Delphine showers wordlessly, the dull ache doesn't dissipate but the water relaxes her muscles. Even observing Cosima during the act has not answered her questions of why. It didn't make sense. None of it made sense.

She's lounging on the bed when she hears the beep of the card key, and Cosima opens the door.

"Why did you want to hurt me?" Delphine asks when Cosima is placing small boxes of Chinese takeout in front of her

"I don't." Cosima brushes her off. "Can we eat before we get into me having the telomeres of an old lady?"

"During sex. You wanted to hurt me. Why?"

"You're the one who likes fisting. You want intense sex." Cosima shrugs.

"Fisting is very gentle sex." Delphine replies flatly. "There's a sting of stretching, it makes me sore, it's intense but it doesn't hurt like what you just did."

"So no more rough sex?" Cosima surmises putting her arms up in mock surrender.

"What's the point? You're not a man desperately trying to achieve orgasm. I rarely let men go that hard. Even if they were struggling to achieve orgasm." Delphine stares her down, arms crossed. "I would usually go to a position where they cannot get deep if they tried what you did. Not doggy-style. I let you, but I want to know why."

"The point is rough sex?" Cosima shrugs. "Does there have to be a point?"

"Do you want it like that? Do you want pain?" That's a possibility she has to consider. The idea of hurting Cosima doesn't appeal to her at all.

Cosima shrugs. "Maybe occasionally… you don't want to be rough with me though. You never are."

"I told you, I make love to you." Delphine responds. "I like being gentle with you. I like giving you pleasure."

"Pleasure. Pain. For some people it's mixed."

"Not for me."

"What do you want then, sexually?" Cosima opens a takeout container and begins to eat what looks like mediocre veggie lo mein.

"I want you! I want your hands and your mouth on me. I want to be able to kiss you when we fuck. I want pleasure. Long and drawn out. I want many orgasms. Yours and mine. I want your taste, and I want to feel you. All of you. I want our bodies together. I want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to make love… in every sense of the word."

"In other words, what I have been doing to you since we started." Cosima smirks.

"Mostly." Delphine agrees. "I love you! I want you. I'd have been happier with your fingers. You feel good."

"You're not bored?"

Delphine shakes her head emphatically. "Are you?"

"Sometimes." Cosima admits softly.

"I'm sorry. What do you need?" Delphine tries not to let this get to her. Surely, this is something they can handle together.

"Toys. Novelty. Something different. A little kinky." Cosima grins. "Maybe a little rough."

"I can do that for you." Delphine volunteers. "You tell me what you want and you'll have it."

"It's not just about me though. It's us. I love having sex with you. Any way. I just want...excitement."

"You want me to excite you?"

"Yeah. That about sums it up." Cosima nods with a grin.

"Like, do you want restraints? Do you want me to wear lingerie? Or is it just toys you want?"

"All of the above? Maybe not at the same time." Cosima considers her options, fingers spinning slightly.

"So it was exciting for you to be too rough?"

"Kinda?" Cosima half-winces at her sympathetically. "I… I figured you could probably take it. I really didn't mean to bruise you."

"Because I used to fuck men?" Delphine deadpans at her. "I don't have the tolerance to deal with rough sex like that. It happened a few times. It was usually the last time with that particular man if it did. I has the misfortune several years ago of having sex with a man, a little younger than us, who believed if he wasn't breaking condoms he wasn't going hard enough. I never slept with him again."

"Noted." Cosima responds, offering Delphine one of the takeout containers. "Did he break it?"

"Yes." Delphine responds with a shrug. She begins to eat noting that this meal is entirely mediocre. It wasn't worth the effort. She decides to eat enough to be polite.

"Yeah the food isn't great." Cosima apologizes. "It was this or fast food. Maybe we should have gone for fast food. So… I am guessing that sex was bad, and then you needed to take Plan B."

"Yes." Delphine responds. "And I hate taking it. Makes me feel sick, but it is leagues better than the alternative."

"I guess that's another huge advantage of only having sex with me. We cannot like accidentally fuck a potential human into existence. No contraception required." Cosima grins at this, no doubt thinking she is hilarious.

Delphine looks at Cosima, and it is true, with every other partner she'd had that would have felt like a huge relief. And while it's still an advantage, she doesn't mind the thought of having a child with Cosima. In fact, there's a part of her that finds the idea of having Cosima's baby extremely appealing. Though not quite yet.

"What are you thinking about?" Cosima gives her a look.

Delphine shakes her head. Now is not the time for that discussion. "Nothing important."

"Tell me." Cosima prods. "Unless it's about telomeres. I can wait for that one."

Delphine laughs. "It's not the time. We can talk about it later." Sometime when she isn't feeling bruised and they've just had better sex, Delphine theorizes. Or even in a year or two when things feel more settled.

"Time for what? Talk about what?"

"To discuss our future…. Family planning." Delphine finishes, wondering if she's even used the right word.

"Yeah… this Leda uterus isn't giving you any babies, Delphine." Cosima laughs, as if she still thinks she is joking. "And you have zero sperm. So...no worries there."

"I will have your babies, Cosima. If you want them, we will have them." Delphine assures her seriously, gripping her hands.

Cosima is taken aback, eyes instantly wide as saucers. "Delphine…"

"I will. I love you. I'll carry them." Delphine insists.

"I… I don't care about that. But… you're really sweet." Cosima nods, pulling her hands away.

"Alright." Delphine nods. That particular discussion can wait a few years at any rate. Wait until Cosima's dissertation is complete at minimum.

"Like… that isn't a priority for me. I'm not 100% percent on it either way right now." Cosima makes a show of weighing it out with her hands. "Like we are so not at the point of talking sperm banks and babies… We… are not there. At all."

"Not sperm banks." Delphine tells her firmly. "Defy your creators. They made you sterile but, we can overcome that. Defy biology itself, make a baby with me. "

"Delphine…"

"Not soon , just someday. Five or six years." Delphine suggests what she thinks is an appropriate timeline. Time to enjoy each other, to travel, to pursue their careers. To pursue the relevant research when the time comes.

"I'm not sure if I ever want that. Are you sure you want that? That is a huge responsibility, raising a human."

"I know I want your child someday. I want her to grow here." Delphine lets a hand rest beneath her navel. "And I want her to be 100% ours."

"Like those bone marrow mice babies with two moms?" Cosima catches her drift quickly.

"Yes, only made from us ." Delphine tries to make this sound as romantic as possible. "Something made from our love. We could make it happen. We could have that!"

"Made from some intense experimental science." Cosima corrects her.

"And our love!" Delphine protests. "So much love."

"OK. I'm ready to talk about telomeres now." Cosima volunteers, abruptly changing the subject.

Delphine is about to insist, but surely this is too early. She can let this go. They can talk about this later. Much later.

"I want to work on lengthening your telomeres." Delphine tells her. "I … I had some side research going at DYAD on it. Researchers at Stanford are working on it, looking at telomerase enzyme and using modified RNA. It's… it's like CRISPR. It's involved and highly experimental but we need to try. We should be able to do something. Even another ten years. Another twenty. I'll try anything, Cosima. We… we should be able to work on it when we get back from our trip to treat your sisters. All your sisters."

"So…. we test it on me and then give it to Alison, Sarah, Helena… What about the rest of them?" Cosima tilts her head.

"We'd.. we'd have to travel again. And the treatment would be more involved. It would be more intense. I am not sure I could treat them all."

"Then it's not fair. Why should I get to live into my 80s if the others can't?" Cosima brings up.

"Because otherwise you will leave behind a very sad wife." Delphine is firm. "We must try it on you. And then we can offer it to your sisters. And if we must, we'll find a way to sneak it to the others. We can always travel again."

"We could." Cosima acknowledges. "But isn't what Stanford tried. Isn't it temporary?"

"It is… they estimate they could add seven years. But… the procedure can be repeated. As many times as is necessary."

"And just how long is necessary Delphine? How long do I have to be a lab rat?" Cosima's words are harsh but her voice is soft.

"Until I am old, and we think that I will die within the next seven years. Preferably one more treatment as I do not wish to outlive you." Delphine tells her very firmly.

"But… naturally, you could outlive me. That's nature Delphine. Healthy French woman outlives sickly Leda clone cloned from middle-aged woman." Cosima insists. "Just like… it wouldn't be natural for us to make a baby. It's not ...right. It's just more heavy science."

"I don't care if it's natural!" Delphine throws back, heatedly. "Vaccines aren't natural, and we want those. Neither are antibiotics. Or contraception. Or anti-depressants. Or heart disease medications. They improve and lengthen lives. They permit people to live their lives. Who cares if it's natural?"

"Wow." Cosima stops for a moment. "OK, you're making your point but you're starting to sound like a neolutionist."

"I will be whatever it takes to spend my life with you." Delphine tells her calmly. "Natural or not."