Chapter title from the quote: "The summer night is like a perfection of thought." by Wallace Stevens
I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to update this fic, once again. I know it's frustrating when an author updates sporadically, but I can promise you one thing: thing story will not be abandoned. This is my passion project, and even if it takes me ages, I will finish it.
All my love,
Harley
"I hate this," Farkle groaned, falling back on her bed. She smiled over at him, closing her book and putting it aside.
Her parents had agreed to Farkle staying with them for the rest of the summer because Farkle's dad had extended his trip again. That was, of course, on the condition that he attend therapy once a week (Topanga's idea- not unsurprising though). And he loathed it {she understood. She'd been fighting so hard to keep herself out of therapy}. Every week he came back complaining of how he never wanted to go back again {he did anyway. Farkle wasn't going to risk Topanga being disappointed in him}.
She ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed and leaned into the touch. For a moment they just sat in comfortable silence, before Farkle pushed himself up to lie on his elbows.
"I just-" he paused, looking up to the ceiling, "I want this to be over." She murmured a soft agreement.
"I'm sorry," she told him, "that I can't do more."
"Riley, you've already done more than I could have asked for. You're my best friend."
She smiled and rolled over to lie on top of him, getting a laugh out of him, "What about Maya?" she asked cautiously.
"Yeah, her too," he admitted, dragging a hand down over his face. "God, am I an awful person?"
"Of course not," she denied vehemently, "You don't have to tell her if you don't want to." She'd not-told people so many things that she didn't exactly have a foot to stand on in this conversation.
"You think I should, though," he prodded, and her eyes darted away guiltily. Yeah, she did. Maya had experience with this, and would understand Farkle's problems better than Riley ever could.
"It's not my place to say," she deferred. He chuckled.
"Yeah, but you're right. I should tell her. I just- I don't know if I can, you know?" He asked, but shook his head before she could find a response, "I'm going to apologize next time I see her, but-" he broke off suddenly, and Riley couldn't blame him. There wasn't exactly an etiquette book for these kinds of things.
"I wish I could do it for you," she said, and his eyes brightened, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.
"You could."
"Farkle," she said sceptically, and he rolled his eyes.
"I know, I know. It's my experience, and you don't want to speak for me." She nuzzled his chest with her head and hummed her assent.
"I still wish-" he started, but he cut himself off- "Movie?"
She nodded against him.
They were Riley and Farkle and no matter what happened around them, they would always support and love each other.
Two days later, Riley woke up to a commotion in the kitchen. That wasn't uncommon, per se, but this time it as definitely louder than Maya, Shawn and Katy. She sat up, and seeing that Farkle was still on the mattress they'd set up for him, and made her way downstairs (before she walked into the living room, she considered the fact that she was wearing pyjamas shorts and one of Lucas's middle school baseball tees, before shrugging and following the scent of coffee).
She jumped down the last few steps and came upon a scene that made her smile. Her mom and her boyfriend were in the kitchen, talking quietly and cooking. Maya was chasing Auggie and Ava around the living room. Smackle and Zay were setting the kitchen table, and her dad, Uncle Shawn and Katy were drinking coffee on the sofa. It was warm and happy. It looked like family. It looked like home.
She pulled two mugs from the shelf- hers, which was yellow and had the Hufflepuff crest stamped across it, and Farkle's, which was printed with a pair of kittens (an old one of hers, but she gave it to him every time he stayed the night). She wove her way through the kitchen, pausing between her mom and Lucas to press a kiss to each of their cheeks. She wandered over to the coffee pot, filling hers to the brim with milk and sugar, and doling out a regular amount of sugar into the cup with the kittens. She could feel Lucas's eyes following her- his baseball shirt slipped off of one shoulder, and it felt like his eyes were burning into the open skin. She smiled softly to herself, proud, and didn't acknowledge him as she walked up the stairs.
She walked into her room backwards, using her back to push open the door while her hands were occupied. Farkle moaned and stretched slightly, but looked like he was mostly still asleep. She put her mug down on the floor and then sat down on his mattress, trying to inject as much grace as possible into the process so that the contents of the mug didn't spill (it didn't work, but at least she could say that she tried).
"Morning, sleepyhead," she whispered, pushing a gentle kiss to his forehead. He made a soft noise and burrowed further into the blankets.
"I brought coffee," she coerced, which brought him far enough out of his cocoon to make a 'gimme' motion at her. She grinned and handed over the mug, and he drank deeply from the mug before even opening his eyes.
"You're an angel," he insisted, and she laughed brightly, flicking his forehead in reproach, "And you're ignoring our guests."
"Guests?" His brow creased slightly as he tried to remember if anyone had been invited for breakfast, "Is SAGA here?" (she'd invited the SAGA committee over for breakfast before when they'd organised a volunteer day at The NYC PRIDE Center) (was it weird that he didn't think of their clique first?).
"Uh, no. The Hunters are, though," the first time someone had called them 'The Hunters' in front of Maya, she'd burst into tears (happy tears, she promised). Now they did it as much as possible, trying to make it part of the group's vocabulary.
"And Zay, Lucas and Smackle." She hesitated, wondering if she should mention it, but- "Is it fine that she's here?"
She wanted to leave it there, but she felt the words bubbling out of her before she could stop it, "Because I know she's our friend, but if you need more time- you only broke up a month ago, it would be completely reasonable. We've been trying to give you space, inviting you to different stuff and all, but I also think you need to start spending time together again at some point. I won't ask her to leave, but I can say that you're not feeling up to coming downstairs, bring breakfast up. No one's going to ask questions, they know that something went down- I didn't tell them, but you did snap at Maya, and-" Farkle placed his hand over hers, and she slowed her word vomit.
"Riley. Smackle and I are good. We've been hanging out while you guys were on your double dates. We're fine, I promise. No stress."
"Oh," it was weird, and she didn't quite know what to do with the information. They'd been intentionally excluding the two of them in order to make them more comfortable, and all it led to was… them hanging out anyway? She stayed quiet, though. It wasn't her business anyway.
Breakfast was… stilted. Not that Riley hadn't expected that. Between Farkle and Smackle's recent breakup, Zay and Maya's recent pseudo-get together, and the sore-spots Farkle had hit when he'd yelled at Maya, their group felt out-of-sync, to say the least.
But they all sat cross-legged on the living-room floor, eating eggs and toast, watching a made-for-tv movie, and Riley was pretty certain that things would go back to being okay.
Lucas, Zay and Smackle let themselves out soon after breakfast was done (but not before Lucas had helped with the dishes- God, she loved his Southern hospitality- or given her a chaste kiss- tender, but aware of their company).
Then it was just the three of them- the original three; like it had been since childhood. At first, she wondered if she'd have to facilitate the conversation or something, but Farkle and Maya slipped away to her room pretty quickly. She watched them up the stairs and then returned her attention to the current conversation- something about snails' teeth. She laughed at Shawn fiercely denying the possibility of such a thing, and let herself forget about Maya and Farkle for a minute {not quite- her mind was with them and only them}.
Shawn and Katy left about twenty minutes later, asking Riley to let Maya know to be home by ten {Maya hadn't had a curfew before Shawn- Riley would have to ask her how she felt about it} and Riley found herself cautiously creeping up to her bedroom door. When there weren't any raised voices, she slowly pushed it open.
She frowned at what she found. Maya and Farkle were sitting as far away from each other as possible (albeit still both on the bay window).
"Guys?" she asked softly, "what's going on?"
"Ask him," Maya snapped, looking out the window.
"I tried to apologize," Farkle argued, "It's not my fault she won't listen."
"You won't tell me anything," Maya retorted, "I'm allowed to be upset."
Riley clambered over Farkle's mattress to sit between the two of them. She took Farkle's hand in hers, pulling his face to look at her. Tears glistened in his eyes.
"I want to," he told Riley, "but I just can't."
She nodded, and motioned her head towards Maya, eyebrows up. Asking for permission. He nodded.
"Farkle comes here when he fights with his parents," she told Maya, taking her hand in her other hand, "Or when they fight with each other."
"Oh," Maya said softly, understanding. She turned to face them instead of the window, and her knees brushed up against Riley's.
"Yeah, well, it shouldn't be a problem anymore." Farkle's voice was thick with anger, and she could almost hear the way he was working his jaw to keep his temper under control. He held her hand tighter. "My mom left."
"Like, for good, or just...?" Maya's question trails off. There's nothing to say.
"I don't fucking know, Maya," his voice cracked when he swore, and he was crying again. Maya stood up and made her way to his other side, hugging him tight.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry too," he told her.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you. It was unfair. You didn't deserve it."
"I didn't," Maya said. "But I understand anyway." She put her head down on his shoulder, and he rested his on top. And the three of them sat there for a while, May and Farkle in an embrace, Riley holding Farkle's hand. Letting them feel their pain, because what else could she do?
"Everything's good now?" she eventually inquired softly, and they nodded in tandem, neither of them opening their eyes.
"I'm glad." She leaned against Farkle and dropped her head onto his other shoulder.
"You guys are my best friends," she told them, reaching across Farkle's lap to link pinkie fingers with Maya, "and I love you both so much. And we're going to fight a hundred more times, I'm sure," she laughed softly, "but we're not going to let it break us."
"Never," Maya promised, voice firm, "Thunder."
"Lightning," Riley replied.
"Hail?" Farkle joked, smiling broadly. And Riley laughed and pushed him, and they were good.
The rest of the summer passed in a dazzling haze of hot mornings and late nights. Riley spent as much time as possible with her friends- because she wasn't in London, and she was feeling good, and the only way to appreciate that was to live her life to the fullest.
{So she went on as many dates as possible. She and Lucas liked to stay and watch Gossip Girl, and she made sure there was time for that, but they also went to watch Shakespeare at the park and when they had the money that went out for dinner and to watch new movies with Zay and Maya. They found time to sneak up to her room and, if they could get the door closed, make out a bit. The feeling of his hands running over her back and ribs and playing at the edge of her bra sent shivers down her spine.
She took Shawn to the International Center of Photography Museum, spent evenings with her family watching bad TV and invited the Hunters over for dinner every Friday. She had sleepovers with Maya and afternoons where they'd set up camp in the bay window and just talk. She marvelled at the sun bouncing off of Maya's hair and wondered how difficult it would be to take a picture of it (very). She followed Maya around Central Park and let her paint her surroundings while Riley read.
She went on walks with Farkle, and they visited museums and parks and bookstores together. They visited Brooklyn Museum and marvelled over the Coney Island photograph exhibit and Zanele Muholi: Isibonelo/Evidence. They liked walking the high line together, hanging out far away from everything they were going through. But when they were alone, she also felt safe talking about how scared she was, about her panic attacks and the pressure she felt. In turn, he could talk about his parents and his therapy and his breakup.
She volunteered with the SAGA committee. Once a week, they'd all head over to a shelter or a LGBTQ Youth Centre. She also spent time with them outside of volunteering. She binged Doctor Who with Heather and Ashley, and hung out at Topanga's with Emma, Mila and Farkle. She, Noah, and Farkle went down to fresh produce markets on Sundays.
She picked up extra shifts at Topanga's and used the money to take all six of them out. They tried to attend more slam poetry evenings, and even when the poets were awful they had fun. She hosted board game evenings and sometimes invited Josh. They swapped novels and playlists and tried to teach Farkle to play baseball and when he sucked they let him play with them anyway}.
On the last day of summer before school was set to begin, she, Farkle, Smackle, Maya, Lucas, and Zay found themselves picnicking in Bryant Park {well, picnicking was a loose term. She'd packed a blanket into her backpack and they'd bought some food from local food stalls}.
The six of them were lazing around, procrastinating going home and getting ready for the next day. It was peaceful. Zay and Maya were lying side-by-side at the edge of the blanket, and Riley and Farkle were sitting cross legged, one of her knees brushing his. Lucas's head was in her lap and she was stroking through his hair. Smackle's head was on Lucas's stomach and her feet were stretched out into Farkle's lap.
"This is nice," Lucas said, eyes still closed, smiling. She agreed, cheeks aching with the force of her smile. Farkle knocked one of her knees with his and tossed a piece of popcorn towards her. She tried to catch it in her mouth, but failed miserably, giggling wildly.
Farkle snickered at her, dropping another kernel into his own mouth, and then throwing one over to Lucas, who caught it perfectly. She rolled her eyes and bent down to kiss him softly.
"How can you possibly be so impressive?" she asked sarcastically. He reached up and tugged on a curl that had fallen out of her bun twisting it around his finger.
"Just my natural charm, baby," he told her, and Farkle laughed. Then his eyes grew serious.
"I want to tell you all something," Farkle said, and Riley's eyes flickered over in surprise. May and Zay sat up and crawled over, and Smackle pushed herself up as well, slotting in between Zay and Farkle.
"Well- not you all so much as you three. Riley and Maya already know. It's- uh, it's about my parents, and why I've been staying at Riley's this summer?" He was so tentative and her heart broke for him.
"Whenever you're ready, Farkle," Smackle encouraged him. Riley grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.
"My mom- my mom left, at the beginning of the summer." He didn't start crying when he spoke about it anymore, but his voice was hollow and she hated it.
"And I've really been struggling with it, y'know," he continued, "because my dad's away so much, so now there's no one there anymore, and I just- I told her to leave." Riley could hear everyone else gasping, and she vaguely remembered that he hadn't even told Maya that he'd been the one to encourage his mother to leave.
"It wasn't healthy for her, being there, being part of our family," he swallowed hard, "but I still- I still miss her, and I'm still angry that I wasn't enough for her."
He sits, breathing heavily, and there's nothing really for Riley to say. She's said everything already.
"That fucking sucks," Lucas says, brow furrowed. Then he stands up and pulls Farkle up with him into a hug. The rest of them join in, slowly, and Smackle, who's not always comfortable with so much contact, holds Farkle's hand.
For a moment, the six of them stand in silence, peaceful and content. The sounds of the city seem far away from their little bubble.
"I want to stay like this forever," Riley tells them, and Smackle tentatively reaches over to take Riley's hand.
"We will," she promises, and Riley believes her.
