Sorry I Couldn't be Better 21- The Gloom at the end of the Tunnel
I am about to leave for a terrible two week holiday where I will be excluded from my family and pretend to be a spirit at the duck pond at the caravan park. So fun times for everyone. Sadly, no wifi so no updates in that period. This is why this chapter is out now.
Pelts thanks at
Animelover: Aww thankyou. You really brightened my day. And I don't think I'll be seeing the teacher again. Phew. But thankyou, you are so sweet and awesome!
Sabrina bina: Yeah, she's slowly getting there. And happy new year to you!
Everything will perish one day: You must be awesome at art! I'm glad you have a safe place like that and get to spend more time there. That's awesome!
LittleAngel1031: Ahhh thankyou. I'm so glad you like it. What you wrote made me so happy!
InkDreamer24: Thankyou for the praise. I'm glad you like how I write, sometimes I get worried about it. And woo go America! You're the hero!
Lost Echo: I'm so glad this story makes your day. It makes my day when I get your reviews. I'm sure your writing is amazing! I'm sure if you talk about how controlled and safe fanfiction is, they'd consider it. And you can tell me anything, seriously.
WhenTheCherryBlossomsFall: Yeah, I imagine that Jacqueline slips into the background a lot. Glad you're enjoying.
And to those who favourite, follow, do both, lurk and read, YOU ARE ALL SO COOL AND AMAZING! THANKYOU!
Disclaimer: I got nothing...Soul Eater isn't mine...
The video came to an end with everyone clapping. Maka had even seen herself in a few scenes to her surprise. One time being a weird group activity they'd done once and the other with her in the background of the dining hall whilst Kim was the main attraction, balancing a spoon on her nose.
"Thank you Harvar that was amazing work, especially with the short notice you had." Marie said warmly causing the silent boy to duck his head in embarrassment. "Now for the last thing of the group session before some free time and Kim gets picked up. Kim is going to make a speech."
Okay this totally was turning out like a graduation ceremony. Maka hadn't really liked her year seven one. Her parents had dropped her off and picked her up afterwards, both having important dinners that they couldn't get out of. She'd worn a second hand dress she'd bought herself and being the smartest kid in the class, had to make a speech. The parents seemed to love her but the kids sneered and scowled and made fun of her afterwards. Not the best night.
Kim stood up, smoothing out a few creases in her dress and pulling a piece of paper seemingly out of nowhere. She'd been told she'd have to make a speech obviously.
"Okay..." She began, her voice faltering which surprised Maka. Kim seemed so sure of herself and here she was nervous and hesitant.
"You can do it Kim," Ox whispered, still smitten despite the lack of interest Kim showed in him.
"Well when I first came here, it was the last place I wanted to be." Kim said, her voice gaining in strength. "I didn't think someone like me belonged here. I thought kleptomania didn't really qualify as a mental disorder so I thought I was just a waste of space. I was downright mean and rude, especially to Soul. So yeah, I'm sorry for that." Kim gave Soul a wink.
"Your apology is accepted." Soul smirked, earning himself a few laughs.
"Anyway I was determined to be as stubborn as possible so that the staff here would change their minds and let me leave." Kim laughed a little. "You can see how well that turned out." The staff there all laughed too. "So I was stuck here, thinking I had the worst luck and that this was the worst place to be."
Just like Maka at the start. She was so determined to get out, to avoid talking to people and to get home. But it was different for her now. Things had changed and they obviously had for Kim too.
"Everything changed though." Kim continued, cementing Maka's thoughts. "I was accepted here. I stopped wanting to take and when I did, the rush wasn't as strong or it wasn't there at all. I made friends, had fun and soon, I didn't want to go. This place was amazing. Sure, there were times when I relapsed as Azusa called it. And sometimes I hated this place again. It was this weird cycle. But...I always found a way to break it. And so, I am grateful to everyone here. Sure there were times when I hated you but in the end, you just wanted to help and you did. Sure maybe I'll get the urge to steal sometimes but then I'll remember everyone here and I'll know that I'm stronger than that. So thank you everyone!" She raised her hand in the air like a rock star and everyone began to clap. Maka found herself joining in, the mood contagious like it had been earlier with the dodge ball.
"FREETIME!" BlackStar yelled when the clapping had died down and leapt off his chair to perform some weird break-dancing routine. Maka sighed and looked away, happening to spot Kim and Jacqueline leaving the room.
By now, Maka was sure that something was going on between the two and she couldn't help but be curious. The teen was certain that it had been the two talking outside her room and one minute they seemed happy and the next Jacqueline was moping around and Kim was avoiding her.
So Maka followed them out, watching as they sat slumped against the wall of the hallway, around the corner from the room. It was perfect. Maka could eavesdrop without being seen.
"You have my phone number." Kim was saying. "And I'm sure I can visit. And you'll get out soon and we can catch up and have sleepovers."
"Marie said I'm not doing well though." Jacqueline said miserably. "The slightest loud noise sets me off."
"You were fine in dodge ball today." Kim said gently, a tone Maka hadn't heard from her before. She always seemed rude and uncaring. But there was a softer side to her. If only Maka's parents were like that.
"Well I guess I was having too much fun to notice." Jacqueline sighed. "Why can't it be like that all the time?"
"Maybe it can!" Kim exclaimed. "You just need to calm down more, stop over thinking."
"I've tried." Jacqueline said wearily. "It never works."
"Well..." Kim fell silent. "Let's just go enjoy free time."
Maka hurried back into the room the moment she heard that, scurrying over to Tsubaki who had gotten a pen and paper from somewhere and was writing some sort of card.
"Hi Maka," she smiled. "Wanna help me m-make this card for Kim?"
"Sure," Maka agreed. "We can all sign it." She sat down next to the shy girl and watched as she inked butterflies next to the passage of text before signing her name and handing it to Maka. The depressed teen printed her name neatly.
"Can you g-go ask people to sign it?" Tsubaki asked, twisting her index fingers together.
"Me?" Maka said in shock. "Oh no I'm not asking. I'm the new girl. I can ask the group but no one else."
"I can ask the g-group." Tsubaki said. "But not the o-others."
"Well this is awkward." Maka sighed, staring at the pretty card. "We could ask Liz to get the others to sign it."
"No she'll be too p-paranoid." Tsubaki sighed. "And Patty will give the whole thing away. Same with BlackStar."
"So we ask Soul or Kid?" Maka turned around in her chair to see the two boys playing musical chairs with five of the boys and Patty.
"What about you face your fears and do it together?" Marie popped up behind them, smiling brightly. "I'm sure you can do it."
Both girls looked down at the card and then up at the enthusiastic Marie.
"Fine," they both groaned in sync.
Rounding up the girl's group to sign the card had been easy and Kilik, Thunder, Fire and Crona had signed without complaint (bar an unsure Crona who didn't know how to deal with signing cards) but both Maka and Tsubaki had hesitated over approaching Ox, Harvar, Luke and Tami. It had taken them some time to finally work up the courage to go over there and when they finally finished it, Jacqueline was with Kim. They needed to get the shy girl away from Kim without arousing suspicion.
"You do it." Maka hissed. "You've been here longer. It'll be weird if I suddenly want to talk to Kim in private."
"B-but Kim and I aren't friends." Tsubaki fretted. "Why would I s-suddenly want to talk to her?"
"Kim's...guardian will be here soon." Maka sighed. "One of us has to do it."
"We s-should just ask someone else." Tsubaki said, glancing around the room.
"No it needs to be one of us." Maka said glumly. She looked over at Tsubaki and saw how nervous the girl was, how scared she was at the prospect of going up there.
"M-Maka," Tsubaki started to say but she didn't get to finish. Maka shoved the card into Tsubaki's hands and got up.
"I'll do it." She declared and marched over to the giggling teens. "Kim, can I speak to you quickly in private?" Kim and Jacqueline exchanged glances.
"Uh sure," Kim said slowly. Jacqueline rose to her feet gracefully and moved away. Maka took her seat.
"Sorry to interrupt you two..." Maka was stalling, trying to think of something to say. She'd been so caught up in the moment, facing her fear and helping Tsubaki that she didn't have a clue what to say to Kim.
"It's okay I guess." Kim sighed. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Did you try and pretend you were getting better when you first came here?" Okay well that had just slipped out. Complete accident and everything.
"What?" Kim exclaimed, tone incredulous. "Why the hell are you asking that?"
"Because I did." Maka swallowed. She couldn't back out of this. She was here now. "Because I was so certain I didn't need to be here. I gave up really quickly though. Turns out I'm more depressed than I thought."
"So you're here for depression?" Kim asked, tone suddenly soft which yet again tore down Maka's belief that Kim was some rude city girl.
"Yeah," Maka looked down at her hands. All this for a lousy signature.
"Sucks huh," Kim leant back in her chair. "All of us here, we've got it tough. Ox, poor boy, doesn't know any better than to love himself. His father drilled it into his head, never fail. Never fail. Over and over again. And Harvar...doesn't speak much because he's afraid the wrong thing will come out. Never really smiles either. Tami couldn't handle the pressure of this dance school, kept worrying she was too fat. Luke wanted attention and he thought the best way to get it was to lie. And Jacqueline...her house was bombed. She survived because she slept in the basement but the noise..." Kim trailed off. All Maka could do was stare.
Sure she knew what some of the people Kim had just talked about had. Sure she knew what labels had been slapped on them but she didn't know why. She didn't know how. And now she did. Reasons. Things that triggered it. Set them off, brought them down and made them seem weak. Their own minds becoming their worst enemies.
And what about Maka's group. Why were they all here? Tsubaki being here surely had something to do with her brother. BlackStar's parents were dead, Liz and Patty had lived on the streets...
And your parents don't love you
No. Not the voice. Not now!
That's the reason you're here, the reason you jumped
Stop it! Just shut up!
"Maka, are you okay?" Kim said hesitantly as Maka let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in.
"Yeah it's just kinda hard to talk about this stuff."
"You know when I first came here, there was this dude called Brady." Kim began, confusing Maka. "He had really bad anger issues. Like crazy. The slightest thing could set him off and he could really violent. It didn't happen often, most of the time he was just grumpy and a bit angry. But one day I wound him up, called him a retard. He insulted Jacqueline, I got angry." Here, Kim shrugged as if there had been no other option but to call him that. "And he screamed at me. Called me pathetic, the lowest kind of crazy, weak, an attention whore who didn't belong anywhere and certainly not here. I relapsed..." Kim laughed bitterly. "It was bad because I didn't just try to steal. I got angry, like it was contagious and Brady had given it to me. And then I got depressed. That held me back a lot. I'd been due to be released but what Brady had said just hit me hard. He eventually left but his words...I just couldn't let them go."
"How did...how did you get over it?" Maka asked, too deep in to backtrack now.
"To be honest I don't think I ever will. Those words really hurt but at the same time, I felt like if I could get over it, then Brady was wrong. I wasn't weak and I wasn't doing this for attention. So even if those words still hurt me, I know I'm so much stronger than that." Kim smiled. "And here we are now. I mean, I'm getting out of here. This is the best day ever!"
"And what about Jacqueline?" Maka asked softly. Kim's look of delight crumpled.
"What about her?" She asked warily.
"You two are super close. And now she'll be alone." Maka looked over and saw said teen talking with Tsubaki. Two shy girls bonding...if they were bonding.
"Shut up," Kim said quietly, no force behind the words. "Don't think I want to do it. If I could fake something to stay here with her, I would. But the therapists here are mind readers or something."
"I know what you mean." Maka sighed. "Honestly, it's quiet creepy at times." Both girls laughed, the serious vibe of their conversation fading slightly.
"Kim your aunt's here." Marie sang suddenly. "It's time for final goodbyes."
Kim's eyes widened and Maka turned to see a youngish lady standing next to Marie, brown hair streaked with blonde. Obviously the aunt then.
"Kim the main reason I asked to speak with you alone is because we've got something for you." Maka began and Tsubaki crept over with Jacqueline as the teens began to crowd round Kim.
"A card," Tsubaki said shyly. "We've all signed it and those of us who w-wanted to or have phone numbers have given them to you. We also put the h-hospital number down so you can call the p-people still here."
Maka glanced over at Kim and saw the strong girl's face crumple as she gingerly took the card, almost as if she thought it was hot to touch.
"Three cheers for Kim!" Ox yelled suddenly and the teens surged forward, embracing Kim in their arms, whispering final messages in her head and Harvar passed over a copy of his DVD.
"We'll miss you Kim!"
"Stay strong!"
"Remember to call!"
"Thanks for the clothes."
"Tell me where you got that dress."
"You've been so brave."
"H-hope you like the card."
Finally though, the noise died down and everyone backed away leaving Jacqueline standing right before Kim. The two stood there silently, eyes locked.
Finally Kim made the move, lunging forward and pulling Jacqueline into her arms, keeping her there. Slowly but surely, Jacqueline's arms rose to cling to Kim and if was even possible, the two held each other close even tighter than before.
Maka's eyes met Kim's and the teen mouthed something.
Thank you
The two drew apart and Kim laughed, breaking the silence. People began to yell things to her again. But Marie stepped in and drew Kim away. Her aunt rested a hand on her shoulder and Kim stiffened. She waved a final time, turned and flashed one last smile.
And then she was gone...
That night, Maka felt tired. That was good. She was actually falling asleep, her eyelids growing heavier by the second. Sure there was noise outside her door, some drama with something involving someone but right now, she was just too tired to care, too tired to think. For all she knew, it was a dream. Those weird dreams that you got when you were on the border of consciousness and sleep.
It was nice, to just slip away. Lying awake had really done a few numbers on the girl and the bags under her eyes were just plain annoying.
"Maka," A voice hissed, rudely jolting her from her dozy state. "Maka are you awake?"
"I swear to god," Maka muttered, sitting up and shaking her head to get her hair out of her face. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, her clock yet again covered by an article of clothing. If the reason she'd been so rudely woken up wasn't good, she was going to go as crazy as that Brady kid...or BlackStar.
Soul was standing at the foot of her bed, white hair even spikier than usual and clothes rumpled. His eyes were wild, breath coming out in short gasps.
"Maka," He said frantically. "We need to talk."
"What?" Maka spluttered. "Why? What the hell Soul? Why right now?"
"Haven't you heard anything?" Soul hissed. "It happened like, right outside your room."
"I've was falling asleep." Maka protested. "I...sorry. I thought it was a dream." Now she felt terrible. It was obviously important and here she was complaining about missing some sleep. Stupid selfish Maka.
"It's big," Soul muttered. "And it's crazy."
"What happened?" Maka asked. "Is it about Kid? Or Tsubaki? Or Liz?" She was fully prepared to rattle off everyone else's names but Soul held up a hand to silence her.
"Asura," He said slowly. "Escaped from his solitary room. Kid won't calm down and there's an insane freak loose in the hospital. Stupid cameras still aren't working but they know he's somewhere on the top floor. If that changes, they'll wake everyone up for a lockdown in the main hall. Every single floor. But right now, you need to know about Kid."
"Why?" All Maka could do was question Soul right now. Everything was going crazy.
"Because you're going to calm Kid down before he snaps just like Asura."
I'm so evil...sorry. What a cliffhanger and now I'll disappear for two weeks. But two weeks in a tiny caravan (triple bunk with air conditioner so not that bad) means lots of writing so expect a chapter up the moment I get back...hopefully.
I kinda hated this chapter at first, deleted every second thing I wrote but then got majorly passionate about it.
TOSHI AWAY (if you wanna review, I love you, if you don't, I still love you)
