The puzzle of Emma Swan- the big 3000
So here we are. Chapter 3000. Words cannot describe how surreal that is to me that a wee story that was made up of 2 oneshots people had asked me for that I put together to save creating 2 separate stories has turned into something this big. I think it's poetic that OCF will come to an end around the same time as the show itself, but it's not quite over yet. So, for chapter 3000, I made one of my own. Before you read that though, here's a little background story about why I wrote this chapter, and why OCF has meant so much to me since I started writing it. It's a story I've never told anybody, but I think it's about time it got told. Even if it's a little scary putting it out there.
Around starting writing this story, I had a best friend. Well, I thought she was a best friend, but I'll get into that in a minute. Obviously I'm not going to name them, a) they could read this one day (as unlikely as it is) and b) it's just not very classy. Anyway, we met online through a fandom and quickly became close. I was rather young, somewhere around 17/18. She was much older, in her late 20s. I was too young to become concerned over how intense our friendship was. The first thing I did each morning was see if she'd messaged me during the night (we lived across the world from each other) and I quite often fell asleep speaking with her. More often than not, our conversations and what not revolved around me helping her out and providing emotional support. She leaned on me, and I learned to need that. I didn't question that she was rarely there on the very few occasions that I wanted some support. I didn't question that she was the adult in the situation and I was being used. The problem only really began when she left the fandom and became more focused on another. She found other friends through that fandom and, well, she no longer had a use for me. I was dropped like dirt off her shoe. I was effectively useless to her. Sure, out of hurt, I said some things that I probably shouldn't have said, but like I said, she was the adult in the situation. She didn't once try and make things better. She didn't want to. She didn't need me anymore.
Only if you've had your heart broken by a friend rather than a lover will you understand the pain I felt. My heart had shattered into a thousand tiny pieces, and only over the last couple of years can I really say I've put it back together, however fragile it still may be. I will never allow myself to be hurt like that again. I cried myself to sleep too many times to ever risk it. So I don't trust as easily as I did then. I don't let people in as much. I'm not hurt or angry anymore, I wasted too much of my time and energy getting over her, but whilst I was, this story was an enormous comfort to me. I could channel the strong emotions I was feeling into the ones the characters were feeling and through that, I began to heal. I still have anxiety, that will never go away, but I can deal with it much better now. So thank you all for contributing to my healing process, and for taking the time to read this long ass sob story, as well as all my other chapters. It means the world to me that I know people in so many different countries have come across me. In this month alone, I've had views from: USA, UK, Brazil, Canada, Australia, Finland, Guernsey, Netherlands, France, Germany Switzerland, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Israel, Romania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Belgium, Japan, Spain, Peru, South Africa, Sweden, Portugal, Tunisia, Malta, Iceland, Chile, Indonesia, Austria, Guatemala, Argentina, Saudi Arabia, Norway, Denmark, Bulgaria, Columbia, Venezuela, Mexico, New Zealand, China, "Europe" (lol), Thailand, Philippines, Singapore, "Russian Federation", Pakistan and India. Like, wow. Shoutout to all of you in Europe, good luck tonight! Anyway, that fills me with so much joy to know my stories have spread across this little world. I hope they have brought some of you as much joy and as much peace as they have me. Thank you to you all for the support (and expect another longwinded cheesy post along with the actual final chapter ;) ) JMAMK x
It had taken Emma so long to find home. She had been broken when she had arrivied in Storybrooke. A lifetime of hurt, abuse and let downs had left her bitter to the world and reluctant to trust. Then a little boy tracked her down and forced Emma down a path she wasn't sure she was ready to go down. A path that involved opening herself back up again to the potential that there might be someone out there who genuinely loved her. No strings attached, no foster carer allowance, not so they had someone to take the fall for their stolen goods, just for being her.
At first Emma resisted this notion, and this love, with all her might. Henry was persistent though, as were her parents after the curse broke. Well, even before then Mary Margaret wasn't exactly letting Emma off the hook with her emotions. After the curse broke though, it became clear to Emma that there was no way she could run from this now. She had a proper family. People that loved her, people that weren't stop until they had taken her walls down brick by brick so she felt safe with them. Gradually, they managed it. There had been so many times throughout the process that Emma felt like stopping and running away again, but each time one of them grounded her. Her dad would listen to her as she vented. Henry would remind Emma that she was a proper mother now with a responsibility and a son that adored her. Her mom would always know just what to say to keep Emma going. Then when little Neal came along, well, he looked up at his big sister with such awe that Emma knew she could never leave him. Since the day Henry had forced Emma into coming to Storybrooke, her life had changed completely, and completely for the better. She had people she could count on. People she could turn to. Whether that be after a stressful day at work or when she felt like her whole world was going to collapse. There was always somebody there Emma had to lean on. In return, she was there to be leant on. She had people that needed her as much as she needed them. Her family was like a jigsaw puzzle. It didn't work unless all the pieces were there, no one piece was of more importance than the other. With only one piece missing, the whole point was lost. She was a part of this puzzle alongside her parents, her son and her brother. Now she was with them all, she realised why she felt so lost throughout her life. Why she felt she never really fit in anywhere else. She was only complete when she found the rest of her puzzle pieces.
