a/n: I feel like I do this every single time, but because I just had so much to write in this chapter, I couldn't fit everything I wanted in it. So, I've changed this to a three-part fic.
21st April 2020
"Ah, so I'm finally meeting the elusive Vicky," Tom grinned, holding out his hand to the brunette woman. She took it and he raised hers, kissing the back of it. "And, if I may say, you are even more gorgeous than Michelle let on."
Michelle delivered a swift, sharp slap against his shoulder.
"Pack it in, you," she warned, as Vicky eyed her in suspicion. There was a hint of a pleased blush across the Irish woman's cheeks.
"Every time I mention a name that he takes to be female," Michelle rolled her eyes, before mocking him, "Is she fit? Is she single? Honestly, what's that you reek of?" She leant in and pretended to sniff his aftershave, before confirming, "desperation."
"Oi!" Vicky tutted and Michelle whipped around, wide eyed and sorry looking.
"Oh, I didn't mean—"
But Vicky laughed and gently cut her off.
"I'm teasing," she grinned and when Michelle still looked sheepish, added, "although, feel free to expand on how gorgeous you've been telling everybody I am."
Michelle just rolled her eyes and pushed a wine glass into her hand. Helen and Barry, despite Michelle's protests, had insisted on inviting close family and friends over to celebrate her birthday. The house was full of chatter, laughter, loud renditions of songs. It was slightly made up for, as she watched her mother rush around the house fretfully and place coasters under cans and glasses.
"You can put your bag in there," Michelle indicated to the cloak closet door, "I'll take it up, later. You don't mind bunking with me again, do you?"
Vicky had arranged for Tyler to have Sonny; she'd had to bribe him massively since it he'd had to rearrange his shift.
"As long as there's a sick bucket on your side," Vicky smirked.
"Ah, is that our 'Chelle not handling her liquor, again?" Tom grinned, slinging his arm around his cousin, who tried to fend him off. "I tell you, once, we were about... fourteen...or was it fifteen? Nah, it must have been fourteen, she was up the duff at fift—"
"Do you want a slap?" Michelle asked him, but Vicky hushed her and looked up at Tom, expectantly.
"Anyhow," he continued, swigging from the can in his hand, "we broke into my mam's liquor cabinet, on the sly while she was out. Me, our Li, Paul, 'Chelle and Carla. Did you meet Carla? Ah, she's a cracker—"
"Yeah, I met her," Vicky nodded, side eyeing Michelle before darling to add, "aye, she's a stunner that one."
"You fancied Carla?" Michelle suddenly interrupted.
"No, I just think she's good looking," Vicky shrugged, before kinking her brow, "You know, like you think I am," she finished, with a wink.
"Right, so we break into the liquor cabinet," Tom pressed on, looking put out that he didn't seem to have quite as much of Vicky's attention as he wanted. Michelle groaned, she didn't need to hear the rest of this story. Helen suddenly beckoned her over to greet the guests that had just arrived and she left the two to laugh together, probably at her expense. If Vicky managed to survive the evening, maybe they were firm friends.
Vicky indulged Tom for as long as it took him to suggest they exchanged numbers. She told him politely that she wasn't looking for anything more with him and excused herself to the bathroom. Her head span slightly from the amount of wine as she picked up her bag from the closet; she decided she might as well take that up on her way. As she made her way along the landing, she heard Michelle's voice in one of the rooms. The door was half-open and it sounded like she was in conversation. Vicky realised she sounded tearful.
"I know, I miss you too. I miss all of you," Michelle spoke into her phone screen, her eyes full of tears. "I'm going to have to go but, I'll speak to you soon."
"Okay, darling. You take care, I love you."
"I love you, too."
The phone call ended and she heard the other woman sniff. Vicky hesitated, before knocking on the door.
"Hey, are you alright?"
Michelle jumped and plucked a tissue from the dispenser on her bedside table, before dabbing beneath her eyes.
"Yeah, I was just speaking to Carla and Ryan."
Vicky placed her bag down by the door and moved into the room. She reached out and placed a gentle hand on Michelle's arm, her eyes creased sympathetically.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Michelle nodded, taking a slightly shaking breath in.
"I hate seeing you upset," Vicky sighed, rubbing her hand against the top of her arm. The sleeve of her dress ruffled slightly at the action and her fingertips grazed against her skin.
"Say something to make me laugh."
"Putting me on the spot, there," Vicky said, puffing her cheeks out, "Um... Your cousin put the moves on me and I had to turn him down."
Michelle blanched, shaking her head.
"My cousin being a prat doesn't cheer me up."
Vicky let out a gentle laugh.
"My middle name's Patricia."
Michelle let out a gentle exhale of laughter through her nose, a content hum of amusement escaping from her lips. She looked sceptical.
"Michelle, I'm being serious..."
Her mouth fell open then and she let out a proper bark of laughter, her hands flying up to cover her the lower half of her face.
"Oh, God, I think that's more devastating than funny," she giggled, causing Vicky to narrow her eyes.
"Well, tell your face that, because it looks very amused," Vicky replied hotly, though she was grinning at her.
"I suppose we've all got flaws," Michelle tormented. Her eyes were shining, but no longer with sadness. Vicky's hand left her shoulder and instead she stroked the back of her finger down her cheek.
"I usually keep that to myself, it's a good job I like seeing you smile."
Michelle's eyes found hers one more, she looked touched at her words and Vicky couldn't help herself. She cupped her cheek, stepped forward and pressed her lips against the other woman's. She stayed for less than a second before pulling away, looking terrified.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry..."
Michelle looked shocked, she raised her hand and pressed her fingertips against her mouth, as though trying to work out what had happened.
"I'm so sorry," she panicked, taking a step back. "I shouldn't have done that, you've had a drink, I've had a drink..." She picked up her bag and continued backing away towards the door. "I'll go, I'm sorry."
Michelle snapped out of the trance she was in then, when Vicky disappeared from the room.
"Vicky, don't—" She followed her out, leant over the landing banister, but Vicky had already got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Vicky, wait!"
By the time Michelle had reached the front door, she'd gone. The path was clear, it was too dark to see down the street and Helen's demanding shout came from behind her.
"Michelle, you're letting all the heat out! Close the door, we're doing your cake."
8th May 2020
Vicky hadn't seen Michelle since her birthday. Today would have been the day they'd met at the cafe, but she'd not gone and she'd missed the last one, too. The only contact she'd had with the other woman was the message she'd sent in response to Michelle's concerned one asking if she'd got home safely the evening she'd fled from Helen and Barry's house: she wouldn't have had her worry. She flopped onto the sofa, letting out an agitated sigh. She'd been battling with herself, constantly. This was absolutely the one person she could definitely not be involved with. Her phone vibrated and she picked it up. It was odd, how her heart could simultaneously leap and sink.
1 new message from: Michelle Connor.
I went to the cafe, again. Please stop avoiding me. I want to talk to you xx
She picked up the wine glass from the coffee table and took a generous gulp. Sonny was in bed, Tyler was at work and she'd decided to give in to drowning her sorrows. Half an hour later, Michelle messaged her again.
1 new message from: Michelle Connor.
I thought we were friends?
Vicky's eyes filled with tears and she tapped out a shaking response.
To: Michelle Connor.
I don't think we should be anymore. I'm sorry.
She didn't get a response after that. Her lip trembled and she threw the phone down. She supposed she couldn't expect one; she'd just broken her friendship with the other woman, why would she argue? Michelle was the type who'd accept it and move on. But as Vicky drained the remaining dregs of wine from the bottle, she found her hand snaking towards her phone again and she picked it up.
Michelle, I don't want to be your friend, because I don't think I can be. I care about you, a lot more than I should. My feelings for you have surpassed friendship. I didn't mean for it to happen, I never thought it would happen. I know it's ruined everything and I didn't want to tell you, but I just didn't want you thinking you'd done anything wrong. You've brought so much light to my life, I've loved spending time with you. I wish I did just feel for you as a friend because I'm going to miss you so much. I'm so sorry, take care xxx
Vicky hovered over the message, even in her wine addled brain she knew it'd be a risk to send. What was the point in burdening Michelle with that? Even if she wasn't completely disgusted, nothing could happen between them. She sighed and exited the messaging app.
Message saved as draft.
27th May 2020
"Shh, shh..." Vicky continued to soothe Sonny, whose eyes had finally fallen closed after he'd spent half an hour fighting sleep. She rocked him gently in her arms, the sound of the rain that hammered on the window provided a comforting white noise as she laid him in his cot. She closed the door to, then jumped as the apartment buzzer sounded.
"For Gods sake," she hissed, quickly rushing to the door. Tyler had left barely fifteen minutes earlier to meet his mates in town and she assumed he'd come back for his keys. She pressed the button to allow him into the building and waited.
"It's a good job you didn't wake your brother, or else I'd have—"
She stopped short.
Michelle had pushed the door open. She was in a shiny, black coat that was speckled with rain and she had that beanie hat on again which made Vicky have to fight to keep the smile from her face.
"You shouldn't assume you know who it is, I could have been anyone..."
"What're you doing here?" Vicky asked. Michelle's face fell slightly and she realised how rude she must have sounded. "I just mean, I wasn't expecting— you didn't call—"
"You'd have ignored me if I had."
Vicky stayed silent and dropped her gaze to the floor. She was unsure what to say, until Michelle broke the silence with a quiet admission.
"I miss you..."
She looked up. Michelle's eyes were wide and longing, her lips set in what could have just been a pout. It almost made Vicky laugh out loud, her lips twitched, but then she realised she must have caused the other woman so much confusion. She looked genuinely upset and Vicky's stomach twisted uncomfortably.
"Michelle..."
"It was just a kiss, I was never mad."
Vicky pushed her hand through her hair. She wished she'd have known she was coming, she was dressed in leggings and a sloppy t-shirt that had Sonny's milk stained on one shoulder of it. Her hair was unruly, she hadn't styled it fully and some of the curls were clumped and knotted. But then, she'd never cared before, so why was she worried now? Michelle was dressed casually, too, but somehow the soft, blue jumper beneath her coat and her ruffled hair from her hat looked endearing. Vicky should tell her to go.
"I brought that film," Michelle continued, digging around in her bag and producing a DVD, "the one you said you liked but they hadn't put it up on Netflix..."
She held it up, hopefully and Vicky found she had no resolve.
"Take your coat off, come and get warm."
Michelle sighed in relief and once she'd discarded her coat, went over to give Vicky a hug. She returned it hesitantly and let go quick.
"Go and stick it on, I'll get us both a drink."
12th June 2020
Occasionally, they still met at the cafe. But their catch-up's mostly consisted of coffee at Vicky's, or walks along the beach with Sonny, weather permitting. It rained less, now, but Sonny was teething and having a bad day so when Michelle turned up at Vicky's she immediately offered to make the drinks.
"Sorry, I look a state, I've been up with him half the night," she yawned, rocking him in her arms. He was a lot more content now, with the teething mitt Michelle had bought for him attached to his hand, which seemed glued to his mouth. "This has worked a charm. You're a star, you."
"Look, if you want to get your head down for an hour, I can watch him..." Michelle offered, placing Vicky's drink down on the counter.
"I can't ask you to do that...I'll manage..."
Michelle walked over to her. She stroked over Sonny's hair fondly, and then met Vicky's gaze.
"You're doing an amazing job, don't feel guilty if you need a bit of respite. It's hard work..."
Vicky hesitated, but the other woman moved closer and held her shoulder, gently.
"We'll be fine, I can take him on a walk or get him down to sleep..."
Vicky looked down at him; he was as used to and as fond of Michelle's presence as she was now. And if she could just get another hour's undisturbed rest, she might even be able to sort her hair out properly...
"Chelle, thank you..."
"It's no problem."
Michelle held out her arms as Vicky passed her son over, who offered Michelle a very gummy smile. He had two bottom teeth sprouting from his gums, though it was the upper reddened ones at the back causing him issue.
"Aww, poor baby," Michelle cooed softly, "have you kept mummy up all night?"
As though he knew, he let out a giggle and Vicky gave an amused little scoff.
"Wake me up in an hour, okay? Don't feel like you have to have him longer."
Michelle just rolled her eyes and leant in, quickly kissing her cheek. Vicky prayed that they wouldn't heat up with the blush she felt ripple down the back of her neck.
"Go and get some sleep, Vicky."
26th June 2020
"And we thought summer in Manchester was bad, listen at that!" Michelle laughed, peering through the window as the ever-consistent rain hammered down.
"I can't believe it's June and I've got still my heating on," Vicky shivered, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands. Michelle rummaged through her film collection and plucked one out.
"Shall we get under the duvet, make a morning of it?"
They were few and far between at her parent's house and, after spending her working hours on her feet checking in customers and arguing with them about extra-charges on their bills for drinks consumed, being able to unwind was something that Helen deemed a wasted day when there was always silver to polish, shelves to dust and plants to prune in the garden.
"Yeah, hang on, I'm just checking Tyler has his key."
Vicky picked up her phone and fired off a quick message, then nodded to Michelle.
"Go through, I'm just going to have a look at Sonny."
Maybe it was due to her history, but Vicky checked on him a lot when he slept. Michelle never mentioned it, though, just smiled fondly; Vicky loved him so much, despite the fact that (Michelle got the feeling) she'd not had quite enough of it herself growing up. Beside her, Vicky's phone lit up.
Message failed to send.
"Vic, your text didn't go through."
"Resend it for us, please," She called from the bedroom, where Sonny's incoherent babbling could be heard, "I'm just changing this one."
Michelle picked up the phone along with the DVD and shuffled into the bedroom. She slotted it into place and sat down on the edge of the mattress as she clicked on the notification. The failed message saved to drafts and took her straight to them. Her thumb hovered over the one addressed to Tyler, but her eyes fell to one that began with her own name.
By the time she'd read through to the end of it, her heart was thudding.
"He must be shattered, he's fast on ag—" Vicky broke off as she walked into the bedroom, to find Michelle staring hard at the phone screen, her mouth slightly parted. Slowly, she looked up and the colour drained from the other woman's face.
"Vicky..."
"I was drunk."
Michelle put the phone on the bedside table and Vicky took a step backwards, as though afraid of it. She couldn't run, now. Not from her own home.
"So, you didn't mean it?"
Vicky opened her mouth to respond, but nothing would come out. Her mind was numb, blank, but the panic in her chest burned and then her eyes did too and her vision blurred.
"I..." She trailed off when her breath hitched.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
Vicky closed her eyes and swallowed. Michelle was patient and if she'd have opened her eyes, she'd have seen her expression was soft.
"Why do you think?" Vicky whispered, her breath still catching. She opened her eyes and blinked the tears away. She looked suddenly vulnerable, like they were back in that hotel room all over again. "I'm trying to be your friend; I want to be your friend..." Her voice cracked then and Michelle made a move as if to get off the bed, but Vicky covered her mouth with her hands and took another step back. "I'm sorry... I thought... you'd be disgusted with me."
Michelle's brow creased.
"Why?"
"Because... We slept in the same bed and I didn't tell you. I didn't tell you how I felt, even though I knew. What if a man had done that?"
Michelle didn't answer straight away. She thought about what she knew, the relationship they'd developed over the year, how she felt in Vicky's presence.
"There's a crucial difference, Vic."
She held out her hand and Vicky just looked at it for a moment, but Michelle beckoned her over. She wrapped her fingers around the other woman's and sat down beside her. They were side by side, until Michelle turned to face her, a small smile on her lips.
"I know I'm safe with you."
It took a moment for the words to sink in, but when they did, the fear left Vicky's eyes and a smile slowly worked its way across her lips. Michelle reached out and briefly brushed the knuckle of her finger beneath her chin.
"Can we still watch the film?"
At Vicky's nod Michelle swung herself around into the bed properly and peeled back the corner of the cover, patting the space next to her. Vicky picked up the remote as she settled next to her and played the film. There was little to catch-up on, now. Not when they saw each other so often. But they found they didn't always need to speak. It was enough to be in each other's company. Michelle tentatively leant in, resting her head against her shoulder.
Vicky didn't react for a second, or maybe she'd frozen. Then, she lifted her arm and Michelle was suddenly tucked beneath her, her arm wrapped over her. She settled her own against the top of Michelle's, stroked over the material of her jumper, then trailed them further until they brushed over her hair. Michelle pulled her eyes away from the screen and tilted her head, meeting hers.
"My middle name's Sinead," she said, quietly.
"Michelle Sinead," Vicky smiled, gently, as she continued to stroke over her hair. The other woman nodded and her eyes fluttered shut briefly when Vicky's thumb traced over her brow.
"There's a type of rose with my name, you know?" Vicky said, a little glint in her eye as she added, "a pink one."
Michelle let out a quiet hum of amusement.
"La Reine Victoria. When I was born my granny and granddad planted a whole row of them down their garden."
"Victoria..." Michelle repeated, softly, her voice barely a whisper. She'd heard it as a Street name, she'd lived there, it had just been a name, but now it felt different on her tongue. "That's really pretty."
Vicky's eyes were very blue, like Sonny's, and they were creased with happiness at the edges.
"Maybe it should have been your name, then."
Michelle shook her head gently and reached up. Vicky's hair was down, curls spilled over her shoulder; she pushed them back and tucked them behind her ear, then settled her hand at the back of her hair and coaxed her closer, until their heads almost touched.
"No, it's well suited to you."
Vicky didn't breathe. When Michelle tilted her head, she felt her nose brush against her own just seconds before her lips did. The kiss was light, brief but when Michelle pulled away, she only hovered for a second before leaning in once more. She kissed her again, firmly, and when she knew she was sure, Vicky responded. She held her face, combed her fingers through her hair and the pressure of Michelle's mouth against her own increased. Vicky kept one hand on her cheek and wrapped the other around her waist, holding her close. Her lips parted and instead of encasing Michelle's lower one between her own once more, she flicked the tip of her tongue against it. It caused the other woman's breath to hitch and Vicky wondered for a moment if it had gone far enough, but Michelle's hand tightened in her hair; she pulled her more firmly to her, she mirrored Vicky's action and their tongues met. The kiss deepened, it caused Michelle to softly hum against her mouth and one of her hands gripped Vicky's top. As she leant down against the pillows, she pulled the other woman down over her and wrapped her arm around Vicky to keep her there. Vicky felt Michelle's smile against her mouth and she continued to kiss her, entirely consumed. Her heart felt light though it thudded heavy in her chest and she alternated the way her lips worked just so she could invoke the reactions she was getting from the other woman; her lips were fast, brief and it produced whispers of laughter from the other woman, whose hand remained tangled in her hair, then her kiss was deep and slow and she felt her fingers tighten and tug lightly, and longing whimpers filled her ears. She couldn't get enough of her.
When she broke away again, Michelle tilted her head to the side and Vicky took the hint. She pressed her lips against her neck and she let out a quiet gasp. The rise and fall of her chest grew steadily more rapid. Vicky parted her lips and sucked on the area just below her jaw and she cried out, softly. She kissed higher up, followed a path along her jaw and met her lips again. Michelle responded, her nails grazed her scalp and then another cry split the air. A long, drawn out wail that didn't cease.
"Mm..." Vicky groaned in disappointment and she pulled away, resting her forehead against the other woman's. Michelle just let out a breathless laugh as Sonny's cries continued.
"It's okay," Michelle whispered, gently pecking her mouth, "Go and get him."
a/n: nearly there! Final part on its way...
