CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Hello again it's time for chapter 7, this was an interesting chapter to write simply because thematically it had a lot to achieve in a short amount of words. Ultimately this chapter ended up becoming a 7000 word behemoth sorry not sorry, but I think it was important for this chapter to cover everything it covers to move the plot along. This chapter does a lot of world building and introduces us to several new characters that we'll be seeing a lot of in the coming chapters. I'm so eager to see what you all think of this chapter and what it means for Sarah's future going forward.


Contrition

A Story by

CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 7:

Here's to the Birthday Girl

Sarah knew she had the day off from work, but she didn't want to be home alone with her thoughts; she needed a distraction and the mind numbing boredom of her work would have to suffice. Sarah may have been exceedingly tired, but her mind was racing with too many thoughts, too many emotions to ever find sleep. Also she hated her apartment, it just felt so alien to her.

"Maybe I should find a different apartment other than the one the CIA picked out for me when I became an agent?" Sarah asked herself in her head a she stepped off the elevator. A change of scenery may do her some good after all… That was a discussion for another time, hopefully a time where Sarah's brain wasn't so god damn tired! She wasn't very productive at work these days, but for a spy used to action and adrenaline this job was a total bore. They'd transferred her to the newly formed Office for Combined Intelligence; it was a new branch of the United States Intelligence Community created after the Intersect was downloaded into Chuck's head. The idea had been that they'd consolidate all intelligence into one place so that it could be turned into Intersect updates for the human intersect, but after the cypher killed Director Graham the project had been put on hold to an extent. While the government was rebuilding the original Intersect they'd also been secretly working on a top-secret new Intersect codenamed Galaxy.

Because of the vast capabilities of this new Intersect, which in theory would be far superior to even the Fulcrum & Orion developed Intersect 2.0 that was currently inside Chuck's head, a specific type of agent was needed. That had partially been the reason why Sarah had been assigned to the OCI instead of some menial job; they'd needed insight on the psych profile of a good Intersect Agent. With the god like powers the newer Intersects were able to grant the agent in possession of it, the government wanted an agent capable of being the Human Intersect without turning into a power obsessed monster. Sarah could still remember the day they sat down with her and asked her for some insight on why Team Bartowski was so successful.

August 20th, 2010

2 Months Ago

Why were these things always in the conference room that was way too small for the number people in the meeting? Sarah was simply sitting at the nondescript government table waiting for her new superiors to start; the room looked to be about the size of a medium sized bedroom and yet they were trying to fit ten people into the room. She still couldn't believe that they'd suspended her from fieldwork, it was all such a farce; yes she'd had a couple of assignments go bad, but benching her seemed a bit harsh. Now her life felt extra empty, she didn't have Chuck or any of the wonderful family that came along with Chuck Bartowski. On top of that she didn't have her work any more either so life was most decidedly lacking meaning at the moment. The thing was, maybe Sarah could derive some meaning from her life by helping the OCI ensure that all future Intersect Agents were well trained and well looked after. She had an opportunity here to make sure no Intersect Agent had to suffer like Chuck suffered for so long. The long nights where Sarah had to help him sleep because his mind was racing a mile a minute. The moments where Chuck would come to Sarah desperate for the headaches to go away from flashing so many times in one day. Those moments that nobody but her and Chuck knew about where Chuck came to her complaining about not being heard, about how nobody respected his opinion. Sarah remembered all the times she'd had to fight her superiors to make sure Chuck got what he needed to keep going. Sarah had an opportunity to ensure that every future Intersect Agent felt heard and had their needs met unlike her Chuck.

Her Chuck, now that was a laughable concept; he had been her Chuck, but she'd pushed him away when he'd needed her to be his Sarah. If only she could sit down with him and just explain everything. If she could only get him to listen to her he'd understand, but then again what exactly was it she was trying to get him to understand? Everything he'd said to her had been right, what could she say to him that would change what she'd done? The answer was nothing; there was nothing she could say to him that would change things. He'd simply wanted her to care for five minutes; all he needed was a little compassion after the worst day of his life. She remembered her red test, it had been the worst day of her life and she'd been a wreck for weeks afterward. If she'd had someone like him to help her after that horrible day, she'd be a different person today. Sarah had an opportunity to make sure Chuck didn't lose his humanity and instead she decided that her petty reservations about the supposed changes she saw in him were more important than helping him stay who he used to be.

Sarah was pulled from her dark musings by the sound of the stuffy man sitting at the middle of the table across from her beginning to speak.

"Okay let's get started, this is OCI Recruitment Coordinator Kevin Macquarie interviewing Sarah Walker, former teammate of Agent Charles Carmichael. Ms. Walker, thanks for agreeing to sit down with us and provide some insight into what made your team so effective." Kevin said into the microphone recorder, they were recording the interview so that the scientists and recruitment team could review what they'd learned. Sarah simply smiled at him and spoke.

"I'm happy to be here, I think I can really help you guys out." Sarah said excitedly with a relaxed posture to the small man sitting across from her. Kevin simply cleared his throat and continued.

"Well we're glad to hear it and we hope you can share some insight to help us understand why your assignment in Burbank was so successful. Let's start with a simple question; describe the Human Intersect's personality?" Sarah had to silence the growl as Kevin referred to the man she loved as simply the Human Intersect.

"Firstly Mr. Macquarie, his name is Chuck; the Human Intersect is a person, not a tool or a machine so you need to remember that. Now when talking about Chuck the biggest thing I can say is that he was simply a good person. Kind, caring, funny, and uniquely human, that's how I would describe him; he was most decidedly not agent material and that's important." Sarah said as she thought about how innocent Chuck was back in those early days; he was still so pure and naïve, unlike now.

"Why would the Intersect… er Chuck, not being agent material be important to the success of your team?" Kevin asked hoping to get a more expanded answer.

"Chuck was a… no is a great person who values human life and is always going to do the right thing no matter what, even if it isn't in his own best interest. He's loyal as hell and would do anything for his team. You have to think about what the Intersect can give a person. The 2.0 gave Chuck god like powers and the wrong person would let that newfound power go to their head, but Chuck didn't get a big head. No matter how much I liked Bryce Larkin, he would have been a horrible Intersect Agent. He was cocky and had a tendency to jump before he looked if you know what I mean. Even if Bryce could have handled the Intersect, which is an entirely different problem in and of itself, it would have changed him for the worse. Daniel Shaw who the government regards as the best of us for some reason, would have be a horrible Intersect Agent. He was pompous, arrogant, and driven exclusively by revenge, which made him dangerous to work with." Sarah paused to gauge the reaction of the men sitting and standing before her, they didn't look very pleased with what they were hearing.

"Other than the personality traits of the Intersect, what else do you think made your team so effective?" Kevin asked Sarah who paused to think about how she wanted to answer that question.

"Not to toot my own horn, but I honestly believe the team around Chuck was what made him so effective. The Intersect doesn't always work and when it does it can be erratic and hard to control. Chuck needed handlers around him because the Intersect was only a tool to be used by the person in possession of it. To circle back to personality, Chuck was a kind and gentle soul at heart and he found some aspects of the spy life grotesque. Colonel Casey and I had no such qualms so it worked out well." Kevin and the rest of the team took notes; Sarah simply waited for the next question.

"Thank you Ms. Walker, is there anything else you'd like to add before we finish?" Kevin asked Sarah with a cheeriness that Sarah didn't fully buy; Sarah was hesitant to say what was on her mind because they weren't going to like it, but she felt she had a duty to protect any poor soul who was burdened with the next Intersect.

"I have a couple more points I want to make before we finish; firstly you guys need to make sure that whoever you put the Intersect into is really freaking smart, not only do they need an astronomically high subliminal image retention rating, but they'll need to be ridiculously smart to be able to interpret the data that the Intersect gives them. Chuck is a brilliant man who is bordering on genius level intellect and even he struggled to interpret the data some times so any Intersect Agent has to be brilliant." The men across from her looked at her in shock, as if they had misjudged her level of Intersect knowledge. "I learned a lot about the Intersect from Chuck during our three years together. He got a 98% at Stanford on subliminal image retention in a class with Professor Fleming, which is why he was able to download and handle both the 1.0 & 2.0 Intersects. The second thing to keep in mind is that the Intersect puts a lot of stress on the host, it's a tremendous burden and unless the Agent has some kind of support structure he'll falter. Flashing too much gives the host horrible headaches, and flashing leaves the host stunned for a fraction of a second so that has to be taken into account. In a perfect world I would imagine you could field an Intersect Agent and his team for years and years before he'd have to have it removed; but if you don't take great care to maintain the Intersect Agent's mental health, his effective lifespan could be maybe a year, two years tops. I don't think it would even be possible to field an Intersect alone in the field without some kind of support structure for an extended period of time. The mental stress of dealing with the Intersect is hard to manage and unless the host has support around him, then he or she will crack wide open."

As Sarah finished talking she finally noticed the perturbed looks on all of their faces, apparently they hadn't liked what she'd said, regardless it was the truth and if they didn't like it that was their problem. There was a long silence before Kevin cleared his throat and spoke.

"Well thank you for the… insight Ms. Walker, it is greatly appreciated." Kevin said while he stood up and extended his hand towards Sarah who shook it with a smile on her face.

"Since I'm going to be working with you guys in the future should I just wait for your call or…?" Sarah asked the group still unclear how this was going to work going forward. Kevin paused for a second and then gave her that same fake smile and spoke.

"Don't worry Ms. Walker, we'll be in touch, just wait for our call." Sarah gave him a smile and left the room. After a week without so much as a phone call Sarah got the idea that she wasn't welcome back to the OCI Recruitment Committee; sure enough she got a letter in the mail informing her she was no longer a member of the committee and had been transferred once again, this time she was to report to the third floor as a report typist. Sarah deflated as she read the letter, whereas she'd thought she was going to be making a difference during her suspension now it was clear that she had been banished to the shadow realm. Shadow realm? God Chuck's nerdism's must have rubbed off on Sarah more than she thought.

That was how Sarah once again found herself on the third floor of the OCI headquarters. Each of the three major intelligence branches had a floor, while Homeland Security, ICE, and the other government agency's had a separate facility outside of Baltimore. The first floor of the OCI headquarters in Washington D.C. was a large atrium featuring a cafeteria and other amenities. The Federal Bureau of Investigation was on floor two. The Central Intelligence Agency was on floor three, while the National Security Administration was on floor four. The fifth floor was reserved for Intersect R&D projects while the sixth and final floor was reserved for OCI executive personnel. Sarah worked on floor three with the other miserable CIA drones unlucky enough to work there.

As Sarah stepped into the massive cubicle farm that she now called work she simply sighed to herself.

"This is god punishing me." She thought to herself morbidly as she walked past the many cubicles on her long trek to her own little slice of boredom. She could feel them all looking at her, she always hated the looks they all gave her. They always looked at her like she was a caged lion, like she was meant to be somewhere else other than on display at the circus like she was now. She hated it because it was true; she hated it because it made her feel alone. Sarah knew what she must look like to all of them, she was beat to hell and must show signs of her lack of sleep, but she didn't care anymore. What was the point of dressing up if you had nobody to dress for? She could hear their quiet whispers of gossip, she wasn't supposed to be in today and they all knew why. Sarah sipped her coffee, which was now losing some of it's warmth as she finally arrived at her cubicle and entered it with a disappointed sigh.

Like her apartment the space was devoid of personality and personally Sarah had always been okay with that, this job meant nothing to her so why put in the effort to decorate her space? Sarah sat down at her computer and logged in to the system so that she could get to work on the stack of reports waiting for her on her desk.

"Sarah, what are you doing here; you were given the day off?" Came the kind voice of her boss Jerry, Sarah spun around in her chair and stood up to greet her boss.

"I know that sir, but I need the distraction." Sarah said with a timid smile, that Jerry matched in kind as he closed the short distance between them and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You look like you need to sleep, when was the last time you slept Sarah?" Jerry asked with concern in his voice. Sarah tried to brush him off but the look on his face told her he wasn't buying it.

"I'm fine Jerry, I just need to take my mind off of some things." Jerry finally acquiesced and left Sarah to her work; Sarah grabbed the first report and began typing. Elsewhere on the floor Jerry was walking back to his office; he couldn't believe how bad Ms. Walker looked, she looked like she hadn't slept in days. Jerry exchanged a worried look with a tall redhead and her short brunette friend who both had been looking on worriedly. As the two women watched Jerry enter his office and close the door behind him they exchanged a look.

"I've got to tell you Janice, Jerry is really worried about her." The redhead said to her brunette friend who simply nodded.

"Of course he is Kara, he knows her reputation and that woman over there is nothing like the woman in her file." Kara simply nodded in agreement and spoke.

"My Nana likes her, said she's the real deal." Kara said with a smile, Janice gave her a strange look.

"How does your grand mother know the Ice Queen?" Janice asked, Kara couldn't believe that her best friend didn't know.

"Don't you watch the news? Sarah saved five children from a group of Thai human trafficker's yesterday who were planning on selling them, she commandeered my grand mothers car while she pursued the suspects." Janice gave her a surprised look and looked back over at Sarah's cubicle, not that she could see Sarah any longer.

"Well that certainly explains all the cuts and bruises." Janice said deep in thought.

"My Nana even let Sarah use her Falkor Alpha that I got her for Christmas; my Nana doesn't let anybody touch that thing." Kara said with a tone that conveyed nothing but surprise.

"Really?" Janice asked as she remembered just how much Phyllis Anderson loved that rifle. "That's quite the endorsement from your grandma." Janice finished, Kara simply nodded in agreement; the two of them quietly sat down in their cubicles, which shared a wall and began the days work.

For Sarah that lack of sleep was catching up to her in a big way as the caffeine from the coffee began to ware off; she found herself nodding and dosing off over and over between bouts of typing where she'd get a sentence or two at most typed into the computer. As the minutes went by and Jerry subtly checked on her for the sixth time he'd seen enough. She was so tired she hadn't even noticed that he'd walked by her cubicle six times in the last ninety minutes. Jerry knocked on the wall just inside Sarah's cubicle and saw her jolt up in surprise, he could see that she was just exhausted.

"Can I help you sir?" Sarah said as she tried to stand up, Jerry gave her a look that Sarah recognized, she simply hung her head in shame as he spoke.

"Tell me the truth Sarah, how long has it been since you've slept?" Sarah had to think for a moment, which in her current state was exceedingly difficult.

"It's been a long time Sir." Sarah managed to slur out before drawing in an exhausted breath, Jerry simply nodded and spoke to her with command in his tone to tell Sarah that he wasn't playing around.

"Well you're no good like this so I want you to go into my office; you'll find a large comfy couch against the far wall, I want you to lay down and take a nap for an hour." Sarah went to protest, but Jerry stuck his finger up and stopped her before she even started. "You're too exhausted to drive and you can't work so go take a nap in my office. I'll stay here and finish this report for you and after an hour I'll come get you. After that you're going home and getting some sleep, understand?" Jerry said to Sarah leaving no room for discussion; Sarah simply nodded with a yawn and shuffled her way past him towards his office. Kara and Janice watched the entire exchange and followed Sarah with their eyes as she shuffled like a zombie to Jerry's office and closed the door. They saw her close the shades as well; Kara turned to Janice and spoke.

"Tomorrow we're going to talk to her and introduce ourselves, this is ridiculous." Janice simply nodded her head in complete agreement.

"Absolutely." Janice said back to her as they both watched Jerry crack his fingers and sit down to type. Jerry was a good boss who cared about the people who worked for him; this wasn't the first time they'd seen him help out one of them so it was no surprise to see him helping Sarah out. Everyone knew what she was going through and to be honest it was sad to see someone who was once considered the best of the best just shuffle through life like a kicked puppy. Sarah hadn't said two words to anyone on the third floor other than Jerry in the two months she'd been working there. She usually walked in and did her work nonstop until lunchtime, then she'd go get something from the cafeteria and immediately retreat to her cubicle to keep working. She was the last one in and the first one out every day she was scheduled to work. At first everyone was scared to talk to her because of her reputation as a deadly assassin that the higher-ups used whenever they needed an impossible situation to simply go away, but as the weeks passed by everyone had tried to strike up a conversation with her but to no avail. She wasn't rude about it, but usually she'd simply claim she had too much work to do so she didn't have time to talk. The thing was she wasn't even close to the most productive person on the floor, far from it actually. If she wanted everyone to stay away from her then the message had been heard loud and clear.

Kara actually pitied the poor schmuck who tried hitting on her when she first started at the OCI. He'd come in with all the suave bravado that former agents had and Sarah rebuffed him very publicly; legend says his voice rose two octaves that day.

September 11th, 2010

As Sarah road the elevator on her way to the cafeteria for the third day in a row she could only sigh; so this was her life, from top agent to pencil pusher in ten easy steps? Over the past few weeks the nightmares had been staying away as she prepared for her new job with the OCI recruitment committee, but now that they'd moved her to the third floor seemingly no longer interested in her input the nightmares had returned with a vengeance. There was just so little going for her these days that most mornings she found it hard to muster the strength to get out of bed and start her day. All the things she used to do to blow off steam had lost their appeal, she didn't run in the mornings as much, she hadn't used her heavy back in weeks, she found that food had lost most of its appeal as well. Sarah knew she was letting herself get out of shape but she didn't give a damn anymore, she no longer had any reason to stay in shape. As Sarah got in line to get her lunch she spotted him from across the room; CIA Agent Barry Simmons, for the last few days since she'd started working at the OCI he'd been eyeing her like a predator stalks it's prey. She knew of him from before she'd gone to Burbank, but she'd never had the opportunity to meet him. She knew it was only a matter of time before he came over and made his move, she knew she still looked good and to a guy like him she was easy prey, or so he thought.

Just as she'd predicted as soon as they locked eyes he began to move towards her from across the room, it was so typical of former field operatives to try the same seduction routine on another field operative as if she didn't already know ever move he was about to make. Sarah looked away from him and steeled herself for the pathetic display of bravado that was to come. Sure enough in a flash he was at her side with his suave agent smile on his face.

"Agent Walker, I can't believe I'm seeing you here." He said to her as he got up to her, Sarah simply shrugged.

"Well you know how it goes Agent Simmons." Sarah said back to him, he simply pressed on seemingly undeterred by her cold reception.

"Look I don't know why you're here but it's a damn crime to keep an agent like you locked up in a place like this." Agent Simmons said back to her, she had to admit she did appreciate that last one, it was good to hear it from someone else, even if he only said it because he wanted to fuck her really bad.

"Well thank you Agent Simmons, I appreciate it; what about you, why are you here, I thought you were stationed out in Budapest?" Sarah said with a small smile, he seemed encouraged by her response and shrugged.

"Got shot in the shoulder, couldn't pass the physical, so I work here now." Agent Simmons said back to her; Sarah felt bad, that was the worst way to leave the spy game.

"I'm sorry to hear that Barry." Sarah said truthfully to Agent Simmons.

"It's fine, I've made peace with it; listen I know you've been in Burbank with Agent Carmichael for the last three years so I was wondering if I could take you out on the town some time?" There it was, Agent Simmons was taking his shot, and as much as his pathetic attempt repulsed Sarah, she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"I don't think that's a good idea Agent Simmons, I just got out of a complicated relationship and I wouldn't be very good company." Sarah said hoping he'd take the hint and let it be; he didn't seem phased as he spoke again.

"Look Agent Walker, I know you and Carmichael were close, but just because he wasn't man enough for a woman like you doesn't mean you have to punish yourself for it." Agent Simmons said arrogantly, as Sarah looked at the menu before she ordered she heard Agent Simmons' words and all thoughts about not hurting his feelings went out the window. A fury rose within Sarah that she couldn't control and in a flash Sarah had Simmons pressed up against the metal railings that denoted where the line should form. She had her hand firmly grasping his… family jewels over his tailor made chinos and squeezed hard. Barry cursed and yelped for mercy at the sudden change of fortune.

"Ah stop, fuck!" He cried in pain as Sarah got very close to his face and spoke with a fury that would make even the toughest man cower in fear.

"Don't ever speak of Agent Carmichael again, he is more of a man than you could ever hope to be. If you ever so much as think negatively about him again I will use one of my infamous knives to make sure the only action you get in the bedroom is with men, do you understand me?" She could see the fear in his eyes, but he wasn't replying so with the careful application of pressure she heard him yelp for mercy and speak in a voice befitting a woman and not a man of his size and stature.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry!" He cried in agony, Sarah released him and pushed him away angrily.

"Get the fuck out of my sight you disgusting pig." Sarah said after him, as Sarah looked around the room she saw all the eyes on her. With a growl that would make Casey proud she made it abundantly clear that the rest of them could fuck off. Sarah returned her attention to the menu and stepped up to order lunch like nothing had ever happened. Across the cafeteria a tall red head and her tiny but mighty brunette best friend were looking on with glee at what Sarah Walker had just done to the third floors most infamous prowler.

"I fucking love this chick!" Janice said to Kara before she returned to her salad; Kara simply laughed and nodded.

"That's the Ice Queen for ya." Kara said with a shake of her head as she too returned to her lunch.

October 7th, 2010

The Present…

Inside Jerry's office Sarah immediately spotted the excessively large leather couch against the far wall; the couch was so large that Chuck could likely stretch out and sleep on it comfortably. Sarah removed her leather jacket and pulled her hair out of the pony tail she usually wore to work and quickly laid down on the couch as ordered. She spotted a throw pillow laying on one of the armrests so she grabbed it and used it to rest her head. Sarah immediately felt her body release a ton of tension, as it finally was able to relax. Even as her body was relaxing her mind wouldn't rest. At first Sarah was filled with despair at the prospect of more restless sleep, but Dr. Dreyfus' words echoed through her mind.

"Do what Dreyfus said, do what Dreyfus said." Sarah repeated to herself in her head as she went back through her vast mental library and picked out a memory that always warmed her heart.

July 30th, 2008

Sarah hated surprises, she especially hated when her asset wouldn't tell her where they were going on this sunny California day. Chuck could see that Sarah wasn't enjoying the suspense, but in this moment he didn't care one bit. For Sarah the suspense was driving her insane, agents liked to be in control at all times so this moment was torture. The thing was, Sarah trusted Chuck, she trusted that wherever he was taking her was going to be a fun time. The sound of Chuck's voice grabbed Sarah's attention; she looked at him in surprise and spoke.

"What?" She said back, he simply chuckled at her and repeated what he said.

"I said we're almost there just five more minutes." Chuck said with a content smile on his face that did much to put Sarah at ease; the fact that Chuck knew she was nervous made her more nervous. How was he able to read her so easily, how was he able to make her so comfortable around him? She noticed that Chuck had taken an off ramp; they'd been driving down the PCH for some time now. She had absolutely no idea where Chuck was taking her and it had her conflicted; they were driving through a rural town with very old school roads. At first she thought he was taking her to a restaurant in the small town, but she was mistaken as the small one street town came and went. She saw a smile appear on his face signaling to her that wherever they were going, they were getting close. She saw a narrow dirt road off to the left and was surprised when Chuck turned left onto it, his small Herder wasn't exactly designed for a bumpy dirt road, but he didn't seem to be phased in the least.

"Don't worry we're real close." Chuck said almost like he was reading her thoughts, Sarah simply smiled to herself and looked out the window at the dense trees and natural forest around them. "There it is." She heard him say as they snaked their way up the mountain road towards a clearing. As Sarah looked out the windshield at the clearing her breath caught in her throat; as the Herder came to a stop in the clearing Sarah was treated to a view like she'd never seen before in her life. They were at an ocean lookout, this high above sea level you could see for miles. Sarah was suddenly filled with so many questions; why had he taken her here, how did he know about this beautiful place?

"Come on." Chuck said as he turned the Herder off and got out, Sarah heard the sound of the back opening and snapped out of her view-induced stupor. Sarah joined Chuck at the back of his car and saw the picnic basket and blanket; how had she not noticed them before?

"A picnic?" Sarah asked with a smile on her face, Chuck simply nodded and grabbed the items from his hatchback and closed it up.

"Help me spread out the blanket." Chuck said as he lead Sarah over to a grassy area that looked out over the ocean. In no time flat the two of them had the blanket laid out and the basket unloaded. Turkey sandwiches with barbeque potato chips and glass bottle Coca Cola. Chuck and Sarah sat in comfortable silence for a long while as they ate and enjoyed the view; eventually Sarah had to know, she had to know the truth.

"Can I ask you a question without you feeling insulted?" Sarah asked Chuck as she grabbed her coke and took a drink, Chuck simply swallowed the mouthful of sandwich and nodded.

"Why did you bring me to this beautiful place?" Sarah asked nervously, Chuck simply nodded and reached into the basket for the hidden compartment he'd made by crafting a wooden false bottom. Sarah was intrigued when she saw Chuck pull out a small present and toss it to her.

"Happy birthday Sarah." Chuck said with a smile, Sarah was stunned, speechless, scared, and so many more emotions in that moment.

"Wha…?" She didn't know what to say, thinking fast she spoke once again. "It's not my birthday Chuck." Sarah said hoping not to kill the mood; Chuck simply smiled and nodded.

"Aw shucks, 1 down 364¼ to go; regardless we're celebrating you Sarah Walker and all the amazing things you do, now open your present!" Chuck said totally taking her words in stride; he'd figure out when her birthday was eventually. Sarah undid the knot for the bow and tore the wrapping paper open on the small gift; she had no idea what this gift was, but she was excited to find out. As Sarah got the wrapping paper out of the way she saw the Omega logo on the gift box and instantly knew what Chuck had done. As Sarah opened the box she gasped at what she saw.

"Oh my god." Sarah said as she laid eyes on the gorgeous Omega Constellation for Women Collection: Master Chronometer; it was a gorgeous 29mm women's watch, but it was freaking expensive! She knew because she'd wanted one for years. "Chuck, this is a $6,000 watch..." Sarah said, the unasked question hanging in the air.

"I know, you like to wear watches on missions, but you don't have a really nice watch for all those times we have to dress up." Chuck said as he saw the tears appear in Sarah's eyes.

"Oh Chuck, this is too much; you must be broke now." Sarah said as she looked at the gorgeous rose gold dial and mother of pearl face; Sarah quickly wiped her eyes before her tears fell.

"Omega offers financing plans," Chuck said eliciting a chuckle from Sarah before he got more serious and spoke again. "You're worth every penny, Sarah." Chuck simply watched the speechless spy go through a roller coaster of emotions. Sarah didn't know what to think, this was easily the best birthday present she'd ever gotten in her life. It only made it better because today was actually her birthday, but she couldn't tell him that no matter how badly she wanted to.

"I love it, thank you so much." Sarah said emotionally as she leaned over to Chuck and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug.

"After everything you've done for me and everything you've sacrificed to make this country a safer place, this isn't nearly enough of a repayment." Chuck said to her as he felt a slight dampness on his shoulder; when Sarah pulled away he could see the tears that had fallen, and it touched him that she liked the gift so much. As the sun began to set on the western horizon painting the sky a beautiful mosaic of oranges and blues, Sarah had a realization that stunned her.

"I love him so much, yet I don't deserve him." Sarah didn't know what to think, she loved him that much she knew for sure, but she didn't know what to do about it.

"Never change Chuck, please stay just the way you are right now." Sarah said as she looked at the man she loved but couldn't have. Chuck simply nodded to her and felt her hand intertwine with his. Sarah still didn't understand what she'd done to deserve the love of someone as amazing as Chuck, but she was so grateful that he did. If only she could love him back and not get in trouble; maybe someday she would have the chance to show Chuck just how much she loved him. Until that time came Sarah would simply live for moments like this one and hope that she had a chance to show him the real her. The two of them grew silent as they sat there and watched the sun set on the best birthday Sarah had ever had in her entire life.

Back in the present…

As the content smile crept across Sarah's exhausted face she came to a realization; she needed to be a human being again and love the man she loved and it was time she did something about it.

"The time for pity has passed, now it's time to put my life back together." Sarah thought to herself moments before she fell asleep peacefully for the first time in six months. Unlike most times since that horrible day in March, Sarah didn't have one single nightmare, instead her dreams were filled with visions of the man she loved and the life they would have together.


CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: So what did you think? The flashbacks are interesting because I needed them to serve three VERY different purposes, all of which should inform why Sarah is so depressed at this particular moment in time. The watch sequence was put in because I wanted to show how one sided their relationship was from the beginning, this way you understand just how much Sarah's betrayal of Chuck would hurt him. Before you ask the reason Chuck didn't ask for the watch back in chapter 1 is because I hadn't written this chapter yet so the idea wasn't even a thing yet :P But beyond that the watch doesn't have much sentimental or symbolic value to Chuck at that stage in their relationship whereas the charm bracelet is a family heirloom.

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: So the comeback officially starts next chapter, Sarah will be doing a lot of brutal self reflection and we start to see the beginnings of a plan so look forward to chapter 8 next Thursday. Also we finally check in on what Chuck is up to next week so what do you all think he's been up to?

CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: Please tell me your opinion on the chapter and the story as a whole, your input helps me craft the story as we move along and on a selfish note it simply feels great to read all your reviews lol. Either way I hope you all have a wonderful week and enjoy the beautiful fall weather we're having right now before November rolls around and everything gets all wet and dead lol.

UNTIL NEXT TIME :D