Chapter 5 : Over His Dead Body
Tsunayoshi can't connect his feelings to his own mother's, but he still thinks things like: I don't want her to walk in and see my dead body. He takes things like an oath from her sworn seriously, and thinks: I don't want her to have it broken without even being able to try keeping it. He doesn't get it and he can't even tell how serious she is about it - about any of it; Nana gripped him tight and swore to protect him, wakes him up every morning and makes breakfast and dinner, and pays for fighting classes that Tsunayoshi can't entirely bring himself to say he wants out of-
(does he want out of them? Only, he thinks it helps him shove that awful feeling back down)
… but on the off chance that she's serious, he wants her to have a chance at trying to keep it.
He feels separated from her, from Haru, from Hibari; he can't connect his feelings with their feelings. His hands are sticky, sometimes, although they're not. He thinks he has a bloody nose, sometimes, even though he doesn't. Something awful lurks in a hallowed place within his chest or bones, still and pragmatic.
(Tsunayoshi keeps looking for ways to shove it down - to kill it, but insolent and unconcerned, it waits inside him, nestled between heart and lungs. A dangerous ember cast down in arrogance that smolders with sullen resilience on a pine forest floor, refusing to snuff out and threatening annihilation of everything.)
-0-
Hibari broke into his house that night and tried to kill him- but: no he didn't. It wasn't about that, isn't about that. Hibari, somehow, knows exactly how far to go without killing Tsunayoshi or getting killed himself-
Not that Tsunayoshi feels particularly inclined to kill Hibari or anything. Tsunayoshi doesn't want to hurt anyone, let alone kill them. It's just- ahhh-
There's a smoldering ember inside of Tsunayoshi, nestled into his chest where it's sheltered from the elements, and Hibari pinned him to the floor and fanned the flames until Tsunayoshi was choking on the smoke of it. Or would be choking but breathing ash and sulfur somehow comes naturally, so he wheezes expecting to suffocate when it's really just the smell that panics him because he doesn't believe it, doesn't trust it yet. Someone with Hibari's instincts should probably be running away from a forest fire, right?
(His palms are numb and sticky and there's iron and meat, like a butcher shop, sick with sweat and the moans, the little hurt and helpless and hopeless noises, desperate.
A natural-born hitman you're not, but.
But.
Five men. Six bullets. Ahhh, it's bad. Swinging a weapon again and again, the crack and shatter and sick crunch that would come if he just takes it away and uses it in his own defense. Mama will cry if Tsu-kun dies. We don't tolerate harm befalling the family.)
Despite everything, Hibari leaves Tsunayoshi's house that night and neither of them are particularly harmed, although Tsunayoshi feels rattled to his bones. He wishes it felt like a bad dream in the morning, but instead he feels a bit hunted and a bit haunted by it; a feeling he should trust in, given that the moment he arrives at school, Hibari beats him into the ground.
Last night, Hibari promised with soft malevolence and sharp teeth to beat discipline into Tsunayoshi, and so he's beaten at every turn. If it seems one-sided, that's only because it is - Tsunayoshi belatedly kind of wonders if maybe Hibari isn't the kind to whom teaching comes naturally. He doesn't think he's learning much just from getting personal beatings from Hibari himself, rather than the Committee - even if he can dodge a lot of it.
Only because it's Hibari do the teachers tolerate the interrupted lessons, Tsunayoshi knows - the way Hibari comes barreling in and the way Tsunayoshi dashes out in a chaotic tumble of papers and backpacks. Still, Tsunayoshi's already bad grades suffer, and Haru grows desperate and wild-eyed over make-up work, swearing heated vengeance she's prohibited from taking by virtue of Tsunayoshi and Hibari attending a regular school.
It goes on like this for a while: Tsunayoshi becomes very good at dodging and running away, even though it makes Hibari hit him harder when he's caught. He doesn't make it easy. It's not reasonable to ask someone to stand still when they're getting attacked and when Hibari's too close, that ember in his chest ashes and smokes. When Haru catches up to them after school, she gets involved: sets her feet to the earth and becomes an immovable titan, takes the beatings and later bitterly plans her revenge.
"Revenge," Tsunayoshi echoes with reproach, though not exactly surprise. He's gotten a better grasp on Haru's personality now and the perverse turns it takes. He had an inkling she was like this from the beginning when she'd declared him her prince, but just because he more or less expects it from her doesn't mean he knows what to do with it.
"Revenge!" Haru affirms.
"I don't think it's right to want revenge for something you asked for in the first place," Tsunayoshi says uncertainly, scratching out a scribble on the edge of his homework. Although it had started out as a normal tutoring session, Haru had been too fired up to actually focus on trying to explain anything to him.
While Tsunayoshi had already been pretty convinced he wasn't learning anything during class, now that he barely manages to sit through one class without Hibari interrupting, the topics are even harder to understand. At one point, Tsunayoshi had shown up before anyone else and had been quietly having a nervous breakdown in his seat, scrubbing his fingers frantically through his hair and barely resisting the urge to pull it all out. Yamamoto Takeshi had paused beside him with a sympathetic chuckle. "He's like a dog with a new favorite chew toy, huh?" he'd said.
Tsunayoshi had made some kind of strangled noise, given Hibari's threat of biting people to death, and Yamamoto had laughed loudly, slapped his shoulder hard enough to bruise, and congratulated him on getting along with Hibari so well before taking his own seat and promptly going to sleep.
Tsunayoshi hasn't explained about Hibari's late night visit yet, not with Haru's lack of self-preservation, so Haru seems incredibly puzzled when she echoes softly, "asked for this?" Staring at him for a moment, she the reels back, astounded. "Tsunayoshi-san! Could it be? You actually like getting hurt?"
If he were drinking, he'd have sprayed it everywhere. Instead, Tsunayoshi chokes on his own spit and bangs his knee against the bottom of his desk. The packets and papers go flying.
"No way!" he protests, loudly, emphasizing with his arms. There's some kind of implication there that he isn't quite getting, but the idea that he wants to get beaten by Hibari, rather than just dealing with it because it can't be avoided, is - no.
Haru stares at him for a moment longer before blinking and letting it go. "Hmm. I guess not," she says, shrugging it off. "It seemed a little too strange in the first place, even for you."
It's a bit weird for Haru to so quickly give up on something, but Tsunayoshi slumps in both exhaustion and relief all the same. "Whether it's strange or not, that's not what's going on, you know? I don't mind it a lot because I've always been clumsy, but there's nothing I like about it."
The opposite, in fact. There's nothing he likes about getting hurt. Even if he's clumsy and accustomed to always having aches and pains, the feeling of knotted bruising from tumbling down stairs or running into doors, of every movement aching and the unexpected sharp pain of an injury being pressed on - even if he's accustomed to it, pain still hurts. And getting beat by Hibari is its own kind of terror.
But the hurt of bruises and the flash of fear he feels before ducking Hibari's swings- if it's that or feeling that awful thing pushing up into his throat, like drowning in reverse: then it's less painful. Tsunayoshi is always very clever about how he goes with what will cause him the least amount of pain.
Being good for nothing to begin with is better than constantly showing what a disappointment he is to others, after all.
Haru makes a noise deep in her throat, low and unhappy. "I feel the same way, so I don't really get what's going on," she complains. "Someone should be enjoying it, at least! If Tsunayoshi could at least be an M, it would be easier to bare with it instead of holding out for being recognized."
… there's a very terrifying side to Haru's personality that Tsunayoshi doesn't know how to deal with.
"Hibari-senpai seems to having fun," Tsunayoshi says - uncertain over the 'fun' and resentful over remembering even Yamamoto recognizing him as a chewtoy. It's not a lie or an exaggeration that Hibari does seem to get something out of it, even though it's not something a person could really read from Hibari's face. It was something with claws and teeth, not quite bared in threat. Something strange that nonetheless, Tsunayoshi is almost certain he has seen.
Haru looks around sharply, her green eyes sharp and interrogative; it gives him a little alarmed jolt. "You think so?" she demands, sounding way too invested. Wordlessly, Tsunayoshi bobs his head, and then jumps when Haru brightens with a sudden violent energy.
Despite the bruises and scrapes and bandages, Haru bounces with renewed energy, beaming and clapping her hands. "Okay! Haru gets it now," she exclaims excitedly. "Tsunayoshi-san! Please continue to fight your hardest with Haru, okay?"
She's being way too enthusiastic about it, Tsunayoshi thinks with a nervous, pinched smile. "D-do whatever you like," he says weakly.
Haru, of course, takes no notice of any hesitance or reluctance on his part, but she seems pretty happy so- that's okay? It's actually not, not any more than Hibari looking so satisfied after he's made it where neither of them could stand, but, well, it's easier to go along with it without complaining if someone is at least a little happy about it.
Because if it were an unhappy face that began showing, that- that wouldn't sit right with Tsunayoshi at all. Ahh. What would he do about that? He wonders that suddenly. It's difficult to know for sure. He wouldn't be able to let it stay that way, that's all he knows. It wouldn't be tolerable.
That scary feeling isn't staying at bay at all, no matter how hurt and tired he is. Ahh. Tsunayoshi hopes that Hibari quickly figures out the right way to discipline him. He hates it. He hates it a lot. It's scary.
Step one- Tsunayoshi and Haru join up after their schools let out; step two- they meet up with the Committee, because Hibari has heard about certain uppity herd animals; step three- it's an all out free-for-all, and eventually at some point, the men in police uniforms get restless and scatter them to the corners of Namimori; step four- Hibari's post-destroying-lives cooldown includes making up for the fact that Haru and Tsunayoshi are actually pretty good at dodging.
Everyone has been saying it for a while now, but Hibari Kyoya really is a demon. He's wild and unpredictable and mercurial, with a special set of rules that a person can play by and hope to survive if they have the misfortune of meeting him, but it's hard to say if the rules haven't changed that particular day. There's that, and something about the way he stands away from everyone else that means that Tsunayoshi, as scared as he is, wants to be looked at by Hibari. That's stupid. That's dangerous.
Who is a big enough idiot that they'd want to be looked at by something so sharp and mean? So awful and angry?
Oh.
That's right.
Hibari's angry, isn't he?
It's been so hard to tell this entire time because he hasn't wanted to kill Tsunayoshi, but that's at least part of it, right? Isn't that why Tsunayoshi keeps coming back around instead of running away as fast as he can? Tsunayoshi isn't angry but that awful feeling steals his breath and then it steals life in the name of protecting others - Hibari is angry and vengeful and even though he could, he could, Tsunayoshi knows he could, he never once hits hard enough to inflict anything permanent.
(Ahh - who is the demon here? Who is the monster? It's really not Hibari, is it? With all his teeth and the unsettling glimmer in his eyes like an animal's at night.
What do Tsunayoshi's look like? It must be frightening.)
-0-
Accustomed to pain or not, that doesn't mean that Tsunayoshi as a habit goes looking for it of his own accord. At least one or two days must be given to healing up, and these days - as almost every other day - are spent with Haru. Haru has more or less become as familiar to Tsunayoshi as his own mother, no small thanks to the fact that Haru studies with him in his bedroom so often that he forgets to think it's weird to have a girl in there.
Isn't that a strange thought? It's only ever been Tsunayoshi and Nana, but he sees Haru so often - becomes so accustomed to her standing right at his right side, to the point that when Haru has her own things to take care of, he gets disoriented for a moment when he turns and doesn't see her.
If not for how she always says that she's his girlfriend, he'd think this is what having a best friend is like. It's not like they even do anything that Tsunayoshi thinks only boyfriends and girlfriends do. Granted, he's not exactly well versed on the matter, since he hasn't even had an actual friend since he was learning to walk, but he and Haru don't even hold hands or anything.
(There's something weird about that. That someone could look at him and say with such sincerity: let me help you achieve your goals - that someone would think of him so much to assume on their own what his goals might be - that someone would be interested in him so much - it's weird. It's weird. He'll never get used to it.)
And on some days, rather than going home after stalking the Committee, they stop at one or another cafe that Haru has heard about at school and wants to try.
"Haru used to come alone sometimes," she says after a few such trips, "but it's a lot more fun with Tsunayoshi-san!"
There's always something about the set of her elbows, the corners of her eyes, or maybe something in her voice that Tsunayoshi carefully ignores. "I've never been at all, not without Mom," he says.
Though truthfully speaking, it wasn't like he and his mom used to be on good terms. Vaguely, he thinks he used to be a happy, if painfully shy, child. He doesn't smile a lot in his childhood photos, but he knows that it took until he started school before people started to say: you're just no good. Then he had lost his ability to connect his feelings to Nana's and they were more like strangers, and then recently Nana said: I wasn't able to protect you.
Their feelings might not connect, but Tsunayoshi acknowledges that he's done 'anything' for her and that's its own kind of bond.
Today, Haru's appetite matches his own; Tsunayoshi always seems to be hungry these days and so does Haru, though there were times when she skimps on food and depends instead on drinks.
"I had no idea how easy the other schools have it," she sighs, sitting across from him at the small table, fingers twined around her drink. "It must be nice to live in a world where when school ends, you don't have to think about it."
"I think that's the normal way of things," he says, with a small, uncertain smile. "Midori Middle seems a bit… ah, intense."
"Does it?" She blinks at him, gently poking her lip with her straw. It seems a bit insincere around the edges. "I never noticed. That's just how it's been. My mom really wants me to go to a lot of prestigious schools. It'll give me better prospects, she says."
Tsunayoshi's own mother hadn't seemed too troubled about anything like that, even with his barely-double-digit scores. 'As long as you're happy,' she says, and seems to ignore the fact that without an education - how is he supposed to live? It's just that he's been too useless until Haru butted in to be able to fix it on his own. "Wow," he says, "she must love you a lot."
Haru laughs, startled and bright and with too many teeth. "Yeah, I guess so," she says, straw pressed to those teeth, her fingers jittering around her cup and her eyes over-bright.
Or 'sharp', maybe.
Maybe Tsunayoshi has been lucky in various ways he hadn't fully realized yet. Ways that he still can't see the entire shape of, but which cast strange shadows that give him a vague idea of it.
"If it's causing problems, though," he says, "then we could always meet up later in the day, you know - Mom would be happy enough to have you for dinner, if you don't have to go home."
Haru's eyes widen - and then narrow into slits sharp enough that Tsunayoshi flinches, feeling as though his skin is being flayed. "Hmph! Haru has come this far under my own power for my own reasons already! Didn't you know? My gymnastics coach said I had to put an end to whatever it was that was getting me hurt," she says indignantly. "But Tsunayoshi is more important to Haru than gymnastics! I told him if he forced the matter, then I'd just quit!"
Ah - that hurts. He doesn't know what to do with that kind of thing.
"Haru," Tsunayoshi says, splaying his hands and taken aback. "No one is asking you to do that much! Aren't clubs - aren't clubs really important? Isn't it not just going to a prestigious school, but also doing clubs and activities? You shouldn't quit over something like this!"
Haru's temper seems to roil like a massive storm on the horizon, a loud, threatening rumble. "I only joined to make friends in the first place," she snaps, incised. Her fingers have separated, and her knuckles are white around the edges of her fists, trembling on the table top on either side of her drink. "And yet- and yet-! If I had anywhere else to be, I wouldn't be here!"
"Haru," Tsunayoshi says in stunned surprise, but it only seems to upset her further. Not angry, just- upset. She shoves up from the table roughly with a hurt expression, grabbing her bookbag and hurrying toward the cafe door. Tsunayoshi could have easily gotten to her and stopped her in time, but he's never seen her make that kind of face, or say those kind of things-
Ahh. Shouldn't he be the one making a hurt expression, really? Being someone's last resort isn't a happy thing.
Haru always so happily called herself his girlfriend, and yet-
-0-
That makes it seem like a big deal. Tsunayoshi knows that he should be upset about the way Haru ended their day together, but - the reality is even if he realizes that, the feeling isn't there. Haru says 'I wouldn't be here' and Tsunayoshi thinks: isn't that obvious?
It feels a bit like he's just surprised that she's gone to such lengths to hide how unhappy she is about it this long. Shouldn't he do something about that? It doesn't sit with him right that Haru isn't at least content to be by his side, since it seems like she thinks he has goals and she wants to help him achieve them.
(What kind of goals are those, anyway? He just doesn't want Nana to cry. She most definitely would do a lot of that if Tsunayoshi isn't careful about keeping this awful feeling down. He doesn't want to hurt anyone. Does he really need a lot of help for those kinds of things? Ahh, it's only that he'll be sad if Haru ventures far from his side. It's obvious, but - it'll hurt. His mom will make a sad face, too.)
Being someone's last resort shouldn't be a happy thing - and well, it isn't. But after all, for some time there, the only reason Tsunayoshi was even bothering to go to school was for a chance to see a smile on Mochida's girlfriend's face. Being a last resort is still being on someone's mind at some point, compared to that.
Despite everything, Tsunayoshi can still cringe to remember that. It's been a while since the last time he thought about Kyoko. Of course he's seen her: she attends the same school as him and he thinks about her every time Mochida takes a disliking to Tsunayoshi and mocks him about what a troublesome kid he's become, calling Hibari Kyoya down on his own head.
But Dame-Tsuna has graduated far beyond being 'no good to be around' - for so long, he'd dreamed of a world where Kyoko might acknowledge him, where he might touch her hand or arm and take some of that warmth of hers for himself-
But now? With the current Tsunayoshi? His feelings weren't gentle or kind to begin with, and now that he's become aware of it, it's better that she never figures out he even exists at all.
If Haru who tutors him and supports her own idea of his goals and calls him a Prince and claims to be his girlfriend can also turn around and say he's a last resort - then surely Kyoko would do the same. Then surely Kyoko, bright and smiling, already together with an athlete who is popular, would be kind enough to pat him on the head before saying: animals should stay outside. We can't have them tracking mud on the floor, you see.
Better she never see him for what he is than see him and with a smile, with kindness - thoughtfulness - lock him out.
-0-
And what is he? Isn't that the question. Without someone else telling him, he's not sure he can figure it out. Is he still Dame-Tsuna? They tell him so at school, but he doesn't feel the same as he did when they first called him that.
Hibari says things like 'herbivore' and 'carnivore' and actually means something more like 'sheep that get fleeced' and 'the shepherds that do the fleecing' - but Haru either doesn't know or doesn't care about the meaning behind the phrase and treats it like Hibari means it more literally. It does weird things to Tsunayoshi's head, in that he's trying to understand and meet both Haru and Hibari on their own terms in the first place. Neither one of them see the world anything at all like Tsunayoshi does, and nothing like each other, and he doesn't know where that leaves him and them or anything else.
But Tsunayoshi is hardly anything that is worth being fleeced int he first place, and it's not as though he's skilled enough to do the fleecing, so what is he? Haru's Prince of Last Resort, or an unruly animal, or 'chewtoy.' If Haru would rather be elsewhere and Kyoko would lock him out - then he's left sleeping in the dog house, isn't he? With a guy they call a 'shaggy beast,' and that beast's sharp, sharp teeth.
-0-
Wait. What?
-0-
So, Haru storms out on their day off outing with sharp words and leaves the entire cafe looking at Tsunayoshi like he's scum or worse, not even fit to be stepped on. It's a bit awkward, but Tsunayoshi always gets looked at like that at school, so it doesn't really make a big impact on him. They'll probably continue to give him bad looks if he comes back, but - that can't really be helped.
He's probably even more useless than he'd realized.
"I'm home," he announces himself, kicking his shoes off at the door.
"Welcome home, Tsu-kun!"
As is his habit - as has been his habit ever since his hands went numb and sticky - Tsunayoshi pads down the hallway to the kitchen where Nana is; in contrast to Haru's strange demeanor earlier, Nana looks entirely familiar: her smile and eyes are bright when she glances away from the sink. She's already finished cleaning up and is just wiping down the sink.
Even if he can't connect his feelings with her, seeing her being so relaxed and natural puts him at ease. Tsunayoshi sighs heavily, moving to fall solidly into a chair at the table. Crossing his arms on the table, he slumps over them, trying to disregard his concerns.
"My, my," Nana says, drying her hands. "Is something bothering you, I wonder?"
"Ah - no, not really," he says, sitting back and waving her off - for what good it does. Nana moves away from the sink toward the refrigerator, and despite his protests, quickly has set out some sweet cookies and tea. Tsunayoshi looks at the plate a bit dreadfully, considering he's just come from a cafe - but the gesture is… he sighs and picks up a cookie to nibble at it reluctantly.
"Now, Tsu-kun," his mother says, seating herself across from him, "why don't you tell Mama all about it?"
Tsunayoshi remembers again, because he's been thinking about it so much, that time when he thought Nana told him that Iemitsu was dead, and hadn't seemed concerned about it. Her fingernails cutting into his skin. If he's capable of (five men, six bullets) that, then why had he waited so long? Why had it taken tears and blood? If he'd just done it from the start, then all of that could have been avoided. Nana's hands wouldn't have had to shake.
Maybe why he can't connect his feelings to anyone else's because he doesn't understand the shape of them himself.
"Being alive is hard," Tsunayoshi says around a cookie, looking at the table to avoid seeing Nana's face. "Haru got mad at me today and left early, but I don't know what I did."
That's not what's really bothering him, but it's a lot easier to say than what's really bothering him - getting beaten by Hibari because he asked to be, and the tangled mess of 'Hibari is frightening but ultimately harmless' and 'Tsunayoshi is stepped upon but then kills men without hesitating once it occurs to him.'
The fight with Haru bothers him, of course it bothers him, but he thinks that probably factors into it. If he can't understand how Haru sees him - if he can't understand it beyond what she says to his face, because it's probably obvious by now that she's being dishonest - then how can he understand what he did wrong in the first place?
"Haru-chan," Nana echoes thoughtfully, and tilts her face upward in thought. "Well, a girl's heart is a lot more complicated than she pretends it is, after all. Especially a lonely girl like Haru-chan."
What part of her is lonely, a kid like Tsunayoshi wonders, who can't even get along with himself because he doesn't know just who or what he is; some kind of muddy animal, probably. If she's so bent on him achieving his own goals, then surely she should be able to understand her own well enough. She probably understands herself, if she can say with full confidence that her mom is bad at making friends.
"What does she even have to be lonely about?" he wonders sullenly. "She seemed happy enough to come over all the time."
"Well," Nana says with a smile, "girls like to be asked."
Tsunayoshi gives her a helpless look. "Asked what," he asks.
She hums pleasantly. "Oh, this and that," she answers with a smile. It's the least helpful possible answer, Tsunayoshi thinks with some exasperation. She sits back, brightening and clasping her hands together. "Tsu-kun," she says, "here's a thought, but why don't the two of us visit Haru-chan at her home?"
"Um," Tsunayoshi says, or stutters. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
He's actually pretty sure it isn't, even if Nana has been taking defense classes. No one has tried to take them hostage again since then, but Haru - well, the kidnappers, and Haru's mother being bad at making friends, apparently.
But judging from the look on Nana's face, she actually likes the idea: that's the kind of smile on her face, her brown eyes shining brightly. Tsunayoshi knows that he favors her in nearly every way, but he thinks he probably never looked as happy and excited about something as this.
"I think it's a wonderful idea," she says, clasping her hands together. "We have her over so often that now that I think about it, it's a bit strange that I've never spoken with her parents!"
"I don't think it's all that strange," he says, a bit weakly. He's being ignored, anyway. Although, come to think about it - what did his mom do all day, other than her self-defense classes? Nana always seems to get along with people well enough, and they seem to like her, but as far as Tsunayoshi knows, she's never had any friends. No one seeks her out.
Now he has Haru who won't leave him alone, just as he won't leave Hibari alone, and Hibari's broken into his room - well, Tsunayoshi had assumed that it was something like that. Something like him. That this was just another way in which they were alike - that adults never strictly picked on Nana because the Namimori Pecking Order didn't permit it, given their position, but that she was at most tolerated and felt awkward around others.
Why had he thought that in the first place? Nana has always been gentle and kind with him, easy and forgiving, calling him 'useless' in understanding tones and says 'it can't be helped' like there's no use in crying about spilled milk.
Instead of protesting about not bothering Haru's mother, the way he usually would have even if it were futile, Tsunayoshi just makes a wordless anxious noise, watching Nana almost leap up from the table to hurry to the hallway phone. She looks too delighted for him to feel entirely comfortable trying to put a stop to it, even though it makes his stomach heavy. He can't quite forget the terms on which Haru left him. He's not sure that she'll be happy about Nana's wishes.
Tsunayoshi picks up another cookie from the dish. As he's fitting it into his mouth, he blinks.
There's a boy at the table. It's a bit odd, like when Tsunayoshi had sat up to see Hibari crouched over his bed, tonfa buried in his pillow. The idea that there's something very wrong with the whole picture, and yet there's no immediately alarm or terror.
The boy blinks back at him. He has a whimsical kind of smile, and a spill of white hair like someone's tipped a carton of milk over his head. It tangles, frayed and jagged. Tsunayoshi somehow expects his strangely colored eyes to be violent and bright, but they're pale and misty and strangely sharp.
Tsunayoshi blinks.
"Is this where it started?" the boy asks him.
The cookie is getting soggy in Tsunayoshi's mouth. "Sorry," he says, garbled and muffled around it, "who?"
Tsunayoshi blinks a third time. Nana's excited voice echoes down the hallway, meaningless this and that which might just be her talking over whatever objections Haru's mother might be making. Haru must have given over her house number at some point… or otherwise Tsunayoshi's mother is inviting herself over to a stranger's house who merely shares a last name.
He's alone in the kitchen, staring a bit blankly at a beam of sunlight coming in the window just so. After a moment, he bites into the sodden cookie.
Notes:
I didn't mean to address the Byakuran plot so early, but since I'll have to pull a style shift, bringing him in at this point is probably fine.
I mean, with the blatant note in the summary about this having Tsuna selfcest involving an AU self, you guys didn't think Byakuran wouldn't factor in at all, did you?
Please think of the cookie scene as an analogue to the first episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion where Rei randomly shows up on the highway right before Shinji sees an Angel for the first time.
