Sorry I Couldn't be Better 22- The Hero
I'm back! And back at school. Get to see my awesome best friend and such. The holiday was kinda hectic and I didn't write nearly as much as I wanted to. And I've been adjusting to the new school year and sneakily writing this in studies. Heh
Thanks to…
Gemmy11: Here you go! Better late than never right…this was so late I'm sorry
Freyja Reinhardt: Ah I'm glad you like it. I try to find each character and illness that suits them but at the same time not one that identifies them. Hope you enjoy part of Kid's backstory here
Mjus: It's ok. And yes I did, Maka and Kid are both alike and how they are is revealed down below. And I like to write Maka making gradual progress because it's not always some speedy thing. Both I guess? A two week holiday about an hour and a half away from home, probably less. And we had a massive wolf spider in our recycling bin. Freaked me out.
Everything will perish one day: I'm glad to hear that! You're welcome
angelpal4231: Ah yay! Thankyou! I hope this chapter is even more epic!
Vicecreama31: Sorry about the cliffy and the wait. Hope this makes up for it
WhenTheCherryBlossomsFall: Ah sorry, it was just asking to be cut off there
spamcakes: Eep sorry
S1T2A3RA: Ahhhh shucks. Thank you so much. I'm so happy that you enjoy this story so much
CapturedInAPolaroid: Ahhh so many loves, thank you *bows down* I am not worthy. Probably hints of romance, maybe a bit more depending on where the story goes
HiCrazyCow: Ah I'm smiling like crazy. I am not worthy of this praise. Thankyou so much! I hope I get to explore all the character's pasts.
Person: That he did. Sorry this update took forever
Lost Echo: I'm sure you can do it! Ah and now I'm so happy which is also cheesy but your reviews are so lovely and nice!
youcouldnevercontrolme: Thankyou! This took forever, sorry
CharaHoney-Chan: Wow I actually hadn't thought of that! Thanks for the idea
Tenshoru: Glad you like! I'm not sure how it will end but that is definitely being considered. And thankyou for all your lovely reviews!
Ilovefood101: Awww thanks! Hope you enjoy this update
heather: Yeah, I kinda brushed the surface with what my teacher was saying but basically, it was about how we are lazy and don't do anything and such which made me sit back and think about how selfish and lazy I was. Sure, some of my friends were like 'eurgh get over it' which honestly made it worse. Yes, I probably have low self-esteem but what the teacher said was also adding more stuff to the big pile of 'reason's I'm depressed' that I carry around. Hope that clears things up and didn't come out rude.
KarmaHope: Animorphs is just the best! I get excited whenever I find one in a second hand book store for like, a dollar.
AND I LOVE ALL WHO FAVOURITE, FOLLOW, DO BOTH OR JUST READ! GO YOU GUYS!
Disclaimer: La dee da, Soul Eater does not belong in the hands of this girl
"What?" Maka shrieked. "Why me? How can I help Kid?"
"You did it before." Soul shot back. "And I can't do this alone!"
"I can't," Maka shook her head firmly. "I can't help Kid. I'm sorry."
"No this isn't about what you can't do, this is about Kid!" Soul shouted. "Don't be so selfish!"
"Selfish!" Shrieked Maka. "I am not selfish. As if I could be in a home with nothing!"
"That makes no sense." Soul snapped. "Please Maka!"
"I can't!" Maka cried. "I can't Soul, can you not understand this? You can't ask me to do this because I know I can't."
"Oh my god Maka!" Soul shouted. "I don't know what to do. I'm tired, scared and confused and I honestly don't know what to do. Right now, I'm relying on what I feel is right. This could be wrong but right now, Kid needs us. Please, you didn't see him. I did."
You can't do it Maka…
What?
You'll fail, just like always
Fail?
Yes. Fail in earning love from your parents, fail in dying, fail in helping this boy
You don't know that
Yes, I do
No
Go ahead. Prove me right. Leave the poor boy alone
"Maka?" Soul cocked his head to the side. "Are…you alright?"
"Tell me Soul!" Maka demanded. "Tell me everything!"
"I have to make this quick." Soul said as he got comfortable. "I'm not going to scratch the surface but I'm not going to the bottom of the ocean either. And after this is over, you can't tell Kid I told you. Either he tells you or he doesn't. I can talk to him about it but right now, that's not what we need to worry about."
Maka still couldn't believe she was doing this. Learning about Kid's mysterious past so that she could help the panicking boy. And at any second, a lock down could take place.
All because of this Asura, this wild card. This strange boy who sent Kid into a panic.
"Kid was not born under the best circumstances." Soul began. "His parents already had a son, the golden child. Kid was, to be frank, an accident. A slight slip up. They kept him however and then nine months later Kid was born. It was what happened in these nine months that caused him to be basically cursed."
"Cursed?" Maka interrupted. Then she saw Soul's expression. "Oh right, not literally. Sorry."
"In the nine months, the other son was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe paranoia. And that is an understatement. He feared everything and everyone. It was sudden, just came out of nowhere. He'd been the golden child like I said, perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect everything. And then all this. Two weeks before Kid was born, he was admitted to a mental hospital like this one."
"What's this got to do with Kid?" Maka asked, impatient suddenly. Whilst Soul babbled on, Kid was probably getting more and more worked up. Soul held up a hand as if to say 'hang on.'
"His mother went hysterical with grief, stupid idiot." Soul continued. "She was devastated that she didn't have a perfect son to show off at dinner parties, to brag about at country club. Kid wasn't due for another month and a half but she went into labour early and he was around four weeks early. His mother left the family five weeks after Kid's birth, leaving him with his father and his brother who was home visiting."
"So what happened?" Maka asked.
"For a while having a baby brother to care for helped Kid's brother. So Kid's father was happy, he thought his first born son was better." Soul carried on. "But then he relapsed and was sent back to his hospital, not to be released up to this very moment."
"He's still in there?" Maka asked.
"He's still in there." Soul confirmed. "And when he went back, that's when Kid's father got violent. Really violent. He couldn't deal with Kid, couldn't deal with his OCD. Basically his dad lost the plot and took it out on Kid. One night Kid was rushed to a hospital in a critical condition. He was then diagnosed with severe OCD, insomnia, nightmare disorder and depression. And he was sent here, around the same time I was. And here we are."
"That's it?" Maka asked after a moment of silence had passed.
"Pretty much." Soul sighed. "Just the basic story really. Now come on." He got to his feet. "We have to go see Kid."
But then, so sudden that Maka gave a small scream, a siren stared blaring. It rose and fell, getting louder and louder. And then the voice came, over the siren.
"We are now in lock down. All staff and patients must proceed to the ground floor hall by use of stairs only. I repeat we are in lock down. All patients must stay with their floor staff."
"Crap," Soul cursed. "This puts a wrench in the plan." He helped Maka to her feet and opened the room of her door, peering out into the corridor. He then dragged the depressed teen out before she had a chance to even grab anything."
"S-Soul, Maka," Tsubaki ran up, her hair down for once, dressed in a cute nighty. "Come o-on, we're meeting at the s-stairs. Nygus and S-Sid are rounding everyone else u-up." She turned and headed in the direction of the stairs, Maka moving to follow after her. Soul pulled her back.
"We have to find Kid." He explained, whispering so that Tsubaki couldn't hear what he was saying.
"Soul we can't." Maka hissed back. "The staff will take care of him. We have to get down to the hall. There's an insane teen on the loose."
"Yeah I know." Soul snapped. "Kid's brother."
Maka sat in the gym, staring around at the four groups surrounding her group. There was little to no interaction between the different floors. Staff walked around, keeping their patients in check. They spoke occasionally in their radios and refused to tell anyone what was going on.
Maka shifted uncomfortably, feeling a bit defenceless being in her pyjamas with her hair down. Everyone else was dressed similarly however so that made her feel a bit better. She was huddled up next to Liz with Tsubaki on the other side and Patty across from her. Soul was ignoring her, BlackStar was sleeping and Kid was obviously somewhere else. Thunder and Fire were napping on Kilik's lap, Harvar and Ox were playing some handclapping game, Tami was brushing Jacqueline's hair absently and Crona and Luke were both sitting alone.
No one was really talking. The little kids from floor one were sleeping or dozing and so were most of floor two. Flour three seemed mostly awake and floor five had not one person sleeping. Since they were the people sharing a floor with the escaped Asura, they were obviously more shaken up than most.
Maka let her eyes wander, finally latching onto the people of floor three. She spotted the weird boy Tobias there, frowning as a shorter guy attempted to braid his hair. She looked away quickly. To be honest, he freaked her out. She turned over to floor five, recognizing the people there. One of them, Justin, met her gaze and pulled a face. She gave a weak smile back, adding a shrug because he might think she was being insensitive.
Apparently, Justin thought this was an invitation and he got up, speaking quickly to Blair before walking over to sit close to Maka. Liz stared at him in shock but Patty just waved cheerfully. Tsubaki blushed and looked away.
"Where's Kid?" Justin asked curiously.
"He's a bit freaked out about Asura." Maka said carefully. "I mean you were there when…" She trailed off, hoping he knew what she was talking about. He nodded.
"When what happened?" Liz broke in. Maka realised with a start that the paranoid teen had no idea about Kid's little breakdown.
"He had a…breakdown when we were doing activities with floor five." Maka was only brushing the surface but she didn't want to alarm Liz or give too much away about Kid. Soul had sworn her to secrecy but now…it looked like she'd learnt about Kid for nothing. She couldn't get to him to calm him down.
Was Kid still freaking out? Maybe he'd stopped. The way Soul had spoken suggested he was in a bad state but perhaps he'd gotten tired and fallen asleep.
Nightmare disorder
Soul's words floated back to her. Okay scratch that idea. But still, he could have at least stopped…panicking.
Maka snuck a glance over at Soul, ignoring the conversation that Liz and Justin had struck up. It was probably about music or Liz demanding to know who he was and what he wanted from her. The white haired boy was sitting by himself, fidgeting and tapping. He looked pale.
"Excuse me," she got up and walked the short distance over to Soul. If he was going to ignore her then fine. She would just force him to talk to her.
"Are you okay?" Was the first thing that slipped out however. Soul looked awful.
"No," Soul sighed, tapping the floor in a seemingly random pattern. "Don't give me that look." He snapped as Maka bit her lip.
"Well sorry," she shot back, finding herself surprised by the aggressive tone she put behind the words. It was like Soul just rubbed her the wrong way sometimes.
"Urgh forget it," Soul rubbed his eyes. "Azusa won't tell me anything about Kid."
"Not even where he is." Maka said in surprise.
"Well she thinks I'm going to go find him." Soul gave a weak grin. "And she's right."
"What if I asked?" Maka suggested, feeling a pang somewhere deep within her. If she was in the same state as Kid right now, would Soul and the others try to find her? Would they care that much?
"Could work," Soul shrugged. "Except you're over here talking to me."
"Well if I left you alone for a while, or got Liz to ask?" Maka glanced over at the teen who was now chatting happily to Justin.
"She is pretty close with Kid." Soul groaned after saying this, tugging at his hair. "Why is everything so hard? Can't something go right for us, just once? Are any of us ever going to be happy?"
Well Maka certainly isn't
What?
You're never going happy
W-why not?
Because you don't deserve it. Poor little you
Why?
Because you're pathetic
Maka took a deep breath, not bothering to 'reply.'
"I don't know Soul," She muttered, mirroring the boy and rubbing her eyes. She was so tired and when she glanced around, it looked like most of the people in the room were asleep, the staff bringing out blankets and pillows for them.
Azusa was just approaching them but she wasn't holding any blankets or pillows for them. She crouched down, looking stressed and tired despite, a big chance from her usual cool and collected expression.
"Do you really think you can help Kid?" She asked wearily. "I want the truth, not a biased answer because you want to help him when it turns out you can't help him."
Soul looked at Maka. She frowned. Yes, she wanted to help Kid. He was a true friend, a phrase she'd never gotten to use before. He was quirky, funny and compassionate.
And right now, he was none of these. He was hysterical, panicking, not in the right state of mind. And she had the chance to calm him down.
But could she? Could she really be brave enough, find strength she'd never had and use it? Now this was where Maka was unsure. She wanted to say yes, so badly but when it came right down to it, she didn't know.
But can't you try?
The nice voice!
You'll never know if you don't
But if she doesn't, then there's no harm done
You don't know that
Don't I?
"No," Maka stood up. "You don't know." She turned to grin at Soul, feeling better then she had in years. "Let's do this!"
Maka, in all honesty, had expected her new found courage to drain away as they walked to where Kid was, a small room on the first floor. However, she could feel it bubbling up in her and she couldn't help but feel a wave of excitement rush through her.
She wasn't…sad. Or annoyed, or angry or anything. She didn't feel empty. Right now, she felt calm, like they describe great warrior's moments before battles. She tried to imagine herself fighting. What kind of weapon would she use? A sword…or maybe a scythe. That would look awesome.
There was a cry from up ahead and she nearly froze. That had sounded alarmingly like Kid. The excitement and calmness rushed away leaving behind a pitiful amount of courage and now…fear.
Oh god what was she thinking? She couldn't do this. She was just some depressed teen who couldn't get her parents to love her, couldn't make friends basically her whole life. She was just a stupid girl who couldn't do anything!
"Maka," Soul whispered. "Sorry for…sorry for dragging you into this."
"It's…" Maka paused. What was it? Was it okay? Was it okay that her hands were trembling like crazy now? Not really. Was it okay that she was going in with no plan? Probably not. Was it okay that her courage was slowly seeping away? Of course not.
But was it okay that she was going to help a friend?
Definitely.
Where was he?
Why was he here?
Where was here?
A sound!
Murderer? Thief? What was it?
Run…somewhere else from here
Who's talking?
Not listening, not listening
They have to go away
Another sound!
Closer, it's getting closer
No! Can't go back. Can't go back
Where was back?
Where was here?
Where was he?
What's going on?
He's scared. Someone help!
Dad! Mum! Help!
He's being chased! It's the monsters!
They're back!
Not listening, not listening
He can't listen
He has to get out of here
Where was he?
What was he doing here?
Where was here?
"Stop!" A cry came out and Azusa sighed, the joints in her fingers clicking as she curled them up.
"That was Kid as you probably know." She said wearily. "He's in there with Sid and a doctor from floor three. Nothing's working. This is a last resort. If you fail, we'll resort to sedation and a higher dosage of meds."
Maka glanced over at Soul. Sedation…she knew enough to know that probably wouldn't go down well with the grumpy teen. He just shrugged though and stepped forward. Maka stuck close to him. She didn't know what she was expecting.
Azusa knocked on the door firmly and it swung open almost instantly. An unfamiliar lady, obviously the third floor doctor stared out at them, her eyes scanning Soul and Maka before flying back to Azusa.
"This is them?" She remarked, sounding a bit flustered. "Just, go in. He's not kicking any more. In fact…" She paused as there came a long cry. "Just, don't try to set him off even more."
Soul pushed past Azusa and the doctor and was gone into the room before Maka had even started moving. She shivered. Suddenly her feet were frozen. She couldn't move. She couldn't do this.
Told you, told you
What should she do? Let the voice win? Or fight, try, help.
"Maka?" Soul called. "Get in here!"
She took a breath and stepped forward into the room.
It was bad.
Really bad.
Not that Maka was a doctor or a therapist or anything but a screaming boy with skin scratched raw, kicking and crying and refusing to listen to anyone can be seen as bad by anyone.
This was true pain. This was…this was what got people's attention. Not Maka with her petty whining and stupid moping.
Get a hold of yourself Maka. There will be time to be upset later
So much for having a nice voice
Yes nice. But also firm
"Kid, Kid it's me." Soul's calm voice brought her back to present. "Can you stop screaming, I need you to do that. Can you? For me?"
"NO!" Kid screeched. "Coming! He's coming!"
"No he's not," Soul said soothingly, hands held out to make him seem less threatening, revealing yet another side to the mysterious white haired boy.
"Not fair, not fair." Kid whispered, his loud voice dropping alarmingly as he gabbled nonsense. "Stop it, not fair, not my fault."
"Of course it's not your fault." Soul said reassuringly.
"Can't do this, don't want to do this." Kid cried. "It hurts, it's hard, it hurts, I'm in pain."
"Kid," Maka whispered, crouching down near him.
"Not real….who are you? Your hair, not symmetrical." Kid mumbled, rocking back and forth and staring at her.
"Kid it's me Maka, you told me once you wanted to be friends. You've helped me."
"Help, help, don't need help." Kid sang softly. Maka nearly recoiled. This wasn't the Kid she knew. This was an entirely different person. It was like…he was so affected by his brother escaping that he'd lost the identity he'd had before.
Oh god she was going to be sick. This was too much. So far nothing this bad had happened. Those books about people in mental asylums, she'd assumed there'd been exaggeration to sell more copies.
"Kid…" She choked out. "You know you're safe here right?"
"No where's safe?" Kid seemed to be questioning.
"Kid, it's me, Maka. I'm your friend. You like to fix my hair. You're fourteen years old. You build food towers with Patty sometimes. You and Soul are best friends. You dress smartly. And you are stronger than this!"
It was probably rude to say that Maka felt like a hero at the end of the book, saving the day at the last minute.
"I know it hurts Kid because I go through that pain, Soul goes through that pain, we all go through that pain. And it's hard. We get told to suck it up, to not make such a big deal out of it. But we deserve to be able to be scared sometimes. But we also need to know when to calm down. I don't know if you realise this Kid but you're safe here. No one's going to hurt you again."
"Yeah," Soul crouched down. "You're safe here, you've always been safe here and right now, you can do this. You can come back. You don't have to be afraid anymore."
"Not…afraid," Kid sighed. "Maybe…" He seemed calmer now, his eyes slipping closed as though the time was finally catching up with him. "Safe with you and Maka." He grinned. "Sorry,"
Sid rushed in to catch Kid as he fell asleep, scooping him up.
"Thank you," He said gruffly. "We'll take care of him now. You two need to return to the main gym."
Soul stood up, brushing down his pants and turning to reach his hand out to Maka.
The teen took one look at it and burst into tears.
I HATE THIS CHAPTER! Well not really, just kinda. Also I'm so into Haikyuu right now and I feel like its writing style is rubbing off on me.
*flies away to sleep*
PS Please review but obviously if you don't want to, that's ok
