Chapter 9 : Bullet With Butterfly Wings

"Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show?
And what do you want? I want to change
And what have you got?
When you feel the same

Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage"- Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins

The needle digs into her skin. Vibrates. It hurts more than she expected but pains is something she is used to. Still in disbelief that she is going thought with it. This feels stupid. But people do stupid things. Now she can say she did a stupid thing too. It feel like that but at the same time it feels right. Like it belongs there. When she saw it something inside her just screamed for this.

Just hours before they Lucy caught her reading.

"Metamorphosis? Isn't that the one where a dude turns into a bug?"

"Yes. " She sighs, frustrated at how Lucy seems to make it seem so banal.

"Yeah, if had to pick. I'd like to be butterfly." She says "One they're beautiful. Two did you ever that the wings of a butterfly can create a typhoon on the other side of the world? It's called the chaos theory."

Alex smiles a little at the thought. Lucy could put an interesting spin on things. Its sounds so like her. But at the same time is sounds awfully optimistic. That even a tiny insect could have a greater impact on the world.

The image is something that was inspired by the shirt she wore that day, or so Lucy claimed. A butterfly that was in fact not a butterfly. It looks innocent from a distance but up close one can see details. Not that Alex would let anyone get close or see it. The upper wings are two skulls looking at each other. One for him. One for herself. The lower wings are their hands reaching. Never touching. Forever apart. The body is the space between them. With ripples coming from under the wings. Like halos over their heads, connecting them. Lucy says it's the chaos rippling thought the world, creating storms. She likes the idea. Smiles despite the pain. It's a silly little thing but she doesn't regret it.

"Let life no more divide, what death can join together."

Alex looks up at Lucy.

"A name. For the tattoo." Lucy says. "I think it fits."

Alex nods. She pulls her shirt down. Get of the mattress. It's getting late.

"Don't get wet it for a few days and don't do any work outs." Lucy is trying to read the messy handwritten notes she had on the after care.

"What was the last one?" she squints" oh yeah, clean regularly."

It' good to be back at the house. Strangely. Perhaps it's just good to be out of that room, out of that house. The black cat rubs against her leg. Purrs. She pets it. Perhaps before she would have kicked it away. But she need to pretend to be Natalia. And really the fur is so soft and warm. It's not as filthy or unpleasant one would expect a wild cat to be .Lucy had been feeding it well.

"So, Friday." Lucy says. "They are both out. I've checked their work schedules at the clinic."

"For how long?"

"Four hours."

"That should be enough time. "

"Ashley should be at school. So the house will be empty."

"So all we need to do now is figure out security." Alex said.

"Can you do that as well?"

"I can check for cameras."

"That'll do."

"I'll take care of the rest."

Still a few days to go. She goes to school. Waits. The week flies by fast.

She lays in bed, waiting. Tomorrow is the day. If she can access the facility. Get into old Umbrella accounts. Money, vehicles for escape, any data she could find in the facility on whatever bio-weapon it was. And then what? The Uroboros sample was lost. Because of her other self. Could she recreate it from memory? The data was probably lost. His legacy was gone. His dream. Her wish to fulfil it – unattainable. She failed. Was there any point in trying to escape? Was there any point to any of it at all? It had not gone according to her plan. Too much was lost. But would it even work if she started again? If she got back to the island would she find anything left? Did Terrasave take all of what was left? Could she get back if she tried? It all seems hopeless.

"You're a failure. Always were. That's why you're only second best." Spencer's words echo in her head.

Even if she escaped would it change anything? The cage seems to follow wherever she goes. Would she even know what to do with her freedom? It seems like her whole life has been spent in the cage known as Umbrella.

"One cannot escape the self, only consume the self" her own words echo back at her.

Who is she? Alex Wesker? Natalia? The teenage girl? The old woman? Umbrella scientist? She doesn't know. She cannon answer and it scares her. She is nothing. Without Umbrella. Without Spencer. Without Him. She doesn't know how to be anything without him. . Who does she want to be? She doesn't know. A Nothing cannot become anything.

Surprisingly there are no cameras around the property. The alarm is not turned on either. They sneak to the back door. Away from the street. The house near the forest. Uphill. Away from all others. Alex takes out the lock pick she stole from Barry. The lock gives in. They stand in the kitchen.

"Where to?"

"Let's look for an office." Alex says.

Lucy moves to the room on left. Alex moves straight ahead. It troubles her that the alarm was disabled. Did they simply forget? Umbrella operatives had high security homes. Especially ones connected to a facility. Had she been wrong? Was this just a regular house? The planning was not standard. All of them were usually built the same way. And yet the woman had been living at this address for more than twenty years.

"Alex" Lucy whispered. "I think I found it

Lucy was standing in a doorway. The room did look like an office. The large desk. Cases with files and folders. Alex began looking around.

"I'd be more help if I knew what we're looking for." Lucy said.

"You know the Umbrella logo? Anything with that." She said.

"Got it."

There was a thump coming from upstairs. Both froze in place.

"There shouldn't be anyone here." Lucy said beginning to panic "Both of their cars were at the clinic. Ashley should be at her school.

"We need to make this fast."

"Maybe it's a cat or something. " Lucy said.

Alex tried to log on to the computer.

"Need a password."

"Try Ashley" Lucy said looking at some files.

"Already did."

"Johnathan?"

"Doesn't work"

"Wait." Lucy took a picture of the shelf, took it out the frame." It's their wedding photo and the date. 2004 09 12"

"Got it. I'm in. Thanks."

She began searching for any files with Umbrella in the name. There were a few. Trying to open one cause a field to pop up. Alex entered her restoration number and password.

"I can't believe they still work."

"You're in?" Lucy rushed over to take a look."

"Yeah. Now it says the data is on the terminal in the facility. And there is no connection to the terminal. It seems that it's impossible to restore remotely.

"Connection lost" blinked on the screen.

"So we have to go in there?" Lucy looked scared.

"No choice." Alex said.

"But what about the thing you said?"

"I'm on it?"

There was a sound of the office door opening.

"Who are you?! What are you doing here?" Ashley in white night gown stood there.

"Shit" Lucy panicked. "Alex"

"Don't move or I'm calling the police." The girl yelled.

"Please don't. This isn't what it looks like." Lucy tried.

Alex finished resetting the security system. The wall of the office began to move revealing a passage way.

"Come on." She called out to Lucy.

The elevator began moving down. It was a long ride. Then the door opened. It was dark but lights soon began turning on. There was a train there. Waiting. Alex moved to the front of the train. Lucy was looking at all the crates.

"Who" she opened one of them to find it full of weapons.

"Take one. We might need it. "

"I don't really know how to handle a riffle" Lucy said.

The train began moving.

"Estimated arrival time is twenty minutes" said the robotic voice

"So, is bad in there?" Lucy asked.

"I don't know. There was a biohazard. The facility computer locked the place down. A special clean up team should have been sent. However the alert was never sent. Somebody manually stopped it and disabled the lockdown. "

"So. Somebody didn't people to come?"

"They must have disabled the facility terminal to do it. To stop the computer from reporting to Umbrella HQ. in other words to keep what happened here a secret." Alex said.

"So, were headed to zombie central?" Lucy took the gun from the crate.

"I doubt it."

"The logs show that the facility has been accessed after that. In fact several times. Last one was about six months ago. This and the lack of an outbreak means that it should be safe. Well, relatively safe."

"Right. It's just a monster in the woods." Lucy began searching the other crates.

The train stopped. The door opened. Lights in the ceiling and floor of the hallway began to light up. The metal double door with the red and white symbol. Alex felt strange seeing it again.

Umbrella. Her whole life was dictated by it. She was a product they created. To serve their purpose. Even before she knew the truth. Everything in her life happened because of them. Because of Spencer. But Umbrella was no more. Spencer was dead. And yet here she was alive. Who would she be without Umbrella? How her life would have been different? Deep down she feel hate for this symbol. In her time working there she was used to it. But now the loathing is all she feels.

She goes to the panel at the door. Types in her code. Door opens. The hall is lit. Other door at the cross shaped intersection.

"Where to?" Lucy asks.

She pauses. Looks at the directions on the sides.

"We need the main control room. It's probably a level or two below us."

"You really know this stuff." Lucy remarks.

"Of course. I 've worked from Umbrella."

"Right. Crazy lady in your head…" Lucy tries to wrap her head around it.

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

"So what if we like open the door and a thing jumps out at us?" Lucy wondered.

"Isn't that why you brought that?" She points to the riffle.

"I don't know how to handle that."

Alex sighs.

"The inner coms." She points to the panels. "Push the button and listen to what on the other side. "

Lucy does that.

"All quiet on the left."

"We need a key card for this door. There should be one in this facility. So let's go find it. "

"You think Ashley called the cops by now?"

"Doesn't matter. It's not like they can enter here."

"Right. It's just us and whatever creepy things are down here."

"Let's get this done fast and get out of here." She says.

A part of her wonders if bringing Lucy into this was a good idea. Another part of her wonders why she is going through with this at all. Even if she escapes nothing will change. It's all pointless. The feeling that she should just die. Realize how pointless it all is. Give up. And just die. It grows. Being in this place just reminds her of all the horror she had go through. And all the things she's done. She could endure it all before because he was there. But he's dead now. Lucy could never take his place. No one could ever take his place.

They enter a room that is large. Full of glass cylinder containers. And in most of them seem to be human embryos of different stages. Some look like babies, or even children. One looks just like Ashley. Lucy looks in disbelief.

"That's Ashley!"

Alex looks around. It's nothing unusual to her. The last contained holds a creature. It's tall and white, sharp claws. The chest area down to the stomach is very long and split open. Sharp teeth like bones grow in the cavity. It's head is small.

"That's the thing from the picture" Lucy says still in disbelief" Why is it here? Why is Ashley here?"

Alex can't bring herself to say it. Lucy seems so genuinely, innocently confused. Steps echo on the hall. Thankfully she doesn't have to answer.

"This is as far as you go." Margarethe enter the room, holding a pistol aimed at Alex.

"Are you growing clones of her?" Lucy questions the woman, still confused.

Margarethe laughs.

"A couple of kids?! I don't know how you got in here. But you won't be leaving." There is hint of a German accent in her voice.

"Answer my god damn question!" Lucy yells.

The woman now aims the gun at her.

"This is a bioweapon we have been developing. It has the ability to reproduce by making copies of itself. We've been looking into ways of making it more hostile."

"What does Ashley have to do with this?"

Alex almost laughs at how naïve the girl can be.

"Ashley." Margarethe laughs" You mean the dormant state of bioweapon? It's quite ingenious. While inactive it looks and acts like a human. It's because of the memories implanted into it. However once active it will lose all memory and become unable change back to human form. "

"No." Lucy shakes her head, falls to her knees "No! Fucking! Way!"

The riffle drops from her hand. Alex drops to floor before Margarethe can aim at her again. Rolls grabs the gun. Releases the lock. Shoots. Rapid fire hits Margarethe. She drops the gun. Drops to the floor. Blood blooming on her white coat. Her arm, shoulder, right side were hit.

Lucy get's up. She's crying.

"You shot her?!"

"She would have shot us both."

Lucy just shakes her head again.

"This is too much. Killing people. Turning them into fucked up monsters. Ashley was her own person!. She had dreams and … fuck." She breaks down sobbing." This is too messed up.."

" That's what Umbrella… that's what I did." It comes out as a whisper.

Saying it makes I real. All the guilt that she buried deep inside. The knowing that it was wrong. Seeing Lucy break down. It reminded her that it was indeed wrong. No matter how many reasons she made up to justify it. No matter the excuses she made. The world saw her the same way Lucy did. As wrong. Horrible. A monster.

"We still have a mission to do." She says.

Lucy looks at her from the floor.

"We have to shut this thing down. Remember that why we're here."

Lucy composes herself, nods.

Alex tempers with the terminal. Powering it back on. Going thought the files. It comes to life. She types in the access code. Takes out her phone. There is still a weak signal. She dial the number. Somebody picks up.

"Hello, you've reached the B.S.A.A"

"Hello, I would like to report an Umbrella facility developing bioweapons at these coordinates… the entrance it at the house of Davis family. " She hangs up.

Lucy looks at her surprised.

"Now what?"

Alex sighs.

"You said you wanted to get out of this town."

"I do. More than anything."

"I can get you out of here." She says. " Davis helped herself to some of Umbrellas fortune when the company went under. I can wire you some money."

Lucy looked at her in disbelief.

"There is a vehicle bay. I will open the hangar and disable the GPS tracking on one of the cars. Take it, the secret tunnel should take you to somewhere on the high way. "

"What about you?"

"I told you. I'm wanted. If I run they will chase me down. They'll arrest you as an accomplice. You will never have any freedom with me around. "

Lucy's eyes are full of tears and gratitude. She takes of her bracelet and puts on Alex.

"Thanks you."

Alex looks at the computer. Tears welling up in her eyes. She blames this surge of emotions on Natalia.

:Just go. Before they get here! Or you'll lose your chance to escape."

She runs. Stops back and yells

"Thank you, for everything!"

Alex doesn't look. Can't look. It hurts. But she realizes that she can't escape. They would follow, search, and hunt her down. There would be no freedom for her. But maybe, she could be the one to pen the cage for somebody else. Set someone else free. There is no hope for her but perhaps there still is hope for Lucy.

They finder her by the terminal. Barry among them. She is crying but not for the reason they all think. They take her in question her. She tells them about how she awoken those memories about the facility in the forest. Its partially true. About how she was afraid they wouldn't trust her. How she wanted to investigate before saying anything. She had erased footage from the cameras of her shooting Margarethe and a few other things that didn't match her story.. She survived. She and her husband was arrested. As for Lucy. She just ran. Saw an opportunity. Say she wanted to get out of this town many times. And then she just ran. The cameras show her getting into the car and driving off. None of the tearful goodbye.

She wonders if they will punish her. Lock her up in a high security prison. Turn her into an experiment? They seem worried, confused. Dr. Haupman shows up.

"I believe that Natalia has more control over Dr. Wesker's memories then I previously thought. Using those memories to stop the experiments instead of escaping. This proves she is capable of resisting the influence."

Everyone just nods in agreement. Unable to process what really happened. Alex smiles to herself. If only they knew. But seems that her life as Natalia will continue for now.

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved
And I still believe that I cannot be saved"