Hello All,

It really has been a long time again since I posted... I have no excuse other than I am an extremely obsessive compulsive person and I just hadn't been able to get into the Hobbit for a while. BUT, here is the next chapter, and I have written up another 5 so I really hope you enjoy this... its starting to really settle on dark themes.

Once again, thank you for all the follows, favourites, and delightful reviews, I ADORE hearing from you all, and it does mean a lot, so thank you.

I do not own The Hobbit, just my OC.


Chapter 37 – Pretending, Deceiving

They had been walking for a week now, the same routine falling over them. They would wake, and stumble along the path as it wound its way around and over, and in some cases under, the massive rotting roots and trunks of the trees that now seemed to tower so high over them that they couldn't see the sky. The air had become thick like honey after they had set off on their second day, and by now the Company were fed up and wanting just to feel a breeze. The feeling of the wood was starting to turn, and much like how Todd had felt right from the moment she had seen it in the distance, they were beginning to feel their stomachs twist and complain. It was almost as if a veil of murkiness had been draped over them, making their minds foggier and their moods darken. There was nothing to lift their spirits. There was no cooling breeze to float across their skin giving them a relief from the constant dry air. There was no sound other than the creaking of the high branches as they groaned and knocked together, the bird song had long since evaporated and the usual scurrying of woodlands creatures was painfully missing.

The Company at first had stayed in positive spirits, with a few of them keeping up conversation throughout the trekking, yet the further and further they wound into the wood, the quieter they got, and the more aggravated they got as to the fact that it seemed like there would never be an end. It was at this point on the fourth day, that they were starting to snap at each other. Todd had remained the last in the group as they went along, but Bilbo had taken to loitering at the back with her, Bombur before him to keep him company. Yet they were mainly holding up at the back to make sure that the Company didn't walk off too far, leaving Todd behind.

It was no secret to everyone in the Company that she was struggling.

She had become like the walking dead. She would fail to sleep at night, for every time she closed her eyes that dark fox was there waiting, a sick grin over its muzzle as it practically salivated at the sight of her. Her eyes were red raw from where she had been balling her hands into fists to rub away at the tiredness within them. Her skin was so pale, it almost looked as if she was about to turn translucent, the dark grey and green murk of the trees reflecting off her creating even more of a sick looking visage. Her hair was a complete mess, and Bilbo had not seen it like that since they had escaped the Goblin tunnels. He wanted nothing more than to help her, but she was insistent that she was ok, and whenever anyone of the Company offered her help, she snapped and told them off. Therefore, everyone had just taken to looking out for her, but not offering her any other sort of care.

"The path turns this way" Thorin assured, as they set off again after a brief pause.

The path in some places had started breaking apart and this at first had set off a complete panic, with some of the dwarves shouting about not wanting to be lost within the forest for the rest of their lives. Therefore, when they came to such breaks in the path, everyone set to looking, yet making sure that one of the them remained on the path so that they could call out to those, making sure they didn't get lost. Thorin's new and main rule was created thusly; that no one was to move out of sight of the rest of the Company. It had been a real worry for Thorin, for if they were to lose the path, then like Gandalf had said, they would never find it again and that would be it. Getting lost could steal the time they need to be able to reach the Mountain before Durins Day, of which was still approaching, no matter how much he wanted it not to.

"How much longer do you think it will go on like this?" Ori had called out to them all, as they all but followed the path completely round in a circle around a hollowed-out tree trunk filled with effusive looking fungi.

"I should think we're almost out the other end" Dwalin replied.

"Ney Laddie, this isn't called the Great Greenwood for nothing, we still have at least another week to go…" Balin had admonished. His words making the whole company groan all at once.

"How're you getting on back there?" Bofur called back, pausing so that he could turn back towards where Bombur, Bilbo and even further back, Todd were shuffling along. His eyes lingered on her, his chest becoming tight as her appearance ripped at his insides. He wanted nothing more than to gather her up in his arms and help her along. His King would not have it, and who was he, a miner and mere toy maker, to do against it.

"We're ok" Bilbo shouted back, but his voice was strained.

Bofur met his brother's eyes and when Bombur shook his head before gesturing back over to Todd he sighed. He felt his hands ball into fists, his mind was screaming at him both to suck it up and help her, and to suck it up and leave her. The constant back and forth in his mind was starting to drive him a little mad. He was hoping that the process of blocking out his feelings would become easier, but every time he looked at her, and every time he heard her voice something in him lifted. Something about the incessant memories of how her emerald eyes had twinkled when he stole glances at her across the fire at night, or how her hair had shone so red it was like she had been kissed by the sun, or how her laugh made him instantly smile even though he had not heard the joke. It was becoming near impossible. He made then to move towards her, but only made it one step before Thorin's voice found his ears.

"Bofur!" Thorin barked.

Bofur turned back to his King to see him stood at the lead, a deep frown over his features as he shook his head at Bofur. The whole of the Company had stopped and were looking between Bofur and Thorin, their faces impassive as they read the situation. There was nothing they nor Bofur could do, so once again for his King, he shook his head and dropped his eyes and set off away from her.


Todd couldn't bare it, she had lifted her head just as Bofur had started towards her only to watch Thorin call him back, the very interaction had her blood boiling, the first real feeling that she had felt since a numbness had settled over her two days previously. Every step was making her feel like she would throw up, walking through this cursed forest made her feel like she would never feel well again for as long as she lived. Not that she remembered feeling well, her mind was starting to drift away from her and there had been a few times where she realised that she must have been walking for at least half a day before she woke up and her mind caught up to her body. It was incredibly frustrating, for when she then tried to remember back to what she had been doing, there were gaps in her immediate memory, as if she had fallen asleep and sleep walked her way behind the Company. It was scaring her a little, but also making her even more snappy towards everyone. She didn't know why it was all making her so angry, it was just as though it was the only thing that she could really feel. The itch in the back of her head and progressed now and was starting to drip down her spine, making her shudder so violently that her whole body would twitch.

She had given up hiding the fact that anything she ate reappeared, before the Company. There had been a few times now where Bilbo and Bombur, who lurked at the back of the Company to look out for her, had noticed her being sick and had hung back just to make sure that she was ok. There was nothing she could do, no matter if she stopped eating, she was still throwing up thick black muck. She knew that there was something incredibly wrong with her, but at the same time she knew it was nothing that Oin could fix with a salve or with a tea. It was something broken within her that was causing this sickness upon her, something that broke even more as soon as she entered the diseased wood.

This sickness has always been inside you…

She froze as soon as she had heard it. Her eyes going wide like the moon as they flicked around her, for she recognised the voice and there was no way that this was a dream, unless this was one of those times where she had zoned out and once she awoke she wouldn't remember. The voice had disappeared as soon as it had appeared, and she couldn't see anything other than the Company, the path and the rotting trees around her. There was no black Rebhane that she could see, the itch in her head rolled over and dripped down her spine once again making her shudder.

She had been trying her utmost to avoid sleeping so that she didn't have to face the scenes that it made her see. She appeared in the dream in front of the same image every single time she drifted off. The image of the company massacred before her, where she would feel the fresh and debilitating grief like she had never before, every single time. She would find Bofur and pull him to her, she had even taken to laying down beside his lifeless form, anything to make it stop, but still the image persisted. It was crippling her mentally. It wasn't as if he was talking to her either when she was awake. He had been avoiding her and she had no idea why, whether she had done something or said something wrong. Ever since that night in Beorn's, there had been a distance growing between them and it was making her visions even worse. It wasn't as if she could wake up from these horrid nightmares and seek him out to talk to him, to laugh and joke with him. There was nothing more she wanted than to be able to just talk with him, about anything, she didn't care.

He doesn't care, that's why he won't talk to you…

Again she froze, but it still wasn't anywhere near her, that she could see. Bombur and Bilbo had stopped by this time too and looked on scared for their friend as she desperately span around trying to find where this black foul creature was hiding. For all they knew, she had finally lost it.

You don't have to be asleep for me to visit you, you have much to learn…

It was precisely at the moment that she began throwing up once more.


"What do you mean that's all we have left?" Came Kili's shout from beside Bombur the next evening when they had stopped to set up camp.

The whole company were stumbling about trying to make sense of how to set up their bed rolls. Some of them just opting to falling to the floor and sleeping where they fell. Oin and Gloin tirelessly set about trying to make a fire, but once again the damp and moss-covered diseased wood they found just would not light, so they all settle down in a slightly sheltered nook in the base of a huge tree. There was a slight dip in the path, that made where they were settled seem as though it was a bowl. Thorin had decided that everyone had had enough and needed to rest up again.

"We need to cut down on our rations…" Balin announced as he looked over Bombur's shoulder as the rotund dwarve set about splitting up the dried meat and fruit that they had been given from Beorn.

"Cut down?" Kili moaned.

"We're barely eating enough as it is" Fili joined in from beside Kili where they were setting up a few bed rolls. Kili had taken to sleeping next to Todd every night and Fili therefore was never too far away. Ever since Kili had witnessed Todd's nightmare, of which he had told Fili about, they had stuck close. They had overheard a conversation between their Uncle and Dwalin, concerning Bofur and how he had been ordered to stay away from Todd and they did not agree at all. They took it upon themselves to keep an eye out for her because their friend could not.

"We only have what he have, lads" Balin countered, patting Bombur on the shoulder, for the rotund dwarve was doing the best that he could. There had been no sound nor sight of anything they could catch to add to their meals, which they had been hoping on. Todd usually caught a few meals here and there as they had travelled, but with how bad she was obviously feeling and looking, no one had asked her to.

So the Company started to settle down around in a circle like they had taken to over the path as to not lose it, and they tucked into their pitiful rations. They were all feeling the toll of the forest that night, with the lack of fresh air and a breeze upon their skin they were starting to get agitated. Something else they had noticed also was the fact that the temperature never changed all through the day and through the night, as if it was all just one big long mess. They were already struggling enough as it was to ascertain whether it was night or day, and the lack of a shift in heat did not bode well for their body clocks.

"I m… miss the b… birds" Todd stuttered, the first thing she had said that wasn't a snappy remark or an angry growl since they had entered the forest. The whole company looked to her as if they had just seen a ghost.

"Aye lassie, I miss them too" Balin sighed.

"I'd give anything to hear bird song right now…" Ori absentmindedly said as he picked at his boots.

They all hummed in agreement, yet the conversation never flowed on much from that point. Bofur once again was having to turn himself away to lay down, for looking at the way Todd's were watering made him want to punch something. The Company all settled in their own time and before long Todd and Nori who was on the first watch were the only ones left awake. She laid herself down and let her eyes fall to the blackness above her, wishing beyond anything that she could see the stars so that she could count them just like Kili had showed her all those nights ago.

She could feel the pull of sleep, it was creeping up on her like the tide up a beach. Yet she fought it, every time she thought sleep was upon her she was bite down on her tongue or dig her finger nails into the skin of her arms, anything to cause pain enough to keep her awake. It was a crude way of doing it, but it seemed to be the only thing that was working. The more and more she did it the more she felt her mind drifting away from her. She knew that the lack of sleep was making her go mad, but she would rather that than go through the rawness of seeing her Company dead before her.

They don't deserve you anyway…

She sat bolt up right then, making Nori jump a little, but once he realised it was just Todd he settled back down against the roots he had propped himself up against. His eyes though, didn't leave her as she began looking around, as if she had heard something.

"What is it?" Nori asked quietly, but he knew she would hear.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, he voice wavering as if she was about to cry.

"No, what is it?" He insisted, for all he had heard was her shuffling as she sat up, he cast his eyes around the group but found nothing out of the ordinary.

"A voice…" She muttered.

You could be so much better than them, if you'd just let go…

"There… d… did you hear it?" She gasped, eyes darting around them, she could feel her head getting cloudy again as the itch stretched out like it was greeting the voice.

"I didn't hear anything"

By this point, Kili and Bilbo who were sleeping either side of her had woken too at her and Nori's voices. They lay there listening as their dear friend seemingly fell apart before them.

"It's talking to me… telling me to… to…" Her voice tapered off as she started pulling at her dark mucky hair. Her voice sounded disjointed, as though she was half asleep still.

"Telling you what Todd?" Nori pushed, feeling as though he wouldn't get the chance again to see if she was really ok or not.

"It's trying to show me something" She admitted, her eyes drifting closed, then open again as she started digging her nails into her arm, this time drawing blood. "Show me som…something awfull"

"What is it?"

"Darkness and de…death" Her voice split through Nori, Kili and Bilbo.