a/n: This story follows the plot line to the movie 27 Dresses very closely. I do not own Harry Potter nor anything associated with the movie 27 Dresses, except for my undying love for both things. The opening dialogue in italics is taken from the movie, and any line with an * is also a direct or paraphrased quote from the movie.
Mozart found his calling at age five, composing his first minuet. Picasso discovered his talent for painting when he was nine. Tiger Woods swung his first club well before his second birthday. Me? I was eight when I discovered my purpose in life.
I was at the Hillsong Church in London for my cousin Tessa's wedding. It was the first big outing for Dad and I after Mum passed away, and he wasn't doing very well. I needed to use the bathroom before the ceremony began, so I excused myself to do so. As I was washing my hands, I heard a scream, and the bride came running out of her suite.
"Shit!" she said as she turned to look at the three inch tear on the back of her wedding dress. When she saw me, she apologized for her language. "Sorry, Hermione!"
"It's okay, we have cable," I said quickly.
"What am I going to do?" she said woefully to herself.
As I was drying my hands, I looked back in the mirror and noticed the bow that was tied around my head. I had an idea.
I took the ribbon from my hair, and weaved it into my cousin's wedding dress to hide the rip. I knew I needed to get back to my seat because Tessa was getting ready to walk down the aisle, but she stopped me as I headed for the door.
"Hermione, wait! Will you hold my train as I walk down the aisle?" Tessa asked me.
And that was the moment. That was when I fell in love with weddings. I knew that I had helped someone on the most important day of their life, and I couldn't wait for my own special day.
~o~
"Oh my goodness you're stunning!" said one of the bridal salon stylists.
"Absolutely beautiful!" a second complimented.
I was smiling from ear to ear as I modeled a spectacular wedding dress made of taffeta with a sweetheart neckline. It really does fit me spectacularly well, I thought before my phone rang.
"Katie! Hi!" I answered. "Yes, the dress fits perfectly! You're going to look so beautiful—yes, I know! Such a lucky coincidence that we're exactly the same size!" I paused to listen to the rest of her directions. "Yes, I'll be there soon. They just finished hemming. Remember, this is your day. You don't need to worry about a thing!"
I hung up and looked at the stylists, who seemed satisfied. They helped me out of Katie's gown so I could change into my bridesmaid dress instead. It wasn't terrible, considering the other bridesmaid dresses I'd worn in the past, but maybe someday the brides might pick something other than taffeta for the bridesmaid dresses. At least the lilac color was nice.
Remember how I said I fell in love with weddings? Well, I realized I had a knack for making someone's wedding day special after I graduated from University. A study group partner had a bridesmaid back out and asked me to fill in at the last minute. Of course I said yes, since I didn't know how to say no, and she gushed that I saved her day.
I would hardly call it 'saving the day,' but it did get me thinking. With no active love life of my own and very few hobbies outside of my job at an up and coming publishing company, I decided to put myself for hire. Wilkins Weddings was a one woman show, but my best friend and coworker Lavender Brown helped out on occasion. She was actually the one who came up with my witty slogan. Turn your 'woes' into 'wows' with this all in one wedding planner and bridesmaid for hire.
It was a decent side business, and tonight would mark wedding numbers twenty-five and twenty-six. I did say I had a hard time saying no, didn't I? Ordinarily I would have declined the second offer, but this one wasn't hiring. Parvati was my roommate and good friend at University, and I couldn't say no! Her wedding was a bit rushed, but the venues were fairly close together with staggering ceremony times. I knew I could make it work.
Satisfied with my hair and makeup, I left the bridal salon's dressing room and took the wedding dress off the rack on my way out the door. I had five minutes before I needed to meet Lavender, then we'd head to Katie's venue. Despite being nearly late myself, I still beat Lav to the intersection we agreed on.
"I'm here, I'm here!" I heard her unmistakable voice call.
"It's about time! I was beginning to worry," I told her, a frown crossing my face.
"Yeah, yeah. Remember I'm doing you a favor with this one," Lavender reminded me.
"I wouldn't call it a favor since I am reimbursing you for your time," I retorted. She shot me a look. "Thank you for doing this, by the way."
"I've got nothing better to do anyways. Why do you have all that stuff?" she asked me.
"Oh, nevermind that. Here, take this bag. It has tylenol, safety pins, anything you'll need in a pinch." I noticed Lavender's hair. It looked like it was thrown up haphazardly into a messy bun. "Lav, did you even try to do your hair?"
"What? The bitch said up, so it's up!" she chirped with an attitude*.
I rolled my eyes at her crassness. "I'll fix it when we get inside."
It wasn't that Lavender couldn't do her own hair and makeup. She absolutely could. Half the time, she was the one doing my hair and makeup for all these weddings! I just knew that if she wasn't invested in something, then she couldn't be arsed about it.
It didn't take long to get to the venue. Once inside, I handed the dress off to the maid of honor and fixed Lavender's hair. Pictures needed to start in five minutes in order to keep the ceremony on time. Things had to run smoothly if I was going to pull this off.
As if they could hear my thoughts, the doors to the bridal suite opened and Katie appeared. She was a beautiful bride! The photographer quickly lined us up for pictures, and in between shots Katie nudged me.
"Aren't the dresses great?" she asked. "The best part about it is you can shorten them and wear it again!" she said through nervous laughter.
I nodded and smiled. Rule number one was to always agree with the bride. It was funny how that saying had become a staple among all brides. I wondered if it was just something they said to make their bridesmaids feel better about spending all that money on a dress they'd only wear once. Because let's be honest: no one ever actually shortens the dress and wears it again. I can attest to that.
The ceremony started shortly after we posed for pictures. I was trying to be conspicuous, but I knew I was obsessively checking my watch. The presider of the ceremony was probably the slowest speaker I'd ever witnessed. Finally, the ceremony ended and the bride and groom were whisked away to get their own photos done. I knew I wouldn't be needed for at least an hour and a half when the reception was due to start, so I quietly slipped away and grabbed my bag.
I made my way outside and hailed a taxi. Luckily it didn't take long for one to pull over. I climbed inside and pulled my hair out of it's updo as I addressed the driver.
"30 Portman Square, please, and I'll give you £300 flat for the whole evening on one condition."
"Yeah, sure!" the driver said excitedly.
"You don't look in the rear view at all. I'll deduct £15 every time you do," I told him seriously.
He looked surprised. "That's easy. Deal!" The driver pulled onto the street and I began to undress. I needed to change into my other bridesmaid's dress before we arrived at our destination. "What are you doing?!" he asked as I pulled my current dress down.
"Hey! We had a deal. You just lost yourself fifteen. No looking!"
He shook his head. "Fine," he said as he shifted his eyes to the road.
When we finally pulled up to the address, I opened the door and paused before getting out. "I'll be right back!" I took my bag and headed into the venue.
"Oh, good! You're here! Do you have any of those extra thingies? I forgot mine," one of the bridesmaids said as she rushed over to me.
I reached into my bag and pulled out an extra bindi for her to put on as Parvati came out from an adjacent room. "You're here!" she cried excitedly.
"Of course I am! I wouldn't miss this for the world, you know that!"
"I know, I know. Wedding jitters I guess! Are you ready?"
"Absolutely," I answered.
The ceremony was a heartwarming blend of Hindu and Christian cultures as I watched from my spot next to the bride. I only had to check my watch a couple of times as the ceremony moved a bit quicker. I stayed for a few pictures before Parvati's cocktail hour began and then slipped outside. My taxi driver, whose name I learned was Seamus, was standing outside, leisurely waiting.
"What are you doing?!" I cried. "We have to go! Move it!" I knew I was probably being pushy, but I didn't have any time to spare. I caught him staring again on the way back, and quickly covering myself, I scolded him again. "You're down to 270 now. Do you really want to keep this up? It's great for me, but not for you."
"Alright, alright!" Seamus said as his eyes focused back on the road.
I made it back to Katie's wedding in time for dinner, and luckily Lavender didn't notice my absence. "So, I'm trying to decide between those two groomsmen over there. What do you think? The blonde or the brunette? I'm personally thinking the brunette myself. Tall, dark and handsome...really gives off the mysterious vibe, don't you think?" she asked me.
"Are you really only thinking about sex right now?" I asked her incredulously.
"What else are weddings good for other than a one night stand? Besides, I really want a man to rip this dress off me with his teeth! You could probably use a good one night stand yourself," she smirked at me as she got up and sauntered over to the men by the bar.
I shook my head as I checked my watch again. Duty calls, I thought. I grabbed my bag and headed back out to the taxi.
And that's how my night went. I was secretly thankful for Seamus, even though he couldn't resist looking in the mirror on more than one occasion. He stopped me before I walked into Parvati's wedding in the wrong shoes, so I decided I'd give him £10 back for that at least.
The night went by like any other wedding I'd attended; the only difference being me splitting my time between the two. That meant two meals, two different instances where I helped the bride use the bathroom, two times I had to dance to the staple wedding songs like the YMCA and the Electric Slide, and two cake cuttings.
There were also two heartfelt speeches where the brides each thanked me in kind for all of the work I did and how helpful I'd been through the entire process, not that I was in the business for the recognition. I just wanted to see these brides happy with their perfect wedding.
I was at Katie's wedding for the bouquet toss. I found myself on the floor with all the other single ladies, but I'd long since given up hope of catching the bouquet. Yet, as Katie tossed it I realized it was headed directly for me! I raised my hands in anticipation and just as it was about to come into my grasp, I was knocked out of the way, and most likely trampled on in the process. It knocked me out, so I honestly had no idea what happened before I came to.
When I did wake up, everything was slightly out of focus. I turned my head to see the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen, and the man behind them was quite attractive too. He was a redhead, which wasn't usually my type, and he had freckles that covered his face, with a large cluster along the bridge of his long, slender nose. I'd never seen this man before in my life, and yet I felt like I knew him.
I closed my eyes in an attempt to shake the thought from my mind. Don't be ridiculous. He's a total stranger, and he was probably the closest person nearby when you fell, I told myself. Lavender and another bridesmaid appeared behind the man as he maintained eye contact with me.
That was when I noticed my head was pounding. I moved my arm to grasp it and tried to sit up, but he stopped me. "Whoa, don't move. It could be a concussion. That was a serious fall." I heard him say. He turned around and looked at the bridesmaids. "Okay, I need you to get me some ice, you some strong liquor, at least 80 proof, nothing less, and you, go find a towel to cover the ice with."
He reached out his hand and helped me sit up. "Are you a doctor?" I asked him.
"No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were hovering so I figured they could use something to do," he said as he flashed me a lopsided grin. "Do you know your name?"*
"Hermione," I said simply.
"Hermione. Good. I'm Ron," he answered.
I couldn't help but smile back at him, albeit a bit shyly. "Thanks for helping me," I told him gratefully.
He helped me to my feet and made sure I was alright. I nodded and touched my head once more. Things felt a little woozy and his strong arms caught me before I started to fall backwards again.
"Maybe you should head home. Let me help you get a taxi," he insisted. I vaguely remember nodding as he led me to get my things and we approached the door.
Seamus was waiting outside as I got in. For some reason, Ron insisted on making sure I got home safely, even though I told him I was fine. The taxi ride started in silence, but I should have known that was too good to be true.
"Nice knickers, by the way," he said a bit too casually.
"Excuse me?" I asked. What was he talking about?
"I saw you changing earlier. How many weddings are you in tonight, anyways? Two, three?"
"Two. Not that it's any of your business." So much for thinking he was genuine.
"It's a little upsetting, don't you think?" He asked.
Who does he think he is, I wondered. I needed to think quickly. "What? They're both—" I paused awkwardly, needing to think up an excuse. "They're both really good friends of mine, so what was I supposed to do? I couldn't let them down because their weddings fell on the same night! It was fine until I was knocked over and hit my head." It wasn't a complete lie…
"That's not the upsetting part. I don't know how people stand attending one wedding, let alone two."
"What do you mean? I love weddings!" I defended myself, not that I needed to.
"Ah, yes. What exactly do you love? The bad food? The cheesy dances? Open bar? That's what has me coming back if I'm being honest." What was with this guy?
"What? No. If you must know, it's seeing two people in love. The special time in a couple's life when they're bonded together." I wasn't about to let him win.
"Ah, of course. Love. How could I forget. Love is patient, love is kind. Love makes me lose my mind."
I sighed. It wasn't worth getting into an argument with him, so I changed the subject. "What is it you do again?"
"I'm a writer," Ron said with a lopsided grin.
"Ah. Makes sense," I said as Seamus pulled up to my place. I handed Seamus his money. "Thanks for everything tonight. Here's £150. You know what you did."
"Well, thank you for—" I was about to thank Ron for his help tonight, but he was already out of the taxi. "Wait! Where are you going? Shay, don't go anywhere. He'll be right back," I said pointedly.
"Don't you think it's a whole lot of wasted money, time, and effort for something that honestly has a fifty-fifty shot at lasting a lifetime?" Ron asked as he walked around to my side of the vehicle.
"Oh, lovely, another man who doesn't believe in marriage. How relieving," I said sarcastically.
"I'm just saying! The whole thing is hypocritical. The fancier the event, the less likely things are going to work out," he said as he shrugged.
"How very insightful of you. Putting in the hard work to help hopeless romantics see reason in the face of love," I shot back. "Do you also tell small children that Father Christmas isn't real? Because you're quite good at bursting bubbles, and someone needs to blow that shite wide open*." I rarely swore, but this man was getting me all sorts of riled up.
"Hmm, so you agree? Believing in marriage is a bit like believing in Father Christmas, yeah?" he said with a laugh.
"No! I—" Why was I letting him get to me? I didn't understand it. I needed to end this conversation and get to bed. That fall was doing weird things to my mind. "I don't need to be arguing with you about this. I don't even know you!"
"Because you know I'm right?"
"No! Marriage is hard. It takes work, and if you're willing to work at something so much that you want to commit the rest of your life to that one person, then that's special, and should be celebrated! Cynicism, on the other hand, is easy." I held out my hand. "It was very...peculiar meeting you."
"You as well," he said as he shook my hand.
"Yeah. Goodbye," I said with an air of finality.
"Bye," he said. I crossed the street and stepped onto the sidewalk. I'd almost gotten to the steps when I heard him say, "Are you going to be in any weddings next weekend?"
"Very funny. I have to go. You can leave now," I said, waving him off.
"I'm just wondering. How many have you been in, anyway?"
"It's none of your business!" I called over my shoulder.
"Come on, just give me a number. Doesn't have to be exact!"
"Goodnight!" I said as I punched in my code and shut the door firmly behind me.
I shook my head as I climbed the stairs to my flat. Were there truly no genuine men left out there? Normally I'd put everything away upon walking in the door, but my feet hurt and head throbbed. So, I tossed the bag on the counter and changed into more comfortable clothes. I popped a few aspirin and hung both dresses up.
I stared at the large closet in my living room and sighed. Even though I was exhausted, I took the few extra steps to hang the dresses up along with the other twenty-four that were shoved into that small space. I wasn't sure why I kept them all, but I did. Maybe it was my little piece of nostalgia from each bride I helped.
The contents of the closet were about ready to burst, but I managed to shut the doors. Finally, I could sleep. I pulled the covers back on my bed, and closed my eyes as my head hit the pillow. Much to my dismay, thoughts of the negative redhead filled my mind. No matter how hard I tried to shake those thoughts away, he wouldn't budge. It was a relief when sleep finally consumed me.
~o~
I woke up Sunday morning and followed my normal routine, which meant immediately collecting my newspaper. I sat down on the sofa and sifted through the different sections until I found the one I was looking for.
"Ah, the Commitments," I said with a big smile on my face.
As if weddings didn't already consume the majority of my life, this was the reason I subscribed to The Telegraph, and I had no regrets. Billy Weston was one of the most prolific commitment writers I'd ever read. His coverage of weddings were always so romantic, and I only hoped that one day he'd cover my own.
"Ha, take that Ron!" I said, thinking of the cynic I'd met last night.
I was certain he'd never live up to this writer, no matter where his line of work fell. He'd do well to meet the likes of Billy Weston, who proved that romanticism still exists. Someday, I thought. Someday.
