Chapter 12
Simple words, complex thoughts
Faith's p.o.v
I wake up stretching my arms and yawning. I sit up in the bed and look around the dimly lit room. I jump of the bed and my bare feet hit the cold wooden floor. I walk over to the window and try opening the curtains they are to high up for my short figure to reach. I climb up on the bed I slept in last night. I didn't sleep in my own bed last night because I had a nightmare, normally I when I had a nightmare I would climb into Faye's bed with her but she is gone now and I didn't want to wake anyone else up so I climbed into her empty bed.
I walk to the other side of my room where my bed is and on top of my bed is my dress. I take of the clothes I wore last night and change into the dress. It is a very old and faded dress, first the dress was Finches then it was Faye's then it was Fiona's and now it is mine. When Finch got the dress doubt it was new so to say it was worn out would be an understatement. I pull on my socks and try and fail to tie up my knotted red hair.
I look around the room, the room that use to be full of life and joy but now it feels cold and empty. They are four beds lined up along the back wall each with a small old bedside table beside each of them. The bed to the far right is Finches it is the exact same as it was three years ago when she left nobody had the heart to change it, I wish more than anything I could remember her actually if I am wishing for stuff I wish she was still alive. The bed beside Finches is Faye's bed, it has plain bed sheets and on the bedside table is pictures with frames around them that are made of cardboard. The pictures are pictures of her and Finch, the whole family together a few years ago, one of the triplets (her, FIon and Finn), they where one of me, her, Fiona and Finch, they where one of her best friend Gabriella and they are one of her and her friends Harriet, Gabriella and Wendy. Fiona's bed is beside hers it is the exact same as Faye's except her bed frame is painted pink and her bedside locker is painted blue and on top of it are ribbons. My bed is last and closest to the door the bed is small and on top of my bedside table I have toys and ornaments of animals Faye and Fiona made for me made out of spare wire, they are very good.
I get up from the bed and decide that I want to go for a walk. Some mornings Faye would go on a walk and take me with her. I walk out of the room and I am about to go down stairs when I remember the scary thing that I saw Faye with on TV. She said gold scares them when I asked Ferris what was gold he said mummies wedding rings where made out of gold.
I walk into the hall and find my way to mummies and daddies room. I open the door and see that they are both asleep. I see her rings are on the table at the wall. I walk over to the table and climb onto the chair at the table and grab a ring on the table and stuff them is my pocket. I walk out of the room and close the door. Now I can go for a walk and be safe from the scary thing.
I walk down the stairs and avoid the third step from the bottom because Finn told me that one is really creaky and could wake everyone up. I walk through the kitchen and through the living there is the door outside I walk to the door. It might be cold so I try and get my coat but it is too high up for me to reach. Fiona's coat is on the ground so I can put that one on. I pull the coat on and realize that Fiona has very long arms I pull on my shoes and tie the laces with a very louse knot. I open the old door and walk out into are front garden. Are house is small but we have a big front and back garden with roses and flowers and small pond with bright colored fish.
District five is a generally rich district in terms of Panem because power is in high demand but even though we are rich everyone has to work hard. Most people have enough to eat without tesserae and houses are big enough to fit their comfortably. We are one of, if not the poorest family in district five. Our parents never went to college because my mum was pregnant; both their parents cut them off so they had no money. My parents didn't have much time to work because they had to take care of their ever growing family. Ever since Finch died they stopped working altogether and the kids are forced to work.
I try opening the gate in the front of the garden but it is locked. It is a low fence so I climb over it and when I am at the top I jump down and fall on the ground. I get up and begin my walk into the city. I only know how to get to the city because it is the only way you are able to go from our house.
The big sleeves on Fiona's coat go way over my hands so when I walk they flap about. The jacket goes over my knees so I nearly trip over it when I walk and if I try pick up my pace I completely fall down.
After walking for twenty minutes I get into town. It scares me how big the factories are. Normally they would be a lot of people here that tower over me but it is very early so barely anyone is out. I lift up the coat arm and look at the charm bracelet I have had since I was a baby. It has loads of charms two from each sibling but I gave my favorite charm to Faye. One of the ones Finch gave me was the finch I gave Faye I love that one it is my favorite I always use it to talk to Finch. I love charm but Faye needed it more. The other she gave me one was a stone in it that is the same amber color of her, mine and Faye's eyes. When I am on my own I talk to Finch, I now I need to talk to her.
I begin to talk to Finch about how much I wish could remember her, how much I miss Faye and about how scared I am that they will take Fiona and then me. I don't know how long I have been talking and walking but it feels like ages, I don't mind I never get bored of talking to Finch.
"Faith!"
I hear my name being called and I turn around and see Fallon rush towards me.
"Hi-hi Fally." I say waving at him and running over to him, he picks me up.
"What are you doing walking alone on the streets alone?" He asks looking at me.
"I went walk." I reply playing with his shirt collar.
"Faith you know you can't go in the city yourself." He says.
"Why not Fally?" I ask looking up at him confused on why I can't go on a walk like I use to do with Faye.
"Because it's not safe." He says and I giggle.
"I have gold silly I can use it to scare the Dullahan so it can' hurt me." I say taking it out of my dress pocket.
"Okay Faith we will talk about this later." He sighs. "Where you talking to yourself?"
"No, I was talking to Finch through the charm." I say holding out my arm and pulling at the charm to how him which one.
He nodded and put on a fake smile, he looked sad. Why was sad I can understand why he would be sad if we talked about how she died. But I was talking to her. That's a happy thing, right?
Fallon carried me home and then when we got their he put me down and rang the doorbell. Frank answered the door.
"Hey Fallon." He says and his facial expression changes when he sees me. "Faith what are you doing here?" He asks.
"She was out walking alone in the city talking to herself." Fallon says seriously. "She took one of mum's wedding rings to save her from the Dullahan."
"I was talking to Finch." I say.
Fallon and Frank share a look and walk off into the kitchen. I take of the coat and put it on a bench; I close the door and slip off the shoes and walk into the living room to find Finley sitting on the couch reading a book.
"Good morning Finley." I say sitting beside him on the couch.
He puts down on the book. "Good morning Faith. Why where you in the city alone today?" He says cutting straight to the chase.
"I was walking." I reply, I don't understand why I can't walk. "Me and Faye use to always walk to the city in the morning because we were up earlier then all you lazy lugs."
Finley looked sad. Why was he sad?
I was about to ask him why he looked sad when Ferris walked in.
"Faith, Finley breakfast is ready." He says still yawning.
I nod and walk to the dining room. Normally breakfast would be full of yawning, chatting and fighting over food but ever since Faye left everything has been different.
In the room currently they are me, Finley, Ferris, Frank, Fallon and my parents. I clime up onto a chair and grab a plate, we don't have as much food as we use to Faye use to get us a lot of money. I put the thin slice of stale brown bread on my plate I wish we had butter to put on it but it's too much money. I also get some herbs and some nuts.
I grab the small glass of water from the table. I drink the dusty water are water isn't very clean in district five it's too industrious.
Fiona, Finn and Foin all come into the dining room at the same time. They all sit down without a word. They all sat down Fiona beside Ferris and Finn and Fion to my right. Everyone begins to eat in an uncomfortable silence.
"I'm hungry." Finn moans once he has finished his small portion of breakfast. "We need more food we didn't eat anything yesterday and all we get today isn't even a handful."
Mommy and daddy look at him disapprovingly. I am really hungry as I had never gone a day without eating before but I had to. Finn seems really, really hungry. I look longingly at the food left on my plate. I slide it over to Finn.
"Finney you can have my food if you want I'm sorry I already ate some." I say.
Everyone except for mum and dad looked at me with a sad, pitied expression.
"No Faith I am sorry I was being over dramatic." He says with a forced smile as he pushes my plate closer to me.
"What does over dramatic mean?" I ask because I had never heard that word.
"It doesn't matter Faith I was just being silly." He says. "Don't feel you need to give anyone your food."
Everyone looks really sad at what I did. I was just trying to do something nice. I didn't know I did anything wrong,
"Did I make everyone sad?" I ask and I can feel guilty tears in my eyes.
"No you didn't." Ferris says.
"I did." I say and tears begin rolling down my cheeks. "I'm sorry."
I am a really bad person I made my family sad. Faye would hate me and be disappointed in me. If Finch was alive she would be mad. I bring my knees to my chest and cry into them, my sobs shaking my whole tiny body. I wish I didn't make them hate me.
"Faith what's wrong?" Finn asked who was sitting beside me putting a hand on my shoulder. I shake his hand away and got up and ran out of the room. They probably thought that I had gone up stairs but instead I stopped at the door to listen, I had seen Faye do this before.
"That child's more work then she's worth." Mommy says bitterly.
"She just lost her sister. You can't talk to her like that Faye and us basically raised her since you started ignoring us." Frank says.
"What are you talking about?" My father asks.
"Ever since Finch died you acted like are only purpose was to make money." Ferris says.
"You don't know how much we sacrificed for you kids!" My mother yells.
The yelling goes on. I sink to the floor and begin to cry, chocking on my own sobs. I made my family fight. I want Faye to be here with me. She would sit beside me and hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. Everything isn't okay. Faye is gone Finch is dead and I can't even remember her. I wish I could remember. I wish Faye and Finch where here, I wish my parents loved me and I wish I didn't family fight.
I look up at the mantel piece in front of me. On top of it is a small photo frame with a picture of our family from three years ago. I get up and pull the frame down from the mantel and look at it. I sit back down on the ground and look at it. Faye and Finch are looking at each other laughing, Finch is holding me and I am waving at whoever is holding the camera. Faye has both Finn and FIon in headlock with one on each side. Finley is standing on his tippy toes trying to be taller than Fiona who are standing beside another. Frank and Fallon are standing behind the pair they look like they are mid conversation. Mum and dad are standing in the middle staring normally at the camera smiling; Ferris is in between them looking over to Faye laughing at her antics. Me, Finch, Faye, Finn and Fion are to the left and to the right are Frank, Fallon, Fiona and Finley.
How come it's always the kindest and nicest that die before they are meant to?
I wish I could remember back then, I wish I could remember the time when we where a proper full family. Not a broken family with two daughters missing. I wish I could remember Finch. I feel tears burning in my eyes as they spill down my cheeks. I wish more than anything I could remember Finch. Actually if I am wishing for stuff I wish Finch and Faye where both here.
I feel someone put an arm around my shoulder. I look up at the person who is sitting beside me. Fiona is sitting beside me.
"Why can't we be a normal family?" I sob.
"I don't know." Fiona says. "I wish we were."
"Me too. I can't remember Finch." I say trying to take in enough air so I won't choke.
"It's not your fault Faith you where only two." Fiona whispers.
"Did she love me?" I say desperately, chocking on the last two words.
"Of course she loved you, she loved you so much whether you remember her or not." Fiona says stroking the lose strands of hair away from my face.
"I forgot Finch what if I forget Faye." I say reveling one of my worst fears.
"You won't forget her Faith; you won't be able to forget her." Fiona says.
"I forgot Finch how do you know I won't forget Faye." I say shaking violently at the idea.
"I promise you won't Faith." She says stumbling while getting up.
"Faye says you shouldn't make promises you can't keep." I remark taking her hand so I can get up.
"I can keep this one." Fiona says with a smile.
"I am only five some people don't remember before that age." I moan.
"Because she's going to win and come home and where going to grow old together in Victors Village." She says with confidence I could never have.
"How do you know?" I ask.
"She has to." Fiona says and begins to cry. "Because if this family loses another kid we will break. And if it's Faye it would be even worse."
"Why?" I ask.
"Because every one relies on Faye for everything, for money, for comfort, if we lose her who will comfort us." Fiona says looking at the picture still in my hand, letting out a weak laugh.
"Come on Faye I need to brush your hair it looks like the tangle fairies have been at your hair." She jokes ruffling my knotted hair.
I giggle and run up the stairs with her to our room so she can brush my hair. When we get to out room she sits me up in a chair at the desk. She stands behind me brushing my long red hair that we share. She looks in the mirror and sighs.
"I wish I had your eyes." She says.
I giggle. "They are nearly the same as Faye's but hers and Finches are prettier mine. How do their eyes look exactly the same?"
"I don't know but its weird isn't it." Fiona remarks.
I was about to say something when they where a loud knock on the door. I jump on from the chair my hair half brushed and run out of the room and down the stairs screaming: "I'll answer it, MY TURN MY TURN!"
I run to the door and fling it open. Standing there are six tall men and a woman dressed to white with big guns in their hands, peacekeepers. I back away into the person who is behind me who is Ferris. Ferris puts his hands on my shoulders, he gives them a reassuring squeeze but I can tell that he is nervous himself.
One of the peacekeepers looks down at me from his six foot five height.
"Are you Faith Fiona Crossley." He asks.
I nod and back further into Ferris intimated by his height.
"Miss we need you to come with us." He says harshly grabbing my thin wrist in his massive hand.
I shake my head my head violently as my hair whips around. I feel Ferris pulling me closer into him.
"She's not going with you." Fallon says angrily taking a step forward.
"Sorry sir you don't have a choice she is needed for the games." Another says.
"You're not taking her away as well you already took away two of my sisters you aren't getting another one." Fallon says.
I turn around into Ferris.
"I don't want to go." I whisper.
"You won't." He says more to the peacekeepers then me.
I feel a cold piece of metal being placed to the side of my head.
"You're sister will come with us dead or alive."
