authors note~

This story is going to be about 'LILI REINHART' not 'BETTY COOPER'.

I got inspired to write this story because of Lili's body hate she gets on social media every day, also this is my first story so I apologize for any mistakes, hope you enjoy!

*TRIGGER WARING* this story contains eating disorders, self harm, and some strong topics, if you are easily triggered please take this into consideration.

Lili's POV

When?

When will I be perfect?

When will I have a tiny waist, or a thigh gap?

When will I be as pretty as the models on magazines?

...When will I be happy with myself?

I stare at my bedroom mirror disgusted with the girl I see on the reflection

"You are a fucking mistake" I tell to myself

I walk into the bathroom and start looking in the cabinets for my blade

"There you are, you never fail on me"

I grab the sharp object and start pressing on my wrist next to my other scars

"Should I go deeper?" I ask myself

The thought of all my problems going away with just one deep cut seems amazing right now.

"Not today." I say to myself beginning to play with my blade

Once I finish cutting, I hide my blade, clean up my wrists and put some thin bandages on.

I head downstairs to find Cami cooking

"Morning" says Cami smiling

"Morning"

Me and Cami have been living together since we started filming again.

"Want some breakfast?" asks Cami

"No thanks, I'll grab something at a Mc Donald's" I lied

"Again?" Cami asked suspiciously

Damnit the McDonald's excuse is getting old

"If you don't like my cooking it's totally fine you could just say it" says Cami with a pout

"Nooooo not at all, your cooking is great!" I say

"Well in that case.." Cami says excitedly

"WANT SOME OF MY FAMOUS PANCAKES?!?"

"They are not famous" I say laughing.

"Yes they are"

"No they are not"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Well they should be" says Cami laughing

I start walking towards the door hoping I could make it out of this one.

"Where do you think you're going" said Cami with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face

"Escaping from your disgusting pancakes" I joke

"Oh Lils, Your not escaping that easily" says Cami with a playful smirk

A few pancakes won't hurt right? I do need to eat something its been 3 days since I last ate and I don't want to pass out like last time.

"Cmon Lili lets eat" Cami says bringing me some pancakes

I stare at the pancakes for a while

"They are not thaaat bad" says Cami with an eye roll

"Yeah.. I know I was just, lost in thought"

If I eat one pancake it would be 86 calories, plus the maple syrup would be 260, yeah definitely not adding maple syrup and if-

"Are you just gonna stare at them or actually have some?"

I sit next to Cami and grab a pancake, I start cutting the pancake into little pieces and finally grab a piece and put it in my mouth.

I start chewing it slowly tasting the disgusting calories and finally swallowed it

"Its really good" I say, which wasn't really a lie, they where pretty good, but I can't enjoy them since they are a bomb of calories

"I know" Cami says with a grin

I manage to eat one pancake and decide that I couldn't possibly have more

"Im going to get ready for work"

"You only had one pancake"

"Yeah I just wasn't very hungry"

I headed to my room as fast as I could I rushed the bathroom and locked the door

I looked at my reflection and all I can see is fat, I see fat all over my body

I start panicking unsure on what to do, I needed to fix my mistake

I had never tried purging but I guess theres a first time for everything.

I stuck two fingers down my throat but nothing came out, I tried again and this time I was successful.

The contents in my body went down the toilet, when I finished I brushed my teeth, got ready for work and went downstairs.

"Took you long enough, we are definitely late, again" said Cami getting her car keys

"Sorry, lets get going"

We entered Cami's car and headed to work

Cole's POV

"I can't believe they're late again" said Melton

"They always are" I said

"Were here!" screamed Cami

We all stared at them

"Are we that late?" Asked Lili

"Well your earlier than last time" I said greeting her with a kiss on the cheek

"Cmon guys we need to start filming" said Roberto

After some hours it was time for a bughead scene where Betty has a seizure and jughead carries her to his motorbike and takes her to the hospital

"Betty you can't go back with Alice she will send you back to the sisters" I say

"But she's my mom Jug I can't just leave her forever" Lili says

Betty please liste-

Lili acts out a seizure

"Betty!!"

I pick up Lili and can't help but notice she is as light as a feather, but I decide to ignore it and continue with the scene

"Don't worry Betty your going to be just fine"

When we finish the scene I notice Lili is looking a bit pale, I went and sat beside her and began rubbing her back earning her beautiful smile

"hey are you okay?"

"yeah just a bit... tired"

I wasn't really convinced but decided to not make a big deal out of it

"Cole, Lili, Kj get on set its time for your scene!"

We had a scene where Kj and I were fixing a rusty bike for Betty to have her own but we still had 10 minutes to get ready for the scene

"Whats on your mind" asks Kj

"I think Lili's not feeling well"

"What makes you think that"

"Well I don't know, doesn't she seem a little pale?" I say

"Well she does look a bit pale" Kj answered

"And I think she's also lost some weight, when I carried her she weight nothing, and it honestly scares me" I explained

"She's always been a thin girl, I don't think you need to worry" he says

"Action!" shouts the director

"I think were done with your bike Betty" Says Kj

"Guys I can't thank you enough for...for...ummmm"

"Cut!" shouts the director "Do you need to look at your lines again Reinhart?"

Lili nods and goes to check her line

"Action!" shouts the director for the second time

"I think were done with your bike Betty" says Kj

"Guys i...i...i can't the-thank-"

"Cut!" screams the director looking a bit annoyed

"What is up with you today Lili, you've messed up twice, you never mess up"

"Sorry it won't happen again" said Lili

"Are you feeling well" asked Madeline a bit concerned

"Yeah I'm fine" said Lili

"Are you sure, you look a little sick" I point out

"Yeah I'm completely fi-"

I notice that Lili's having trouble to staying on her feet, I begin to panic and rush over her and then she collapses in my arms.