Hello Nuggets,
Here is the next instalment, its a filler, but I feel like it sets up the next arc and theme very obviously haha I actually found it really hard to write this one so I apologise if its no good! Enjoyyyyyyyyyy
Thank you for the F/F - The Evo Girl, The Mysterious Narrator and Zartacla7.
Thank you for the utterly amazing reviews also - and FanaticomaticSuperTolkienLover
I only own little Todd!
Chapter 27 – Personal, Private
Thorin had watched as their fox had snuck outside, she had been waiting with baited breath as Gandalf made sure that their host was not anywhere near by, and once the all clear was given she had stepped outside. The rest of the company still not so keen to be outside where that giant bear could easily get to, and Thorin was glad. He didn't like the idea of having his company so close to a wild creature, especially one as large and vicious as the one who was hosting them. He had to shake his head at the notion.
His mind had been working in over time since he had seen Bofur comforting Todd the night before. He reminisced of a time when he was completely adamant that if she was to create distractions to his company she would have been kicked out, shunned and told to leave. For he didn't, and still didn't have enough time to waste. He didn't need someone dragging them behind, he didn't need someone distracting his company, having them looking out for her, when he was explicit that when she joined it would be her job to protect them. The more he thought about it, the more it frustrated him to no end. He understood that she had thrown her life on the line for the company, for himself, yet now she was holding them back almost. He overtook sense and let himself get angry, as was his nature.
He barked his orders, he had Oin, Gloin, Dori and Ori making a start on pooling together the left-over resources that the Goblins missed, and counting them up, which was nothing Gloin was too happy about, never the less he had given them a task and they would complete it. The rest of his company, including the rather clueless Hobbit were sharpening weapons and cleaning off any Goblin filth still marring them. It was an effective use of their winding down time, for the notions did not take up any effort, his Company were still resting and he was glad for it, they had been walking for a long time again. Then for them to have to run for their lives, for what felt like the hundredth time, it was good for them to be able to sit down and count their blessings.
However, another side of him, the one that quite often won over, was saying or screaming even to round them all up and take what they need, permission from their host or neigh. Then they would be off on their way to his Mountain. He knew that they must have been half way by now, the only things between them, were a few more plains, the Green Wood and then the Great Lake. All of which, could be easily navigated if it weren't the Orc pack on their heels.
His mind flashed to the sight of his most deadly foe, one that he thought and had thoroughly believed he had killed way back when. The very existence of Azog the defiler threatened him, and not only him but his sister and his sister sons. He could not have it, and he would not have it. He swore to himself there and then on the spot that the next time that they were faced with that pale scum, he would end it, even if it killed him trying, he would kill it once and for all. Rid the threat altogether, for his sister sons. A fire awoke in him at the thought of being able to wipe that filth from the earth once and for all, it wasn't a case of doing it to save himself, he wanted to. He wanted to inflict pain on the very scourge that killed his kin. His retribution would be as swift as he could make it.
Thorin woke himself then from his thought process and went to seek out the dwarrow he needed. Once finding the happy fellow, he stood, hands snaking into the pockets of his thick coat.
"A word please, Bofur" He demanded, more than asked. Bofur immediately looked from his mattock to his King, nodding his head. "Follow me then!"
With that Thorin moved off and up the steps into the hearth of the home. He pulled himself up onto a seat at the large table, and couldn't help the sigh that escaped him as he watched Bofur do the same, yet opposite him. He could tell that Bofur was nervous, which made him think that his companion would know the nature of the talk they were about to have. Thorin thought over his words carefully, which was a first, for he knew himself that he was always a kind of speak first, regret inevitably later. Yet the matter that he was about to broach needed tact, for he was debating whether it was indeed, a matter of the heart or not.
"I have had my eye on yourself and a certain female member of my Company, Bofur…" He started, watching for a reaction very closely. Bofur made an 'O' shape with his mouth and his eyes immediately fell to his hands that were resting on the table. "You have been getting very close."
"I understand that this is an extremely important and delicate quest that we are on, I would never do anything to jeopardise the outcome!" Bofur stated, his back straightening out and his expression becoming hard, like he thought he was going to have to make a case. This made Thorin bristle a little.
"My next question is a complete breach of your personal affairs, yet due to the nature of our situation and of our rather delicate quest, It makes it my business…" His eyes never once left Bofurs, for he wanted to see every reaction so he could gauge the reaction.
"I will answer with the honest truth Thorin, you are my King and I would never be anything but truthful!" Bofur rushed almost, he was conflicted between being wary and nervous.
"I would like to know the depths of your feelings for Miss Todd, I need to know whether this is something serious, or if it is something born from the necessity of having close company on a long hard journey?" Thorin let his question hang in the air between them, his eyes noting every change in the miner's features.
Bofur was left a little stunned by the question. The deeply private and personal question. It was something that he was only beginning to understand himself and he had been certain that the only other people that had really caught on to his situation were his Brother and Cousin, of whom he had seen give him looks and winks to him in times of closeness with Todd. He knew that he cared for the lass, and he knew for a fact that he found her utterly breath taking, everything she did caught his eye and he could talk to her about the most boring things and the most engaging things all day. Listening to her speak and especially hearing her melodious laugh made something shift and spark within him. He knew that he had not given her his heart yet. When a dwarrows gave his heart that was it, Dwarves only loved once. It was so, that they had their lovers, their one and only forged by their maker himself. They would be made for each other, the perfect fit. Some dwarrows never found their One's, as they had been called, never giving their hearts to anyone, they would dedicate themselves to their work and their crafts. This was the main reason why dwarves were such hard workers, for some, it was their love and their passion. For some they knew straight away, other the feeling crept up on them like the shadows in the night.
Bofur had never thought in a million years that he would meet his perfect match, but he was never against the idea. To have someone that means the world to you, and of whom thinks the world of yourself was a dream everyone harboured to some extent. The more he thought about it, the more it warmed his spirit, to think that Todd was maybe his one and only. He could imagine spending the rest of his days listening to her voice, seeing her smile and just being around her. He had already promised himself that he would do anything to keep her safe, seeing her in pain hurt him more than he could even imagine. Anger bubbled within him as the image of the foul and loathsome Goblin King defiled her beautiful red curls, he knew that she was still just as beautiful to him, if not more, to see her fighting on still, being strong after such a horrific thing.
"She has caught me, I want nothing more than to be able to know her better, to make her laugh and make her happy." Bofur began, his eyes going from his King and back down to his lap. "I am still not certain on the depth of my affections though!"
"Then you need to stay away from her, I won't have you being distracted by her, that's not why I allowed her on this quest." He stated, showing no emotion, his eyes blank as they stared through Bofur's. He had feared of this, this was exactly what he didn't want. The worst case scenario.
"I don't follow?" Bofur admitted, his face dropping completely.
"The only reason I allowed her on this quest was to protect us, she has done admirably so far, that I cannot dispute. Yet I warned her that the moment she began to be a burden or a distraction, she was out." He began, with every word, Bofur could feel his heart dropping from him. He could feel the colour drain from his face. He was going to be told to leave her alone, to not seek her company out, and that made him feel so wrong. "We need to remember that woman is of a species that conjures thoughts of darkness and distrust, something that we now know better off from first hand, others will be quick to judge and harsh to act, you might want to think over your position from here on out"
"The lass is a dwarrodam too?" Bofur tried, yet when his King merely shrugged his shoulders, he let his drop. "Are you asking me to keep a distance?"
"That I am, a more than respectable distance" Thorin nodded, his eyes drifting from Bofur to around them.
"What about then this quest is well and done, will I have to keep my distance then?" Bofur knew that this was going to be extremely hard, especially after coming to terms with his more than platonic feelings.
"You may do as you wish when we have taken back my Mountain, yet I cannot for certain say that she will be completely welcome to stay, there will be those that won't see the good in her like we have seen, just think on it!" Thorins statement made Bofur pause completely. Thorin sensing he had said enough, turned and strode away.
How could she not be welcome? Bofur's mind went into over drive and he could not bare to get all the way to the Mountain with her helping them, for to retake it with her by their side, and then have her turned away. She should always be welcome in her home, right there by his side, with the Companies side. That was where she belonged, and it was where she needed to be. She had been telling them the whole journey of how she was doing this quest in honour of her Father, and to find herself a home because she had been without one for so long. She knew more about the lost Kingdom of Erebor than some of the dwarves Bofur knew from home.
His mind jumped to the moment he felt Todd take his hand. When he had realised that maybe, just maybe she had similar feelings to him. The way she had looked to him, with her delicate little hand placed within his large rough one, just felt right and he wanted to be able to take her hand again, but he couldn't. He wasn't allowed. A deep scowl fell upon his features and he felt his hands ball into fists. If it was anyone else telling him what to do he would have had more to say about it, yet this was Thorin, all but giving him an order. This was royalty, how could he possibly do anything other than what he has been told. He would have to bury the feelings that had begun to bloom within him. Cover them up and leave them behind, for now.
