Happy Bonfire Night! I hope that everyone has had a good weekend...
Here is the next instalment, I actually really enjoyed writing this and I hope that you enjoy reading it... I've also gone back and tweaked some of my earlier Rivendell Chapters because I had a little Arwen timeline mind slip. It had been bugging me for a while, but I was prompted so, I went back and edited that bit.
I would LOVE to hear some of your thoughts, reviews literally make my day!
Thanks for the F/F: jess114, Syret, Magic126 & Mephistominion
Also big thank you to ro781727 for helping me out and pointing me in the right direction, you are a star!
I only own little Todd.
Chapter 32 – Counting Stars
They had made good ground on their first day from Beorns home. Todd had ridden ahead for the most part and scouted along the tree line, making sure that her ears were pressed to listen for any on coming threats. It had been long and boring, but the most exciting thing that happened all day was seeing a doe through the leaves, before it skittered away. Its white tail bouncing as it fled. She had settled herself into thinking of her future, dreaming of walking through the stone corridors, seeing her fathers old store, where he had created works of art with silver, gold and gems that could light up the sky. He had been so proud and heartbroken to tell her. It was located right down within the Mountain, away from the Gate Keepers Braziers, and away from the entry way. It was in the main market place, standing proud right on the corner opposite the huge balcony that overlooked the glittering Royal halls below. She could practically see it in her head when she channelled her fathers voice, how he had tears in his eyes when he would tell her about his lost and forgotten home.
The thought kept her calm, kept her sane. She used it to push herself forward, for something was telling her to turn back, the itch in her head was getting worse, and she knew that these sick woods they were bearing down on, would not help one bit.
So she had let herself get engrossed in scanning the grass lands and small copse areas for dinner. A few hares escaped her daggers, but in the end she was able to catch them a squirrel and two hares. She knew that Bombur would be happy with her, and she hoped that by extension, Bofur would also be happy. They hadn't even shared a word with each other all day, and she was beginning to doubt herself. She had thought that they were close, and she had hoped to become closer to him, but with the way that he had been acting she was starting to completely rethink everything. Had he even cared for her as much as she had thought? Did he not want to be close to her anymore? Had she done something wrong? The thoughts were troubling, and she didn't need them after the beautiful thoughts she had been concentrating on all day. She decided that tomorrow, whist riding, she would catch him up and ask him forthright, if he was ok. That was the best she could do.
The camp that evening was set up against the back of a huge weeping willow, that was bent over a particularly bendy shaped stream, of which almost made a full circle around the solemn tree before flowing off back towards Beorns. The dwarves had decided that the stream was wide enough to form a barrier, for nothing could cross water without making a rather loud splash, and the tree gave a little shelter. So they set to it, making a small fire, but quelling it with stream water once the dinner was cooked. Everyone shared stories and chatted away into the dark of the night.
Gandalf had disappeared off into the darkness, to seek the company of the great bear no less, for there really was nothing but wilderness surrounding them. No villages of man, no whiff of any Elvish city, nowhere for him to run off to. All in all, it was quiet.
Todd volunteered for the first watch, and set herself down on the outskirts to keep her watchful eyes and her sensitive ears on high alert. Yet with the great bear man Beorn following them keeping the Wargs and their riders at bay she was in for a very uneventful and boring watch. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred, and so she took to soaking in all the stars above her. Herself and her Mother would star gaze together, when her Father would travel a little farther afield for his metals and gems, they would sit out and make pictures from the stars. All the while knowing that even though her father was far away on business, he was still under the same stars. She tried to draw pictures with them like she used to when she was just a wee child, and was just tracing the outline of what she knew was the big bear when she heard Kili turning over and pulling himself out of his borrowed blanket. She turned her head and watched him stand and stretch before heading over to her, stumbling a little as the rest of his sleep fell away.
"Here, my turn…" He said with a yawn as he plopped himself down next to the now exhausted Todd. They could barely see each other, the sliver of moonlight casting a gentle glow down around them. She smiled to him, and tapped a finger to his forehead. "Sleep well!"
"Thank you, don't let yourself get too cold now" She replied as she passed his forgotten blanket, grabbing it up and throwing it over to him. She made her way silently over to where Bilbo had saved her a space. He had laid out a blanket for her and had even made a makeshift pillow out of a bundle of leaves. She was extremely grateful as she got herself snuggled into the blanket, and shut her eyes. It took her mere seconds before she was fast asleep, the days journey finally winning over.
Rolling over in the night she stirred and sighed, wishing it was a little cooler. Keeping her eyes shut, she pushed the blanket down from her shoulder, letting it pool over her waist, much like how she did when she was a child during the hottest nights in the summer time. She wanted to feel the breeze on her arms, to have it dance across her heated skin to cool her down. Yet she was greeted by more heat, like a hot breath running along her. Her groggy sleep filled mind decided that a fire must have been lit during the night to warm them up, it must have gotten very cold to make Thorin clear that decision.
The more the sleep left her, and the more the heat began to make her feel uncomfortable, and with that the more she became aware of her surroundings. At first she could hear cracking, thinking it was the fire that must have been lit by the company she had ignored it. Yet it was growing louder, and louder, until now it was all she could hear. Cracks and groans of wood being eaten by fire started to consume her and it felt like she was being swallowed up. She could hear thudding and thumping sounds some rhythmic like footsteps running and scrambling to get away, then others loud and crumbling as if things were falling to a hard ground.
She tried with all her might to move, but she was frozen, utterly confused and scared. She had to move though, if she was surrounded by fire, she needed to run, to get away to safety and find the others. Todd opened her eyes and slowly and painstakingly shifted her head to see what was going on. She immediately wished she hadn't, she wished she had kept laying there with her eyes closed, ready to be sucked into the roaring flames.
Everything was burning.
She appeared to be on a decking of some sort, that was connected to walk ways that were flickering and crackling in the heat. There were boats moored up, swaying violently as the disturbed water splashed up around the falling debris that fell into it. Not even the water was safe, for large lumps of wood were burning as they floated atop the water. That was when she noticed the people, some were swimming, trying to jump to safety, rather to be frozen in the water, than burnt alive. Others were floating, motionless. Her heart broke and she pushed herself to her feet, stumbling, arms coming up to shield her face from the flames, she tried to move to the waters edge. Only for the fire to roar up before her. Cutting off her path.
Twisting away from the orange tongues of pure white-hot heat, she saw people were running out of ramshackle wooden houses and in all directions, their children in their arms and their fear and horror in their eyes. It was complete chaos, everyone was scared blind and stumbling into each other in their panicked flight. Huddled by a door way was a little girl, clutching at a brown burnt doll, her eyes were scrunched up, tears streaming down her face. Todd lurched forwards dodging a man dragging a screaming burnt red woman behind him. She reached the girl and scooped her up into her arms. She must have been but a mere human child, tiny even against Todd's small frame. Spinning away from the groaning and creaking house, all she could do was move back to the platform and hold the girl close as every possible escape route was snatched away from her. Fire was bursting out of doorways and windows, crawling over the walk ways and swallowing everything. There were people screaming, shrill and pained, terrified. All Todd could do was watch as the people around her were consumed, until all that was left was the fire. Its red, orange and blue flames pouring across the walk way towards her. She rushed to the centre of the wooden platform and looked down to the girl. Her little green eyes were staring up at her as her short red curls stuck to where her tears had soaked her face. There was pure terror in her eyes, and Todd felt her own eyes glisten with tears. Something about the girl was painfully familiar.
"It's ok, I won't let you go!" Todd stated, pulling the girl back into her chest, keeping her close.
The walkways started to collapse and she could feel the floor beneath her shaking. This was it. They would be tossed to the waters below, or burnt to death. She found a sob escaping her as she crouched down to the floor, curling herself around the little girl as she too closed her eyes. Todd prayed to Mahal and Yavanna to deliver them, prayed to be welcomed to the halls of her Makers, to see her Mother and Father together again, smiling and waving, as if she was merely coming home from mucking around in the local pond before dinner.
Everything was flooding towards her, the breaking and cracking of the wood, the roaring and bellowing of the flames all flying towards her.
Then just as she flinched, expecting pain, she felt a huge gust of freezing wind knock her on to her side, but no pain came. No burning. No consuming fire, just cold.
Opening her eye's, she chocked, her mouth falling open as she tried to pull in a steady breath.
She didn't see any fire, no flickering or embers of any sort. The platform had vanished and the wooden houses were no where to be seen. Before her was an open expanse, the shadow of trees and hills far into the distance. Grey thunderous clouds loomed over head, a light snow flurry being carried through her air before her. She immediately felt frozen, as if she had found herself in the dead of winter without a coat and warm boots. She looked down to herself and knew she was wearing what she had fallen asleep in. The borrowed trousers and undershirt, the fabric tied around her as a belt, and her usual bare feet. Nothing appropriate for the winter she now found herself in.
She sat herself up, noticing now that the child that had been securely within her arms had also vanished. She threw herself onto her feet and span, eyes darting, trying to find her. As she span her eyes fell upon the girl, stood with her back to Todd, little arm out pointing to something beyond a bare and baron willow tree. Todd sighed in relief that the girl was alive, so she made her way over to her. Eyes trained on the short red curls. The closer she got, the more that nostalgic feeling washed over her. She knew this girl, she had to. Something about her was scarily familiar. She stood there, in a little woollen dress, her feet bare, hand tightly grasping a plain and burnt doll, the other hand outstretched and pointing still.
"What is it?" Todd called as she strode up behind her.
"Death" The little girl replied.
Todd made it to the little girls side and followed her outstretched hand. A gust blew the draping arms of the dead willow out of the way, giving Todd a view of what lay before them. Todd's eyes flew wide and a screech flew from her as she collapsed to her knees. She felt her whole world fall apart before her eyes. Her chest felt like it was about to break apart, she couldn't bear it.
At the base of the willow laid the Company, her Company, her friends, her new family. All of them, strewn across the ground below the tree. Bodies broken and caked in their own dried out blood. Their eyes were open and unseeing, lost.
"No… no no no… please!" She gasped as she fell into hysterics.
She crawled forwards and found the curly hair of her Hobbit. Bilbo laid with his eyes lost to the sky above them, his left arm draped over his stomach, his worn waist coat sliced open, and his white undershirt stained red. She dropped her head to his shoulder and sobbed. What had happened? Why hadn't she been there? Why didn't she save him, like she had promised she would all that time ago. She would never see his smile, or hear his cheerful yet flustered voice when the lads teased him. She lifted her head up to try and clear her eyes, but ended up falling back onto her behind.
Beside her lay Bofur whose hat had fallen across his face, his body was twisted, as if he had fallen from a great blow. She pulled him onto her lap and pushed the hat from his face. Bofur had his eyed shut, and if it wasn't from the way he had bled out, or from the deathly cold feel of his skin she would have said he was just sleeping. She felt something within her snap, and she knew that she would never be the same again. She would never fix this pain, nothing would ever make it right again. She had lost him, lost her Bofur, lost her one.
Tears streamed down her face, dropping her head down into his hair as she cried so hard her throat began to close, and her head rang. Todd ran her hands through his hair repeatedly, as if she was trying to sooth him. But he wasn't coming back, and there was nothing she could do. She had done nothing to save him, to save anyone of them. Now she had lost everything that she had come to love, and hold dear. All the friendships she had worked so hard to create, all the memories of laughter, fighting and struggle, but they had done it together. Memories of teasing Bilbo, of playing pranks with the lads Kili and Fili who now lay bloody and dead in each other's arms. Of writing and sketching with Ori, who was face down in the dirt beside his brothers.
"Look!" Came the girls voice again. Todd turned her face towards her, with everything she loved in her arms and surrounding her, deceased. It was then that she realised why this girl was so familiar, with the hair and everything about her. It was Todd, how she looked when she was a child. Now she looked to her younger self as her eyes turned as black as the night, a sick and twisted grin spread over her face, making Todd blanche. "Look what comes for you!"
Fire burst out of the air before her eyes swallowing the younger Todd with it, the heat exploding against her skin causing pain to flood her senses, yet rendering her frozen in place. A black figure appeared in the flames as they formed a hellish eye. A voice split through her head making her fall to the ground in pain, its gargling and cracking voice chanting in her head.
"Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul…"
"TODD!"
Todd awoke with a start, her body throwing itself up into a seated position, arms flailing before her before being caught by someone. Her eyes were wide and darting about, searching for the girl, for herself, for the eye. Yet all she found was the increasingly worried eyes of Kili. She sucked in a deep breath, the image of Kili and Fili dead in each others arms appeared in her mind before she realised, it was all a horrific nightmare, and that Kili was alive. When she let her eyes adjust and sweep the area behind Kili, she found too that everyone was alive, just sleeping. She lifted herself up and felt her eyes spill over when she saw that Bofur was fast asleep between his Brother and Cousin, she watched as his chest rose, and fell with his breathing. She felt such agonizing relief that her head swam.
"Kili…" She whispered, her voice breaking a little. She immediately wiped at her eyes and coughed to clear her throat. "Sorry!"
"Are you ok?" He asked, concern laced in his voice.
"uhmh… yeah I think so" She mumbled, shifting so that she was sat crossed legged, pulling the blanket from where it was twisted around her legs back to being draped over her cold skin. "Just a bad dream…"
"Must have been an awful dream, you were crying… then" He explained, moving to sit down properly next to her. "Then you were thrashing about like someone was attacking you?"
"It was awful Kili…" She breathed, her eyes glistening up again. She almost spilled what had happened, before realising, it was probably best kept to herself. "… but its over now, I'm ok, thanks for waking me!"
"You know, a good way to clear your head when you're unable to sleep from a busy or worried mind is to count the stars, me and Fili used to do it all the time when we first started our journey to the Shire. We had never really been that far from Ered Luin, so we were worried and nervous, plus we missed our Mother…" He smiled warmly to her as he told his story, and she knew he was only doing it to take her mind from her dream. She blessed him to Mahal and back for being such an adorable lad and trying. As he went on, she felt herself relaxing just a little. "… We would sit up and up waiting for sleep some nights, so Fili started counting the stars, out loud at first, then we found that the more we did it, the quicker and quicker we started to fall asleep… we don't bother now, one look at what I might think is a star, and I'm out like a candle light!" He chuckled at his own story, and Todd couldn't help but chuckle with him.
"Thank you… really thank you Kili, you're such a gentleman!" She touched her finger to his forehead again, like she had earlier.
"You're welcome, would you like me to stay sat with you till you're back asleep?" He offered with a nervous smile. "Want me to count the stars for you?"
"No, don't worry, I'll give it a go… thank you" She insisted, making a move to lay back down.
"I could wake Bofur?" He tried.
"Oh no, please don't… worry him that is, I'm ok… really!" She whispered, smiling at his gesture. She didn't think Bofur really wanted to talk to her, let alone be woken in the middle of the night to help her after something as plain as a nightmare.
Kili nodded and moved back to his spot where he was keeping watch. She watched as he settled back down, his back to her as he looked out into the night. She sighed, laying her head back in the leaves. She was about to start counting the stars above her when she felt someone take her hand. Peering to her left, she saw that Bilbo was watching her, his arm outstretched so that he could take her hand in his own.
She smiled sadly to him, remembering how it felt to see his bloody and broken body before her. She didn't know what she would do, or what she would become now if she lost him, if she lost any of the Company. That feeling that had come over her in that nightmare, she would never survive it. That gaping and agonizing pain that had bored a hole in her chest was a nightmare in and of itself. If it happened for real, she would die herself, if she ever lived to see Bofur die it would be the end of her. Bilbo too was her brother, her family, and she had lost her family once, she didn't want to again. Seeing his worried and kind eyes looking to her full of life made her relax. Now that she knew he was alive, that they were all alive, she was ok. For now.
