L
I couldn't stand out here and listen to them. She was leaving me. I couldn't just let her go alone. Anything could happen to her. I turned and went inside and up to my room.
The smell of Jennie hit me as I reached the top step, and I had to stop and grit my teeth through the pain. Just two hours ago, I had lain in that bed and held her in my arms.
I walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the pillow she'd been sleeping on and held it to my face. God, it smelled just like her. A sob broke free, and I fought to keep it back, but I couldn't. I had lost her. My Jennie. I had lost my Jennie.
No. No. I wasn't accepting that.
I stood up and laid the pillow back down reverently. I was going after her. I needed some clothes and my wallet. I was going to get her. She needed me. She didn't want me right now, but she would after the shock wore off. I could hold her and ease her pain. I would hold her while she cried. Then I would spend my life making things right. Making her happy. So fucking happy.
I walked back down the stairs with my bag in my hands, while my mother, my sister, and Abe stood in the foyer talking about Jennie and what had happened, I was sure. I wasn't listening to them. I was leaving.
"Where are you going?" my mother asked me.
"She held a gun to my head, Lisa! Do you not care about that? She could have killed me!" Rosé knew where I was going.
I stopped and looked at my mother first. "I'm going to get her." Then I looked at my sister. "You will learn to shut your fucking mouth. You said the wrong thing to the wrong person this time, and you learned a lesson. Next time, think before you spew shit." I jerked the door open.
"What if she won't come back with you? She hates us, Lisa," my mother said, sounding annoyed at the idea of her even coming here.
"If she won't come back with me, then you all will have to move out. I will not live in my house with the people who destroyed her world. Decide where you plan to go, because I don't want you here when I return." I slammed the door behind me.
The eight-hour drive to Summit, Alabama, would have been easier if I hadn't been tailing Jennie and also trying to keep her from seeing me. Hiding a black Range Rover on country roads wasn't easy. I had to let her get out of sight more times than I wanted, but it was the only way to follow her. I had the small town plugged into my GPS, and luckily, Jennie seemed to be taking the same route the GPS suggested.
When I entered the small town, I saw that the Welcome to Summit, Alabama, sign was worn and in need of some new paint, but you could make out what it said well enough. I had let her get a good ten minutes ahead of me, because it was the only way to stay out of her sight. I pulled through the first traffic light. According to Google, this town had only three traffic lights. At the next one, I saw the cemetery sign and turned. The parking lot was empty except for Jennie's truck and another truck. I didn't park where she could see me; I made sure to park down the road a bit.
She had come to see her mother. And her sister. Had my heart ever truly broken for someone else like this? I had hated how Rosé was neglected, but had I ever felt this kind of emotion for her pain? The idea of Jennie dealing with this alone was too much. She had to listen to me.
J
The gravel parking lot was empty. The last time I'd been here most of the town had come to pay their last respects to my mom. Today the afternoon sun was fading away and the shadows were the only company I had.
Stepping out of my truck, I swallowed the lump that had risen in my throat. Being here again. Knowing she was here but she wasn't. I walked down the path to her grave wondering if anyone had come to see her while I'd been gone. She had friends. Surely someone had stopped by with fresh flowers. My eyes stung. I didn't like thinking she'd been left alone for weeks. I was glad that I'd had them bury her beside Yeri. It had made the walking away easier.
The fresh patch of dirt was now covered in grass. Mr. Murphy had told me he would cover it in sod for free. I hadn't been able to pay any extra. Seeing the green grass made me feel like she was properly covered as silly as that sounded. Her grave looked just like Yeri's now. The headstone wasn't as fancy as my sister's. It was a simple; it had been all I could afford. I'd spent hours trying to decide exactly what I wanted it to say.
Rebecca Jane Hanson
April 19, 1975 - June 2, 2020
The love she left behind will be the reason dreams are reached. She was the rock in a world that was crumbling. Her strength will remain. It's in our hearts.
The family that loved me was no longer here. Standing here looking at their graves it rang home how alone I really was. I didn't have family anymore. I would never acknowledge my father's existence after this day.
"I didn't expect you back so soon." I'd heard the gravel crunch behind me and I'd known without turning around who it was. I didn't look at him. I wasn't ready yet. He'd see through me. Kai had been my friend since kindergarten. The year we'd become something more it was just expected. I'd loved him for years.
"My life is here," I replied simply.
"I tried to argue that point a few weeks ago." The touch of humor in his voice didn't go unnoticed. He liked being right. He always had.
"I thought I needed my father's help. I didn't."
The gravel crunched a little more as he stepped up beside me. "He still an ass?"
I only nodded. I wasn't ready to tell Kai just what an ass my father was. I couldn't voice that right now. Saying it out loud made it real somehow. I wanted to believe it was a dream.
"You not like his new family?" Kai asked. He wouldn't let up. He would ask me questions until I broke down and told him everything.
"How did you know I was home?" I asked, changing the subject. It would only sidetrack him for a moment but I didn't intend to stand around long.
"You didn't really expect to drive your truck through town and it not become the number one source of headline news within five minutes? You know this place better than that, J."
J.
He'd called me J since we were five. He had called Yeri, Ree. Nicknames. Memories. It was safe. This town was safe.
"Have I even been here five minutes?" I asked still studying the grave in front of me. My mother's name etched in stone.
"Naw, probably not. I was sitting outside the grocery store waiting on Krystal to get off work," he trailed off. He was seeing Krystal again. Not surprising. She seemed to be the one he couldn't get out of his system.
I took a deep breath then finally turned my head and looked into his blue eyes. Emotion battled past the numbness I was hugging close to me like a cloak. This was home. This was safe. This was all what I knew.
"I'm staying," I told him.
A grin tugged at his lips and he nodded. "I'm glad. You've been missed. This is where you belong, J."
A few weeks ago I'd thought with momma gone I didn't fit in anywhere. Maybe I had been wrong. My past was here.
"I don't want to talk about Abe," I told him and shifted my gaze back to my mother's grave.
"Done. I'll never bring him up again."
I didn't have to say anything else. I closed my eyes and prayed silently that my mom and sister were together and happy. Kai didn't move. We stood there without speaking as the sun set.
When the darkness had finally settled over the cemetery, Kai slipped his hand into mine. "Come on, J. Let's go find you somewhere to stay."
I let him lead me back down the path and to my truck. "Will you let me take you to Granny's? She has a guest bedroom and she'd love to have you stay there. She's all alone in that house. She might even call me less if she has some company."
Granny Q was Kai's mother's mother. She'd been my Sunday school teacher all during elementary school. She had also sent us meals once a week when my mom got too sick.
"I have some money. I was going to get a motel. I don't want to impose on her."
Kai let out a hard laugh, "If she finds out you're in a hotel room she'll show up at the door raising hell. You'll be in her house when she's done with you. It's easier just to go to her house now instead of causing a scene. Besides, J there is one motel in this town. You and I both know how many date nights have ended up at that place. Major yuck factor."
He was right.
"You don't have to take me. I'll go see her myself. You have Krystal waiting on you," I reminded him.
He rolled his eyes. "Don't go there, J. You know better. Snap of your fingers, babe. Just a snap of your fingers. That's all it would take."
He'd been telling me that for years. It was a joke now. At least to me it was. My heart wasn't there. Silver eyes flashed in my mind and the pain broke through the numbness. I knew where my heart was and I wasn't sure I'd ever see it again. Not if I was going to survive.
Granny Q wouldn't let me sit quietly. She wouldn't let me settle. Tonight I needed peace. Solitude.
"Kai. I need this night alone. I need to think. I need to process. Tonight I need to stay at the motel. Please understand and help Granny understand. Just for tonight."
Kai looked out over my head with a frustrated scowl. I knew he wanted to ask questions but he was being careful. "J, I hate this. I know you're hurting. I can see it all over your face. I've watched you hurt for so many years. It is slowly eating me up. Talk to me, J. You need to talk to someone."
He was right. I did need to talk to someone but right now I needed to worry about dealing internally. I'd tell him about Rosemary Beach eventually. I'd have to tell someone. Kai was the closest friend I had here.
"Give me some time," I said, looking up at him.
"Time," he nodded. "I've been giving you time for three years. I don't see how a little more can hurt."
I opened the truck door and climbed inside. Tomorrow I'd be ready to face the truth. The facts. I could make it… tomorrow.
"Do you have a phone? I called your old number the day after you drove off and left me here and it said it was disconnected."
Lisa. Her face when she'd begged me to keep the phone she'd lied about flashed in my mind. The pain pressed through a little more.
I shook my head. "No. I don't have one."
Kai's scowl deepened. "Dangit, J. You shouldn't be without a phone."
"I got a gun," I reminded him.
"You still need a phone. I doubt you've ever pulled that thing out on anyone in your life."
That was where he was wrong. I shrugged.
"Get one tomorrow," he ordered. I nodded although I didn't intend to get one then closed the truck door behind me.
I pulled back out onto the two-lane street. I drove the half mile up to the first traffic light and turned right. The motel was the second building on the left. I had never stayed here before. I had friends who had come here after prom but that was all a part of high school I only heard about in the hallways.
Paying for the night was easy enough. The girl working the desk looked familiar but she was younger than me. Probably still in high school. I got my key and headed back outside.
The shiny black Range Rover that was parked beside my truck looked so out of place here. The heart I'd thought was numb slammed hard against my chest in one painful thud as my eyes connected with Lisa's. She was standing in front of the Range Rover with her hands in her pockets watching me.
I didn't expect to see her again. At least not this soon. I'd made it clear how I felt. How had she known to get here? I'd never told her the name of my hometown. Had my father? Did they not understand I wanted to be left alone?
L
When I saw her blue truck move, I waited until I was sure it had pulled back onto the road before following at a safe distance. She turned right at the first traffic light and then parked at a motel. I was sure it was the only motel for miles and miles. As much as I hated the idea of her staying here, I was glad I wouldn't have to do this at some stranger's house. We had privacy here.
While she was inside getting a room, I parked my car and got out and waited. I wasn't sure what I was going to say or if I was just going to beg. But I had to do something. Jennie stepped back out of the office, and her eyes locked with mine. Her step faltered, and then she sighed. She hadn't expected me to follow her. Again, did she not understand how fucking crazy I was about her?
A car door slammed just as she started walking toward me, and she turned her head and frowned at the guy who had just climbed out of the truck, the same one I'd just seen at the cemetery. I knew without an introduction that the guy was Kai. The possessive way he watched her told me that he'd once had a claim on her. He just needed to know that the claim was no longer valid.
"I'm hoping like hell you know this girl, 'cause she followed you here from the cemetery. I noticed her on the side of the road watching us a ways back, but I didn't say anything," Kai said as he sauntered over to stand in front of Jennie.
"I know her," Jennie said without pause.
"She the reason you came running home?" Kai asked.
"No," she said, then looked back at me. "Why are you here?" she asked me, without coming any closer.
"You're here," I replied simply.
"I can't do this, Lisa."
Yes, she could. I had to get her to see that. I took a step toward her. "Talk to me. Please, Jennie. There is so much I need to explain."
She shook her head and backed up. "No. I can't."
I wanted to bash in Kai's head. "Could you give us a minute?" I asked him.
He crossed his arms over his chest and stepped completely in front of her. "I don't think so. It doesn't seem like she wants to talk to you. Can't say I'm gonna make her. And neither are you."
I had started to move toward him when Jennie moved out from behind him. "It's OK, Kai. This is my stepsister, Lisa Manoban. She already knows who you are. She wants to talk. So we are going to talk. You can leave. I'll be fine," she said over her shoulder, before unlocking room 4A.
She had just called me her stepsister. What the fuck?
"Stepsister? Wait . . . Lisa Manoban? As in Dean Manoban's only child? Shit, J, you're related to a rock celebrity," Kai said, his mouth going slack as he stared at me.
Just what I needed, a big enough Slacker Demon fan to know Dean's daughter's name.
"Go, Kai," she said sternly, then stepped inside the room
