L
It had been three weeks, four days and twelve hours since I'd seen her. Since she'd torn my heart out. If I had been drinking, I'd blame it on the alcohol. It had to be an illusion, a desperate one. But I hadn't been drinking. Not a drop. There was no mistaking Jennie. It was her. She was actually here. Jennie was back in Rosemary. She was at my house.
I'd spent five hours last night driving all over the damn place searching for Jisoo hoping she'd lead me to Jennie. But I hadn't found either of them. Coming home and admitting defeat had been painful. I had convinced myself Jisoo was still in Sumit with Jennie. That maybe the text from her had been a drunken text and nothing more.
I soaked in the sight of her. She was thinner and I didn't like it. Was she not eating? Had she been sick?
"Hello, Lisa," she said, breaking the silence. The sound of her voice almost sent me to my knees. God, I'd missed her voice.
"Jennie," I managed to say, terrified that I'd scare her away just by speaking.
She reached up and wrapped a strand of her hair around her finger and tugged on it. She was nervous. I didn't like that I was making her nervous. But what could I do to make this easier? "Can we talk?" she asked softly.
"Yeah." I stepped back to let her in. "Come inside."
She paused and glanced past me toward the house. The fear and pain flashing in her eyes had me silently cursing myself. She'd been hurt here. Her world had been destroyed in my house. Dammit. I didn't want her to feel this way about my house. Not when there were good memories here too.
"Are you alone?" she asked. Her eyes shifted back to me.
She didn't want to see my mom or her dad. I got it now. It wasn't the house. "I forced them to leave the day you left," I replied, watching her carefully.
Her eyes went wide. Why did this surprise her? Didn't she get it? She came first. I'd told her as much in that hotel room. "Oh. I didn't know…" she trailed off. We both knew she didn't know because she'd cut me from her life.
"It's just me. Except for V's occasional visits, it's always just me." She needed to know I hadn't moved on. I wasn't moving on.
Jennie walked into the house and I clenched my hands into fists as her familiar sweet scent followed her. So many nights I'd sat here and dreamed of seeing her walk back into my life. My world.
"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked, thinking how I really wanted to beg her to talk to me. To stay with me. To forgive me.
Jennie shook her head and turned around to look at me. "No. I'm good. I… I just… I was in town and well…" She scrunched her nose and I fought the urge to reach over and touch her face. "Did you hit Kai?"
Kai. Shit. She knew about Kai. Was she here to talk about him? "He asked things he shouldn't have. Said things he shouldn't have," I replied through my clenched teeth.
Jennie sighed. "I can only imagine," she mumbled and shook her head. "I'm sorry he came here. He doesn't think things through. He just acts on impulse." She wasn't defending him. She was apologizing for him. That wasn't her job. The stupid fucker wasn't her responsibility or her fault.
"Don't apologize for him, Jennie. It makes me want to hunt his ass down," I growled, unable to control my reaction.
"It's my fault he was here, Lisa. That's why I'm apologizing. I upset him and he assumed it was all because of you so he came running here before talking things out with me."
Talking things out with her? What the fuck did Kai need to talk out with her? "He needs to back off. If he so much as—"
"Lisa. Calm down. We are old friends. Nothing more. I told him some things I've needed to say for a long time. He didn't like it. I was cruel but I needed to say them. I was tired of protecting his feelings. He pushed me too far. That's all it was."
I took a deep breath but the pounding in my head had gotten louder.
"Did you come to see him?" I needed to know if that was why she was here. If this had nothing to do with me my heart needed to deal with it.
Jennie walked over toward the steps instead of going into the living room. I noticed it. I understood. She might have come in my house but she couldn't walk in there and face things. Not yet. Maybe never. "He may have been my excuse to get into the car with Jisoo," she paused and let out a sigh, "but he was gone when I got here. I stayed for other reasons. I… I need to talk to you."
She'd come here to talk to me. Had it been enough time? I used every ounce of will power I possessed to stand still and not go pull her into my arms. I didn't care what she had to say. The fact she wanted to see me was enough. "I'm glad you came," I said simply.
The small frown was back and Jennie wouldn't look directly at me. "Things are still the same. I haven't been able to let it go. I'll never be able to trust you. Even… even if I want to. I can't."
What the fuck did that mean? The pounding in my ears grew stronger.
"I'm leaving Sumit. I can't stay there. I've got to make it on my own."
What? "Are you moving in with Jisoo?" I asked, wondering if I was still asleep and this was a dream.
"No. I wasn't going to. But this morning I talked with Jisoo and I thought maybe if I saw you and talked to you and faced… this I'd be able to stay with her for a while. It wouldn't be permanent; I'll leave in a couple months. Just until I have time to decide where I am going to go next."
She was still planning on leaving. I needed to change that. I had a couple of months if she stayed here. For the first time since she'd told me to leave the hotel room I had hope. "I think that's smart. No reason to make a rash decision when you have an option right here." She could stay in my house for free. In my bed. With me. But I couldn't offer that. She'd never agree.
J
"I'll be working at the club. We'll… uh… see each other on occasion. I'd get a job somewhere else but I need the money the club pays." I was explaining this to myself as much as I was explaining it to Lisa. I hadn't been sure exactly what I was going to say when I showed up here. I just knew I had to face her. At first Jisoo had begged me to tell her about the pregnancy. However, after she'd heard exactly what happened with my father and Rosé and her mother that day she hadn't been as Team Lisa as before. She agreed that there was no need to tell her anything right away.
Working up enough nerve to drive back to this house after the way I'd left only three and a half weeks ago had been hard. The hope that my heart wouldn't react when I saw Lisa's face had been futile. My chest had constricted so badly it had been a wonder I could breathe. Much less speak. I was pregnant with her baby… our baby. But the lies. The deceit. Who she was. All of that kept me from saying the words that she deserved to hear. I couldn't. It was wrong. I was being selfish. I knew it. That didn't change anything. The baby I was carrying might never know her. I couldn't let the way I felt about her cloud my decisions for my future… or my baby's future. My father, her mother and her sister would never be a part of my baby's life. I wouldn't allow it. I couldn't.
"Of course. Yeah, working at the club is good money." She stopped and ran a hand through her hair. "Jennie, nothing has changed. Not for me. You don't need my permission. This is exactly what I want. Having you here again. Seeing your face. God, baby, I can't do this. I can't pretend I'm not fucking thrilled you're standing in my house right now."
I couldn't look at her. Not now. I hadn't been expecting her to say any of those things. The stilted nervous conversation was more of what I expected. It was what I wanted. My heart couldn't take anything else. "I need to go, Lisa. I can't, I just wanted to make sure you were good with me being in town. I'll keep my distance."
Lisa moved so fast I didn't realize it until she was standing between me and the door. "I'm sorry. I was trying to be cool. I was trying to be careful but I cracked. I'll do better. I promise. Go to Jisoo's. Forget what I just said. I'll be good. I promise. Just… just don't leave. Please."
What did I say to that? She'd managed to make me want to comfort her. To apologize to her. She was lethal to my emotions and good sense. Distance. We needed distance. I nodded and stepped around her. "I'll… uh… probably see you around." I managed to croak out before opening the door and stepping outside the house.
I didn't look back but I knew she was watching me leave. It was the only reason I didn't break out into a run. Space… we needed space. And I needed to cry.
It was as if he had known I was coming. I'd already decided to go straight to the dining room and look for Jimin. I figured Jimin would know where to find Mino. But Mino had been waiting on me at the door when I opened the back entrance to the clubhouse.
"And she returns. Honestly didn't think you would," Mino drawled as the door closed behind me.
"For a little while maybe," I replied.
Mino winked at me then nodded his head toward the hall that led down to his office. "Let's go talk."
"Okay," I said as I followed him.
"Jisoo's already called me twice today. Wanting to know if I'd seen you yet. Making sure you got your job back," Mino said as he opened his office door and held it so that I could walk inside. "What I didn't expect though was the call I just received about ten minutes ago. It surprised me. From the way you bolted out of here three weeks ago and left Lisa all high and dry, I didn't expect her to call me on your behalf. Not that she needed to, mind you. I'd already agreed that you could have your job back."
I stopped and looked back at him. Had I just heard him correctly? "Lisa?" I asked, almost afraid I'd hallucinated that comment.
Mino closed his door and walked over to stand in front of his desk. He leaned back against the expensive looking shiny wood and crossed his arms over his chest. The smile he'd had when I arrived was gone. He looked more concerned now. "Yes, Lisa. I know that the truth came out. Bobby has told me some of it. What he knows at least. But then I already knew who you were. Or who Lisa and Rosé thought you were. I warned you she'd choose her sister. She was already choosing her when I gave you that warning. Do you really want to come back to all of this? Is Alabama that bad?"
No. Alabama wasn't that bad. Being a single pregnant nineteen year old with no family was bad though. That however was not something I was going to share with him. "Coming back here isn't exactly easy. Seeing… them, won't be easy either. But I need to figure out what I'm going to do. Where I'm going to go. There is nothing left for me in Alabama. I can't stay there and pretend that there is. It's time I found a new life. And Jisoo is the only friend I have. My options for places to go are a little limited."
Mino eyebrows shot up. "Ouch. What am I? Here I thought we were friends."
Smiling, I walked over and stood behind the chair across from him. "We are but well… not close friends."
"Not because I didn't try my damnedest."
A small laugh bubbled up and Mino grinned. "That's nice to hear. I missed it."
Maybe coming back wouldn't be so hard.
"You can have your job. It's yours. I've had shit for cart girls and Jimin is still sulking. He doesn't play well with the other servers. He misses you too."
"Thank you," I replied. "I appreciate it. I want to be honest with you though. In four months, I intend to leave. I can't stay here forever. I've…"
"You have a life to get to. Yeah, I heard you. Rosemary isn't where you intend to put down your roots. I got it. For whatever length of time, you got the job."
L
I knocked once before opening the door to Rosé's condo and walking in. Her car was parked outside. I knew she was here. I just wanted to make sure she knew I was here. I'd made the mistake once of not knocking and had seen my little sister straddling a guy's lap. I had wanted to pour bleach in my eyes and brain after that experience.
"Rosé, it's me. We need to talk." I called out then closed the door behind me. I stepped into the living room and the sound of more than one hushed voice and footsteps coming from the master bedroom almost made me turn around and leave. But I wasn't going to. This was more important. Her sleepover guest needed to go on home now anyway. It was after eleven.
Her bedroom door opened and closed. Interesting. Whoever was here was staying. We'd need to step outside on the balcony to talk. I wasn't discussing Jennie in front of anyone else. I probably knew the guy in that room. It would be the only reason she would keep him hidden in there.
"Ever heard of calling before you come over?" Rosé snapped as she walked into the living room dressed in a short silk wrap. She looked more and more like our mother the older she got.
"It's almost lunch, Rosé. You can't keep the man in bed all day," I replied and opened the doors that led out onto the balcony overlooking the gulf. "I need to talk to you and I don't want to do it where your bedroom buddy can hear us."
Rosé rolled her eyes and stepped outside. "I find it odd that I've been trying to get you to talk to me for weeks and now that you want to talk you come barging over like I have no life. At least I call you first." She was starting to sound like our mother too.
"I own this condo, Rosé. I can come in any damn time I want to," I reminded her. She would be leaving here in mid August to head back to her sorority house and her still undecided major. College was a social function for her. She knew I'd pay her bills and tuition. I'd always taken care of everything for her.
"Snarky much. What is this about? I haven't had my coffee yet." She also wasn't afraid of me. I didn't want her to be but it was time she grew up. I wasn't going to let her send Jennie running. In a month, Rosé would be gone. Normally I would be too. Not this year. I'd be keeping my residence at Rosemary. Mother would have to pick another location. She wasn't going to have this house free for the rest of the year.
"Jennie is back," I told her bluntly. I'd had time to see things from another angle. I didn't feel like Rosé was the victim in this any longer. As a child she was but then so was Jennie. Rosé tensed as her eyes flashed with the hate that belonged at her father's feet instead of on Jennie. "Don't say anything. Let me speak first or I'll go escort your sleepover friend from my condo. I hold the power here Rosé. Our mother has nothing. I support you both. I've never asked you for anything. Ever. But right now I'm going to ask… no, I'm going to demand you listen to me and you follow my terms."
Rosé's anger had faded and now the spoiled brat was there looking back at me. She didn't like being told what to do. I couldn't blame my mother for her behavior, not entirely. I did this too. Overcompensation had ruined her.
"I hate her," she seethed.
"I said to listen to me. Don't assume I'm bluffing Rosé. Because this time you've fucked with something I care about. This affects me, so listen and shut the hell up."
Her eyes went round from shock. I was sure I'd never spoken to her that way. I was even a little surprised myself. Hearing the hate in her voice directed at Jennie had set me off.
"Jennie is staying with Jisoo. Mino has given her her job back. She has nothing in Alabama. She has no one. The father the two of you share is worthless. To her he might as well be dead. She's back to find out where she fits and what to do next. She was doing that before but when the truth came out it sent her world crumbling so she ran. It's a fucking miracle she's back here. I want her back here, Rosé. You may not want to hear this but I love her. I will stop at nothing to make sure she's safe. She is secure and no one and I do mean no one, not even my sister, makes her feel unwanted. You leave soon. You can keep your misplaced hate if you want to but one day I hope you grow up enough to realize there is only one person to hate here."
Rosé sank down onto one of the lounge chairs she kept out here to lay out and read books. I loved her too. I'd been protecting her all my life. Telling her this and threatening her was hard but I couldn't let her hurt Jennie any longer. I had to stop this. Jennie would never give me another chance as long as Rosé was tormenting her life.
"So you're choosing her over me," she whispered.
"This isn't a contest Rosé. Stop acting like it is. You've got the dad. She lost him. You won. Now let it go."
Rosé lifted her eyes and tears were clinging to her eyelashes. "She's made you hate me."
Damn fucking drama. Rosé lived a soap opera in her head. "Rosé, listen to me. I love you. You're my little sister. No one can change that. But I am in love with Jennie. It may be a major hitch in your plans to conquer and destroy but baby, it is time you let your daddy issues go. Three years ago he came back. I need you to put this behind you."
"What about family first?" She choked out.
"Don't go there. You and I both know I've put you first all my life. You needed me and I was there. But we are adults now, Rosé."
She wiped the tears that had leaked out of her eyes and stood back up. I could never tell if her tears were real or fake. She could turn them on and off at whim. "Fine. Maybe I'll go back to school early. You don't want me here anyway. You've chosen her."
"I'll always want you around, Rosé. But this time I want you to play nice. Think about someone else for a change. You have a heart. I've seen it. Now it is time to use it."
Rosé's spine stiffened. "If we're done here could you please leave your condo?"
I nodded. "Yeah I'm done," I replied and walked back inside. Without another word I headed out the front door. Time would now tell if I had to follow through on my threats to teach my sister a lesson. I really hoped I didn't.
