Miss Independent
"Miss independent. Miss self-sufficient. Miss keep your distance. Miss unafraid. Miss out of my way. Miss don't let a man interfere, no. Miss on her own. Miss almost grown. Miss never let a man help her off her throne." - Kelly Clarkson, Miss Independent
Spring really was the perfect season, Tenten mused. The climate was ideal for training, and even the sweet scent of hydrangeas managed to poke through the odors of sweat, weapons polish, and upturned dirt. There were no hydrangeas in the fall.
She would never admit to Lee and Guy just how much she loved a good spring day for fear she would never hear the end of it.
Above her, the sky was clear and blue. The breeze rustled the leaves, and birds sang, darting across the horizon.
Below her, the grass was lush and green, pockmarked with weapons spent from her arsenal.
And on top of her prone form was Neji, claiming victory over their spar, a confident smirk splayed across his face.
He said nothing before settling into his reward - their reward - for a successful training session.
Neji kissed Tenten on her lips, her face, her jaw. She gasped and rolled her head to the side, exposing more of her neck.
She both loved and hated this part of their relationship.
Tenten hadn't truly realized the extent of her feelings for Neji until she'd almost lost him on the battlefield.
In everything he did, Neji was practical and diligent. Tenten was unsurprised that he approached love with the same careful dedication. Each part of her that Neji touched or kissed was with a purpose as if he'd deliberately planned out each caress beforehand. Even something as simple as holding hands seemed to be weighted with consideration.
Tenten loved it.
Neji somehow managed to transform his practical nature into intense bouts of passion that left Tenten's knees weak. He paid attention to what she liked, whether it was her favorite foods, training exercises, or places to kiss, Neji seemed to know it all. He studied her reactions, how she liked to be touched and where; quelling the parts of her that burned for his touch.
She was wholly and utterly consumed by him, and that was the problem.
Tenten felt any remaining tendrils of control slowly slip away. He was slowly stripping her bare of the walls she had built. Tenten hated the woman she became whenever Neji turned his attention to her.
She tried to resist the urge to be consumed, staring at a kunai sunk partway into the ground. It jutted out, the cool grey steel harsh against the lush green grass as Neji's hand started its journey under her skirt to cup her bottom.
The sound that Tenten made was something between a moan of pleasure and a frustrated grunt.
"Wait!" she gasped, surprising herself.
Neji stopped, pulling away from her neck to look down at her, brows wrinkled with concern.
"Is something wrong?"
Moments ago, Neji's voice had been low and dripping with desire. Now, it was lighter, speckled with concern. Tenten looked up at his perfect face. His jawline was somehow both sharp and soft. The crinkle in his brow would smooth away with the slightest press of her fingers. And his eyes told her all of his secrets. His emotions passed freely across them, but somehow only Tenten could pluck them out and give them a name.
Love. Worry. Desire.
She saw them all.
His hair tickled her cheek, and between the press of Neji's body against her own, Tenten could confirm the speck of desire she'd seen.
Everything about him was perfect. This moment was perfect.
The problem wasn't Neji; it never would be.
"Tenten?"
Her name on his lips made her entire body buzz. Her heart pounded unevenly, and she felt light-headed.
"I have a problem."
Tenten tried to state this as delicately as possible while guiding Neji's hand off of her bottom.
She saw a flash of anxiety before Neji sat back on his knees, giving her space.
"Did I do something wrong?"
Tenten's body felt heavy, like moving was more effort than it was worth. She stayed on her back, her legs open to him.
She managed to shake her head.
"No, you're amazing. Perfect even. Jerk."
A cocky smile flashed briefly across his face.
"What's bothering you?"
Tenten sighed, trying to find the right words to describe her struggle best. How could she continue on her own while feeling like she was obsessed?
"I've always thought one of the greatest weaknesses of my fellow kunoichi was their obsession with boys."
Neji cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to elaborate.
"I mean, how could Sakura, Ino, and Hinata achieve their potential when they were always so distracted? It's annoying. Be more independent!"
"I'm not sure I understand where this is going, Tenten."
"Towards an existential crisis!" she said with a frustrated huff. "I mean, how can I call myself independent or a feminist when all I can think about is your stupid, perfect face?"
Neji laughed at her, earning a sharp glare.
"I'm serious, Neji! I feel like all I think about is you! 'What's Neji doing right now? Does he really like me? When can we have sex again?' It's driving me insane!"
Neji curled back over Tenten, kissing her softly before looking into her eyes. He pushed a stray bang back into place while he picked his next words.
"Do you think that our relationship takes away some of your own agency?"
"I don't know… Sometimes I do. I don't feel like an adult in a relationship. I feel like a hormone-fueled teenager with an unhealthy obsession."
Neji considered her statement for a moment before speaking.
"I feel similar."
Tenten's brows shot up.
"You do?"
"Do I come across as the type of person who would have sex in an open field in the middle of the day?"
Tenten laughed.
"No, not at all."
"And yet, here we are."
"But you still go home and do your own thing. You're still your own person."
She felt her eyes burn and resisted the urge to cry. She felt Neji's thumb swipe across her cheek, a soothing gesture of affection he reserved just for her.
"So are you, Tenten."
Tenten scoffed.
"I think that it's normal for people to experience so much infatuation at first."
"I don't know, Neji. Maybe, but it feels like so much more. When I thought you were… I-I couldn't do anything." One tear, two tears, and then the stream. She wept freely under him. "I was so pathetic, a shell of a person. My existence stopped when I thought yours did."
Neji kissed her forehead and diligently wiped away her tears. He let her cry uninterrupted until she had calmed down enough to listen.
"Tenten, that's not an obsessive crush, that's grief. They're different."
"I felt like I couldn't live without you."
"I know. I'm sorry. But grieving doesn't make you weak or less independent."
Tenten looked away, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.
"Listen to me, Tenten. Feeling like your whole world has been turned upsidedown... like you'll never be happy again, that's normal. It's part of the process."
Neji wiped away another tear.
"You know everything," she teased.
"I wish this was something I didn't know. You feel helpless at first. It's normal. I promise."
Neji kissed her briefly on the lips.
"As for our current situation, tell me; if you were asked to go on a mission without me, would you?"
Tenten nodded.
"Of course."
"Do you still go home and work on your scrolls? Do you research new weapons and techniques?"
Another nod.
"And even though you claim to think about me all day, are you still doing your normal routine?"
"Yes."
"And do you still know your goals? Your dreams?"
"I think so."
"I don't think being infatuated with someone makes you any less independent. And you're definitely the strongest, fiercest, most independent woman I know."
Tenten's heart fluttered. She touched his cheek and smiled.
"Thanks, Neji." She smiled up at him. "But you better not just be saying that to get me out of my dress."
He frowned.
"It was genuine, besides," he pressed a series of kisses to her neck, and she giggled, "I don't need to go out of my way with compliments for you to take your clothes off."
"Neji!"
Her laughs melted into gasps. She struggled to hold onto any sense of reality.
"You arrogant-"
He cut her off with a deep and needy kiss.
"Stop talking," he whispered between kisses.
Tenten pushed him off of her. Neji rolled over and onto his back, and she quickly climbed on top of him, swelling with triumph and pride over her small victory.
She leaned forward and kissed him, pressing her hips back to extract a well earned gasp from her partner.
"Fine, I'll stop talking," she said between kisses, "but not because you want me to."
Neji grinned up at her, hands reaching for her waist, pulling her in closer.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
A/N: I am currently going through the 5 stages of grief for having used lyrics from a 2003 Kelly Clarkson song. Christmas. 8th grade. This was the first and only song I downloaded to my brand new iPod Video before we had to leave for my grandparent's house. 45 minute drive both ways. You bet I kept that on repeat. Please don't tell my husband I'm a nerd (although I suspect he knows). Ha!
