They pack the car early in the morning, having a leisurely breakfast in the hotel's restaurant before check out.
Delphine flicks on the radio, hoping to find a song that both of them can tolerate, but as she's getting onto the highway Cosima turns down the volume.
"What? Are you sick of Bryan Adams?"
"As cute as it is watching you belt out 'have you ever really loved a woman' in the car? Kinda." Cosima giggles.
"I can change it." Delphine offers, flicking the radio again. She'll find a way to serenade Cosima with more love songs later. But for now she switches to what sounds like an oldies station. Cosima for her part, shrugs and seems alright with it.
"So how far to Montreal?"
"About two hours. We'll park at the hotel and check in. I… I do not want to drive in Montréal." Delphine tells her seriously.
"So.. public transit?"
When Delphine nods Cosima calms.
"Sounds good. Then we don't need to worry about gas or parking. Apparently Montreal has this amazing club scene." Cosima grins. "We could go dancing."
"We could." Delphine smiles, thinking about dancing with her Cosima, somewhere in public with their hands gripping each other's hips as Cosima sways.
"Or amazing restaurants… some all vegetarian ones too. That could be fun." Cosima continues her trip research on her phone. "I think I want to see the botanical gardens, we could just stroll through, hand in hand. Super chill. Get a nice bite to eat after."
"Absolutely my love." Delphine agrees. She wasn't expecting the prolonged silence. Or the words that come after.
Cosima's voice is very soft when she asks the next question. "Do you feel like I cheated on you?"
"You didn't. We were broken up." Delphine responds automatically. She is well aware of those painful facts. Why they must talk about Shay again she doesn't understand. Why can't they just leave it in the past? Why can't Cosima let her ignore this, that is what she's chosen to do. Push it down, love Cosima anyway.
"But do you feel like I did?" Cosima asks again, pressing in.
"Yes." Delphine responds. "I loved you more than anything and… you went and…" She shakes her head, cutting herself off. She grips the steering wheel harder. It seemed this drive would be less pleasant than she'd hoped.
"OK." Cosima grins briefly. "So you didn't…"
"Didn't what?" Delphine asks, trying to keep her temper well under control. She had one, she just would prefer Cosima see as little of it as possible.
"Have sex with someone else." Cosima tells her bluntly.
Delphine tears up without meaning to. "How could I?"
"I don't know? Needed a release? Wanted someone to hold you? There's lots of reasons you might have." Cosima shrugs out her arms, moving them far too much for the confines of this compact vehicle.
Delphine sighs. "I didn't." She already had the suspicion she had had far fewer lovers than Cosima. It wasn't something they really discussed. And once she'd had Cosima, she'd gotten too much of a taste for love, for passion… she couldn't go back to what she'd had before. It hadn't been worth having in comparison.
"Clearly." Cosima sighs.
The hotel is in Vieux-Montreal, near the old port. Tucked out of the way on a hard to find side street. It takes Delphine two loops around the narrow streets to find the parking garage and once the car is parked she reiterates that she'd rather the car stay put until it was time to leave Montreal.
"How many days here?" Cosima asks.
"I planned on four. Three nights." Delphine leads her by the hand, laying a soft kiss on it, into the well appointed modern lobby. Couches trail one end of the lobby and the desk sits at the other.
"Is there a pool?" Cosima teases, acting very young for a moment. "I want to sneak into it late at night with you and -" Cosima cuts herself off upon receiving a look from the young man staffing the desk. He can probably see right through them, Delphine decides.
They check in and stow their bags.
"What now?"
"Let's walk." Delphine suggests, and they do, Exploring the oldest quartier of the city, the port, down the cobbled streets counting tourist traps and ice cream shops. They find a restaurant not far, and have a late lunch, try to plan their next couple days. Cosima grins at her across the table and mimics her French and it makes her laugh. Sometimes, sometimes their love is so so easy.
That night they do go dancing, but not to a gay club like Delphine had thought Cosima would choose. Instead Cosima had prioritized the music, it was very much like the songs Cosima would listen to or dance to at home. At that though Delphine remembered that they must buy a condo soon. She'd rather rent than own, and having a home of her own with Cosima felt like the perfect next step. Many bodies occupy the dance floor, and the upper level of the club above. The bass pounds and the music, well Delphine would barely call it music, makes Cosima dance in a slow sensuous way she cannot help but be transfixed by. And she is not the only one.
Cosima attracts attention on the dancefloor, from men and women alike, Delphine realizes. She dances too, Cosima never lets her stray far from her hands and they laugh and dance. A few men approach, but she always quickly wraps her arms around Cosima, curling into her body. She won't let someone step between them. The bass is heavy in her ears and she can imagine what Cosima is saying but she cannot truly hear her.
Finally, Cosima gestures having a drink, and they leave the dance floor and go to the upper area of the club, finding an out of the way table. They quickly order a couple drinks. The music is still loud but not as much here, and they lean in, try to talk a little and regain their balance.
A man near the bar keeps glancing over and it starts to make her feel very uncomfortable. Had he been watching them dance the whole time? Had he been observing her and Cosima as if it was some kind of show?
"He's looking at us." Delphine whispers under her breath. At least they can hear each other now.
"Of course he is. Have you seen you?" Cosima grins back at her.
"No, at us…" Delphine wants to squirm. It makes her uncomfortable. The heat of a stranger's gaze directed at them like that. The thought makes anger roil inside her. She was used to men looking, but not like that. Not as if they saw her love for Cosima as something put on for their own amusement.
"Well, we could like have some fun with it." Cosima teases while they wait for their drinks.
Delphine cannot shut her down fast enough. "Non!" Cosima is hers . End of story.
"Not like that." Cosima squeezes gently at her hand. "Eww. Nope. No threeways."
"I am happy we are in agreement." Delphine shoots her a teasing look. "I don't much fancy an interloper, or an observer in our sex life."
"Ladies." The man steps up to the table. "Can I buy you two a drink?"
"Non." Delphine shakes her head. "We are together."
The man moves to sit down in the empty chair between them. "The more the merrier, right? You look like you might want some company. I saw you two dancing and like-"
"Dude, we're on our honeymoon." Cosima interrupts. "We don't really want a man buying us a drink right now. Or...like ever."
"Oh… so you're gay." He nods, looking awkward. "Like... completely gay?"
"Oh Delphine's not gay." Cosima pauses before continuing. "I'm. Just. That. Good." Cosima speaks the words, daring the man staring at them to remark on it.
"I think it's time for me to take my wife home. Goodnight." Delphine tells the man firmly, pulling Cosima to her feet. The last thing she wanted was a man wanting to have sex with both of them. Or thinking there was a chance in hell he could.
"So I'm hearing our marriage is monogamous." Cosima announces when they've made their way back to their hotel room. A quick and slightly tipsy metro ride later, they are back where she wants to be. Alone with Cosima.
"Yes." Delphine nods. "I want it to be."
"No occasional free passes? Not if it's insert-sexy-actor-here? We could go to a sex club. Let a roomful of voyeuristic horndogs watch me make love to you." Cosima teases as she undresses.
"No!" Delphine throws back roughly even though she knows Cosima is joking. "You. Are. Mine."
"So show me… prove it." Cosima has a glint in her eyes and Delphine is all too eager to please.
"I will. I'll have you begging for my tongue inside you." Delphine grins. This she can do. She can drop to her knees, tease Cosima incessantly until her lover is begging for her. She strips off Cosima's dress, Cosima's boots. All of her clothing, before setting in on her own. She wants them both naked. Wants them together in this bed. Wants to show Cosima just how...possessive she is feeling.
"Fuck me with your cock." Cosima begs, once she's naked. Delphine sighs and goes looking for the harness. Maybe this was very much Cosima's thing after all. How often would she be expected to use this thing?
"Maybe later." Delphine throws back. She's located the harness. But makes no movement to put it on.
"Unless you want me to take you with it?" Cosima offers, rolling onto her side, clearly trying to be as inviting as possible. "You could reminisce on what sex with a man is like. Only better because… well it'll be me."
"No man could feel as good as my Cosima. Ever." Delphine assures her lover, clambering naked back on the bed.
Cosima smiles. "Ooh, flattery will get you everywhere Dr. Cormier."
"I'm serious. All I can think of or fantasize of is you. Your body, with my body. Our lovemaking. How many ways can I find to give you pleasure."
"But you don't look at other women." Cosima points out.
"Why would I? I have you!" Delphine shakes her head, wondering how Cosima can doubt anything about this.
"Umm...variety? Normal attraction to people?" Cosima laughs. "Like, it's fairly normal to look. No one is saying anyone gets to touch."
"Cosima," Delphine regards Cosima seriously. "Back when we were at Dyad, do you remember what we did?"
"Umm scienced all day, crazy-scienced all night? Pretty much." Cosima shrugs. She mildly regrets accidentally inventing that euphemism. It's probably gone too far, but Delphine wanting to 'crazy science' at work back then had made her feel like she'd created a monster..or a craven addict.
"I couldn't tell you I loved you yet… so I made love to you. As much as I could. I tried… I tried everything to show you."
"Does that explain your sudden intense interest in cunnilingus?" She's smirking at her, knowing how this should go. How she wants Delphine now.
"My interest in cunnilingus was you. Always you. You called me a 'budding lesbian'. So I would call that a success." Delphine reminds her wife.
"Uhh yeah, because you were always trying to get on me. Or like in me… " Cosima grins at her. "And you were getting so good."
"Getting?"
"Oh god… you mounted that learning curve like a boss, Delphine." Cosima beams at her. "You are a wonderful lover."
"I cannot get enough of you. In me. On me…. Any which way." Delphine groans.
"Do you remember when you pressed us together, sex to sex?"
"Which time?"
"The first time, when you told me it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever done." Cosima leans in for a kiss.
"I wanted to be connected to you." Delphine responds simply. "I wanted any kind of connection. I still want it. Cosima… I want to put my hand inside you."
"Oh god…" Cosima looks at her with what looks like more apprehension than arousal.
"I want it… so badly. To have you." Delphine smiles. "And knowing no one else has…"
"No one else has because only a couple people asked ever and I said no. I think I said hell no once." Cosima twists on the bed. "We can just use your purple cock. It'll be easier."
"I don't really want to use a toy." Delphine offers honestly. "I will for you, if you want. But for me? It's not necessary, it's a separation. It's something between us."
"You feel like using a toy separates us?" Cosima tries to clarify what exactly isn't working for Delphine. "Why?"
"I want to be inside the one I love. It's something I've only felt with you." Delphine leans in to kiss Cosima, to try to soften her words.
"Well technically, you could have been inside a guy too." Cosima gives her a mischievous look. "Just more effort involved."
"But you have a -" Delphine stops trying to decide on a word. Une chatte? Une vulve? Delphine tries to decide how to proceed.
"I have a what, Delphine?" Cosima asks, her voice low. They don't usually have these kinds of conversations but she can tell this may excite Cosima.
"A pussy." Delphine decides finally on a word, and a translation. "And it's hot and wet, it smells amazing… it's difficult to compare. It's so incredibly sexy to me. Ça me rends excitée."
"You like it." Cosima grins at her like the cheshire cat. "I so totally flipped you."
"Flipped?!" Delphine repeats confused.
"Never mind. It's not really a thing. I was your vehicle of discovery, essentially." Cosima offers another phrase that makes her wrinkle her nose.
"You are the love of my life. Mon grand amour." Delphine refuses to let Cosima reduce this to sex, or orientation. It's more. It's always been more.
"But you love it…" Cosima teases, pulling her into kiss. She eagerly returns it until Cosima pulls back. "Tell me how much you love it."
"Cosima, j'ai fait minette pour toi. Plusieurs fois!" Delphine regards her seriously. "I'm not sure what else you want me to say."
"Lick me." Cosima demands, so she does. Moving down Cosima's body without preamble she begins to lick at her sex, arousal increasing by the moment.
Cosima's taste might be her biggest addiction now, unable to stop Delphine pushes in deeper, needing more. Making sure Cosima knows just how much she enjoys it.
"Are you still a craven addict?" Cosima whispers. But she knows the answer already, they both do.
Delphine only moans, then again in response when she feels the muscles in Cosima's thighs tighten. This is everything. Everything she needs.
"I love this." Cosima moans. "I love how you feel. I love how much you enjoy it."
And Delphine does, she teases, working Cosima up to fever pitch, wanting the orgasm to threaten to overtake her. When it does, Cosima cries out loudly, bucking her hips into her face, finally finally, she lets Cosima fall over the edge. Perfect, Delphine thinks, licking her again, savouring the taste. Perfect.
"Now the cock." Cosima demands, laying back boneless on the bed. "Zero lube required. Holy shit."
Delphine pushes herself up off the bed. She makes no attempt to remove Cosima's fluids from her face, merely fetches the harness as requested. She holds up the red dildo first, wondering if that is what Cosima will want now.
"This one?" Delphine asks permission. She won't push the matter if Cosima would prefer the other.
Cosima looks at her nervously. "The purple one."
Delphine sighs and switches them again. She certainly wasn't going to let Cosima take her with the red one, so it was definitely going to go to waste. It might have helped prepare Cosima to take her fist, but maybe she'd be even more jealous that way.
She eases back down on top of her love, in a not totally unfamiliar position, she kisses Cosima deeply knowing this too will excite her, with her free hand she briefly slides two fingers into Cosima testing her. She wants to stay inside, but pulls out and positions the toy.
"Come on… fuck me." Cosima demands softly.
She slides in to the hilt, looking down at Cosima, watching her head tilt back, her breath get faster. This much she can enjoy, Delphine thinks. This much feels the same.
'Holy fuck." Cosima groans. "It still feels kind of big."
"Yes." Delphine answers, putting on a bit of a show. She rocks her hips, careful not to thrust too fast. She lays her weight against Cosima, keeping their bodies pressed together, keeping their lips pressed together and she gently thrusts. Surely this isn't too difficult, surely she can please Cosima like this. She continues her slow, deep movements, hoping that this will be enough. She claims Cosima's mouth, sliding her tongue into play as well as she slowly takes her wife.
"This is so hot." Cosima breaks the kiss only briefly. She looks at Delphine, at her own knee over Delphine's hip as she watches her wife move.
"You are never going to make love with anyone else. Ever again." Delphine tells her firmly, thrusting into her with the toy.
"I won't." Cosima promises.
Delphine insists, but keeps her movements soft. Makes sure her nylon-covered mound brushes Cosima's clit each time she withdraws slightly to thrust back in. "Never Cosima. You are mine. "
"I'm yours. You know I'm yours." Cosima gets more desperate, throwing her arms around her, kissing her more deeply.
Delphine continues, gently gaining speed without roughness, until thrusting becomes difficult, and she knows, she knows she can make Cosima come like this. Smiling, she thrusts her tongue into Cosima's mouth again, toying with Cosima's tongue as she firmly thrusts her hips, almost grinding each time.
Cosima moans readily and she whimpers in response. Still jealous of the toy, Delphine leans in. She kisses Cosima's face but wants to add to this pleasure. Cosima begins to come, her body tense and briefly unyielding.
"Imagine how it could feel if it were really me. Imagine me inside you. My hand… loving you. Filling you. All the way in." Delphine whispers
Cosima moans again and shudders her release. She gives her several moments, pulling out gently before removing the harness and tossing it onto the floor.
"Oh Delphine." Cosima sighs, saying nothing about her demand at the point of climax.
"Je t'aime." Delphine bumps their noses together nuzzling. Her arousal is ridiculous, but Cosima comes to her in minutes, entering her, driving her to the same passionate frenzy as before.
"I was never possessive before you." Delphine shakes her head, embarrassed by herself. The sun has long since gone down, but they remain awake. Neither one wanting to put a stop to their lovemaking.
"You can be as possessive as you want, in bed." Cosima smirks, oddly pleased by all of this. "But not outside of it."
"I want you. Only you. I want you to be mine. You can look at other women, fine by me. But they can never have you." Delphine tells her.
"And if I want to explore the spectrum of bisexuality?" Cosima cannot resist teasing. She's not interested, not really, but it's fun to toy with Delphine.
"I would have to kill any man who touched you." Delphine deadpans, not even a little laughter.
"Oooh. Harsh."
"Oui." Delphine nods, seemingly serious. "Punishment to fit the crime."
"Very Hammurabi's Code of you." Cosima snorts and to this Delphine laughs.
"I do not like to share my lover." Delphine responds.
"But you do like to enjoy me." Cosima teases, leaning in for another kiss.
"Any way I can, mon amour, any way I can." Delphine smiles, hauling her in closer. She wants more, and there's no reason not to take it. No reason she cannot take Cosima as often as humanly possible.
