CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Oh my gosh thank you all so so much for your amazing responses and kind words, it really made my week. I expected a much more mixed response because of how OOC Chuck was in chapter one, but apparently there was a massive market demand for stories about Chuck sticking up for himself after his red test. So i'm stuck at home for the week because of a COVID scare (the test was negative) so I had time to write a whole bunch. I want to send a shout out to TigerTod who pointed something out in his review, in my previously planned second chapter I didn't deal with Sarah and Shaw hardly at all. All I had was a short sentence explaining what happened between them that felt cheap so I wrote an entirely new chapter 2 and 3 for you all. What was originally chapter 2 is now chapter 4.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: I've got 17 chapters in the can now and i'm maintaining a fairly good pace with the writing to keep ahead of schedule. Here's my dilemma; the 17th chapter is M-rated, it's not smut but it does have a fairly intense sex scene in it. The dilemma is whether to simply post it to the main story with a content warning or sanitize it and post the clean version here and the M-rated version as a bonus chapter for those interested. The reason this is a problem is because Chuck has a fairly intense personal debate while he has sex with someone and the whole moment is intense and so important to the story that to simply remove it and make a clean version would rob the moment of the emotional punch it has now in it's original form. If you'd like me to simply post it with a content warning or you'd like it as a clean version and an explicit version let me know in the comments. Now it's not a pressing matter because that's chapter 17, but i'd still like your opinion nonetheless.
Contrition
A Story by
CharmingCharles2896
Chapter 2:
The Collapse
Her life was in a tailspin, three straight days of sobbing in her bed, hoping, praying that Chuck would come back through that door. That was just a fools dream though, Sarah already knew that he'd flow to DC for his first assignment and wasn't coming back. She hadn't spoken to Daniel in days even though he'd called numerous times; in light of her recent falling out with Chuck, Sarah Walker had absolutely no desire to interact with Daniel Shaw. She hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since that horrible day, at night her dreams were filled with images of Chuck's shattered demeanor as he realized that Sarah refused to love him. She'd tried to call Chuck on several occasions, the first couple went to voicemail, then the fourth never made it through as he'd disabled the phone number entirely. She'd tried to ask Ellie for Chuck's contact info claiming that she couldn't contact him, but Ellie was just as in the dark as Sarah was. All Ellie had was a hand written note telling her that Chuck had left, was going to be away for a while, and that he wouldn't be calling or writing. Morgan was in the know so Sarah had tried him next, but he was equal parts angry at Sarah for how she treated his best friend and equal parts worried about his friends mental state after the collapse as Sarah had started calling it.
The sound of a knock at the door pulled Sarah from her gloomy thoughts, as she shot up in bed, her hair disheveled, and her eyes puffy and red from crying an ocean of tears. Who could that be at her door? It couldn't be Chuck could it? He was supposed to be in Washington D.C. so how was he outside her door. Sarah leapt from her bed and was at her door in a flash.
"Chuck?" Sarah said as she pulled her front door open…
"Sorry, just me." Came the flat boring voice of Special Agent Daniel Shaw, Sarah visibly deflated upon realizing he wasn't Chuck back to give her a second chance.
"Oh it's you, what do you want?" Sarah asked a tad sharper than she'd intended, even still she didn't exactly have the will nor the desire to talk to the walking cardboard cutout that was Daniel Shaw.
"Is that any way to talk to your boyfriend?" Daniel said with his trademark smirk, over the last few weeks she would have found that slightly charming, but right now it was simply repulsing.
"Sorry, what do you want dear?" Sarah said sarcastically as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Daniel simply let that remark go and pressed on.
"Haven't heard from you in a few days, wanted to check and see if you were okay?" Daniel said as he leaned on the doorframe, was he blind? How could he not see her obvious emotional distress?
"Do I look okay to you?" Sarah asked in disbelief, Daniel simply pressed on and reached out to pull her into a half hug.
"No you don't, why don't you tell me what happened?" Daniel asked as he led the two of them back into her hotel room; it's funny Sarah didn't remember inviting Daniel into her hotel room, but whatever. "So I'm assuming this has to do with Chuck right?" Daniel asked as Sarah flumped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling.
"Aren't you the observant one," Sarah said with a hefty amount of snark, Daniel pursed his lips and spoke again.
"Hey come on I'm really trying to help here." Sarah sighed and closed here eyes, she knew she wasn't being fair, but she wasn't in the right headspace for things like fairness and kindness so she simply nodded her head.
"I know, I'm sorry for being a jerk, I'm just not in a good place right now." Sarah said as she sat up and ran her hand through her messy blonde locks.
"Tell me what happened." Daniel said calmly obviously trying his best to do what Chuck was so good at… talk it out. With a sardonic snort Sarah simply nodded and spoke to her boyfriend.
"Well as you know you ordered me to proctor Chuck's red test," Daniel simply nodded as Sarah continued. "As you also know Chuck terminated Hunter Perry and passed the test." Once again Daniel nodded. "I never wanted this life for Chuck, I'd always been partial to Chuck because he was a civilian surviving in our world. Well to get Chuck to do the test I had to insinuate that the only way for him and I to have a real relationship was… if he passed the test and became a spy." Sarah said flatly, Daniel was confused and furrowed his brow accordingly.
"Why would you do that, I thought he's your friend?" Sarah couldn't believe how clueless Daniel was being.
"Because he's in love with me and the one time where I should have disobeyed orders and told him the truth, I followed orders like a good little soldier and manipulated him into doing the test even though killing is antithetical to who he is as a person." As Sarah continued Daniel couldn't help the small tinge of remorse he felt as he remembered he'd ordered her to do it. "I never even wanted to imagine that Chuck could take a life; it changes you as a person, changes you into something colder, meaner. I was appalled that Chuck killed Perry, even though we all knew Perry was a traitor and deserved what he got." Daniel was speechless as Sarah continued; she hadn't made eye contact in several long moments as she relived that horrible moment.
"What happened after that, you were handling it just fine three days ago so what happened?" Daniel asked Sarah who couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.
"Three days ago he came to my place to sort out what was wrong between us, and I finally explained that I couldn't be with him because of how much he'd changed. He didn't take it well and pointed out how hypocritical I was being before he stormed out of my hotel room." Sarah said in shame as Daniel began to understand if only a tiny bit.
"Oh Sam, I'm so sorry." Daniel said as he tried to comfort his girlfriend, but upon hearing her real name Sarah wept even harder.
"And then there's that, why did I tell you my real name?" By now Sarah's hands were intertwined in her hair as her elbows rested on her knees. "All Chuck wanted to know was one real thing about me, he only ever asked for one thing that was real, and I told you instead while he watched. I'd only known you a couple of weeks and I told you my most precious secret, I'd known Chuck for over three years and we'd shared so much time and so many wonderful moments together. Oh god why did I tell you my name?" Sarah said as she started crying for what felt like the thousandth time in three days.
"I don't understand, why are you taking this so hard?" Daniel asked as he tried to unravel the meaning behind her story. That question set Sarah off, how could this supposed special agent be so clueless and blind to the truth that was staring him in the face?
"Because I'm in love with him you moron, Jesus Christ Daniel open your eyes; you've read the mission reports, seen the security cam footage from the last three years, how on earth have you not seen the signs? I have been very obviously in love with Chuck for years and until recently I was sure we were destined to be together, that is until the CIA convinced him to be a spy and sent you here to blow up my entire life. After Chuck started dating that Hannah girl I felt so alone that I convinced myself that I could find that same loving feeling in another man's arms, yours." Sarah said finally laying it all out for the apparently clueless Special Agent.
"What are you saying Sam, that I mean nothing to you?" Daniel said with a ting of anger; Sarah simply rolled her eyes at him in disbelief.
"Come on Daniel, you were so obviously a rebound after I lost Chuck. Didn't it seem odd to you that after weeks of rebuffing your pathetically obvious advances over and over and over I finally said yes one day after Chuck and Hannah sealed the deal? I knew seeing me be all affectionate with you would make him burn with jealousy and I was right. Was it mean and childish? Absolutely, it was horribly mean and completely childish, but I did it anyway." The anger Sarah was feeling at the world and everyone in it that had gotten in between her and the man she loved started to dissipate and all that was left in its wake was despair. Daniel simply huffed angrily and turned towards the door.
"I have nothing more to say to you." Sarah simply chuckled at that and flumped back on her bed.
"Well thank the lord for that." Daniel simply shook his head in a mix of anger and disbelief.
"We have a briefing tomorrow about some new ring Intel, but I don't think you should be there. Just stay here and wallow in your self pity." Sarah simply gave Daniel a thumbs up as he made his way to the door. Daniel reached for the door handle and pulled it open, he turned back to Sarah one last time and spoke. "See ya later Sam." And with that Daniel Shaw slammed the door shut and stormed off, Sarah wasn't going to let that one go so she got up in a furious rage and practically pulled the door off the wall with the way she pulled so hard.
"My name is Sarah you arrogant prick!" Sarah screamed at him as he walked down the hallway and out of her life just like Chuck had three days prior. She slammed the door shut once again and stomped over to her bed where she simply fell down onto it and screamed into the pillows while punching and kicking the mattress like it was her enemy. She had now alienated all the men in life and for what reason? She had never felt so alone, but right now it felt justified, deserved even. Like a crippled airplane she was in a tailspin, burning as she plummeted downwards towards the harsh ground and her imminent destruction. To be honest Sarah welcomed the fall, the inferno consuming her kept her warm as the cold world around her left her behind. Yeah she was plummeting, but at this point who cared?
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: So this was an interesting chapter to write and I'm interested to see what you all think of it after you read it. Please let me know by leaving a review, I really cherish your opinion. Also make sure to give me your opinion on the chapter 17 dilemma.
Until Next Time :D
