Sorry I Couldn't Be Better 10- Forgive and Mess Up
Guys chapter 10! We've reached a land mark! 59 reviews, 53 follows and 25 favourites! I love you all!
Thanks go out to
Hoshi star88: I knew the name sounded familiar *does the clench fist and look happy expression*
Phantom Wish: Your review touched my heart. If I met you, I'd hug you! Instead…*virtual hug*
ChildrenAreMySoulFood: Awwwwwwwww *does happy dance* Your review…just…many smile
TRIX19: *re-reads chapter* Oops…I'll edit that when I have time to…but anyway…FRIENDSHIP!
Mjus: Roofs are dangerous O.O And you'll get to see if Kid is alright now. Also when I was reading your review I had this image of you having tea with a spider like 'do have a biscuit Mr Legs.'
Dwmalove: No prob bro!
sabrina bina: Yay! Amazing chapter! Wooooo!
Guest 1: They were against it because they didn't think he'd be there. And thankyou for your kind words! They really help
GakuenLME: Yup, I shall fix!
S1T2A3RA: Awwwww you're making me blush like crazy. And to answer your question, so far it doesn't follow anime or manga but it could change if it fits into the current story idea. I'll let you know if it does
bottlecaps: Wow what do I say to a review this awesome. I'm honestly at a loss for words. I hope your recovery is going as well as mine
Guest 2: Thanks for the lovely comments. I'm really sorry but this won't be KiMa. I don't think I'm going to do any pairings. I'll probably just hint.
Bug: It's no problem *winks*
And to all my lovely fans who favourite and follow. You seriously mean a lot to me and I appreciate you all
Disclaimer: Angels sang out in a miraculous chorus as down from the heavens descended…Toph Hitsugaya to say she didn't own Soul Eater (if anyone can guess what the reference in this disclaimer is, they can recommend something and I'll try to do it)
They weren't allowed to see Kid at first. Marie had bundled him away to the infirmary because of how long he'd been exposed to the cold. Winter was coming and spending copious amounts of time out in the harsh weather had done nothing to improve the boy's health. He'd been found hiding in the little grass hut Maka had been suspicious of, huddled up in a vain attempt to protect himself from the cold.
Maka was waiting with her group (yes they were her group now, she'd decided this after realising how relieved she was that Kid was safe) for news on the boy. Right now Marie and the medical nurse (not the therapists) were tending to him and because of how loud the group usually was, they weren't allowed inside. There were no shouts coming from the room so either Kid was unconscious or not in a large amount of pain. Or maybe he just refused to scream.
Everyone was fidgeting or doing something in an attempt to take their mind of their friend in the room.
After trying to attack Ox after he'd sneered at Kid, BlackStar had been given a firm telling off by Sid and told that as an exercise, he should try to sit still for at least ten minutes. Maka could see the sweat on his forehead as he sat on his hands and stared straight ahead, desperately trying to carry out the task. It was the longest Maka had ever seen him sit still for and it was almost spooky.
Tsubaki was interlocking her fingers, twisting them together before pulling them apart and starting again with a new position. Her hair occasionally became tangled with the fingers and she'd stop briefly to comb through the knots and brush the strands aside. She was obviously very nervous but then again, she apparently always was.
Liz was whispering quietly with Patty, the younger of the sisters flapping her hands as she explained something in great detail to the paranoid teen. Liz kept trying to keep her arms still, obviously aware of the tense mood to which Patty was oblivious. Still, Patty would sometimes scare everyone with a loud exclamation.
Soul was slouched casually in a chair he'd dragged from a store room. There were store rooms scattered all over the floor and the area surrounding the infirmary was no exception to this bizarre rule. Maka wasn't exactly sure what the boy was thinking. She'd thought she'd figured Soul out but it seemed there were many layers to him and peeling them away was a hard task.
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the door swung open and Marie stepped out. Her smile was tight and her fists were clenched though she looked bravely at everyone. Soul surprised everyone by talking first.
"How is he?" The solemn boy asked.
"Well," Marie frowned. "He's fine physically but…"
"Mentally," Soul muttered harshly, his fists now matching Marie's as he processed the news. "Can we see him?"
Marie paused at this, her frown apparent as she struggled between saying yes or no. Her gaze lingered on Soul before sliding over to Maka who blinked back in surprise.
"He wants to see Soul," Marie said hesitantly, shooting a glance at BlackStar who stared back hopefully. "And Maka."
Maka was expecting BlackStar to lunge at her and scream about how unfair it was. The blue haired boy obviously wanted to see Soul very badly and he'd known the boy for longer then Maka.
And because of you, he can't. It's your fault…as usual
I know but…SHUT UP!
Maka surprised herself by shouting in her head at the voice, begging it to be quiet just for once because she needed to focus on Kid right now. The voice was right of course but…she just wanted it to leave her alone, just for a moment. Then it could come back and feed her the truth she didn't want to face.
Maka tore her attention away from the weird voice in her head and back to BlackStar, tensing up as she waited for him to lash out. And he did, just not in the way Maka was expecting.
She was expecting him to throw himself at her and tackle her to the ground, screaming and shouting about unfair it was. Instead, what she got was cold, cruel and calculating words that seemed to dig right into her.
"Figures," BlackStar laughed harshly. "The depressive boy and the depressive girl. Someone write a musical, I can smell the ratings."
"BlackStar," Tsubaki gasped, shocked at the cruel words the boy she admired had just spoken. "T-take it back."
"Why?" BlackStar spread his arms wide open, a twisted grin plastered on his face. "I…I'm just telling the truth!" His last sentence was a desperate cry.
Silence fell as he shouted this last part. Maka wasn't sure how to react. She was frozen in place, unable to move as BlackStar's words swirled around in her head. The truth. That was right. It was the truth. She was a messed up teen who had no real purpose in life but to keep moving blindly until her bones grew weak and she fell to the floor to never move again.
"Come on BlackStar," Sid popped up. "Let's go get some air." The attendant led the loudly complaining boy away. Maka stared after them, her limbs still refusing to move her. If her legs weren't so stiff, she probably would have crumpled to the ground.
"Don't let him get to you." Liz said sympathetically. "He really can't help it."
"I know," Maka muttered but truth be told, she didn't. She didn't understand anybody here. As soon as she thought she had worked something out, somebody messed up the puzzle and she had to start all over again.
"Come on Maka," Soul heaved himself of his chair. "Kid's waiting."
"Right coming," Maka scurried over to Soul who in turn moved over to Marie and the therapist opened the door to the infirmary. Soul moved through quickly, a boy with a goal and Maka hesitantly followed, her head bowed. Marie shut the door behind them, sealing them of from the therapist and everyone else. Maka kept her gaze on the floor as she walked further into the room.
When Maka finally looked up, her eyes took in a neat if small room containing four beds of which three were unoccupied. The fourth held Kid of course. There were no weird machines or anything to show that Kid was seriously hurt but he was rugged up in numerous blankets. Sleepy eyes peered out at Soul and Maka and suddenly the girl wanted to squeal and call him cute. That was a weird sensation. She'd never wanted to do that before.
"Hi Soul, Maka," Kid acknowledged them with a nod. His voice sounded young but it had a kind of air to it, like he was a fifty year old man returning from a battle. He sounded weary and tired. "Sorry about…about all of this."
"It's okay Kid, I understand." Soul stepped forward to stand right next to the bed. Maka took a step forward but stopped, unsure why Kid wanted her if it was her fault.
"I wanted to see you Maka so I could apologise." Was everyone in this hospital psychic?
"What do you mean?" Maka kept her voice calm and steady though her hands shook.
"You're probably blaming yourself," Kid explained. "And you shouldn't. It's my fault. Me and my problems. So please, don't think it's your fault."
What Kid was saying was rather bold. Maka could be blaming him rather than him her. Maka could be offended by Kid's interpretation of the matter. Maka could brush him off and tell him that he was looking too deep into things and that she was fine.
But Maka could also stand there, frozen as Kid's words swirled around in her head and her hands opened and closed as if grasping for something.
Because Kid was right. He'd hit the nail on the head. He'd worked out something, heard something and he'd easily known what it meant. He knew Maka had been blaming herself and he knew he needed to apologise. In a way, it was sad.
The only person who understood Maka was just as messed up as she was, if not more. She'd interacted with people in the hospital more then she'd done at all in her entire life. And she'd been there about two days. It was ridiculous. It was stupid. It was pitiful. It was…
Nice…
Nice to be cared about. Nice to have people who came to see her. Nice to have people apologise her. Nice to be invited, nice to be involved.
The hospital was good for her.
'I'm just telling the truth!'
BlackStar's words floated back to her, his harsh voice ripping apart the image Maka had just created.
CRASH!
Shards shattering everywhere. The moment ruined, torn down and falling. With one sentence, one memory, everything falls. She'd convinced herself, she thought she could get better. And it hurt so much now, now that it was gone. It wasn't fair. She'd taken a step and she'd been pulled right back.
Maka blinked her tears away and stared into Kid's hopeful eyes. She realised he wanted her to say something in return to his apology. He seemed apprehensive but…hopeful. That was an emotion Maka hadn't seen in a while and especially not directed at her.
"Kid…I'm sorry too. I'll forgive you if…you'll forgive me?" Maka also realised how much she wanted Kid to forgive her. Here in the hospital, she didn't want to be hated. She didn't want to hurt people who were, to put it rudely, messed up in the head.
"I have nothing to forgive you for Maka but if it helps then…I forgive you." Kid said almost shyly, shrinking back into his blankets much like a turtle retreats into its shell.
"I forgive you too." Maka said genuinely and was glad to see Kid's lips twitch in a smile. The boy then turned to Soul who had been standing there awkwardly whilst Maka and Kid sorted out their current issue.
"And Soul, sorry for worrying you. I guess you thought it was going to end up like last time."
Like last time? Maka's mind whirled as she tried to figure out what Kid meant. If her train of thought was a video game, the words 'game over' or something like that would be flashing. She had no idea what Kid was talking about.
"Ah it's okay Kid," Soul shot a quick look at Maka who inwardly bristled at the almost accusing glare. Outwardly though, she blinked back causing Soul to turn back to Kid.
"Hey guys," Marie suddenly burst into the room, breaking Kid off mid-sentence as he said something about symmetry. "Kiddo needs some rest so you'll have to leave."
Soul shot one look at Marie, waved goodbye to Kid and dragged Maka from the room. Maka wiggled her fingers a bit as a feeble attempt of waving and then the door shut in their faces. The corridor was empty, the crowd that had previously been there having dispersed.
"Want to know why Marie did that?" Soul asked as he started to walk, hands shoved in pockets. Maka hurried to catch up.
"Why?" She asked, curious now that Soul had brought it up.
"Because we were in there for too long alone." Soul explained. "It's an unwritten rule here. People like Kid and you and occasionally me and a few others here can't be left alone for long periods of time without at least one person checking on them. So don't be bothered if a nurse bursts in on you randomly. They mean well. Trust me."
"How can I trust you, I barely know you." Maka said absently, not really aware of what she was saying and missing the eyebrow Soul rose at her.
"Well whatever pigtails, I have stuff to do, places to be and BlackStar to avoid. That you can trust." With this odd remark, Soul picked up his pace and had soon left Maka behind, standing in the middle of the corridor and wandering what to do.
Dinner was strangely subdued that night what with Kid being absent. BlackStar sat with Ox and the two spent ages whispering together and earning themselves suspicious looks from the nurses. Soul sat alone and when Maka asked why, Liz just explained he did that sometimes if he was in a thoughtful mood.
Tsubaki didn't speak once during dinner and even Patty was quiet, her food towers not as elaborate as the ones Maka had seen. Liz occasionally said something but apart from that, the only sounds in the room where whispers and the clink of cutlery.
"How was Kid?" Liz finally asked once a conversation finally broke out at Kim's table. Maka stopped pushing her peas around her plate and stared at her glass of water as if it might provide her with some answers.
"We didn't get time to ask." She said finally. "Marie burst in on us before we could."
"So you don't know anything?" Liz pressed, emphasizing her sentence with a jab of her fork in Maka's direction.
"Well he seemed alright." Maka cast her mind back to the meeting. "I mean he was pretty pale and rugged up in a ton of blankets but there was so special medication or anything."
Liz was silent for a moment as she chewed on her lamb before setting her fork down and giving Maka an exasperated look.
"I'm not stupid, I knew he wasn't hurt. I mean mentally. Could you tell anything?"
"I don't know much about Kid." Maka found herself sounding defensive. "Heck I don't know much about any of you. I don't know how you act and what's normal for you and I don't even know why half of you are here so no, I cannot tell you if Kid was okay mentally because I haven't the slightest idea. Go ask Soul if you're that desperate since he and Kid seem so close."
"Geeze Maka I was just asking." Liz snapped back. "I'm not some smarty pants like you. That didn't spring to my mind."
"Well stop to think next time." Maka said coolly and Liz shot her the finger in return, quick as a wink.
Well, well, well Maka. Pushing people away are we?
No…
Oh so you're just naturally a bitch
No!
Then you are pushing her away
Get lost
Nope
What?
I said no
"God just lay off me!" Maka found herself snapping even though Liz was only just opening her mouth. "Life hasn't been some walk in the park for me so don't make things worse."
Poor baby Maka, worse than everyone else. Their problems don't matter
What? No, that's not what I said
Liz isn't stupid. She knows what you mean
But I didn't mean it
It'll still hurt
Maka focused back on Liz's face and saw the hurt and bewilderment in the teen's eyes.
"Maka I know life hasn't been easy for you." She said softly. "But it hasn't been for anyone here. If it was then we wouldn't be here. No one here has pain that's any less important or more important than another's. We're all equals here and we're quite proud of it. So please think of that the next time you decide to start flinging around pity comments and looking down on people."
"What…no that wasn't what I meant." Maka stammered, turning to give Tsubaki a pleading look. The shy girl averted her eyes, choosing instead to stare intently at her bowl of soup.
"Come on Patty let's go." Liz said icily, standing up and waiting for her sister to follow lead. "If I don't calm down, I don't think even you can prevent a fight from starting out."
This chapter was really hard to write for some reason which is why it's taken so long. I'm still not entirely happy with it but please enjoy!
