A/N: Just finished my first playthrough of DAO and was still really pining for Alistair after he and my Warden went separate ways. This really scratched the itch for a bit more development of angsty, frustrated Alistair betraying his heart for the good of his people. Hope you enjoy!


Alistair took another swig of the mead in his cup. He had hoped that each sip would chase his fellow warden further from his mind, but he found that it was only having the opposite effect. Each sip brought his mage's face into sharper detail and only increased the longing he was working so desperately to repress. He instantly reprimanded himself. "Silly Alistair, she's not 'yours' anymore." Inebriated though he may be, Alistair always gave solid advice. After they had agreed to go their separate ways, he no longer had the right to call her "his," no matter how badly he still wanted to. Perhaps the whole matter would be solved with just a few more sips.

When he realized there was nothing left to slake his thirst, Alistair looked down at his cup and suddenly found it empty. He turned his eyes away from his empty glass and stared blearily at the room around him. The candles were nearly burned to the wicks, wax dripping along the base of the silver candelabra. Glancing through the narrow window, Alistair noted that the first rays of dawn would stretch across the horizon before much more time had passed. He could postpone no longer. It was time.

All too soon he found himself standing before the witch's door. He raised his fist to knock, but the door swung open before he could make contact. She scanned him head to toe before opening the door further with a knowing smirk. "And here I thought you weren't coming." She did not step aside, forcing Alistair to brush past her in order to make his way into the room.

He stood at the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the laces of his tunic. "Let's get this over with." Morrigan's laugh curled across his shoulder. He hadn't heard her close the door and step so close to him. Her breath sent a shiver down his spine. His hands stilled with the top of his laces undone. Feeling her breath so close made him feel more exposed than he would actually removing his clothing. Something about her cut straight past his defenses to his very core.

"Awfully eager, aren't we?" Her voice was a husky whisper as she brushed her fingers across the wide plane of his shoulders. As she crossed the muscular expanse of his back, she felt him flinch at her touch. Morrigan barked out another laugh. "Don't worry, I won't bite unless you ask me to." She brought her lips to his earlobe. "What do you say, hmm? Would you like me to take a nibble?"

Alistair's fingers balled into fists at his side. His lips formed a tight line as turned his head away from Morrigan's teasing lips. "I'm not here for games, Morrigan. I'm only here because... she... asked me to be."

"My, you do know how to flatter a woman," Morrigan purred sarcastically. She made her way to the heavy oak side table and poured them each a goblet of wine as dark as the midnight sky. Back at Alistair's side, she held a goblet out to him. When his fingers wrapped around it, she held firm, using the chance to meet his eyes. Upon seeing the deep sadness in his stare, she adopted a more serious tone. "I did not devise this plan merely to toy with you. True, this began as Flemeth's design, but I have also grown to care for Alyrra." Alistair ripped the goblet from her fingers and took a long swig as Morrigan pressed on. "I would no more wish to see her give herself to this Blight than I would see her try to carry on with a gaping hole left where you once stood."

Alistair scoffed and took a seat on the bed, leaning his head against the carved wooden bedpost. How could this unfeeling witch profess to know anything about a heart's desire? "You know nothing of how she feels."

Morrigan laughed again as she sat down next to him."By the gods. Each time I ask myself, 'Can this fool get any stupider?' and somehow the answer is always 'yes.'" Alistair glared at her as he continued to drink from his goblet. "Dense as you are, that woman loves you dearly. I cannot pretend to fathom why she feels this way, but it is plain as day to all but you." As Alistair continued to sulk in silence, Morrigan released a heavy sigh. "Surely even you can see how much she has sacrificed for you." At this, Alistair looked up again, meeting her stare once more. "Despite her feelings for you, she stepped aside to allow you to rule. She also fought on your behalf to prevent you being shackled to that bitch, Anora."

"Mary Anora? Over my dead body," Alistair grumbled. "I didn't even wish to be king, but it would be another misery entirely to endure that role with Anora as my companion."

Morrigan offered a wry chuckle at his look of revulsion. "You may be surprised how hard Arl Earmon himself pushed for just such a union. Crafty little weasel she may be, but she would have offered a strong alliance and further legitimized your own claim to the throne. However, Alyrra knew such a union could never make you happy and fought for your chance to rule alone, even if it meant she could no longer stay by your side."

Alistair told himself for the hundredth time that they had made the right choice, that two Grey Wardens, one of whom was an elf, could only cause further instability for Ferelden. But of course the words wrang hollow, and he hated that Morrigan of all people was the one pointing it out to him. He could try to pretend otherwise, but only Alyrra had his heart. He couldn't imagine a day when she wouldn't. Morrigan was waiting for a response, so he tried to put words to the tangle of emotions within. "Look, even though we can't… that doesn't mean, I…. That is to say, I still…." Alistair would have kept stammering on had Morrigan not lain a palm against his chest.

"I did not ask you here for love, Alistair. Nor did Alyrra, for that matter. Despite your current circumstances, do you think she was eager to see you lie with someone else?" He bristled, but she kept her hand upon him, sliding her palm slowly over the muscles of his chest up to the hard line of his jaw. "She sent you here because she could not bear to see you sacrifice yourself on her behalf, and you are here for the very same reason. And now I am here to offer another solution. Rather than you lovebirds falling over yourselves to save the other, you need only spend the night with me. You find this a much more agreeable solution, yes?"

Alistair sat up straighter, but did not recoil from Morrigan's touch. He made another futile effort to clear the elven maiden from his mind. He could not stand to think of her here when he was to bed another woman. Even so, his mind was flooded with images of Alyrra wrapped in his arms. He pictured her full lips tracing over his skin, imagined the soft curves of her breasts beneath his palms. The harder he tried to push her away, the further she intruded on his thoughts until he could not breathe without inhaling the phantom of her scent. He felt his temper beginning to flare. Why could he not harden his heart against the woman he could no longer have? At long last, he brought his focus back to the raven-haired woman beside him. "I am… willing to do my duty."

"Do your duty, mm?" Morrigan slid her fingers along his jaw to Alistair's chin. She shook it in her grasp as she said "Are you always such a serious idiot?"

With a snarl, Alistair grabbed her hand, removing it from his face. This wretched woman was treating him like a dog. She incensed his temper at every turn, and his blood was beginning to boil. "Insult me one more time…"

A light danced in Morrigan's eyes now. He watched her full, dark lips curve into another infuriating grin. "Oh, don't stop now that you have my attention. You'll what? Level more threats as empty as your skull?"

"Enough!" he snapped, tugging her hand so that their faces were only inches apart. "You try my final nerve." Alistair's breathing was ragged as he fought with the final vestiges of his self control.

The light in her gaze was undeniable now. She was enjoying this, taking pleasure in rousing his temper.. Her sarcastic humor bled to something darker, something equal to Alistair's own surge of emotions. "And what if you let it go, hmm? What if you finally released that thin veneer of control masking how you truly feel?" Her questions carried an undeniable gravity. The tone of her voice was no longer mocking, but beckoning. She called to something primal within him, and Alistair felt himself stir at her words. "What if for once in your simple life you stopped doing what was noble and instead let yourself give in to your baser instincts?" She was closer now. So close that her breath danced across the skin of his face. "What if you let your passions take charge, just for a single night?"

Alistair felt his pulse racing. Somehow, Morrigan had gotten under his skin, just as her barbs always seemed to do. Only now, there was a silence where the voice guiding his self-control would normally be. He couldn't hear anyone telling him to play nice or to be the bigger person. He couldn't hear her. All he heard was the thrumming pulse in his veins coupled with the desire telling him to unleash himself upon the woman before him. She was willing - had orchestrated this whole event, even. Why shouldn't he let every bit of anger, frustration, and unrequited desire loose and see where it led him?

All he heard in response was silence, and for once, he was grateful.

Without another thought, Alistair brought his mouth against Morrigan's. Her lips parted for his, ready to receive the full force of his embrace. He forced his tongue into her mouth, and was rewarded with a soft moan from Morrigan as she slid her tongue along his with equal fervor.

He felt her hands undoing the final strings of his tunic, and then it was off and his torso was bare before her. She ran her fingers over the rippling muscles of his chest, shoulders and back. When her lips and tongue began to follow the same path, Alistair let loose a growl from deep within and felt his cock stir with more than a flicker of desire.

Groaning, he pushed her off of him roughly and hastily began to remove the trappings keeping Morrigan's clothing covering her lithe frame. Once her chest was bare, he pulled her into his lap, laving his tongue across the mound of each breast. Her attire left them nearly always on display, and he felt a sense of possessive satisfaction to be claiming them now. Within moments, he had one of her nipples in his mouth and began sucking and licking the hardened point until Morrigan cried out. The sound that escaped from her throat was one of breathy desire. Alistair felt a wave of satisfaction roll over him, bringing his cock to full attention. She was as utterly lost to this moment as he was, and no amount of scheming could let her maintain control once he found the places that overwhelmed her with pleasure.

Alistair pressed his mouth to her other breast as his hand slid beneath the few scraps of cloth clinging to the ever-dampening space between her legs. He moaned against her the soft flesh of her breast as his fingers found her entrance, already slick with desire. He greedily pressed two fingers inside of her and felt Morrigan arch her back as she gasped in pleasure at his touch. He began to pump his fingers in and out of her in time with her hips grinding against his palm. Each time he stroked her walls, Morrigan released cries that grew louder with every descent onto his hand. Sensing that she was close to her climax, Alistair grabbed her roughly by the hip, locking her body in place while his long fingers curled against her insides. She squirmed against his touch, which only made him tighten his grip. With a sudden sharp cry, he felt a new surge of wetness against his fingers as her insides convulsed against his touch.

He slowly withdrew his fingers and pulled back, eager to see the effect her climax would have on her countenance. Sure enough, a rosy blush dusted the alabaster skin of Morrigan's cheeks and breasts. Her breasts looked slightly swollen from his attentions, and her nipples that had already been hard were now sharp peaks that looked to be causing her a pleasurable ache.

As his eyes traveled across her body, he found her staring at him. For once there was no mockery in her gaze, only two dark orbs shining with want. He felt his breathing turn ragged again. That look matched his own. Every inch of his body was taut with desire, eager to take his pleasure with her.

Morrigan once again drew Alistair's chin into her hand, but this time followed it up with another wave of her lips crashing against his. She was even hungrier this time, intent on him yielding to her control. Alistair did not submit, but instead pushed against her with equal intensity until she was completely astride his lap and his hardened length pushed against her bare flesh from within the confines of his breeches. Morrigan ground her hips against his, pressing herself up and down his sheathed length. This time it was Alistair's turn to moan a deep and throaty growl that he could not control. He ached to be inside her, wanted to force her to feel the effects of the desire she stirred within him.

With a low grunt, Alistair pushed Morrigan from his lap and stood to remove his breeches. While she was reeling from the change of position, he caught her by the shoulder and pushed her down until she was on her knees before him. A dark gleam sparkled in Morrigan's eye. He could clearly see that she enjoyed his rough treatment, that every moment he abandoned propriety and let his lust guide his motions stirred her desire even further. Capitalizing on this, Alistair quickly freed his length with one hand and used the other to bring Morrigan's face to his aching member. Rather than parting her lips for him, she began with her tongue, licking up the liquid that formed at the tip of his shaft. Alistair moaned uncontrollably, arching his entire body toward her touch. Every flick of her tongue was a moment of exquisite torture that he was simultaneously desperate to stop and eager to continue.

After a few more moments, she put him out of his misery and took his aching cock deep within her throat. Alistair groaned again, a low noise that carried all of the desire he couldn't force into words. Pleasure radiated from his pulsing member buried in her throat all along his body. He fisted his fingers in Morrigan's hair, holding her close to the base of his shaft as he began to fuck her mouth. He pumped in and out of her wet lips, encouraged by the feeling of her fingers desperately digging into his bare ass. The pleasure continued to build as he thrust himself in her harder and more vigorously until he was moments from his release. With great effort, he withdrew his cock and stood panting before her open mouth, desperately warring with himself to regain his composure. The sight of Morrigan still kneeling before him, eyes burning darkly and her lips parted and slick with saliva nearly undid him again.

While he struggled to reign in his pleasure, Morrigan stood from her position before him, now completely exposed, running her hands over his taut torso until both of her hands clasped behind his head. Her entire body pressed against him, and he could feel the slickness from between her legs pooling against his thigh. She pulled him down to her for one more kiss that was a war for dominance neither was willing to cede.

As her tongue tangled with his and their matching groans continued to fill the air, Alistair ran his hands along Morrigan's frame. He moved from the soft lines of her neck to the generous mounds of her breasts, sliding across her hips and coming to rest under the curve of her buttocks. In one smooth motion, he lifted her and sat on the bed, sheathing himself to the hilt as he settled her in his lap. They groaned in simultaneous pleasure has she adjusted to his full length inside of her. She was wet and needy, her walls already contracting gently around him in her desire to be filled. Alistair gave himself completely to the sensation of being buried in her warmth. He was reduced to a single aching point already beginning to thrust within her.

In the next breath, they began the race they knew would take them both over the edge. Alistair shoved himself deep within her as Morrigan ground her hips up and down his length, riding him from base to tip. A near blinding light of pleasure cascaded across his vision each time her wet lips were buried around his entire length. She brought her mouth to his neck, sucking his flesh hard between her lips, then soothing the skin with her tongue. Each wave of intensity sent a shiver through his whole body and forced him to thrust within her a bit harder. Every thought was lost to him save the need to satisfy himself within her depths.

As Alistair continued to pump harder and faster, he heard Morrigan's breathing change. First it was a series of rapid inhalations that sent shivers along his shoulder and spine, quickly followed by a sharp intake of breath and a languid moan of utter pleasure. Her walls began to flutter around his aching length and it was suddenly more than he could take. He pressed her entire body against his as he delivered several final thrusts and spent himself inside her. He cried out with every jerk of his cock and pressed his lips against her sweat-dampened neck as he squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered in release.

Try as he might, when his eyes closed, there was only one face he could see. A face that had looked at him with determination from the midst of a battle as often as it had looked at him with desire and satisfaction from their tent at night. A pair of deep green eyes that carried more love for him than he could ever afford to deserve in his current position.

With a jolt of pain, Alistair snapped his eyes back open to find Morrigan sucking lightly on the tip of his thumb. She pulled her lips back a moment later, blood from his finger still dotting her lip. He cradled his finger to his chest as she withdrew herself from his lap and began to collect her garments from the floor. "And now, the ritual is complete," she stated matter of factly as she replaced her undergarments.

Alistair removed himself from the bed in a daze. He stumbled numbly into his breeches, beginning to wonder just what was in the wine Morrigan had offered him. Had she laced it with something that was now making his head feel foggy, or was that simply the after effects of whatever ritual she had just performed? He moved over to where Morrigan was standing, each step feeling as though he was wading through knee-deep mud. She held his tunic in her hands and had a knowing smile on her lips. "Fear not, my brave little warrior," she crooned as she placed the tunic on his head and helped him work his deadened limbs through the sleeves. "You have performed your duty well. You and your love shall have nothing to fear from slaying the archdemon."

In a blink, Alistair was standing in front of Morrigan's closed door, his breeches misbuttoned and his tunic unlaced. He stared at the stone floor of the hallway in mild confusion. How had he gotten here? Were his cups of drink finally catching up with him? Had it all been some sort of dream? He rounded the corner back to his chambers and stopped dead in his tracks.

Standing there before him was the woman he had spent all evening doing his best to forget. Her red hair fell loose to her shoulders, and her caramel skin peeked through the soft white fabric of her nightdress. He watched her take in his appearance and saw a wall of ice form in those deep green eyes as she calculated where he must have been. She opened her mouth to speak and had to clear her throat several times before she could create words. "I am…. glad to see that you are well. It seems that neither of us should worry about being sacrificed to the archdemon now."

"Alyrra…" Alistair's voice was a hoarse whisper as he staggered toward her. He made it no more than a few inches before she was already retreating.

"No, Alistair, you owe me no explanation." He could clearly see that the words pained her, but she held a steady tone of voice. "This is for the best. Ferelden deserves a kind and just king, as I know you shall be. All we must do is defeat the archdemon, and you shall be exactly the ruler your people need." He tried to step toward her again, but she backed up to the door of her own room. She looked at the floor now, voice beginning to quaver as she could no longer hold his stare. "Truly, Alistair, anything was worth it so long as you shall live. I knew you would try to sacrifice yourself for me if I accepted the burden, but now… Now you shall have a future."

Neither of them needed to say the words that she had left unspoken. They both knew that a future without the other might grant them life, but would be a hollow shell compared to the joy they had once shared together.

Alistair took one more step toward her, but Alyrra opened her door and stepped inside. "No, Alistair. We both know this is for the best." She shut the door firmly behind her. The sound echoed along the stone corridor with finality, just as Alistair's heart fractured irreparably.