He held the hilt of the sword in his hand as it pulsed gently. It seemed the sword knew where his thoughts lie as he watched the girl sleeping before him.

There was nothing about his character that he had avoided examining like his affection for her as a child and now as a woman. He would not insult his own intelligence by pretending that he did not care for her in some way or another.

He'd gone to great lengths to protect her, he'd kept her fed and clothed all the years they'd traveled together, and he'd even left her among her own kind to thrive. Her loyalty, kindness, and her lack of fear were traits that he appreciated about her since she had been a child but he also knew that the same traits contributed to her naivety and would subsequently contribute to her third death if he didn't leave her to her own devices.

In time, he thought, she would fade away into the recesses of his mind as a memory. Her life would be peaceful and fulfilled, she would marry and have children who would be as fearless and trusting as she was and perhaps he'd come across their children a century from now.

Instead she grew into an enigma that refused to be ignored, her existence inexplicably tied to his. A fact he could not deny with Tensegia at his side. Even as his hand tightened around her throat that night he knew, he knew that killing her would kill the only part of himself he did not yet know and that he so desperately could not understand or forsake. The part of him that held both his strength and weakness, the part of him that he knew would only be discovered in her presence.

He noticed the girl has been oddly quiet the past two days as they continued to travel. Yet, it was not unlike the Rin he knew as she occupied herself with flowers, fruits, and the good humor in Jaken no one else seemed to understand.

She was quiet, content, and yet contemplative as she sat down with a flower in hand with her arms around her knees. As his eyes began to follow the curve of her lips, pursed together in hushed conversation, he decided that he'd had enough of her silence.


"What are you thinking, Rin?" he asked as Jaken prepared the fire.

She looked up at him her brown eyes growing in surprise.

"I'm sorry?" she replied, confounded by his interest.

"You've been very quiet." He noted. "Since you slayed the water serpent."

That wasn't true, he realized. She'd been quiet since he'd told her to be and perhaps (he thought) she was only following his orders, perhaps now she knew her place and would hold her tongue.

How truly unlike her that would be and how dull it would make her. Did she think he was upset with her? Did she fear him now? Did he want her to fear him? Not now, not as it hindered her speech.

He chose his next words carefully, as to draw out the long-awaited smile he couldn't admit to himself that he was waiting for.

"I did not know you possessed such a talent, perhaps I've underestimated you." He continued.

Rin's chocolate eyes widened before warming, melting, and shining in response; her face lighting up and her smile finally creeping onto her face as if it were just coming out of hiding.

"I've heard the wise are slow to speak." She replied wittily.

He cocked a brow at her in intrigue as he wondered how to respond.

Jaken nodded walking over and sitting beside the two headed dragon. "This must be true, the great Lord Sesshomaru speaks so little that one might believe he is mute, thus he is the wisest and I-"

Suddenly Jaken moaned as he rubbed a lump growing on his head from the rock that had beamed him.

Rin shook her head in exasperation for the small imp and yet couldn't help but smile.

"Nonetheless," Sesshomaru continued, "I'd rather hear what you have to say or we will both have only Jaken to listen to. Surely, that is not the choice of the wise." He muttered.

Rin's smile grew more pronounced in agreement.

"I was simply thinking of strategy, after all one cannot go into battle with metal and muscle."

His eyes narrowed, "And what have you come up with?"

"Nothing of substance." She said easily. "I was hoping you could tell me more about the land and about the way they fought, from there perhaps I could devise a plan that could yield better results."

Spoken like a true strategist, he thought, smart enough to think before acting and humble enough to ask without shame. Had she been a yokai, this talent would have surely been appreciated in his court, but she was a mere maiden, with a fragile concept of time and a weaker concept of her constitution.

"Do you consider yourself a warrior, Rin?" he asked suddenly.

The question didn't pull her up short like he supposed it might, instead she sighed, and an expression of exhaustion coveted her features.

"I don't know what I am." She admitted.

She got up and sat in front of A-Un, pulling out a piece of fruit from behind her kimono and feeding it to the two headed beast, petting it softly and reveling in its sounds of contentment.


It was true, she didn't know what she was. She hated killing, it was truly against her nature, but like all living things she yearned to survive. More, she wanted to survive by his side, where there would be bloodshed and turmoil, if she did not possess her own strength she would surely be a burden to him.

A burden.

She had been a burden her whole life, she'd been a burden on the village that took her in after her parents died, she'd been a burden to Lord Sesshomaru after he'd saved her, she'd been a burden for years to Kaede who only sought to look after her, a burden to Inuyasha when she tried to run away countless times…..eventually she had grown tired of the role. It had taken time but she had finally learned to be strong, to carry her own burdens so that she wouldn't be one to others and that meant becoming both a slayer and a caretaker. In order to be both she had to be a strategist, she had to understand her weaknesses and her strengths, and know how to use them to her advantage. Although this was true and had led to her success as a slayer, it was no secret that more often than not, she was a lover than a fighter.

She tried to use her words before using force, and sometimes it worked. Most times however it came down to her or the enemy and it couldn't be her; she had a purpose, something to live for. She hadn't learned to be a demon slayer in order to slay, she learned in order to survive.

The kami had been kind enough to bless her with eager friends, humans and demons alike, who respected and shared her ideologies. Her kindness shun through her and so through her justice prevailed. Yet, she was a walking contradiction, an oddity.

She did not belong. She was no warrior, she did not seek battle, nor did she find a thrill in it. She was not some fair maiden whose goal was to settle, marry, and bear children; she had a different purpose she was sure. So, what was she?

The question ransacked her mind and hid behind her smile.

The only time she ever felt right was by his side and so it was there that she was determined to stay.