Chapter 8 :Something for the Pain

I'm in so deep I'm thinking why did I start
And when you fall it happens all too fast
If they make you try and give up some names
You don't wanna mess around
Freedom lives don't let them beat you while
They're breakin' your back
There ain't nobody gonna help you now
So I say

When the sun goes down
Call my name
Yeah, when all the world around you's
Just too hard to take
If it helps you live
I got something for the pain- Something For the Pain, Redlight King

They allowed Lucy to stay the night. The apology seemed to make them more forgiving. Alex played along for the benefits. She had a plan. But it was a risk. And she wasan't sure what she would do if it worked. Carry on with her original plan? Perhaps. But for now just getting far away from here would be good enough.

„Are you asleep?" Lucy asked.

They stayed in the same room. It surprised her that Lucy wanted to stay with her instead of having Moira's old room.

„No."

„You weren't joking before,were you."

„No, I wasn't."

„Yeah, that's kind of cool, in a creepy way."

Alex said nothing. Perhaps Lucy was a little smarter than she gave the girl credit for. She didn't ask any more about it.

„You know. Before this whole mess started. Me and Ash were saving up, planing to get out of here. I hate it. I hate that town. It's been bad ever since dad died. And it seems to get worse there everyday. I just need a car and some cash. You could come with me."

„You're not old anought to drive or have a license."

„I'm almost old enought. And my dad taught me. He let me drive around when there weren't people around."

It seems Lucy was going to be a lot more useful.

„ Thanks for the offer. But first i need to get out of house arest."

„Still, it's kind of nice of them, letting me stay here after everything."

It made her want to laugh, at how they had doubted Natalia, but now that Alex has taken her place they seemd to trust her again. Lucy's sob story made them rethink the whole thing. The forest had not been an attempted escape. They had jumped to conclusions too quick. It seemed that once fall break was over she would be allowed to return to school. But she still had a week till then.

Barry contacted the authorities about Lucy. Her mother was still in the hospital, and would be there for another week. Her stepfather was arrested and confesed. They also took Lucy to the hospital for a proper check up. She was going to stay with them for the week until her mother got out of the hospital.

Barry drove them to Lucy's house so she could pick up her things. Somehow Lucy managed to get him to let Natalia come along. The room was a mess just like it had been.

"You don't really need my help to pack" Alex said looking around the messy room

"I figured you'd want to get out of your room. "

She did. It had been weeks since she left. It made for a nice change. Lucy tossed her things in a bag. One of them was a sketch book. She looked at it. The drawings were detailed. The phoenix she saw in the newspaper. Lucy's dragon. Many others

"See anything you like?" Lucy looked over her shoulder.

"You are good at this" she said closing the book and putting it back.

"I want to make living from it. Become a pro." She took something from a drawer.

It seemed to be somewhat hidden behind other objects. Alex looked at the object not sure what it was. A piece of plastic, a needle, something mechanical taped together.

"I can't afford the good ones so got a homemade one. I really need to try it out so, if you want an ink let me know."

" I don't plan to." She said.

"Well, let me know if your change your mind. "

Pretending to be Natalia around the Burtons and Lucy for a week seemed like a challenge. Lucy didn't know Natalia well enough. But then neither did them. She never paid much attention to the girl's thoughts and feelings, focused on protecting her own secrets. She was aware of Natalia's desire to be liked by Lucy and the potential romantic interest in the girl. Her own interest had always been in men. But it seemed that the attraction was more physical and not a result of Natalia as person. This was going to be interesting.

The machine silently buzzed in the sleeping house. Alex read with her back to Lucy, who was painting a bull skull into her left forearm. The sound was mildly annoying, but it was the act itself that was drawing her attention. Slowly, the vibrating needle digging into her skin, drawing blood and leaving a black line of ink. She pauses, wipes of the blood, dips the needle in ink, and scratches another line. Rhythmic, methodical. The skull is like her other drawings, realistic, detailed, feathers tied to the horns. A web of a broken dreamcatcher behind it. It is beautiful and mournful piece.

"I got the dragon for Ashley." She says, notices her watching "She was the phoenix, rising from the ash. It's stupid but she said that meeting me was like the best thing to happen to her. Like her life had begun anew. And I got the good luck dragon. I always liked that story. When I met her I thought I could be happy with my life again. Like after so many bad things happened, good things would start happening again. But it was all a lie."

Alex remains silent. Remembers. She knows that feeling all too well.

"So the skull, is for me."

Lucy shakes her head.

"No. it's for me. The old me. The me who was with Ash. I just can't be that person anymore."

"You know, I always though tattoos were stupid. Something for criminals and low lives. But the way you give them personal meaning is not." She was being honest.

Lucy gives her a sad smile.

"Thanks, Alex"

She looks at her now. Did she give herself away?

"You don't mind it if I call you that? It feels kind of right." Lucy says.

She smiles.

"I don't."

The next day Lucy is insistent they celebrate Halloween.

"Isn't it for kids? Dressing up and begging for candy, it's dumb" she says.

Natalia liked it but was too shy to go alone and too embarrassed to ask again after being refused once. Alex had never. It was not a holiday they celebrated in the orphanage.

"That's the best part." Lucy said" Free candy!"

Long striped sleeves of her sweater covered her nights work. The image on the sweater was some scene from a movie with a man in hockey mask.

"It's stupid." She repeated. "Besides, I'm still under house arrest, remember?"

"We could still throw a party." Lucy said grinning.

"Don't parties need people? Who are you inviting?"

"A private party. We can watch movies and eat candy and dress up."

It sounded stupid but if she kept resisting it would cause suspicions.

"Alright." She gave in.

"Great. But I need to get a few things first." Lucy said.

It was strange being alone after two days with Lucy constantly there. But it was a nice change. Barry seemed happy about the party. He seemed happy talking to Lucy. Natalia finally had a friend or something along those lines. If they only knew the truth.

She wasn't sure how she felt. This was just a distraction. A way to kill time before she finally was free to act. But should she really involve Lucy? The girl could be smart but also incredibly stupid. Unpredictable. A liability. And yet, probably her only chance to get out of here.

It was dark when they came back. A large pumpkin in Barry's arms. Lucy had two large bags. She burst into the room tossing them on the floor.

"Hey. I got you something!" she began looking around the bag.

It was packet of hair dye.

"You said you wanted to bleach it. We could do that tonight."

"Sure."

"Great. I need to do mine too." She pointed to the tips of her hair that were turning a washed out blueish green.

She took out a bottle of nail polish. Black.

"Could do each other's nails too."

Looking in the mirror and seeing the familiar blond hair felt strange. As much as she wanted it, it also scared her. Was the change too much? Too sudden? Will they suspect her again? And yet she did feel happy, a little bit.

Barry noticed. Looked at her strangely. But said nothing. Lucy was now a mix of black and orange. Letting her hair down from the typical teased up look. It was actually quite long. She watched Barry and Lucy enthusiastically carve the pumpkin and place it outside. Then prepared the snacks for movie night. Sat down to watch some old horror films Lucy picked out, fully expecting it to be horrible. Yet, it wasn't. A part of her found it enjoyable. Seeing the teenagers in the film run away from the killer reminded her of the nights spent testing.

"So who's your favorite one?" Lucy asks. "Mine would have to be Freddy."

"Well he is the most difficult to escape. Nobody can stay awake forever."

"I know." Lucy grins." But having dream powers would be seriously cool"

"Yes, it certainly would." She agrees.

Before she knows it, the week is almost up. She has been allowed to return to school. The time to escape is approaching. She still doubts if taking Lucy along would be any use. Her mind wonders as her eyes look at the page. Lucy peeks over her shoulder.

"You like that dark and depressing stuff, huh?"

She is caught off guard by the comment. The stories give her comfort, familiarity. Remind her of her own truths. She never really thought of them that way.

"You should give this a read. I think you'll like it." Lucy hands her a comic book.

The name on the cover says "Sandman".

"A comic book?" She gives Lucy a look of ,"are you serious?"

"It's really good. It's deep and dark and not for kids."

She takes it. Lucy was actually right. It's not bad.

Before she drifts off she wonders. What it would have been like if she had a friend back then. Some children had formed bonds, made friends. She was always alone. Wanting to appeal to the adults, the teachers, to be the best. Who has time for friends? And yet she wonders if she could have had a friend. Would her life turned out any different? No, it's pointless to think about it. In the end they all ended up dead. Even if she had a friend it would have not changed a thing. It would have hurt even more. Being alone was safer. It helped her survive. And yet it did not mean she wanted to be alone.

She remembers him. He had been everything to her. And yet he was gone. He had left her. Nothing of him remained. All burnt to ash. Nothing to remember him by. If only she had never met him… no.. She could not think like that. The memories, they made her smile, even if it hurt. She missed him. She hated him. For leaving. For dying. She loved him. For being there. It's because of him that she can understand. The pain one feels. They call him a monster and yet he was the one who made her human. Lucy had someone like that. Somebody who was now gone. She can understand it.

"Lucy? Are you asleep?"

Lucy turns on her side.

"Not anymore."

" I want to ask you something."

"Sure."

"I need you help with something. Hear me out first. I remembered something. Something important in all of this. "

"Okay."

"When we were in the forest, you said you saw a building."

"I did. A small one."

"That's probably just the entry way. I remembered that there used to be an old Umbrella disposal facility in the mountains around here."

"No way"

"It's underground somewhere. And that not all. Remember the monster?"

"Holy shit" Lucy went pale. "That thing out there is real B.O.W?"

"Most likely. But that's not all."

"What?"

"Ashley's mother. I recognized her from somewhere and I remembered. She used to be the one in charge of managing the facility. Margarethe something German..i don't remember. I didn't know she got married and changed her name. "

"So you remember all of this from that woman inside your head."

Alex just nodded. "

"Right, this will take time get used to." Lucy said. "But we should tell your stepdad."

"Bad idea. After the forest. If they find out we were near an Umbrella facility everyone would go back to thinking this was an escape attempt and lock me up. "

"So we go down there ourselves?"

"No. if there was a biohazard that escaped the whole place could be on lockdown. But the supervisor should have a panel to monitor the facility in their house. As well away to access the data from the facility's computer. Whatever it is, there should be logs of every B.O.W. that was disposed of. If we get that to Barry then he would have to believe us. "

"So you want to break into their house?"

"Well, they haven't done anything about the thing being lose in fifteen years. "

"You're right. it's like that saying. The lesser of two evils. But can we really pull it off?"

"We'll need to be carefull. Find out their working hours. If they have any security cameras on the property. That sort of thing."

Lucy nods.

When you're filled with doubt
You'll find the weight is fallin'
Oh, you can feel me now your high
Is all that's callin'?

Can we all escape
Help me find a way
Can we all escape
Help me find a way, find a way