Sorry I Couldn't be Better 23- Mustn't Tell

Another long time. Like really long time. I am so sorry. Like seriously, I hate how long this took. I hate myself for taking so long. I wanted to write so badly but it wouldn't come. I had serious writer's block, a big problem at school and another fanfiction I've been working on. Then I had a dream of three years crushed because I wasn't good enough (which was jusssssst greatttttt for my self-esteem) and two performances to rehearse for (had my year 11 performance, we were pregnant teens in a home in the 1950's in Australia, I was a British migrant) plus a trip to Cambodia to plan for as well. Please don't hate me…or hate me, I deserve it. Seriously, lay it on me.

Okay so I'm gonna reply to guest reviews here and then I'll reply to anyone with an account over PM or it will seriously take forever. I really just wanna get this chapter up.

Dootdoot: I'm really glad that this story is helping you in a way. I'm sorry for how long this took and I hope you feel better!
MaziiRiverKeehl:
Ah thankyou so much! That really means a lot. I cannot apologise enough for the slow update
AllitheNinja: Ah glad you enjoyed. Your review is so nice and made me happy…this chapter took too long I'm sorry
Lexosaurus: Thanks! I guess I just didn't think it was the best I'd written
Lost Echo: Hello! I am so sorry this took so long. I hope your parents let you get an account. Thanks for enjoying the chapter. And sorry the next chapter didn't come out in two weeks.
Guest who reviewed 17th of February: Asura is lurking around…I guess. Glad you liked!
ObsessiveFangirl: Ah the next chapter took so long *runs away* Sorry
Nezzball: Glad you like the way I incorporated characters, it's always fun to fit them in
Guest who reviewed Apirl 24th: The update took so long *cries* I am so ashamed. Sorry
Marcy: Hopefully this chapter answers your question

But thank you so much to all of you who reviewed and favourited and followed or even just hung back and read. Love you all.

And a special thank you to some PMs I got, they made me feel a lot better than I had been feeling.

And nope, I don't own Soul Eater


"We may still have to up his dosage of meds."

Maka blinked wearily, trying to force her tired eyes open. Who was talking? Where was she?

"We can't have him being so dependent on other people."

Have who? She tried to force her eyes open again, bracing herself for sudden light only to be met with darkness. This only added to her confusion.

"Poor boy. Have they found the other one?"

The other one? Asura? Kid? Is that who they were talking about?

"No. It's weird. There can't be too many places that he can hide."

So the hospital was still in lock down. But this wasn't the gym right? They would have at least some light and some people would be awake. Besides, this sort of information wouldn't be discussed there. Right?

"He must be moving."

Maka shuddered. Asura could be right outside the door, listening in.

"The door is locked right?"

"Of course,"

"And how strong is he?"

"Not very, I'd imagine."

There was someone lying next to Maka. This confused her. What was going on?

"Maka," a voice whispered. The teen nearly screamed but she held it in, biting her lip instead.

"What?" She hissed despite not knowing who she was talking to.

"Oh good, you're awake," the voice said, light and breathy. Maka shifted. She was obviously lying next to the person who was talking. Whatever she was lying on was uncomfortable, soft at first but she could feel her back digging into something hard.

"Is that you Soul?" She guessed, trying to keep quiet as the conversation between the two people went on.

"Yes," he whispered back.

"Do you hear those footsteps?"

"Oh stop being such a baby."

"Where's Kid?" Maka asked, remembering what had happened with a jolt.

"Dunno," Soul hissed back. "We're still in this dumb room. I can't remember if there was a couch or anything in here."

"So we both fell asleep?" Maka searched her memory but everything seemed blank after she'd started crying.

"You did," Soul said flatly. "You cried until you fell asleep. I pretended to be tired too or they were going to take me back to the hall."

"Why is it so dark in here?" Maka complained, remembering at the last second to keep her voice down.

"Precaution," Soul muttered. "So that Asura doesn't know people are in here." He paused for a moment. "Or something like that."

"So no light at all?" Maka questioned sarcastically. It was literally pitch black in the room.

"Apparently not," Soul sighed.

"It's nearly six in the morning."

"Just how long will they have to stay in the gym?"

"If they know we're awake, will they take us back to the gym?" Maka asked.

"Dunno…" Soul trailed off. "I mean surely they can't risk taking us outside. Asura could be anywhere. He gets violent apparently. It's his way of dealing with things."

"Hey, you kids awake?"

"Yes," Maka said before Soul could stop her. "What's going on?"

There was a moment before a dull light began to shine, illuminating two young ladies, one holding a phone which was letting off the light.

"It's nearly six," the lady holding the phone spoke, obviously assuming that Maka and Soul hadn't heard their conversation. "They can't find A…they can't find the escapee. We're going to be stuck in here for a while."

Maka saw Soul nod beside her and turned awkwardly, scanning the small room in an attempt to find Kid…if he was there. She spotted a bundled up lump on a smallish couch, moving slightly.

Kid!

"So just keep quiet and we'll work everything out." The second lady was saying when Maka tuned back into the conversation. "We can't leave this room right now."

"How's Kid?" Soul asked when it became apparent that the two women had nothing else to say.

"Sleeping as you can see," The woman with the phone gestured to the couch. "He fell asleep almost immediately after you calmed him down." Kid must have been so exhausted, if he wasn't having nightmares.

Soul climbed to his feet, moving stiffly and perched on the edge of the couch. Once there, he rested his head in his hands. Maka watched, feeling a stab of pity for the white haired boy. It had been a tough day but Soul had been affected the most. He had tirelessly worked to help Kid, putting himself last and he was still pushing himself.

Why couldn't she be that strong? Why did she always fall short? Had she really helped Kid? Or had something else calmed him down?

Maka felt so tired at the moment that she didn't know what emotions to feel. Was she angry? Or upset? Happy? Definitely not that one.

Were hospitals always like this? Was this really the best place for her to be right now?

Watching Soul and Kid, she felt like an intruder on their relationship. They seemed very close, obviously brought together through the hardships they faced. Was it really alright for her to be friends with them?

Why was she doubting this now though? Hadn't she decided that she wanted to be their friend? Didn't she want to be with them?

That's what you decided. Rude little girl, you never thought of them

Was that true? Had she nosed her way into their friendship group?

Another insecurity Maka? Really?

Was she destined to live her entire life fretting about everything she did? Maybe she should talk to Marie about it. If this drama was ever over. For now, she was trapped in this small room.

Time dragged on and Maka began to feel hot. The room was stifling. Kid slept on, unaware of Soul sitting at the end of the couch and Maka in a ball near the head of it. She felt uncomfortable, like the walls were closing in on her. She needed to get out of here now! When would the all clear be given?

"Soul?" Maka asked carefully. "Do you think we'll get out of here soon?"

"I…uh…" Soul ended up shaking his head helplessly like he couldn't answer her properly. Maka gave him a small smile and turned away.

"I'm sure it'll be soon sweetie." One of the ladies said. At that moment, her phone vibrated in her hand and the light vanished as she answered it. Maka flinched at the sudden darkness.

"Contained to the fifth floor? We're taking them back? Right, of course. I'll meet you at the hall." She said crisply, a far different cry from how she'd been acting before. It was fascinating how people changed in the presence of their superiors.

"Up you two get." The other nurse said cheerily. "The escapee is confined to the fifth floor. You can go back to yours now. There's no way he can get out now."

"Well he escaped in the first place." Soul said drily. When Maka looked at him, the lights in the room now on, she was struck by how terrible he looked. The bags under his eyes were huge and his skin was a sickly white. He seemed nervous and jumpy, fidgeting with the end of Kid's blanket. His eyes scanned the room shiftily, often focusing on dark corners. This whole drama was really getting to him.

"What about Kid?" Maka risked asking once the four of them were gathered at the door. "You can't leave him here." The boy in question was still sleeping soundly.

The look on the nurse's faces indicated that they had completely forgotten about him.

"Ah right of course, do you mind waking him up? He'll have to come with us of course."

Soul was back at Kid's side in an instant, shaking the boy awake.

"Come on Kid, everything's alright now. We get to go back to our floor." Soul spoke quietly. Maka quickly looked away. Was it bad to want what they had, a relationship that not even time could wear away? She'd never ever had friends before. And now she was the closest she'd ever come to having some, she was even calling them her friends.

But did they feel the same way?


It was the day after all the drama had taken place. The fourth floor had spent the rest of the day listlessly playing games. Kim had rang Jacqueline and the two had chattered on for ages. Maka hadn't seen the shy girl so happy since Kim had left. Kid and Soul stuck together and Maka wasn't sure that she was welcome so she'd hung out with Tsubaki.

Now it was morning and Maka didn't want to get up. She couldn't bring herself to lift her legs up and off the bed. It wasn't like she felt bad. She just felt…nothing. It was like her mind was swamped with fog, dulling her senses and stealing her emotions. Everything was so hard. It would be so much easier to just do nothing. Even living was hard.

Footsteps thudded past her door. Everyone must be going to get breakfast.

Maka didn't move.

There was a loud knock at her door. "Come on Maka!" Liz yelled.

Maka didn't move.

There was a quiet knock at her door. "Maka are you alright?" Tsubaki asked shyly.

Maka didn't move.

There was a thudding at the door. "Come on Maka!" BlackStar whooped.

Maka didn't move.

There was a small tap at her door. "Maka it's me." Marie said softly. "May I come in?"

Maka didn't move.

The door creaked open allowing a slither of light to illuminate the room. Marie entered slowly, almost as if Maka was a bear in a cave waiting for the right moment to strike. The therapist finally arrived at the bed where the teen lay.

Maka didn't move.

"Things have been hard this past week haven't they Maka." Marie sat down on the edge of the bed. "But I promise it isn't always like this here."

"It's my fault." Maka whispered, half hoping that Marie wouldn't even hear her say it.

"You're fault?" But of course she heard it. "Maka what's made you think such a thing?"

"You just said it." Maka was fighting herself to force the words out. It hurt her, to put such an effort in. "You said things aren't usually like this. So things started going wrong when I came."

"Maka that's not true. In a place like this, of course things are going to go wrong. You can't blame these things on your presence." Marie said gently. "Before you came, we had just as many problems, if not more. There was the time BlackStar set the kitchen on fire. Or when Ox had a breakdown. Things like this are just a fact of life. We learn to overcome them and not just on our own. Together."

"I don't know the meaning of the word." Maka muttered bitterly.

"Ah," was all Marie said in reply to this. "You stay here for a second Maka. I need to go get someone." She left without another word.

Maka lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling, the room yet again absent of any light. She briefly thought of getting up and hiding from Marie but the prospect of effort seemed too much.

What was wrong with her now? This wasn't like her. She had always been the kind of girl to get things done quickly so that they wouldn't annoy you anymore. But now, she couldn't even bring herself to move.

The door creaked open again and yet again, the room was lit with light. Maka managed to turn her head and saw someone standing next to Marie.

"C-Crona?" Maka stammered in disbelief. The person in question flinched, moving to hide behind Marie.

"Marie I d-don't know how to d-deal with this." Crona whispered from behind the therapist's back.

"I just thought you and Maka might like to have a chat." Marie stepped aside, her back against the wall so Crona couldn't hide.

"B-but I don't know how t-to." Crona protested weakly. They took a step backwards and Maka felt a feeling run through her, the first one she'd felt all day.

Understanding.

She knew how Crona felt. Someone she just knew. They were scared and didn't know how to deal with their feelings so they hid to cope. Maka didn't physically hide but it was close enough. She locked her feelings away and tried to pretend that she didn't care. It was all the same in the end!

"Crona, we can talk if you like." Slowly but surely, Maka sat up. It was exhausting somehow but she did it. Crona shook their head.

"Can't," they whispered.

"Of course you can." Maka fought every muscle in her body, screaming on the inside, to say those words. She wasn't going to let her body shut down. She swore she saw Marie smile at this.

"Just for ten minutes Crona." The therapist said quickly. "That's all I promise. I'll be over in Tsubaki's room, okay? It's just down the corridor. Call me if you need anything." She disappeared, flicking on the light and shutting the door as she did.

Crona and Maka were left alone.

"Why don't you sit down Crona?" Maka offered after a moment, drawing her knees to her chest. Her hair was a mess, she hadn't gotten dressed yet and she didn't care.

"Is that a-allowed?" Crona didn't move from where they were standing.

"Yeah," Maka shook her head as if it could clear the fogginess from it. "Come on," she tapped the spot beside her. Crona took a tiny step before stopping.

"What d-do you want to talk about?" They were obviously stalling.

"Marie thought we should talk." Maka said after a brief thought. Her mind was slow and sluggish and half the time, she didn't even know if she was talking.

"Marie t-told me once she thinks we act the s-same." Crona stammered out. "During a s-session."

"Mmmm," Maka hummed quietly. "Crona…can I ask you why you're here?" It just…slipped out. The moment the words left her lips, Maka's head cleared. She wished she could take the words back before Crona heard them but it was too late. The pink haired teen's face crumpled.

"Didn't want to come here." They whispered as their eyes welled up with tears. "Didn't want to leave my room. She told me not to. Mustn't tell. Mustn't tell. I'm mummy's little angel."

"Crona I'm sorry," Maka heaved herself off the bed. She took a careful step towards them.

"I did as I was told, listened to you." Crona shook their head. "Mustn't tell. Mustn't tell. They came with flashing lights. Took me away. Then it was grey. Black to grey, black to grey to white. Came here. Grey to white. Black, grey then white. Here I came. Someone told. I didn't tell. But someone did. Was it you? Who told? Not supposed to leave. She said not to. I'm mummy's little angel." They fell to their knees. "You're Maka right? Don't know how to deal with you. She never taught me how to. Someone told."

"Crona," Maka knelt down so that she was facing them. "Crona do you…do you want to be my friend?" It was crazy but it was the best Maka could do. She didn't know how to calm Crona down. The last thing anyone on the floor needed was someone else breaking down, harsh as that sounded.

"Friend?" Crona kept their eyes on the ground, head bowed as if in shame. "Don't know how to. Mustn't tell. She mustn't tell me anything. Didn't. Didn't tell me anything."

Her? Their mum? What had she done to them? From what Maka could tell, she'd locked them away and kept them ignorant about most things. That was abuse. That was torture!

"Friend," Maka chose to repeat instead of voicing her thoughts. "I can teach you how it works." She held out a hand. "When you become friends with someone, you shake their hand." She reached out slowly and took their hand. When she received no protests, she slipped her hand into it and shook.

"Like that?" Crona muttered.

"Like that." Maka confirmed. "And then you formally introduce yourself."

"M-my name is Crona." Was all the pink haired teen could stammer out. But it was a huge step for them.

"Nice to meet you Crona." Maka smiled. "My name is Maka. I hope we can be friends."


Wes Evans scanned the pile of bills on his kitchen table, shifting aside a few to get to a rather think one. There was an unfamiliar logo stamped on it.

DMWA

Then his mind switched on. It was the hospital where he'd sent Soul. He knew the bills were covered by their parents though so why was he getting a letter from them. He was ashamed to admit that he'd practically forgotten about Soul.

He cared for his brother. That's why he'd sent him there. It wasn't because his brother scared him or upset his image. It would never be because of that.

"Wes?" His wife called from upstairs. "Are you coming to bed?"

"Of course darling," he called back. "I just have one last thing to deal with." Reaching for the intricately designed letter opener, he sliced open the envelope.

Soul E. Evans Progress Report

Dear Mr and Mrs Evans

This is a yearly progress report sent out to all parents and/or guardians of patients here at DMWA.

So why was he getting this? Wes quickly checked the envelope again.

It had been forwarded to him by his mum and dad. It was there in black and white. But…why?

He quickly read the report. Soul had been at DMWA for at least three years now right? But this report…his progress. It was near to nothing from what he could tell. He was still having nightmares and regular episodes. He was cold and harsh at times apparently.

Regards, Dr F Stein

Wes sighed, resting his head in his arms. It was then that he noticed the other note that had been encased in the envelope.

Wes

It's time you chipped in with paying for your brother's hospital fees. It was your idea to send him there and he's not getting any better apparently. The staff have suggested a home for people like him, apparently he's a lost cause. We're giving him two months and then we send him. You can pay for those two months.

That was it. His parents had just handed over Soul to him basically. He hadn't even seen his brother in three years.

Maybe…maybe he would go visit Soul. As long as no one knew where he was going, everything would be fine. It wasn't like he was that high profile. No one had bothered him since the news of his wife's pregnancy.

Well then he would do it. He would go and see Soul. Tomorrow! The sooner the better! His brother would probably be out of it, raving at random things and talking to nobody. That was what people with his illness were like…right?

But maybe he could try and build their broken relationship.

Well that's that. It took forever, I know you all hate me or have given up and I am so sorry. I cannot put into words how sorry I am.

If you feel up to it, drop me a review! Your choice either way.