Sorry I Couldn't be Better 15- Empty House
And we're back for another update, yay! Sorry the latest chapters have been a bit boring, there will be some questions answered soon.
*throws thanks at…*
Guest 1: It shall be!
Blonde-And-Quirky: Aw thanks. Some of the story will be explained this chapter…hopefully
Phantom Wish: It will all be revealed *wraps bed sheet around body and sneaks away creepily* And I've been reunited with my friends! There was much running and hugging.
LittleAngel1031: Thank you so much for reviewing, it really means a lot that you keep supporting me!
Mjus: Moment, woo! Though you are right, I never said the person died did I? *still wearing creepy bed sheet* All those thoughts (like be a dear and don't exist) are her fears manifesting in things she thinks the people around her would say. No spider, just a creep thing I thought of. Also does the new spider have a name?
sabrina bina: That's great to hear! Therapy is going to be interesting indeed.
Guest 2: I hope you feel better! Thanks for still dropping a review!
Disclaimer: I never claimed Soul Eater was mine but just in case, I don't own it. Yup, done
Maka fidgeted uncomfortably in a comfy armchair as Marie sorted through a filing cabinet and jiggled the mouse of her computer at the same time in an attempt to get the stubborn technology working.
"Sorry Maka," Marie said again having already apologised upon entering the room. "This always happens. Just give me a minute."
Maka nodded shyly and looked around the room, comparing it to Azusa's professional office. She'd been in Marie's office once before but had been hysterical and hadn't really taken anything in. The walls were a bright sunny yellow colour and the carpet a soft green that she longed to sink her feet into. There were photos, art work and certificates arranged in a vibrant mural on one wall. The bookcase was cluttered, holding ornaments and photo frames rather than books and there was an arrangement of pillows, plush toys and beanbags in a corner. So whilst the room was messier then Azusa's, it seemed far more friendly and homey.
"Are here we are!" Marie cried in triumphant as she produced a file and the computer started up behind her. "Sorry about the wait, I can be very disorganised and my computer is so evil, it always shuts down when I leave it for like, one minute."
"It's okay," Maka said awkwardly, sinking into the soft, plushness of the armchair. Marie smiled at this and absently made a note on Maka's file.
"So childhood memories," Marie said cheerfully. "Should I start with one of mine? I have a lot considering I'm…" She hesitated. "Older than you. But not too old obviously."
"If you like," Maka muttered, wishing she could just disappear and avoid the terrible topic of conversation.
"Let's see," Marie leaned forward and made a small humming noise. "Oh I should tell you about the time I convinced Azusa to sneak out the dorm in year eleven. We went to the same school, that's where I met her."
"Uh huh,"
"So it was a boarding school and we were meant to be in bed but it was really hot and I said we should go sit on the oval. Azusa was dead against it but I used my ultra-convincing skills which meant I dragged her out with my hand over her mouth. We nearly got caught but we didn't thanks to Azusa who knows how to blend into shadows. And we spent the night on the oval together and snuck into the breakfast hall in the morning."
"Cool," Maka muttered. "Did you uh…do it lots?"
"Not much," Marie sighed. "It stopped after I…met someone who changed my life, not romantically of course!" She hastened to say when Maka's eyes widened against her own will. "I met the person who made me want to become a therapist and help children."
"Who?" Maka asked, curious despite herself.
"That's a story for another time." Marie laughed. "We're here to discuss you. Is it okay if I ask you what your favourite childhood memory is?"
Maka wanted to ask why Marie was asking permission to ask it and it was only after a quick glance at her file where she picked up the letters that formed 'unstable' that she understood. They thought she'd lost the plot.
"I…don't really have one." Maka said quickly. "I was kinda…ignored a lot."
"Surely there must have been at time you liked or at least had some fun." Marie pressed, abandoning her notepad though Maka was sure that everything about her from the tiniest detail to the most noticeable feature would be recorded down the moment she left.
"Whenever I read I was…happy I guess." Maka frowned, trying to dredge up a memory of her reading recently. Did yesterday count when Azusa had given her the books? She'd been happy then…well what was considered happy for her. Reading had always excited her, taken her away to a different world where she could be a pirate, a midnighter*, a superhero.
"That's nice," Marie was saying.
"Marie," Maka said uncertainly. "Am I meant to feel sad all the time? Because I'm depressed?"
"That's an interesting question Maka." Marie pursed her lips. "I knew people who were depressed because they didn't feel anything at all. Depression comes in waves I suppose. Sometimes you feel happy, normal for yourself and you think your depression is a fading thing. And then the sadness comes, sometimes triggered by people or events in your life and other times it just happens, no reason why. Is that what it's like for you Maka?"
Said teen did not like how the conversation had swung back round to her but that was probably Marie's intention. After all, therapy wasn't a time to learn facts and symptoms. It was meant to be about getting better right?
But is something even wrong with me? Is depression some cancerous blob we can just cut away or is it a part of me. Can one not exist without the other?
"That's a tough question Maka." Marie said, startling the girl who realised what she'd intended to be private pondering had in fact ended up being spoken. "I've had patients before with depression and they eventually leave me because they're better. Because they can control it and their emotions. But I've never had a patient who said their depression was gone, just like that."
That was something for Maka to think about as she left to go to music.
When Maka arrived at the music room after being lead there by Marie who swapped her for Jacqueline, (who look relieved to be leaving) Kilik was just finishing what had apparently been an epic drum solo and the group was laughing and pretending to freak out when he blew a kiss.
"Okay class," Sang the music teacher Mrs Chambers, a cheery young woman dressed in a floaty skirt and matching top. "Would you get into groups of three now, choose a song that represents a feeling all three of you share and then you'll have to sing it. Ah you must be Maka." The last part was directed at said teen who had been standing uncertainly at the door.
"Yeah," Maka nodded shortly. "Nice to meet you."
A smile blossomed over the youngish teacher's face and she gestured for people to get into groups. Maka groaned inwardly, hating the words the teacher had just uttered. At school she'd always ended up working alone when it game to group work because no one was willing to work with her. Some teachers allowed this because Maka was silent and worked hard and even alone, she handed up well written and produced work. Others agreed because they simply couldn't be bothered forcing a group to take Maka.
The teen looked around and saw that Liz was already with Patty and Tsubaki. The paranoid teen shot her an apologetic look but made no move to join Maka. Kilik was with Thunder and Fire (though Maka assumed only he would be singing), Kim with Luke and Tami. BlackStar was laughing with Harvar and Ox. That left…
Soul and Kid.
It seemed she couldn't escape the two even if she wanted to. They were everywhere and they seemed determined to find out everything about her.
"Coming Maka?" Soul remarked, nodding his head to a corner in the music room where Kid was waiting, adjusting the pillows that were scattered in the corner into a perfect symmetrical pattern.
"Yeah, sure," she followed Soul over, sitting down and nudging a pillow out of place by accident which meant that Kid pounced on it and moved it back into its pattern. The room was already filling with noise, people chattering on what songs to sing.
"So, a joint feeling." Kid remarked, fiddling with the beading on a spare cushion that had nowhere to go in his creation. Soul was staring blankly into space, gazing at something Maka couldn't see. He was probably just zoning out or something. Kid noticed however and frowned, reaching forward to poke at Soul.
"What?" The boy in question turned slowly, blinking at his friend.
"Did you take your medication at breakfast?" Kid asked, looking concerned and worried. Maka gazed on in confusion.
"Yeah," Soul muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "Just…never mind. We need a joint feeling. Any ideas Maka?"
"Um…I don't suppose either of you feel depressed so…" She trailed off.
"Actually," Soul looked over at Kid who scowled.
"Don't say anything Soul." He muttered, yet again confusing Maka. The white haired boy shrugged.
"What about…anger?" Soul put forward the emotion.
"Not really," Maka said, worried about declining an idea but realising she wasn't angry often. She cast her eyes around the room, meeting Liz's gaze as the teen performed her routine of checking the room.
"Calm?" Kid questioned.
"Nope," Maka and Soul answered in unison.
"Yeah kind of a bad one." Kid admitted.
"Maybe…loneliness." Maka said softly. Their small group fell silent as they pondered this.
"Yeah," Kid said finally. "That works for me."
"Me too," Soul said, sounding reluctant and Maka understood why. Loneliness, such a human feeling. To long for company and to never find it.
"We just need to find a song now." Maka tried to sound light but the gloomy mood that had fallen over the group was not an easy thing to push away.
"Any ideas?" Kid said glumly, abandoning the pillow to pick at threads in the carpet. Yet again silence fell, this time the members of the group racking their brains for any ideas.
"Empty house by Moonless Night's**." Soul said finally and to Maka's relief, it was one she knew. It was one she'd played constantly, taking comfort in the piano and violin that swelled together. Kid's eyes were bright, he obviously knew it too.
"Do we have to sing though?" Maka sighed, resting her head on her hands. "How long does music have left?"
"Ten minutes," Kid said immediately. "Believe me I want it to end as much as you." He stretched, his long limbs graceful as he yawned. "I just want to go to bed."
"I thought you were an insomniac." Maka blurted out before she could stop herself. "Sorry,"
"It's okay," Kid said quietly. "I'm not going to sleep, I was just going to lie there. Too many…nightmares to sleep."
"Oh,"
…
"Okay kids let's group back up." Mrs Chambers clapped her hands. "Looks like we'll only have time to hear one group. How about yours Maka? Since you're new and all."
Maka glared daggers at her but the young woman just smiled it off, stepping aside to leave an area of the room free whilst the other patients gathered on the floor, nudging each other and whispering until Mrs Chambers asked for silence.
"Right so we'll try to guess the emotion after you sing, yeah?" Mrs Chambers smiled cheerily, sitting down next to Kim who scowled at her and shifted away slightly.
"Uh…" Maka was frozen in place, hands clenching and unclenching at her side as she tried to get control of her breathing.
"Woke up today and saw a grey sky and silence answered me when I called." Soul sang softly, surprising the panicking teen.
"And my footsteps echoed when I walked down the hall because the stillness of morning was still here." Kid joined in, singing the next line.
"And no matter how hard I try to see you, you slip away like sea foam." Maka took a breath as Soul sang the next line, looking over to Kid who had his mouth open, ready to sing the next line.
"Quick Maka," Soul muttered. "You sing the chorus."
"And the clearing I lay in as I tried sleeping, faded away around me." Kid said the pre chorus line.
"All I've ever known, is this empty house. Why aren't you home? Cause I've waited for forever. And nothing's getting better. This game of yours isn't clever. There's just this empty house." Maka started softly, almost inaudible but as she sang on, her voice gained volume until she was pouring her passion into the song, swaying to invisible pianos and violins.
Together the three sang on, quiet but passionate, Maka gaining more and more confidence. They skipped the musical part due to lack of piano and violin to fill in the section missing words and when the last line finally faded away, silence fell.
Then the clapping began, a whoop from Kilik and a cheer from Patty. Maka felt a grin split her face and she bowed with the others.
"Now who can guess what the feeling was?" Mrs Chambers called over the applause, looking slightly upset, her eyes scanning the three almost cautiously. It was Tsubaki who broke the thoughtful silence.
"Loneliness," She said and there was no trace of a stutter in her sad but clear voice. "Such a human emotion."
Silence fell again and no one made a move to break it. A bird cried in the distance and Maka shivered, the heated room suddenly seeming quite cold.
An ambulance raced through the night, running red lights and overtaking anyone in front of it. Inside, it was even more chaotic. Paramedics tried to stay calm but their voices rose as they shouted orders, screamed statistics and searched for equipment.
"We're losing them!" One cried. "How far away are we?"
"I estimate five minutes!" Someone yelled back.
"Not good enough."
"Someone called the police right?"
"Losing them, hurry up!"
"Remain calm. We're going to make it."
The screeches of the sirens roused a small girl curled up in bed. She sat up, pushing aside the covers and running to the window, peering into the night. Her wide fearful eyes watched the ambulance race by, unaware she had ever been a witness to their frenzied dash. She turned as if to seek comfort from her parents before stopping short. She trudged over to the bed and curled back into it, pulling the covers over her head and biting her lip so that she wouldn't cry.
In another house, a boy with hair that stuck up everywhere sat up, also awoken by the ambulance. His feet itched, telling him to jump out of bed, to see what was going on. But his mind was cloudy with sleep and the energy he usually possessed was dormant right now. He honestly could not be bothered and so he closed his eyes and tried to still his body.
Two girls lay cuddled up in a single bed, neither having fallen asleep when bed time came around and the building fell silent. They heard the siren clearly and one winced, cuddling up closer to the other in a desperate need for comfort. They both felt sympathy for whoever was in the medical transportation van but the girl who was doing the cuddling felt relief. It wasn't her, she wasn't dying.
A timid girl jolted awake as the sound of sirens filled her house. She wanted to run to her brother but he was gone forever. She wanted her parents but she was too scared to cry for them. She burrowed deeper under the blankets until she could barely breathe. She whimpered but stayed very quiet. It was no use crying. No one would come.
A boy stared at the white hospital ceiling. Footsteps pounded past his room. An emergency obviously. He had heard the ambo rock up only moments before with a dramatic screeching of brakes. Very bad according to the 'oh so not very quiet' voices that filled his ears. Poor person. Hospitals were a terrible place to be stuck in, especially when you were suffering.
"We're losing him! Surgery! Now!"
And I'm back to feeling horrible thanks to my teacher. Gee what a joy. No wonder I never get anywhere.
*= Reference from my current favourite series, The Midnighters by Scott Westerfield. Check it out if you're looking for a good read.
**= song I made up…sorry if you decided to go looking for it. Please don't steal it. I won't do anything with it but…it is mine in a way. I just didn't want to put in an actual song and get sued or something or get my story taken down.
