So it took me forever to write this chapter, I know, but I was struggling to add relationship conflicts without letting the characters seem out of character. I hope you enjoy this chapter, though.

I'm not trans*, but I have saved the links to the sources I used to write Heather's story. If you have any corrections to make, please don't hesitate. I want this to be as accurate as possible.

Whipped Cream & Other Delights,

TheHarleyQueen


So, to start with, Riley did not intend for the day to end up like this. It's Tuesday, which means SAGA, which means spending time with friends and talking about real stuff and Riley was so excited. She'd even come up with a topic that she was really looking forward to discussing- How'd you figure it out? She and Lucas had a date planned afterwards, too, at a Dim Sum restaurant. Really, she hadn't intended to end up at Topanga's with Emma, Mila and Farkle. That was not how today was supposed to go {but really, Riley was so happy with this}.

It started like this.

In History, they were covering the Cold War. Nothing new had happened in her life, so there was no need for her father to take the syllabus into his own hands. She was leaning back to hold Maya's hand, and they weren't paying complete attention. History was the one subject that Riley could get away with it- after all, she literally lived with a History tutor. Lucas was scribbling notes at top speed, and Farkle was listening to her dad but took no notes (he didn't need to- he remembered it all anyway). It was a good day. After class, she'd go to SAGA and Maya and Lucas would go to Art Club, and then she'd meet Lucas for their date, and all was good.

Then her dad said that they could talk amongst themselves (later, Riley would think that that was where it started going downhill).

So she turned to Farkle, still holding Maya's hand, and started up a conversation they'd been having over the last couple of days, about the SAGA committee doing something to raise money for an LGBTQ+ shelter. She didn't think anything of it, as she and Farkle traded ideas and joked about sugar-filled muffins (she'd long since put aside any grudge she might have had over that).

She suggested he come over for dinner on Wednesday, so that they could make official plans (she also invited him over for dinner because she knew that, otherwise, he'd be eating dinner alone, likely on his bed, because his dad was in Japan for business and his mom was on a Caribbean spa-cruise). He agreed enthusiastically, and Maya looked up from her drawing to let Riley know that she was eating with Shawn and her mom that night (Maya, Shawn and Katy all came 'round on Fridays, but Riley had been seeing less of Maya- not that she was sad that Maya had a happy family now). Riley had nodded and pressed a kiss to her cheek {she hadn't noticed Lucas's look of worry at the ideas of only Farkle going to Riley's. If only he knew how much time the two of them spent together}.

Lucas was a really good boyfriend, and a good guy, but he could sometimes get jealous.

But then the bell rang, and Riley didn't notice that Lucas was worried, wasn't given the chance to assuage his fears- after all, as far as both she and Farkle were concerned, there was nothing of a romantic nature between them {except latent feelings that he didn't remember, and a deep gratitude on her part, for the stars, and for keeping her secrets, and maybe a friendship that went so deep that it could one day bubble into something more, if she weren't with Lucas and he wasn't with Smackle}.

After History, Riley went to the Art Theory class to set up for the SAGA meeting (really, that just meant pinning up the flag and placing the chairs in a circle). She was blasting Nine In The Afternoon, and when Farkle grabbed her and pulled her into a dance, she just went with it, laughing.

After History, Lucas allowed his face to crack. He liked Riley, really and truly (it was always Riley). And he'd never been there for her SAGA committee, even though he should have been. So after History, Lucas went to Maya and begged her to ditch Art Club with him, just for a day, and to go to SAGA instead. Maya agreed with grace but insisted that they first go to Art Club and let them know where they would be.

That was how Maya and Lucas walked into the Art Theory Class at 3:15, looking around at the collected members of SAGA, who had all already taken their seats. Most of them, Lucas didn't recognise, but he did know Thor Benward and his two girlfriends (Nikki and… Francesca?). It had been the scandal that shook the school when everyone figured out he was dating both of them, but no one said anything to their faces. And yeah, he'd known that they were kind of Riley's friends, now, but he didn't realise that they were regularly attending her committee.

Their entrance brought all conversation to a halt. Farkle stared with wide eyes, and Thor frowned slightly, and Zay watched Riley quietly. Everyone in the room was waiting on her reaction {she'd once brought up that she was sad that Lucas and Maya had never attended a meeting- even though she'd quickly rushed to correct herself, saying that she knew that they had other commitments and didn't hold that against them at all}. But Riley, sweet Riley, burst into a beaming smile and welcomed them into the room, bounding over to pull her best friend and her boyfriend into a hug.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're here," she babbled, rushing across the room to set up two extra chairs. "And it's so perfect! Our topic today is how did you know, which- I think- is an excellent entry topic, especially for allies, because it's such a great way to understand the mind of the community better!"

Maya and Lucas took their seats quietly, by comparison, even as they quietly spoke about the other members in the room, wondering at Emma's hair and Noah's eyeliner.

Riley called the meeting to order, asking them to introduce themselves as everyone else in SAGA did and looked at Maya with pleading eyes, asking her to oblige.

"Uh, well, I'm Maya Hart. I'm a girl, and an ally, I guess?" she looked up at Riley, who smiled encouragingly, "I, uh, I like to paint."

Maya knocked Lucas with her shoulder as if tagging him in. They exchanged a soft smile. After all, this was what their friendship (and, for a brief period, their relationship) was made of: teasing and pushing and toeing the line. Lucas smirked and looked around the room, struggling to find a starting point.

"I'm Lucas Friar. I'm a guy and an ally. I'm dating Riley." Farkle subtly raised an eyebrow, questioning the validity of the 'fact' that everyone knew. But no one said anything, and Riley grinned again, overjoyed that her best friend and boyfriend were finally taking an interest.

An awkward silence fell over the room. It didn't happen often, but sometimes when a new member joined, there were a couple moments like this as everyone tried to acclimatise to the new dynamics. But it generally only happened once or twice and then everyone fell back into a comfortable pattern.

Luckily for them, Heather spoke up, starting softly, but growing in confidence.

"Okay so, for me it was like- I just… always knew. My mom is bi, and she's pretty actively involved in the community- she works at a centre for at-risk LGBT+ youth and everything. And, uh, I started insisting from a pretty young age that I wanted to be called Heather, like my aunt. I don't know, I just thought it was the coolest name, I guess. So I started seeing a gender therapist- I'm still seeing her, she's great- and we came to the conclusion that I was transgender… probably around six? I mean, I'd been dressing as a girl and using the name Heather for longer, but 'cause it's still officially a "mental disorder"-" her lip curled in a way that clearly showed what she thought of that, and she wasn't the only one in the room. "They want to be careful before giving any kind of diagnosis."

She broke off, her mind somewhere else entirely, and Noah gently cleared his throat to bring her back. "So for me, there was no moment of realisation. I grew up with it. It just was." Mila put a hand on her shoulder, and Zay grabbed her hand, and they both smiled at her.

"Thank you for telling us that," Riley said, "that was really brave."

Noah spoke next, confident from the get-go.

"I mean, it wasn't something I just knew or anything. But I - we" he corrected himself when his sister shot him a mock-offended glance, "have this uncle, who lives in South Africa, right. And he's gay too. But we didn't meet him till we were like, six, and before that, it just wasn't a factor or anything. But then, like two weeks before we're about to meet him, our dad's like 'Son, you do know that Uncle Quentin's gay, right?' and I didn't even know what gay meant, so I go 'Uh, yeah' and just leave it, 'cause I was six and didn't care. But then we're going to pick up Uncle Quentin from the airport, and he gets off the plane with his husband and I stood there in all my six-year-old glory like what. And Nikki hisses at me from my left 'he's gay, dumbass. That means that he likes boys the way other boys like girls' and something switched on and I was like- that's me too."

He shrugged. "After that, it was just a thing. Mom and dad weren't upset or anything, when I told them, and I got my first boyfriend when I was sixteen. It only lasted for two weeks," he informed them wryly, "but still."

"For me, it was the opposite," Riley started, looking between Lucas and Maya. She'd told Farkle all of this before when they were setting up for the first SAGA meeting. "I have a ton of LGBTQ+ relatives. Like, my dad's older brother and his partner explained it all to me when I was pretty young, and his best friend alternated between having boyfriends and girlfriends all the time I knew him. My other uncle came out as pan last year. But for me, I took forever to figure it out. Until I was…fourteen, I identified as completely straight. An ally of the LGBTQ+ community, but straight nonetheless." She took a deep breath. "Around that time, I started having a bit of a crush on a couple of girls, but I never really noticed it as anything more than platonic. I just thought that I really admired those girls." Titters went around the room, and Francesca and Emma and Mila all acknowledged that feeling.

"I only really figured it out this year, actually. I spent more time online, reading about LGBTQ+ stuff and feminist literature and so on, and I actually remember that my uncle had sent me this link to an LGBTQ+ blog, and when the author was describing first figuring out that she had a crush on a girl, but also liked guys the same way, that was when it finally clicked for me that I was probably bisexual." She ran a hand through her hair and Maya smiled at her encouragingly, and Farkle knocked her with his shoulder, and all was good.

Except.

"See, I don't get that though," Lucas began, and Riley smiled encouragingly. That he was participating made her so happy that she was blinded to his frown, to the way that Zay eyed him cautiously{the south had left certain ideas in their heads, and while neither could be said to be blatantly homophobic, they both had impressions that were definitely wrong. After the first SAGA meeting, Zay had started reading, trying to learn where his education had steered him wrong. He'd forgotten that Lucas the Good might have the same ideas}.

"Isn't it selfish-" he began, missing the way Nikki, Thor and Francesca grabbed each other's hands, all having sat through being called selfish before, missing the way Farkle's face went stony and the way Ashley tensed. Missing how Riley's smile froze and her eyes stuck on him, silently pleading for… something. Anything. "Isn't it selfish to like both? Like, I don't understand it. Does that mean you're going to cheat on me?"

Riley shook her head softly, beginning an explanation, "It's not like that. It's more like… you know how, even though you're in a relationship, you can still find other girls attractive?" She raised her eyebrows, daring him to deny it, eyes unintentionally flickering over to Maya. "That's completely normal. So with bisexuals, it's like that. It's like, you can find men and women attractive, but you choose to be faithful to your partner." She placed her hand on his and breathed an inaudible sigh of relief when he didn't pull away. But his frown just deepened.

"Riles" she bit her tongue, praying that she wouldn't snap only Maya and Farkle can call me that "I just think it's a bit unfair. Like, it doesn't make sense. How can you like girls and boys?" By this point, every eye in the room was riveted on him, and when Farkle tried to speak, he just spoke over his friend, "I thought that this club was something you had to do for like, Shawn and Josh, and yourself, I guess. I just thought that you wanted a place to feel like you weren't innocent or something, I don't know. And I wanted to support you in that- I still do, really. But I just- Riley, you're being selfish. How will I ever know that you're committed to me?"

Her left hand clenched into a fist, nails digging into her palm, even as her right hand reached for his.

"Faith, Lucas, and communication. Just like in every relationship." She lifted his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, but he shook his head and pulled from her grasp, standing up, "Riley. I love you and support you, but I just." He glanced wildly around the room, trying to find the right words, "How can I know that you're mine if you're here, with people like you, and you might end up liking one of them more than you like me?"

Riley was standing too, now, and so were Farkle and Maya and Thor and Noah {likely defensive and ready to jump into action. Lucas would never hurt her, but they didn't know that}.

"Riley, I don't care if you're a lesbian, or whatever, but this-" he flung his hand out wildly, gesturing to the Art Theory room, "- this is just you trying to tear apart our relationship."

Riley flinched back as if burnt, cowering into Farkle's arms. Hurt shone through the tears in her eyes. How could he and he's right, you know he's right warred in her mind and she was frozen on the spot, unable to look away, unable to move, kept physically in place by mental struggles. The feeling of wrong that preceded her *attacks welled up in her throat but she pushed it back down, not here and not in front of everyone stronger than any fear or panic.

It was Emma who eventually broke the tension in the room, crossing the floor hand-in-hand with her girlfriend and both of them slinging their arms around Riley, leading her out with Farkle by her side.

{ "You're a complete idiot, Lucas Friar," said Francesca when she was sure they were out of earshot, " You have this amazing, kind, beautiful girlfriend who fought for you, and you can't see what you're doing to her by saying that shit. Get yourself a fucking brain."}


They'd walked to Topanga's, and Emma had ordered her the biggest goddamn milkshake Riley had seen in her life (she worked at Topanga's and didn't know they served milkshakes that big). She started telling a story about her twelve-year-old self's boyfriend's reaction when she'd kissed Mila in a round of spin-the-bottle (a twelve-year-old's kiss wasn't much, but she'd definitely broken it off with the boy after that, even though they'd been going out a full six weeks, or forever in middle school time).

And, somehow, before Riley knew it, it was half past six and the sky was dark, and she'd finished her milkshake and was resting her head on Farkle's shoulder, tears of laughter streaming down everyone's faces.

And a tiny, tiny part of Riley imagined what it would be like if this was a double date if instead of high fiving him she could lean up and press a kiss to Farkle's cheek when he made a bad pun. And that tiny, tiny part of Riley loved what it saw, and how it felt.

But that tiny, tiny part of Riley's heart sank when it saw the notification on Farkle's phone.

13 texts from Smackle💖🔬

Because, even in the warmth of Topanga's even in one of the best moments in her high school career yet, commitments followed them.

And even that tiny part of Riley would never betray her friends like that.

In spite of all of that, the tiny part of Riley that was sat there by the fire, curled up against Farkle, laughing and happy, stored the memory away as what a good date should feel like.