First Light

A/N - Here's my first attempt at writing fem!Jily. It was quite an experience as I tried to navigate through Jamie's character and include everything I love about her male alter-ego without taking away from her own feminine charm. Exploring new waters is always fun! I hope you guys enjoy!


"I can't believe you brought her here, Prongs."

"Shh, you'll wake her."

"Why don't we take this outside? Let her rest for a bit."

"Yes, thank you, Moony. She looks exhausted."

There was half a beat of silence, and she sensed several sets of stares directed at her unmoving form even through her closed eyelids. She felt strangely exposed, knowing that the owners of the voices—two male, one female—were likely observing her 'exhaustion'.

"I don't care if she was dead on her feet! You should've been more careful. You see a pretty face and suddenly you're thinking out of your arse. This is dangerous," the first voice seethed, sounding thoroughly put out.

"Don't be ridiculous; she's just a girl."

"She's the princess!" a fourth voice squeaked—male again—and she forced herself to not twitch in alarm. Wherever she was, and she hadn't a clue as to where, she was still known, still unable to escape her identity.

"Exactly! Wormtail's right. If a princess is here, soon the entire royal army will follow."

"So, what do you suggest then?" The female voice again—melodic, strong, annoyed. "I should've just left her to die in the middle of the forest? That we drop her back there right this instant?"

Silence fell again, deeper and longer. It seemed no one had an argument to counter the point.

She figured this was not the worst sort of group to have landed herself in. If they were hesitant to throw her to the wolves, they were at least a sight better than her sister. It didn't matter that the wolves in the latter case had been metaphorical.

"Look, I think she's waking," said the fourth voice excitedly, and she realized she'd foolishly let a frown crease her forehead at the thought of Petunia. Even inside her head, her sister caused her trouble.

But there was nothing to it anymore; she pretended to blink her eyes open slowly, a dim glow from lit candles presenting to her a low wooden roof and old walls filled to the crevice with beautiful artwork—plants, ferns, flowers, patterns, and colors of every sort brightening up the space directly across from her.

Her fingers brushed over cool sheets as she sat up, the bed frame whining underneath her in protest. She noticed now that the drawings filled the entire room—save the roof and the floor—and was certain that she'd never seen such talent extracted from the tip of a paintbrush before.

Finally, unable to ignore the curious gazes directed at her any longer, she turned to the occupants in the small room.

There were indeed four of them as she'd guessed—three male and one female. They stood in pairs on either side of the bed. The one with the hardest stare had grey eyes and a mane of silky black hair. He was a handsome creature with a pale face and sharp features. But what really caught her eye was a familiar but rare band of glimmering black that twisted around his right forearm and disappeared under his clothing only to then peek out again over the skin of his neck.

Immediately, she rushed to examine the arms of the others—and sure enough, they each had a band of their own ingrained into their skin.

Her breath hitched in her throat. "You're shapeshifters."

If possible, the air in the room became thicker with tension at those words, uttered in the raspy, unused voice. A soft inhale from her left drew her attention to the female, and she blinked slowly, lips parting as she beheld the most entrancing creature she'd ever laid her eyes upon.

Her hair was a mass of dark, unruly strands that fell over her shoulders in thick waves. She knew Petunia would take to the tresses with a brush in hand as soon as she saw them. This meant that Lily inevitably found it wonderful. Large hazel eyes framed by thick lashes blinked at her, her own awe-struck expression mirrored back. The band on her arm was a blazing golden color.

"Your Highness," said another voice, and she recognized it to belong to the one named 'Moony'. He was thin—weakly, so—but his face was kind and smile gentle as he bowed his head slightly. Blue twirled around his arm elegantly. "We're honored to have you here."

At this, the grey-eyed one snorted in derision.

Blushing, she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, but who are you? And—where am I?"

"I'm Remus Lupin," he smiled at her, unbothered by the bitterness of one of his companions. "This is Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Jamie Potter," he introduced, pointing to each one in turn.

Her eyes stayed on the last person for a second too long before she turned back to Remus. "It's good to meet you. I'm Lily Evans."

A small smile. "We know."

"And—are you—?"

"Yes."

"But your kind—we were told you became extinct decades ago!"

"Evidently not," grumbled Sirius. Then, without preamble, "what are you doing here?"

She bristled at the tone but held the bite in her voice. "Where is here exactly?"

"Just beyond the forests of Gryffindale," answered Jamie, and Lily was glad to have an excuse to turn to her again. A quick smirk appeared on the woman's face—the expression so well-suited it was almost alarming—while her elbow swiftly dug into Sirius's side. "I found you there in the woods. Unconscious."

A brief scuffle ensued between Potter and Black, but she let her mind wander, dragging up the memories that had been eluding her for the past few minutes. It all came back in vivid clarity: Petunia's mandate as the Queen of Gryffindale that she be married to Prince Severus. Her vehement refusal. The banishment from the castle for disgracing the family name when she'd confessed that she couldn't marry a man, any man.

And then the terror that had led her to the forest in the first place—Severus had taken the rejection a little too hard, firmly pressing his belief upon her that she could come to love him if she just tried, and until then his love would be enough for them both, and why wouldn't she just listen? He'd make her see the truth even if it meant making her stay with him until she 'came to her senses'.

That was precisely when she'd fled.

Unfortunately, she'd underestimated the dangers that had lurked within the forest—finally coming to understand why humans were forbidden to enter it. She remembered crossing paths with creatures of all sorts: an Acromantula twice her size that had put the pictures she'd seen of the monster to shame, Kappas lurking in small clearings of weed-riddled swamps, and then she'd finally been chased to exhaustion by a pair of Red Caps who'd wanted to beat her to death.

She didn't remember having collapsed, but if Jamie was to be believed, she was glad to still have breath in her lungs.

"How did you find me?"

Jamie paused in her attempts of trying to pull Sirius into a headlock and turned to her again. Instantly, a practiced grin graced her lips, one hand raising to mess with her hair. "I was strolling around. You seemed like you needed help."

"Strolling?" she raised her brows, unimpressed, "in the forbidden forest?"

"We do that sometimes," Peter said, reminding her that there was a fourth person in the room.

Eyes trained on the brown imprinted on his arm, she shook her head. "I can't believe you're actually—are there more of you?"

"Not that we're aware of," Jamie said. A smirk again, "neither in kind nor in nature."

"Why do you live here? Hidden beyond the woods?"

"Why shouldn't we?" Sirius snapped, "our kind is considered 'unnatural' in your world. We step out there and we'll be hunted immediately."

She looked down, upset. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Never mind that," he waved her off, and she had the feeling that his anger was a fickle thing. "What I'm more interested in is what you're doing here. And whether that spells danger for us."

"I—I don't know," she sighed truthfully, "I was on the run from—someone, and the forest was the only place they wouldn't follow me into. I didn't even know creatures lived on the other side."

"So…what?" Sirius gaped, "you just ran into that bloody forest knowing that you were probably going to end up dead anyway?"

"I didn't have time to think at all if I'm being honest."

The strangest thing happened then. At this careless narration of the most reckless thing she'd ever done in her entire life, Sirius Black grinned at her. Wide and bright and utterly mad. "Brilliant," he said.

She wanted to roll her eyes, but fear was slowly creeping into her chest and burrowing comfortably again. "You don't suppose they can cross the forest to come looking for me here, do you?"

A movement to her left. Jamie had moved closer to her side, hazel eyes boring into her with an inscrutable expression. "Not unless they want to die painfully. But the question is, do you want to go back?"

She exhaled, head pounding. Did she want to go back? Well, the answer to that was fairly simple. But she couldn't see herself moving on with her life on this side of the forest without a care. Everything she'd ever known—everything she ever was—would be lost for all of eternity.

"I need to think."

"Right, of course," A nod from Remus. "You must be exhausted. We'll leave you to rest for a bit."

"You can freshen up if you want," said Jamie, and she noticed how the woman's fingers twitched as if to reach out. "I could lend you something clean to wear."

Warmth bloomed in her chest, eyes falling to the shredded skirts of her dress, the dark stains. "I would be grateful, thank you."

They filed out of the room then, Jamie almost knocking into Sirius in her haste to push past him.

She chuckled at the affronted 'watch it, Prongs!' and rose from the bed, meandering over to a bathroom across the narrow hall after asking for direction from Remus.

It was small, with little room to move around, but it was clean and smelled faintly of some plant—eucalyptus, perhaps. But it was the art—more of that beautiful, breathtaking art—that made her stare at the walls with her mouth agape. There were four animals that were recurrent throughout: A great black dog, a huge furry wolf, a large stag with antlers that touched the sky, and a nimble rat that she often found hidden in places least expected.

She had a fairly good idea of what—or who—they were meant to represent.

Feeling a little overwhelmed with the reality of her situation, she turned to the modest, round mirror above the sink.

Her thick red hair was matted over her head, limp-looking and crusted with dirt. There were smudges all over her face and a cut marred the skin near her right temple. There was no recollection as to how she'd gotten it. She grimaced at her reflection, hating the dryness of her lips, the sallowness of her skin.

Unbidden, the horrifying knowledge entered her mind that that was how she'd looked the first time Jamie had found her.

She groaned, embarrassed at the direction her thoughts were taking.

"Now, now, it's not all that bad, dear."

A scream was wrenched from her mouth—louder and more surprised than she would've expected. But Lily didn't think she could be blamed. Because—because—had the mirror just tried to console her?!

Before she'd had a chance to gather her bearings or figure out whether she'd hallucinated the voice, there was a thundering sound from outside the bathroom. "Princess Lily?!" a panicked voice: Jamie's. "Are you okay?! I'm coming in!"

But she didn't have to unlock the door. It was tugged open so effortlessly that she had to wonder whether she had locked it, to begin with. The thought was pushed from her head, however, when frazzled hazel eyes came into view. She noticed—at a rather inopportune moment—that Jamie stood a good few inches taller than her.

"What's wrong? What happened?" And then light, gentle fingers were upon her person, turning her around, "are you hurt? I heard you scream."

"I—"

"What an overreaction, young lady," the mirror said again, and then proceeded to click its tongue, "screaming at another being is not good manners, you know."

She sucked in a huge breath, wide green eyes swiveling to Jamie again. She reached out and gripped the woman's arm in a deathly hold. "Did you hear that? Did you hear the mirror talking? Am I losing my mind?"

But she didn't get an answer. Instead, Jamie's entire face was swept over with relief, the stiffness of her limbs deflating into casualness under her very fingers. "Oh. The mirror. Bloody hell, you gave me a right scare."

She couldn't help her incredulity. "There is…a talking mirror in your bathroom and I gave you a right scare?"

"I would appreciate not being spoken about as if I'm not able to hear every word," said the mirror disdainfully.

"Not now, Bertha," Jamie scolded, as if there was ever a good time for such a complaint from an inanimate object—or what was supposed to be inanimate, at least. Lily suddenly found a simple green cotton dress being closed around her fingers. She looked up to find that Jamie's stare had softened somewhat, an amused smile on her lips. "Here. Freshen up, and I'll answer your questions honestly."

She could hardly do anything but nod.

Right before Jamie stepped outside and closed the door behind her, she heard Sirius's voice bark down the hall. "What the hell was that noise? Did someone die?!"


When she returned back to the room, decidedly cleaner and refreshed, Jamie was waiting for her, knee jostling violently with nervous energy. She seemed to have been muttering something under her breath, pulling on her chaotic strands and shaking her head quickly as if to clear it.

She all but sprang up from the bed when her eyes landed on Lily. "Hello."

"Hello."

"That dress suits you much better than it ever did me."

She looked down at the fabric, fingers trailing softly over the cloth. It was a little loose around the shoulders and slightly tighter near the hips, but was more comfortable than anything she'd ever owned. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

Jamie shrugged, casually pulling her hair over her left shoulder in an attempt to seem unaffected. But Lily caught the pleased glow that had taken over her face. Hazel met green across the room. "Have you decided if you're staying?"

"I haven't," she replied, "there are things I must know."

"Then sit, and I will give you all the answers that I can."

She moved towards the bed, walking around it so that she was closer to where Jamie stood. Behind the woman, a window revealed the first rays of the sun peeking over the forest canopy. She averted her eyes—fear from her recent adventures not erased yet—and found herself looking at a lily in full bloom.

"Who painted these walls?" she asked, "the art is all over the house, as far as I've seen."

Jamie's dark eyebrows raised, a smirk on her face. "That's your first question?"

"It's one I'm most curious about."

"Do you like them?"

It was the opposite of an answer, but she hummed, stepping closer to the woman so that she'd see the sincerity in her eyes. "They're the second most magnificent thing I've seen in my life."

A sharp intake of breath. "What's the first?"

"I was promised the truth," she replied, feeling strangely clever as she sat down on the bed, heart fluttering madly, "I don't remember offering any in return."

Jamie grinned, quick and impressed. "Fair enough. What do you want to know?"

"I think I'll start with the most obvious—why do you have a magic mirror in your house?"

"That mirror is not the only thing that's magical here."

She felt her mouth go dry. "But—but that's impossible. Magic was wiped out centuries ago. It couldn't possibly—"

"Couldn't it?" Jamie interrupted, excitement buzzing around her very being. "You know what we are. You saw that mirror. Do you really still believe everything in the world is what you've been taught, princess?"

"Just call me Lily," she said quickly, and Jamie smiled, "but then how does no one else know? Why is everyone on the other side of the forbidden forest ignorant to such breathtaking possibilities?"

"Not everyone," Jamie answered slowly, lowering herself onto the bed so that she was facing Lily properly. Her eyes were depths of molten gold and held the promise of everything beautiful in the world. "There are some on the other side who—who know about us, whom we've placed our trust in. We get our news about Gryffindale, about the royal family, from them. It's how we recognized you. Magic has existed in your world always, Lily, and will continue to do so even if it remains hidden behind closed doors."

"Have you—did you ever live there? Before?"

"Yes. As did Sirius. He's my brother, in all the ways that matter. After my parents passed, we decided it wouldn't do to hide our identities anymore. These marks on our bodies—we didn't want to be ashamed of them anymore."

Almost instinctively, Lily's fingers reached out to trace over the glowing print on her arm. Jamie tensed underneath the gentle touch but did not make to pull away. She looked up and found a whirlwind of emotions blazing in her eyes. "And so you escaped."

"And so we escaped," Jamie confirmed, voice barely more than a whisper.

"That was very brave of you."

"I suppose you can understand the feeling—pretending to be someone you're not—and how it can slowly kill you."

Lily nodded, tearing her gaze away when the intensity of her words, her eyes, grew too much. Her forefinger continued to trail down the band until faded into the skin of Jamie's palm. Something caught her notice, and Lily smiled, eyes flashing up again. "It's you."

"Pardon?" Jamie's pulse skittered erratically against her touch.

"You're the one who made these paintings," she clarified, smile widening. A drag of her hand, until she could tap meaningfully on Jamie's fingertips. "There are smudges of fading colors and dried paint all over your fingers and nails."

"Oh that," a mumbled response, and she was surprised to see the flush that had stolen over Jamie's cheeks. For someone who exuded so much confidence and smugness with every toss of the hair, the sudden modesty was exhilarating to watch. "Well. Yes. I just make them when I'm bored."

"If this is the result of your boredom, I'd like to see you actually try, Prongs."

She looked pleased at that, shifting slightly closer so that her knee bumped against Lily's. "Caught that, did you?"

"It suits you," she nodded, trying to count the number of shades in hazel, "being a stag, I mean."

"Well, you did say I was magnificent."

It was her turn to flush; heat shooting up her face in a heartbeat. "I never actually said—"

"Lily," Jamie interrupted, and the way her name sounded in that moment—gentle, caring, precious, revered—was enough to make the protests die down in her throat. Jamie shifted her hand so that she could slowly interlace their fingers together. She looked up, eyes beautiful and bright and entirely too hopeful. "Will you stay?"

Lily looked down into her lap when she felt tingling warmth run through her veins. Her breath got lost somewhere inside her when she noticed the pattern of delicate vines blooming on her skin from the places Jamie's fingertips touched her hand. They were ephemeral—greens and blues of buds and stems dissolving into the paleness quickly—but glorious. And she knew, in that moment—she knew she could spend all her life watching Jamie cast more magic over her.

"I will stay."


A/N - Reviews mean the world to me!