As Caleb swiped away stray tears of shock and hurt, he was dimly aware of his feet moving, seemingly of their own accord, as he and Dawn left the courthouse. A judge who had heard all the same evidence that he had heard spouted out from the CPS lawyer, a judge who had seen the pictures of Dean, and had more importantly, heard all the counter-arguments from Dawn, which had explained the bruises, had explained their absences, had ruled in favor of CPS.
It was over. He had lost custody of Sam and Dean to people who had no idea what kind of danger they would be unknowingly placing them in by taking them from the only source of protection they had. It was unfair, it was stunning, and it was heartbreaking for him.
Swallowing back the baseball-sized lump in the back of his throat, he somehow made it to his car, not even remembering the transition from the courtroom to there. He paused briefly to at least attempt to gain control over his fractured emotions, he briefly saw Dawn approach him out of the corner of his eye.
She had done everything she could to prevent this from happening. She had put her own experts on the stand, she had done her best to cast doubt over the CPS's case, but in the end, the judge had clearly agreed that he was a 'risk factor', that the kids would be better protected in another place.
If only they knew.
If only they knew about the horrific world of demons and spirits. If only they had the slightest inkling of why Dean had those injuries, and knew that he would sooner die than lay a hand on either of the boys, and if only they knew the peril they would be placing the boys in if they took them from their home.
"I'm so sorry," she said, as she came to stand next to him. Her crystalline eyes showing nothing but the remorse that she felt in not being able to secure this for her client and friend.
"It's...it's not your fault," he said, finally feeling strong enough within himself to face her.
He would have loved nothing more than to have placed the blame on her for not being able to make sure he kept custody of Sam and Dean, but it wasn't her fault. The CPS and their lawyers had simply been too much when combined together, and especially with the prosecution bringing up his past criminal behavior, and all the marks on Dean.
"Still," she said, shaking her head. "I thought we had it. They can't prove where the marks came from, only that it was consistent with being hit or punched. It doesn't directly point to you."
"What about Bobby? Could...could he get them tonight?"
He knew the option had been submitted for a formal hearing, but he knew it would not be in enough time to change the result of the decision.
Dawn shook her head. "We have a hearing date for him to get the kids, but it won't change what's supposed to happen tonight. They saw those bruises, and they took it to the nth degree."
"That's the way they think, and why wouldn't they? I'm the one who has sole custody of them. I'm the one who's with them every single day of the world, and I'm the one who's in charge of this stuff, and now with Jim gone, it all falls on me."
"I know," she said, nodding her head. "And I know I've never really seen you around the boys, but I know from knowing you, that you must be pretty amazing with them."
"I hope so," he said, looking down at his shaking hands. "Now, though? It doesn't really matter. We lost, and now I have to find a way to tell them that I don't have custody anymore, that they have to go somewhere for right now."
"If you want," she said, "I can come with you and help you tell them."
"No," he said, shaking his head, as he tried to plaster a grateful smile on his face, even though he knew that it came off forced, and even slightly shaken. "I need this time with them," he said, his voice breaking. "If this is the last time that I'll have with them for awhile, we need to make the best of it."
He couldn't even bear to imagine the possibility that this might be the last time he spent with the boys as a family. He couldn't imagine having to go home and inform them, especially Dean, that they would have to go someplace, that he and Dawn had lost their case.
"I'll file an appeal," Dawn promised, as he started to get in the car. "It will be on the judge's desk as soon as its processed through the different channels."
"Will it affect what's supposed to happen tonight?"
"No. You have to have the boys at CPS by five, and it will take a day or so at least for it to be approved and then for the judge to see it."
"Alright," he said, struggling to hold back his tears, at least until he was alone and on the drive home to deal with them on his own terms, in his own way. "Thank you."
"I'm sorry, again."
"I know. I appreciate it."
Eight 'o clock was only a few hours. The hearing hadn't been called on time, and as a result, he and Dawn had had to wait longer before their case was called. Now it was pushing three 'o clock, and the window of time he had with the boys was rapidly closing as he started the drive back.
Scrubbing a hand over his face as he drove, he tried to imagine what he would say to them when he walked through the door, and came up blank. Was there a guidebook for how to gently break the news to your kids that they would have to be taken? That CPS thought he was an abusive monster?
Wishing anyone but him could do the ugly deed, he paused in the garage when he first pulled in, trying to salvage any amount of peace he had left, before walking straight into another nightmare. Dean, he knew, would react the strongest to this, and he didn't blame him.
Dean had seen more than Sam, had more responsibility on his shoulders, and knew just how dangerous their lives could be, and how detrimental it could be for them to be separated from their family.
"Hey," he said, when he walked in through the kitchen, and turned into the living room. "Where's Sam?" he asked Dean, as he came to sit beside him on the sofa.
"He's upstairs," Dean replied, "some frog project for science class that he's trying to finish."
"Oh."
Caleb had never seen a kid so obsessed with school. Each day Sam seemed to come home with some award or certificate for completing a task, or even if it was something small like helping someone pick up their spilled crayons. It was a wonderful outlet for him, and Caleb hated that it had to be tarnished with the knowledge that they were the ones who had initially made the report to CPS about him.
"So," Dean said, as he scooted closer to Caleb. "What happened?"
"Uh, I actually," Caleb said, as he put an arm around Dean, pulling him close. "I had a custody hearing with Dawn today, in court."
Caleb hated to see how uncertain and scared Dean was. It was a product of having everything in their lives go wrong lately. If it wasn't Jim dying, it was YED threatening Sam, and now this.
"Um," Caleb said, faltering slightly as he turned his head to the side to shield his tears. "The judge...he..."
"He what?" Dean demanded.
"He agreed with what CPS was saying, and he signed over custody to them."
A quick swear word was the only response Dean had at first, and Caleb could see his eyes clench shut to avoid showing the emotion that was begging to come out. Normally, they would have talked it out, but there was nothing to say. As a result, Dean tried to get up but was pulled back by the quick (but gentle) tug Caleb put on his arm.
"We have to go somewhere?" Dean whispered, his voice broken.
"Yes. Dawn's going to start the appeals process, but it's not going to be complete in enough time before I have to have you guys there."
"When?"
"In about two hours."
Dean shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe _this. Why? Why us? Why do we have to go anywhere?" he demanded, as his posture, which had been so forcibly strong just minutes earlier, completely crumbled in devastation and defeat.
"Because, Dean. CPS does...they do amazing work with kids and to help people. They do. But they're human, Dean, and they're run by people who make mistakes. This is one of them. It's awful, and I'm a wreck, to be honest with you, but we'll get through this. The truth will come out, Dean."
It was laughable to him that he would be accused of abusing Sam and Dean, when he knew the truth, when the boys knew that he would never hit or punch them, and had certainly never denied them medical treatment when it was warranted. It was one of the many downfalls of the hunting part of their life, and how the authorities who couldn't understand, were now punishing him for something they had no idea about.
And unfortunately, it was the boys who would end up suffering the most. Not him, even though his heart was breaking at the idea of saying goodbye to them, of having to walk away when he had done nothing to deserve it.
"But you didn't," Dean said, shaking his head, denying what Caleb and the courts were telling him. "You have never hit us or done anything to hurt us."
"I know that, and you know that, but it's what they think that matters, unfortunately, and this is what he came up with, at least until whatever proceedings happens and it's resolved."
"No," Dean said, shaking his head. "I won't go. I won't do it."
"Dean-"
"I won't. We can't be separated, Caleb. You know that. With Yellow-Eyes trying to find us and Sam, we can't be left vulnerable."
"I know. Believe me, that was one of the first issues I thought about when this all came down. How am I supposed to protect you both when you're somewhere else?"
"You can't."
Dean couldn't believe this was happening. For as long as he could remember, he and Caleb had been so fortunate to share such an incredibly close bond, he had already lost him once when his horrific murder case was happening. Now it was a situation of he and Sam being forced away by a CPS who didn't understand.
"I know," Caleb said, not even bothering to deny the truthfulness of Dean's statement. "And I don't know what I'm supposed to do-"
"We leave," Dean answered without hesitation. "We go now before they have a chance to find us."
"Dean," Caleb said, "even if we do that, there's always that chance-"
"So! Who cares? As long as we're giving ourselves a fighting chance, because we won't be protected if we're not with you, or Bobby, and," Dean said, trailing off momentarily. "And I don't think I can survive something like this again."
"What do you mean?"
"When you were gone for those three months, there were days I honestly thought that I wouldn't make it because I missed you so much, and then things got better when you got back, and then Jim died, and now I have to lose you again? I have to lose more of my family?"
The shock from Jim's death, had still firmly remained entrenched in Dean's mind, and he hadn't even come close to accepting it, even though it had been nearly five months since their tragic loss happened. The idea of more change, of more upheaval, and having to leave Caleb, was absolutely atrocious to him and it was terrifying.
"You will never lose me, Dean. Not ever," Caleb said, shaking his head. "Not even if we have to be apart for a little bit of time, we will never lose this family."
"What happens if they-"
"If they keep us apart permanently?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah."
"We'll cross that road when we come to it."
"We can't, Caleb," Dean said. "Not this time. It worked before for you to stay and fight this, but this is different now. We can't be apart, not with Yellow-Eyes still out there. You know that."
"I do."
"What is your gut saying we do?" Dean asked, after a few minutes of contemplative silence.
It was a little trick that Caleb used on the boys whenever they were on the fence about something, and it almost always got them thinking the way he wanted them to think, or even got them moving a little faster when they were lagging in the mornings.
"Well," Caleb said thoughtfully, "my head is telling me to stay and not push my luck, but my gut is telling me the exact opposite, to run and make sure you kids are safe."
"So which one do you listen to?"
"My gut."
Even though running went against everything Caleb believed in, and what he felt comfortable with, he knew that he couldn't afford to do anything else. Dean was right, Yellow-Eyes was still out there, still waiting for the next opportunity to strike, and they could not afford for them to be separated from one another. After calling Bobby and arranging a time where they could meet up at the safe house, they left. Sam, while not entirely understanding the gravity of the situation at hand, thought it was a fun (but confusing) adventure, as they once again had to leave their home in Minnesota for the relatively safer one in South Dakota.
But even though the safe house was just that, it only protected against demons. Humans could come and go whenever they pleased, and sooner or later, Caleb knew that he would face the consequences for running like this.
"How far?" Dean asked, feeling his heart hammering in his ribcage, as he glanced over at Caleb.
"About another hour. We just crossed over into South Dakota."
It had gone much faster this time around. Instead of the leisurely, fun drive that they normally took to Sioux Falls, this time everything was different. The occupants in the car, except maybe for Sam, were on edge, terrified of the unthinkable happening.
"Okay," Dean said, as he tried to settle back against the front seat, but he couldn't. Not until they reached the safe house and were guaranteed at least some protection from the people and things that wanted to hunt them.
"Just stay cool," Caleb said, glancing over and seeing how tense the thirteen-year-old was. "We'll be there soon-"
The words had no sooner left his mouth than the sight of a police car coming up behind them, caught his attention. Any doubt that the car was meant for them, was quickly erased from Caleb's mind when the sirens went on.
In his mind, he had a micro-second to make his choice. Either keep driving and risk a nasty ending, or stop and see what they wanted, even though there was no compunctions in his mind about what they wanted, and it made him want to throw up.
"Caleb," Dean said, "we didn't do anything-"
"I know that," Caleb said, as he started to stop, "but if we keep driving, this thing ends very badly, and I don't want you or Sam caught in the crossfire."
As he pulled off onto the shoulder of the highway they had been traveling on, he tried to control the frantic pounding of his heart, and make sure that his every action and look, showcased nothing but complete cooperation and willingness to comply, even though he had no intentions of letting them take the kids.
"Caleb-" Dean began, his face showing the fear that he was clearly feeling, as he glanced in the backseat at Sam. "We can't stop. They can't-"
"They won't," Caleb said, shaking his head. "Just don't say anything to them, okay? Let me handle it."
It was obvious Dean didn't like that order, but he wisely didn't argue against it, either. He watched quietly as the officer signaled for Caleb to roll down his window, and tried hard not to glare his distrust at the uniformed officer standing there.
"Good afternoon," the officer said, looking in on Caleb and the boys. "Can I see some license and registration?"
"Sure."
As Caleb gave him the required information, he exchanged tense glances with Dean, as the officer momentarily left them to go check the information out back at his squad car.
"What do you think is going to happen?" Dean whispered.
"I don't know."
It was making Caleb nervous. He could feel his heart race as he watched the officer walk back toward them.
"Are you Caleb Rivers?"
"Yes."
"Okay," the officer said, "I need you to step out of the car, please."
Caleb had been afraid of this. Sighing deeply, he began to unbuckle his seatbelt, still not sure how he was going to handle this, as he caught sight of the terrified look on Dean's face.
"Caleb-"
"Dean," he started, as he began to get out. "Just stay here, okay? Stay here with Sammy. It's going to be okay, just stay here. Promise me."
Dean was obviously torn, but he eventually nodded. "Okay."
"Thank you."
Feeling slightly better now that he knew that Dean would listen and obey what he was telling him, he got out of the car to talk to the officer, as they went to stand behind the car. Caleb was acutely aware of Dean leaning around in his seat, observing everything that was going on.
"What can I do for you?" Caleb asked, as he crossed his arms over his chest, turning his head briefly to lock eyes with Dean, before turning back to the officer.
"We have a situation," the officer said, not bothering to beat around the bush. "There's a court order that states that you had to surrender custody to the CPS offices, an hour ago."
Caleb nodded; he had suspected this would be the problem. "Yes," he said, bowing his head briefly before looking up at the officer. "It was a mistake-"
"It becomes a problem, because we have an order from a judge in a court of law saying that you had to hand over physical custody of Sam and Dean Winchester to the CPS offices. When there's a failure to present them, and then we catch you traveling outside of Minnesota, and across state lines, it becomes a felony."
"A...what?" Caleb said, struggling to understand what this officer was saying. He had expected to hear a lot from this man, but that was the last thing he had expected to hear, as he tried to keep himself calm and not fly off the handle until he had all the facts.
"When there's an order," the officer said again, "saying that you no longer had custody and had to give it up, and then you fail to arrive with them at CPS, and then we catch you outside of the state, it becomes an issue of kidnapping."
Caleb shook his head, feeling sick to his stomach. "You have to be kidding me."
"I'm not. This is serious."
And it certainly would prove to be catastrophic for him in his attempts to regain custody of them. Feeling tears of pure panic and fear come to his eyes, he hastily wiped them away, as he tried to find a way out of this situation, and came up blank.
"It was a mistake," Caleb said. "I was trying to spend some more time with them. It was never my intention to create more problems."
"Well, regardless," the officer said. "The law is clearly defined where it concerns this kind of thing, and this is considered kidnapping."
"I'm sorry-"
"I don't have a choice," the officer said. "Turn around and put your hands behind your back."
"No," Caleb said. "Not here. Please, don't do this here. I don't want them to see that," he said, looking over again at the boys. Dean was still keenly observing everything that he could see from his limited view, and Caleb knew it would completely shatter him to see him be put in handcuffs.
"Alright," the officer said, taking pity on him. "Let's walk behind my car, then."
Grateful that the officer was allowing him that one small mercy in protecting the boys from further emotional strife, he numbly walked with the officer back toward his squad car.
"Okay," the officer said, "turn around and put your hands behind your back."
This time Caleb complied, as he turned and put his hands behind him. As he felt the smooth metal of the cuffs fasten around his one wrist, and then the other, he tried to control the panic that was coming in waves, as they click click clicked into place behind him.
"You have the right to remain silent," the officer said, beginning to read him his rights. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you free of charge. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"
"Yes. What's going to happen to them?" he asked, looking over in the direction of their car.
"We'll take them back to Minnesota."
"Is there any way my friend, Bobby, can take them?"
"That will be up to the courts to decide," he said, as he opened the back door of the police car. "In the meantime, I have to take you in."
"I know."
"Something's wrong," Dean said, shaking his head. "I know it."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked, his little voice trembling in fright.
"I haven't seen Caleb since he and the cop went behind his car."
It was freaking him out, as he waited impatiently for Caleb to make an appearance, to let him know that they had managed to skate past the cop, and could be on their way. When a sharp knock brought his attention to the driver's side door, he jumped when it opened, and a cop stuck his head inside.
It was a different one than Dean had first seen when they had been pulled over. As he scooted closer to Sam, he glared his mistrust as he gave him a none-verbal warning to stay back.
"Why don't you boys step out of the car."
Dean obliged, knowing that out in the open, he would have more freedom to protect his little brother.
"Where's Caleb?" he demanded, keeping at least three feet from them and the officer.
"He's been placed under arrest."
"What?" Dean said incredulously. "No, no," he said, his voice breaking, even though he was trying to stay strong in the presence of whom he viewed to be the enemy.
Even though he was trying to stay strong on the outside, on the inside he could feel his heart break, could feel the irksome tears begin to gather around the back of his eyelids, and could feel a lump the size of Texas in the back of his throat, as he tried to control that part of him that was growing more and more devastated by the second.
"I have to take you back right now," the officer said.
"No!"
With that, Dean grabbed Sam's hand and ran. There was a large forest that bordered the long expanse of highway that they had been caught on. It was their only hope of evading the police, as he effortlessly weaved himself through the trees, wasting no time to stop while he kept himself and Sam moving.
This was his fault.
He had convinced Caleb to run.
And now he was on his way to jail.
Running with Sam was his only hope of escaping the same force that had taken Caleb.
AN:
Now Dean's dream makes a little more sense, huh?
