy every day."
V nodded. "'Course Judy." V looked at Night City and back to Judy. "Glad things worked out."
Judy looked at Panam. "I've heard about you. V wouldn't stop talking about you when he first met you, I could tell he was falling for you." Judy smiled, shook her head, and continued. "He kept testin' out all these cheesy lines on me, wanted to know if I thought they'd work on you."
Panam looked at V, then at Judy and laughed. "So, I have you to thank for that huh?"
Judy smiled, looked at Panam. "Looks like it worked though."
Panam laughed. "Yeah, it fucking worked."
Kerry stood between V and Panam, one arm around each of them. "Had to stall you at the house a bit. Worth it for the surprise, though right?"
V shook his head. "Shit yeah, wow Kerry. Thanks, I mean it."
Mama Welles looked at V. "Please, sit, eat, you look so hungry V! You and this pretty lady are too thin."
V shrugged, looked at Panam and sat down. They spent a while catching up with everyone. Judy was doing well, ran a BD shop with her girlfriend in Oregon. River was still helping kids get off the street, training them so they had something to do other than join Arasaka. Mama Wells and Misty were getting along, finally. Vic's shop was doing well. V and Panam told everyone about life in the Badlands, Ortega, all the all the things he'd done with the Aldecaldos.
The talked for hours, late into the night, but eventually, Judy got up from the table, "It's been nice V, but I gotta get back to Oregon. Girlfriend's missing me, you know how it is."
Kerry spoke up. "Plane's waiting for you. Thanks for coming."
Judy looked at V, smiled. "Of course." She put her hand on his shoulder as she left. "Take care of yourself V."
A while after that, River stood, walked over and clapped V on the back. "I should get back too. Joss needs help at home. Nice catching up V."
V looked up at River. "'Course. Thanks for coming River. Good seen' ya."
Mama Welles and Misty cleared the dishes,stayed a while longer, but eventually they had to leave too.
As she was leaving, Mama Welles stood between Panam and V, one hand on each shoulder. "V, Jackie'd be happy for you. You boys got into a lot of trouble, but he wanted to you be happy, always did. I wish he was here to see you now, but I know he's proud." She looked at Panam, and back to V. "I'm happy for you two, glad you found each other. You take care of each other out there in the desert."
V nodded. "Thanks, Mama Welles. And we will take care of each other, don't worry."
Mama Welles smiled at them both, then headed towards the elevator.
Misty stood, then stopped. "I guess I was right with that Tarot draw when you first left. Do you want another one?"
V looked at Panam and shook his head. "Nah, thanks Misty. I think we've had enough of that for now.
Misty nodded. "Let me know if you change your mind." Misty looked at Panam. "I knew you'd end up together. That she'd be the one the save you."
V looked at Misty, confused. "How could you know that? Those cards?"
Misty shook her head "Maybe a little. Mostly though, I saw the way you looked at each other that night in my shop. I could tell she really loved you V, and you really loved her. I could feel the spiritual energy in the room too, when she showed up. It was like you were destined to find each other, to protect each other from the world." Misty put a hand on V's shoulder and one on Panam's. "It's beautiful, what you have. I know you two will take care of each other." Misty smiled, and headed down the stairs.
Some more time passed and then Vic stood up. "You need a tune up kid? Keep all the dust of out of that insulation? I can take you down to the shop, take a quick look."
V shook his head. "Nah, thanks Vic. I'm good."
Vic smiled, nodded, and headed towards the elevator. Just before he got in, He turned back to V "It's nice V, being happy with what you've got, who you've got, isn't it?"
V looked at Panam, she smiled at him. "Yeah Vic. It sure is."
Vic laughed. "Don't be a stranger kid. If you are ever in town again, stop by. No charge for you."
V smiled. "Thanks Vic. I'll let you know."
Kerry walked over, handed V a key. "Here's a housekey. I gotta delta too. I'll leave the car; I can get a ride. Don't stay out too late."
Finally, it was just Panam and V on the rooftop. She got up, pushed her chair over next to him, sat close. They sat there a while, looking at Night City, not saying anything.
Panam's spoke finally. "Night City sure is something to look at. I could never live here though."
Looking out at the city like that, with Panam, everything hit him all at once. He thought about meetin' Jackie, smuggling in that fuckin lizard. About how Jackie died next to him in that Delamain. About when he first met Johnny, what an asshole Johnny was. Then he thought about that talk with Johnny in the oilfields; Johnny seemed so fuckin' sad nobody remembered him. Finally, he thought about Panam, the first time she smiled at him was the first time he forgot he had a death sentence. He thought about holding that gun in this hand that night on the rooftop, what he'd been so close doing but instead he called her. Tears started to burn his eyes.
"Yeah..." V got out, then stifled a sob.
Authors note – this is a dark conversation where V open up to Panam about his previous suicidal thoughts. I almost cut this, but I felt it was important to close the narrative loop the book started with. I felt I should add this disclaimer. If you want to skip it, skip to the next authors note, the story can continue without it.
Panam pulled him close to her, he put his her on her shoulder. "V come here. What is it?"
She didn't say anything for a few seconds. "V..." she started, then he cut her off.
"Panam..." He looked at her again. "There's somethin' else, somethin' I never told you. That night, when I called you from this rooftop, I was so fuckin' close to ending it myself. I had the gun in my hand, I... shit, I just didn't want anyone else to die. Figured I'd call you one last time, hear your voice, then check out. That's how half this city ends up anyways."
After he said that, she pushed him off her shoulder, her eyes went wide, and she ran her hands through her hair. She was silent for a minute, looked like she was processing what he'd said. Finally, she looked up at him, her expression grave. "V... I had no idea. If you would have done that...I do not know what it would have done to me, I would have been fucking devastated." She paused; when she looked up her eyes were glassy. "I thought you knew was there for you. That I loved you."
V looked out over the city. "I knew, and I loved you too. S' why I didn't want you riskin' your life for me. After I called you the first time, heard your voice, I couldn't do it. I knew you wanted to help, I couldn't take that chance away from you. And after this dinner seeing all the people I helped, they woulda been hurt too."
Panam sat in silence, blinking back tears.
V took a deep breath, looked at Panam and continued. "That aint all. After Alt told me I was dyin' I thought about it again, more than a few times. When I was real bad, blackin' out 3 or 4 times a week. I saw what that was doing to you. Panam, you are so fucking strong and watchin' me die was breaking you down. I heard you outside the tent, cryin' at night, when you thought I was sleepin.' It was terrible. I'd lie inside, tears in my eyes, listenin' to you."
Panam spoke finally. "V... why didn't you tell me? Shit, I should have talked to you."
He shrugged. "S' ok. I thought you were already goin' through so much, telling you would just make things harder for you. It was tough sittin' in that tent, knowin' you were cryin for me. After Ortega's though, I never thought about it again. Whatever happened, I'd be with you, 'till the end."
Panam wiped her eyes. "After the first time in the Labyrinth?"
V shook his head. "Nah, when we thought we were about to get zeroed in that warehouse. Lookin' around that room at Mitch, Dakota, and holding onto you, I finally figured out I had family. If we didn't get zeroed then and there, I wasn't gonna quit, not after everything everyone had done for me. Haven't thought about taking that way out since."
Panam ran her hands though her hair again, she didn't say anything.
V continued. "I dunno what I was thinkin'. Judys old squeeze, Evelyn offed herself. Judy called me right after, she was wrecked. Thinkin' about you like that Panam... I'm sorry. Sorry for even thinking like that."
Panam was quiet for a few seconds, and then she spoke. "You don't need to apologize. And thank you for telling me V, for trusting me with something like this. I love you." She pulled him close, he put his head on her shoulder again, ran her fingers through his hair.
Authors note – this is the end of the conversation mentioned above.
Also, more music for this next part – the Star ending theme. youtube dot com /watch?v=jEFnnpo7dPA
I think it makes this final section hit hard, but up to you.
He sat there on her shoulder, for a few minutes, then spoke. "I love you too Panam, thanks for listenin'. And what you did for me...at StormTech, I feel human again, I dunno. Better'n I felt in a long time. And now, bein' back here, I got all these feelings swirlin' around in me; its overwhelming. I keep thinkin' about how lucky I am to have someone like you. You saved my life, so many times, and made a real sacrifice for me. I just love ya' so much, I can't even find the words in my gonk brain to describe it. You just... mean the fuckin' world to me."
He looked up at her, her eyes were tearing up. "I am always here to listen to you V, never forget that. And I did what I did because I love you V, you mean the world to me too. I feel incredibly lucky to have you too, you've always been there for me, through everything. No matter what happens, we ALWAYS have each other."
He sat up, pulled in her in for a kiss, and they sat in silence for a while again looking out at NC. He broke the silence. "Panam... do you feel different? Stormtech said you'd be changed forever."
She shrugged. "Not really, no." Then she frowned "I did notice that locust pepperoni was way better than I remember it being though."
V nodded. "Yeah, I never liked them pierogis you are always goin' on about, but they hit the spot today."
They spent some more time, looking out at the city, holding hands. Eventually V spoke again. "It's strange bein' back up here, I never thought I'd be sitting on this rooftop ever again. Talking to Mama Welles got me thinkin' about Jackie. You know I love you Panam, but Jackie was my fuckin' choom. Haven't really thought about him much lately, not till we got here. Friends like that are hard to find."
Panam nodded. "I think I know what you need. Let's get out of here."
She took his hand, and they got back in the SUV. Panam was driving, they were heading up to North Oak.
He wasn't sure what she was planning. "Where we goin' Panam? Back to Kerry's already?"
"You will see V."
They stopped in North Oak, V recognized the place. The Columbarium. They parked and got out of the car. Panam took his hand, led him through the building, to one of the graves. Jackie's grave. V looked down, read the text. 'Good night sweet prince.' V felt tears in his eyes again.
Panam squeezed his hand. "It's ok V. Take all the time you need. I will be right here next to you."
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, blinking back tears, reading that text over, and over thinking about Jackie. Panam's grip on his hand never loosened.
Finally, he looked over at her. "Thanks, Panam. I needed this; it feels good... to say goodbye. Never got the chance when we first left NC."
She gave him a half smile. "I know V. You ok? Or you need more time?"
He shook his head. "Nah, I'm good." He started heading out of the building, then stopped. "Actually, Panam, there is somethin' else."
"Lead the way, V."
He grabbed Panam's hand and headed to the back of the Columbarium, looked through all the old graves. Finally, he found it. Robert John Linder.
Panam read the name then looked up at him. "V, who is that?"
"That's Johnny, that was his real name." V read the epitaph on the grave. 'Robert John Linder: Son of a bitch who never gave up. A legend among legends'.
V put his hand on the grave. "Thanks Johnny. You were a son a of a bitch for sure, but thanks." He stood there awhile longer, then turned to Panam again. "I'm good. Thanks again Panam. You knew just what I needed. I love you."
She smiled back. "Love you too V. You want to stay awhile or you ready to go?"
V looked around, he wasn't sure what time it was, but it was late. "Let's delta. Back to Kerry's? It's late."
She shook her head. "The city is making me claustrophobic. Let's get out of town."
V nodded. "Sunset?"
"You will see V." she said as they got back in the SUV, and headed out of NC, into the badlands. Once they got out of the city, no other cars were on the road. V saw the Sunset come and go, Panam didn't slow down as they passed it.
"Panam, where we goin'?"
"Almost there V. It is a surprise."
V was looking at the desert, trying to figure out where they were headed. He was looking at the starlight reflect off the windmills, he'd always loved the badlands at night.
Panam turned to him, her voice was sincere. "V, after everything, I do not know your real name. Do you mind telling me what it is?"
"'Course Panam. It's..." He stopped, thought about it. His memory was fine, he could remember everything else that had happened to him. But he could not think of what the V stood for.
"Panam... I... I don't know, I can't remember."
She looked concerned. "V... Are you ok?"
V nodded at Panam. "Yeah, I can remember everything else, no problem, crystal clear. But I can't tell ya' what the V stands for." He paused, thought it over, then continued. "It doesn't matter, whoever that was is gone. I'm different now Panam. I feel better than I ever have, my whole life. I'm happy, and I got you, I think that's all that really matters."
She nodded, then reached over and put her hand on his arm. "You are right V, it does not matter what I call you, all that matters is we have each other." She paused, then continued "But V?"
He wasn't sure where she was going with this. "Yeah Panam?"
She gave him a little tap with her fist. "Never stop with that sweet talking, I love it."
"Don't worry, there's plenty more."
They rode through the desert a while longer, and then she turned off the road, pulled up to a beat-up looking building in the badlands. "Panam... where you takin' us?..." he started, then recognized the building. The Independent California Motel. "Panam... wow. It's perfect."
She smiled at him as she got out of the car. "The city is too loud V; I needed some space. I figured this place would be quiet."
She walked over and sat on the steps of the building. He got out of the car, walked over, sat next to her. She reached down, grabbed his arm, and put it around her. V looked at Panam smiling, and she turned to him, also smiling. They sat there looking in each other's eyes for a few seconds, not speaking, then turned to look at the sky together. The stars were bright tonight.
Authors note: This is a long personal note, so if you only make it this far thanks for reading. If you are wondering about a sequel check the last paragraphs of the note. If you left comments, thanks even more. I tried to keep people guessing what would happen, and I liked seeing people's reactions to the way I ended some chapters. Echo on ao3, and thesceneofthecrime on , whoever you are, thanks for the feedback on almost every chapter, I looked forward to reading your comments.
Cyberpunk 2077 resonated with me on a level I didn't think was possible from a game. I've always loved the cyberpunk genre and played games like Deus Ex, seen Bladerunner a bunch of times, read Neuromancer. They are good, but not that different. It's always a brutal world, everyone is out for themselves. I went into 2077 expecting that, and that is how the game was for a time, it was a fun, GTA style game with cyberpunk. At Jackie's funeral, I got the first inkling that maybe this game would be something different, cyberpunk doesn't usually have that kind of emotion.
Up until the Hellman sequence, I thought V was going to be cured, and the game would be more GTA style fun until the end. After that though, I really got in V's head, tried to understand what it would be like to told you are dying and not have anyone really care, or even anyone to talk to about it. After that, I did the Panam questline alongside Takemuras,' alternating them.
It worked out that I did the parade sequence with Takemura and had the conversation with Johnny about death and what it means to die right before the Queen of the Highway quest. I was sitting there in my chair, floored. I didn't expect that from a game at all. I was still processing all of that when I got a text from Mitch, and a call from Panam to come check out the tank. Tank sex is cool, but what really got me with the whole sequence was Panam's reaction when V opens up to her and tells her about Johnny and relic, and that he's dying. She doesn't flip out, tell V to leave, or anything like that. She calms V down, and says she'll figure something out. The voice actors/animations in this sequence were incredible too, you could tell V is really scared at this point, and if you pick the right dialogue options, you can that tell Panam REALLY loves V by her tone and expressions. It was the most powerful moment in the whole game for me personally, after that, I had to take a break from the game, I got in the shower and started crying, the whole situation was so beautiful and sad, it was too much. Maybe it's because I played the game for like 6 or 7 hours a day around the holidays, but I was immersed, and that sequence hit me HARD.
This was all before I knew there was a Panam specific ending. The epilogue to the game was wonderfully done I thought, they really hint that V will live. You see a swallow, when all birds are supposed to be extinct. You find a quote from the Iliad on the ground next to the basilisk, just before you get in it to leave night city – I'll quote it here:
...or my mother the goddess, silver-footed Thetis, telleth me that twofold fates are bearing me toward the doom of death:
if I abide here and war about the city of the Trojans, then lost is my home-return, but my renown shall be imperishable;
but if I return home to my dear native land, lost then is my glorious renown, yet shall my life long endure, neither shall the doom of death come soon upon me.
Aye, and I would counsel you others also to sail back to your homes; seeing there is no more hope that ye shall win the goal of steep Ilios...
The second stanza I think references the Sun ending of the game. Lost is your home, but your renown shall be imperishable. You will lose all your friends, but you will have glory. I watched this one on the internet, and when Panam realizes you care for glory more than her, begs you to leave with her, and you get in that AV instead, it's so sad to watch.
The third and fourth stanzas I think reference the Star. You leave the city and return home, losing your glory, but you will live. V's last words in the game are even 'We're goin' home'. I think it's especially powerful for a Nomad V, going back to the badlands, but it works for any of them. Preem storytelling, CDPR.
I really didn't expect a love story in this game at all, I figured the in-game relationships would be basically joytoys, or maybe on the same level as romances in other games, so not particularly great. I certainly didn't expect to come out of the game having a new understanding for how important love and relationships are in my life. Mike Pondsmith, who created the Cyberpunk universe the game is based in, said something along the lines of 'you can't save the world, but you should be able to save yourself, and those close to you.' I think the game conveyed that well - the world is Cyberpunk is terrible and depressing, but your relationships are what matters. The Star ending really nailed that, which is why I wanted to continue it. When I eventually do replay the game, I will pick Nomad Male V and do the Star ending agin, I can't do any of the other ones.
And finally, I have had some questions about a sequel to this work. I do have some ideas, but I'd want to do it as more of a cyberpunk/sci-fi adventure following the Aldecaldos during the Stormtech/Arasaka conflict, instead of the emotional love story this work was. This work was a romance first and sci-fi/cyberpunk second, and I'd like to do a cyberpunk story with romance in the background if I end up continuing this. I'd probably expand more on Mike's idea of not saving the world, instead you'd save those around you. Panam and V will still be together of course, but I would focus more on having them deal with the brutality of the cyberpunk world together. This would have a lot more action as well, and I'd like to expand on the whole biotech thing.
Here are a few (rough) paragraphs from the potential sequel to the Star, to give you an idea of the direction I'd take something like this. I still need to storyboard the whole work, so will be awhile before I release anything from it.
Chicago, 2083
V's breath was heavy in his chest as he struggled to breathe through his nano mask. Panam, Mitch and Dakota weren't doing any better. They were struggling to keep up with the slim man in front of them, who didn't seem to have any trouble at all moving among the tunnels under the ruins of Chicago. V didn't know the man's name, only that Stormtech had sent him, Panam, Dakota and Mitch here, after some guy called Thaumaturge, who was supposed to lead them to Stormtech's old HQ.
Talk about a mysterious man. This guy had been waiting for them as soon as their AV landed, he'd just appeared out of one of the tunnels, didn't make a sound. He was unnerving to look at. Thaumaturge had red cybernetic eyes, and no nose or mouth. In their place, he had a permanently installed Stormtech nanomask. His legs were both dirty silver, and he had one metallic hand, also well worn. In his organic hand, he had a smart pistol. V didn't know what was under his dirty brown shirt, and pants, probably better not to know. Guy was quiet too, only ever spoke one or two words at a time.
"Quickly! Follow me!" Thaumaturge's voice echoed back down the tunnel towards the Aldecaldos. His voice, distorted by his permanent gas mask and the tunnel's echo, sounded almost supernatural.
From this distance, all V could make out of him was his red eyes, occasionally obscured by the dust in the tunnel. Fuck, this was a long ways from the desert.
V picked up his pace, stumbled and almost fell when he felt a strong hand catch him.
Panam's voice came through her nano mask. "I got you V."
If you'd want to read something like this let me know, either on reddit (/u/Naglafar) or here in the comments.
Now though, listen to this sweet lofi version of Johnny Silverhand playing the song from the nomad camp (its actually Pon Pon Shit) youtube dot com /watch?v=Poxi4cNMJVg , and think about Panam and V, sitting on the steps of the Independent California Motel, looking at the stars, their love for each other never fading away. Johnny'd be proud of them, I'm sure.
Thanks again for reading everyone!
