A/N: This is an old story being reposted. This story was written for AllTrekkedUp, and based off of a meme I'd found online about Spock and Kirk looking at a piece of the horta and then the caption says: But I ordered pepperoni. (because it looked like a sausage pizza.) Anyway I hope you enjoy this re-post. I'm not looking for any criticism. However if you see anything that really stands out that is in need of fixing lemme know. Otherwise, this was written purely for fun. :)
The Captain's Pizza
Captain James T. Kirk sat down in the grass and leaned up against a tree. He took in a deep breath of fresh air then let it out with a smile. This was a nice, peaceful planet. It was full of grassy hills and shady trees, lakes that sparkled in the sunlight. Far off from where he currently sat was a little town. That was where most the crew was hanging out right now. Jim took this opportunity to go "hide" in the shade of a tree and relax with a good book.
Off in the distance, Doctor McCoy was taking a walk with a few crewmen. Jim kept glancing up at them but made it look as if he was not looking at them. When Bones looked over and saw the captain, he smiled. "Jim!" he called, a smile spreading across his face. He waved and started over that way.
Jim pretended to be deep into his book. It was not that he did not want to talk to Bones (for really he did), but that he was doing this solely for the fun of messing with the good doctor.
Bones continued to come over, occasionally calling Jim's name. Finally he stopped in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Jim," he said, "I've been calling your name, trying to get your attention for a few minutes now. Are you purposely ignoring me, or do you need your hearing checked?"
"Huh?" Jim asked finally looking up. He kept a blank expression with a slight hint of confusion in his face and pretended as though he really did not hear a word.
Bones looked annoyed. "I am trying to be nice and give you company-" he began to say.
"Bones, I can't enjoy a good book with you hovering over me."
Bones sat down next to his captain, his friend. "Jim, you all right? All the crew members are down enjoying themselves in the town."
"If the whole crew were there like you say, then you would not be sitting beside me right now, Bones," Jim said, a slight smile creeping across his face.
"Damn it, Jim! You know what I'm saying!" Bones snapped. Why did the blonde man always have to be so difficult?
Jim nodded and set his book aside. "All right, Bones..." Jim paused and looked at the doctor. "Why do you want me to go to town so bad?" he asked, curiosity lacing his voice.
Bones smiled slightly and scratched the back of his head. "No reason, really."
"Ah, but you must know something I don't if you are still here, trying to convince me to go."
Bones raised an eyebrow. 'You really want me to say something, don't you, Jim?' he thought. Then forced a smile. "It is a pretty lively little town."
Jim nodded. "I'll see it later," he stated, turning his attention back to his book. He truly was not really reading. In fact, he was just skimming through words on the page. He just wanted to bother Bones more for the following two reasons: picking on the doctor was too easy, and it was actually a lot of fun.
Bones sighed, "Can't get you to do anything, can I?" he grumbled.
"No, Bones, I guess not," Jim commented, smiling up at his fellow with a twinkle in his eyes. He looked up slightly, his eyes meeting the same gaze with the now grumpy doctor.
"Stick-in-the-mud," Bones mumbled getting up. "You might as well join Spock; he's just as annoying as you are."
"Is Spock down here?" Jim asked, setting the book down.
"Last I knew he was still on the Enterprise, probably meditating or something irritating like that." Bones didn't understand why Jim and Spock both did some of the most boring things when the crew was in shore leave.
'Sure,' he thought, 'reading can be enjoyable...but when you have time to hang out with a bunch of beautiful women in a nice little town, or you have time to go for a nice peaceful walk with friends and get in some good laughs, reading just seems dull then.'
Jim started to get up. He heard the doctor ask, "You coming to the town?" Jim shook his head in response. "Well, then where are you-" Bones started. He didn't finish his question when he saw Jim pull out his communicator. "Oh, Jim...You're going to go bother that pointy-eared hobgoblin," he said in disbelief.
"Why not?"
Bones sighed and left him there, muttering things under his breath.
Jim beamed up to the ship. He then went on his way to see Spock. The "pointy-eared hobgoblin" in question was in the lab running tests and doing experiments. This was because he was either trying to find something new or create something, or because this was his version of fun. Just seeing a lab brought yawns to Jim's mouth. It certainly was not his idea of fun.
"Mister Spock, when you're finished with...whatever...that is," Jim said, motioning to his experiment, "let me know and we can...Uh..." He paused and scratched the back of his neck.
Spock was looking at him like he had said some very odd things. He had a black eyebrow raised in curiosity as he waited for the rest of Jim's sentence...if, indeed, it was ever going to come
Spock made Jim uncomfortable with just that one action. He felt like an idiot. He was tired and not thinking straight. Basically, on a short vacation such as this, he should have been off relaxing, maybe even getting more sleep, but-no!- he chose to go bother Spock at a moment when Spock was already content and probably should have left already. Jim, for once, had not even come up with a plan for his actions! Now he looked like an idiot. Spock was probably laughing at him internally.
'Vulcans don't laugh, though...That would show too much of a happy emotion. Why would he laugh at me internally?' Jim thought then shook his head. 'I need sleep...'
"Yes, Jim?" Spock asked. This broke Jim out of his thoughts. After pondering it, though, Jim thought that Spock had said that at just the right moment. To him, it sounded like Spock was agreeing that he needed sleep. But how would the Vulcan have known what he was thinking?...
Spock was growing slightly concerned at this sudden silence.
"Oh... Uh, let me know when you are finished..." Jim said finally.
"Yes. You have said that already. May I inquire as to what we will be doing?" Spock asked.
"Don't worry it won't be anything bad," Jim said, yawning.
"I was not worried, Captain," Spock replied with a raised eyebrow. He could sense something was up. Because of this, he decided to leave the lab earlier than he had planned on. His purpose in this was to check on his captain, his best friend.
oOoOo
Jim had just flopped down in bed. Had he been this tired all along? How could he have not noticed? Was it because he had been sitting under a shade tree being "lazy" for once? If so, with his getting up, the tiredness from not sleeping much in almost five days must have hit him.
'Whatever it is,' he sighed, 'it's annoying. There is a difference between being tired and being just plain exhausted. When you're tired, you're...well, tired. When you're exhausted, you drag your feet, possibly see and/or hear things, say weird things/are unable to talk, are sometimes unaware of how tired you are till you stand up or lie down, and are possibly more likely to either mess with people or be grumpy,' he mused. While Jim wasn't grumpy yet, he could identify with everything else. So he rolled over and had just started to fall asleep when another idea hit him. He was hungry! He'd barely eaten in four, almost five days.
"Maybe I can convince Spock to join me as I go to town and get pizza. Maybe we'll see Bones, too," he mumbled into his pillow. Before he could doze off into dreamland, he heard a voice outside his door.
"Captain-" Spock started to say.
Jim reluctantly got out of bed and dramatically dragged his feet. He looked miserable until he got to the door. He put on quite the show for drama. Now, if only he had a good audience.
"Yes, Mister Spock?" he asked.
"You wished to see me when I was finished." Spock wouldn't admit it, but he felt like he should have stayed longer in the lab now that he knew Jim was finally trying to get sleep.
"Oh...Yes," Jim said, going farther back into his room to grab a few things, one of them being a shirt. (He had taken it off before lying down to sleep.) He noticed that Spock just waited in the doorway. "You can come in, Spock," Jim said, forcing a small smile.
Spock nodded and did so.
"Are you up for a game of chess?" Jim asked.
"Of course," Spock replied.
oOoOo
So Jim and Spock played chess for a while. However, all the thinking was making Jim even sleepier. Spock had caught him falling asleep multiple times already. That combined with the fact that he was making even more illogical moves than he normally would have, made it obvious to Spock that Jim was pretty well out of it.
"S-S-Spock... I...think you might... actually win this time," Jim said tiredly. He followed this statement with a yawn.
"Actually, Captain, the logical decision here is to put this game on hold until tomorrow when you are well-rested."
"Well-rested?" Jim waved him off. "I'm perfectly capable of finishing this game of chess...I'm not even tired, Spock..."
"Captain, you've fallen asleep three times per move. That would make a total of-"
"No, no, I get your point, Spock...Maybe I am tired. So what?" he replied. "It's not going to hurt the game any..." he said yawning.
"Actually, quite the opposite. I do not wish to win under such circumstances. I would prefer you be fully aware of each move you make and of any consequences of those moves," Spock replied crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back. He was being stubborn about this.
Jim frowned. He started to fall asleep again but pretended he did not feel tired.
"Captain..."
"S-S-Spock...we...should...go...to the town...and..." Jim got up while talking sleepily. As a result of his exhaustion, he started to list to the side.
"Jim!" Spock cried and caught him before he completely collapsed. He carried him to the bed and laid him down. "Rest..." he said. He did not want to stress the fact he had actually begun to grow worried about how tired Jim was, his lack of sleep, and his lack of eating.
"We should...order...a p-p-p-pizza..." he finished mumbling into his pillow. The rest of his words were too quiet, slurred, and muffled by the pillow for Spock to understand. Logically, though, he assumed Jim was telling him the kind of pizza he wanted.
He knelt down beside the bed. "Can you repeat that last part, please, Captain?" he asked.
"P-p-p-p-pepperoni," Jim said.
Spock nodded. He left to beam down to the planet, to the town. He was going to find Dr. McCoy, and have him help get this pepperoni pizza.
When he beamed down, the first person he saw was Sulu, and Sulu was running off with a gaggle of random girls. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing to Sulu. He figured that, if Sulu planned to enjoy his shore leave in such a way, the Vulcan ought not disturb it. He walked along a narrow dirt path until finally coming across a pizza parlor. He could even hear Dr. McCoy's laughter ringing out from inside the building. Spock entered.
Bones turned and was surprised to see him. "Spock! I'm surprised to see you here. Where's Jim?"
"He is sleeping," Spock replied.
Bones was about to say something when Spock started to talk again. "He has not slept or eaten in five days-"
Bones's eyes widened. "Now, Spock, that isn't true. If it were, I would know it. I'm the doctor! And...and Jim told me he ate something," Bones said.
"But did he actually eat or did he just say that he did in order to make you not ask him about it anymore?" Spock pointed out.
Bones was silent for a while until finally he said. "Spock, I...don't actually know..."
The Vulcan's voice was steady. "I have been with the captain for the past five days. I did not see him once stop to eat like he said he did. He did not sleep, either."
"There was so much going on during the past five days that I barely had a chance to see Jim. I know he gets stressed out during some of the missions. Some of them are...well, stressful...and that group of aliens we were transporting the other day was quite a handful. I should've checked in on him more," Bones said.
Spock didn't pay much attention to Bones' statement. He knew Bones was just rambling and getting upset with himself over nothing. "Dr. McCoy, the captain did say he wanted a pepperoni pizza before he fell asleep."
"So that's why you're here!" Bones said suddenly. "You are trying to do something nice for Jim," he added with a smile.
Spock kept an expressionless face.
"I don't know why you're sitting here, though. Go order the pizza." Bones smiled.
Spock did not hesitate to do so. He went to the counter and ordered a pepperoni pizza, waited fifteen minutes for it, and then watched as the pizza man cut it and put in a nice, little box. Spock paid for and picked up what he had ordered. He did not check to see how many slices of pepperoni were on it, like some people would do. He did not even do a quick check to make sure it was actually pepperoni. He just trusted it the pizza man to get it right because that was what he had ordered. He saw no logical reason for them to mess up a simple order.
"What now, Spock? Are you going to hang out and enjoy the town like the rest of us...or-'
Spock cut Bones off before he finished. "I need to get this pizza to Jim before it is cold."
Bones nodded in agreement with with that. After all, he thought, who wants cold pizza? He told Spock that he would join them in a little while. In the meantime, he would finish his coffee and conversation with the other people here at the pizza parlor.
Spock left and beamed back to the Enterprise then went to Jim's room. Jim was comfortably laying on his stomach with his face half-smushed against a pillow, fast asleep. Spock came in and set the pizza on the desk and was about to leave when he heard a very quiet. "S-S-Spock? Is that you?" coming from over at the bed.
He turned to see Jim waking up. Apparently, he had smelled the pizza and heard Spock come in.
"Yes, Captain," he said.
"It's Jim... We're not on duty right now. There's no need to be formal... Just call me Jim, please."
Spock nodded.
Jim yawned and stretched and sat up. "Is that...pizza?"
"Yes, Ca-" Spock stopped himself. "Jim. You said you would like a pepperoni pizza," he reminded.
"Ah, yes...I meant later...but now is fine, too. I'm still hungry," he said, forcing a small smile. He got up and headed over towards the desk. He still had his shirt on, for he had never had a chance to take it off when Spock put him back in bed. Jim slowly opened the box and made a face.
"Something wrong, Jim?"
"I thought you said you ordered pepperoni?"
"But I did order pepperoni," Spock said in defense. He opened the box and saw a sausage pizza.
"We got sausage...but we ordered pepperoni...Do you think-" Jim started to say.
"It would be logical to assume they fouled up the order and handed me the wrong pizza," Spock said. He wanted to correct Jim in what he had just said. Jim had stated, "We ordered pepperoni," when, in reality, Spock had been the one to order it. However, when the Vulcan thought about it, he remembered that Jim had been the one to place the order to Spock. It was only then that he had ordered the pizza. He was going to let that sentence slide.
"Well, I guess we'll have to settle for this then." Jim sounded disappointed.
"I will get plates," Spock said and left the room. As soon as he left, he pulled out his communicator. "Spock to Dr. McCoy," he said quietly.
"McCoy here. What's going on, Spock? Jim like his pizza?" Bones queried.
"Not quite. We were given a sausage instead of pepperoni," Spock replied.
"Oh...and Jim doesn't like sausage?" Bones almost laughed. "Picky eater," he mumbled.
"It is not that he does not like sausage. The fact is he was looking forward to pepperoni and was given something other than that. He is not exactly...happy," Spock explained.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it? I can't change Jim's mood with the snap of a finger. I'm a doctor, not a magician, Spock," Bones said.
"Order another pepperoni pizza, make sure it is, in fact, pepperoni. Then-"
"I see where this is going. I'll be there soon, Spock..." Bones said with a smile.
oOoOo
Spock returned with plates to see Jim had taken a fork and moved pieces of sausage off of slices of pizza and made one entire half just cheese pizza.
Spock raised an eyebrow.
Jim took a plate and thanked Spock. "This half is yours, it's just cheese," he explained.
Spock almost smiled. "Thank you," he said.
Then Bones walked in. "Special delivery! Did someone want pepperoni pizza?" He set down a box and opened it to reveal an actual pepperoni pizza.
Jim took that pizza right away. "Thanks, Bones," he said. On his face was a huge smile.
"It's my pleasure," the doctor replied.
Spock and Bones stayed to hang out with the captain. Bones found that he enjoyed this even more than being down in the town. Jim also enjoyed this, being with both of his best friends...and not having anything to do but eat pizza. It was the best!
~End
