L
I was going to murder V in his sleep. Or maybe right here in public with witnesses. I slammed my clubs down and the caddie quickly grabbed them which was a good thing. I was getting ready to throw something.
"Meg? Really V? You asked Meg?" I growled, looking past V to see Meg checking in and pointing our way.
"We needed three. You pissed off Rosé so we were short a person. Everyone else was taken. Meg wanted to play. What's the big deal?" he handed his bag to the caddie and shot me an annoyed look.
Jennie was the big deal. I hadn't told her that Meg would be on my team because I hadn't known. Now if she saw us she'd think I was trying to keep it from her. I needed to find her.
"Can I get you three a water?" a redheaded cart girl whose name I couldn't remember asked. Figured Mino wouldn't let me have Jennie. That would have helped. I could have explained this to her and she'd been able to see it was completely innocent.
"Yes, please, Carmen," V replied. He was flashing her a grin and she was batting her eyelashes. He'd probably slept with this one. If not, he would be tonight. "Give one to grumpy pants too. She needs to hydrate herself," V joked.
"Ready to kick some ass?" Meg asked, walking up to us.
No, I was ready to find Jennie and explain this. I looked back over at the cart girl. "Where in the lineup is Jennie?" I asked her.
She made a pouty face. "I'm not good enough?"
"Yes, sugar, you're perfect. She just has the hots for Jennie. Nothing personal," V explained, winking at her. She beamed at him again.
"She got the first group. I think Mr. Kerrington is in that group. The young Mr. Kerrington. Mrs. Darla said something about Mr. Kerrington requesting Jennie," the girl replied with a satisfied smile.
Mino was a dick. I didn't doubt it.
"Good morning, Meg. Sorry but we have a bad mood Lisa on our hands," V said in way of greeting to Meg who I'd forgotten had joined us.
"I can see that. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that Jennie is the girl she chased after leaving me all alone without an explanation the other day."
"If she chased after a girl then yes, it was Jennie," V replied.
I ignored both of them and started to walk toward the front of the line when I saw the first group tee off. Jennie's cart also pulled away at the same time. Shit.
"Would you calm down? Jennie isn't the one to get jealous. That's you," V grumbled then took a swig of his water.
"Okay, is it a problem that I'm playing with the two of you? Is that what this is about?" Meg asked, staring directly at me.
"I don't want Jennie upset," I replied and looked back out in the direction she'd driven.
"Oh. Well, this is just golf; not a date," Meg replied.
She was right. I was being ridiculous. We weren't in high school and I could play golf with a female. Jennie now knew that Meg was an old friend and we were with V. It wasn't like it was just the two of us. This would be okay.
"I'm on edge. Sorry. You're right. This isn't a big deal," I agreed and decided to relax and enjoy the day. At least Jennie was in the front. She'd be done and inside sooner. That was probably why Mino had requested her. So she wouldn't be out in the sun as long as the others.
By the time we'd made it to the sixth hole I had relaxed and was enjoying myself. Except for the occasional worry about Jennie being in the heat I was fine. I knew Mino was watching her and as annoying as that was it was also a relief.
"Come on V, so far Lisa has the best out of three and I have the best out of two. This one is yours buddy. You can do it," Meg taunted him as he set up to put for par.
V shot her a warning glare. Putting wasn't V's strong point and it hadn't taken Meg long to figure that out. If he sunk this one it'd be a miracle.
"I think he needs a little help, Meg. Maybe you could go give him a lesson," I suggested.
The angry look on V's face made both of us crack up. Damn he was too easy. "You might wanna back up, Meg. He looks ready to blow. If his putter goes flying you don't want to be in the line of fire."
Meg backed up and stood by me. "Does he really throw clubs?" she asked with a hopeful smile.
"Don't get too excited. If he's pissed enough to throw clubs then he is pretty damn mad."
"I'm not scared. You have the bigger arms," Meg said throwing another grin toward V. She was goading him.
"She does not have bigger arms!" V barked, straighteningup from his putting stance with a defensive look on his face.
Meg reached over and squeezed my arm. "Um, yeah these are pretty damn impressive. Show me what you got," she teased V some more.
V jerked his shirt off and walked over to stand in front of Meg flexing his muscles. "Feel that, baby. She ain't got nothing on me. She's just a pretty girl."
Rolling my eyes I started to walk back to the golf cart. V reached out and grabbed my arm. "No you don't. This is a contest I'm gonna fucking win. Flex those puny arms. Let her see who is packing more heat."
I had no desire to win this contest. "You won. I'm good with it. He has bigger arms, Meg," I said, jerking my arms free of his grip.
"No, he doesn't. You weren't flexing when I felt yours and I'm positive yours were bigger," she replied with a wicked grin. I was positive this was a bad idea. I didn't think she was flirting but I wasn't sure.
"That's bullshit! Flex your arm, Lisa. I'm proving this one. I got the better guns."
"Yes, you do. It's cool," I replied.
"Flex them now, I mean it," V demanded. He was really in a pissing contest here. One I was gladly willing to let him win. I was just ready to move on to the next hole.
"Fine," I agreed. "If this will make you go putt that ball so we can move on to the next hole I'll flex my arm."
V grinned and held his arm out again for her to feel. She was waiting on me. I flexed and let her feel. This was ridiculous.
"Sorry V, she wins this," Meg replied squeezing my arms just a little too long. I dropped my arm and headed back to the cart.
"Putt the ball, V," I called out.
"You didn't win this! She just picked you because she feels loyal to you since she was your first fuck," he replied.
I jerked my head around to see if anyone had heard him. Thankfully, it looked like no one had.
J
I sat there as they got on their cart and drove to the next hole. I was supposed to be getting more drinks. My desire to see Lisa had gotten the best of me and I'd taken a small detour until I found her. Now, I wish I hadn't. For the first time this week I was sick at my stomach again. She hadn't told me Meg was her first. She'd just said they were old friends.
Knowing what kind of old friends they were didn't help. I was well aware that Lisa had a string of girls that she'd slept with. It was something I knew when I'd gone to her bed the first time. But seeing her with the one. The one that had been her first was painful.
She'd been flirting with Lisa and she'd been flirting back. Trying to impress Meg with her muscles. They were impressive enough without Lisa flexing them and showing off. Why had she done that? Did she want Meg to be attracted to her? Was she curious about what Meg was like in bed now?
My stomach rolled and I forced my cart into drive and pulled away from the trees I'd been hiding behind. I hadn't meant to hide. I'd taken a short cut to see if Lisa was at this hole. But when I'd seen her smiling at Meg and then letting Meg touch her I'd stopped. I couldn't go any further.
Meg was a part of her world. Meg fit into her world. Instead of driving a drink cart around she was playing golf with Lisa. Lisa couldn't have asked me. For starters I had no idea how to play and then, of course, I worked here. I couldn't play. What was she doing with me? Her sister hated me. I couldn't be a part of her life. Not really. I would always be on the outside looking in. I hated the way this felt.
Being with her was amazing. In the privacy of her house or my condo it was easy to pretend we could be something more. But what happens when I'm showing? When I'm very pregnant and she is with me? People will know. How will she handle it? Can I expect her to?
I loaded the cart back up and let my mind play over all the scenarios that could happen with us. None of them ended happily. I wasn't one of the elite. I was just me. This past week I'd let myself play with the idea of staying. Raising this baby with Lisa. As much as seeing her with Meg had hurt it had been the wakeup call I needed. No one lived in a fairy tale. Especially me.
By the time I got back my group had made it to the last stretch. I smiled and served drinks and even joked with the golfers. No one was going to know I was upset. This was my job. I was going to be good at it.
I wouldn't say anything to Lisa tonight. There was no point. She wasn't thinking clearly. I would just put some distance between us. I couldn't let myself believe she was my happily ever after. I was smarter than that.
I hadn't been able to make it through the day without getting sick. The heat had gotten to me but I would be damned if Mino knew about it. I didn't need him thinking I couldn't do my job. Jisoo held my hair back while I threw up in the toilet in the back of the offices. I really did love her.
"You over did it," she scolded as I lifted my head up from my last heave.
I didn't want to admit it but she was probably right. I took the wet washcloth she was handing me and cleaned my face before sitting down on the floor and leaning back against the wall.
"I know. But don't tell anyone," I requested.
Jisoo sat down beside me. "Why?"
"Because I need this job. The money is good. If I'm leaving once I start showing then I need all the money I can save up. It won't be easy getting a job while I'm obviously pregnant."
Jisoo turned her head and looked at me. "You're still planning on leaving? What about Lisa?"
I didn't want Jisoo mad at her. She'd just started being nice to Lisa again. "I saw her today. She was having fun. She fit in. She's where she belongs. I'm where I belong. I don't fit in with her world."
"She doesn't get a say in this? If you just said the word she'd have you moved into her house and she would be taking care of everything. You wouldn't be working at this club and you would be at her side everywhere. You've got to know that."
I didn't like the idea of being one more woman who mooched off her. Her mother and sister did that. I didn't want to do it too. I didn't care about her money. I just cared about her. "I'm not her responsibility."
"Excuse me if I beg to differ. When she knocked you up you became her ultimate responsibility," Jisoo said in a huff.
I knew the truth about the night we'd had sex without a condom. I'd come onto her. I had all but attacked her. It hadn't been her fault. All the other times she was careful. I hadn't let her be that night. It was my mistake not hers.
"Trust me when I tell you that this was all on me. You weren't there the night I got pregnant. I was."
"Can't be all your fault. You can't get pregnant alone."
I wasn't going to argue with her. "Just don't tell anyone I was sick. I don't want them worrying."
"Fine. I'm not happy about it though. You do this again and I'm telling," she warned.
I laid my head over on her shoulder. "Deal," I agreed.
Jisoo patted my head. "You are one crazy girl."
I just laughed because she was right.
L
As soon as the tournament was over, I went home to shower and clean up. I didn't even hang around to get the second place trophy. I left V and Meg to do the honors. I couldn't care less. I only participated in the tournament because I'd signed up with Rosé and V early in the summer. We did it every year. It was for a good cause.
When I'd stopped by the offices where the drink carts were parked Darla said Jennie had left with Jisoo about an hour ago. I called Jisoo but got no answer. I figured by the time I got a shower and changed they would be back from wherever it was they went.
Jisoo's car was in the parking lot when I pulled up to their condo. Jennie was home. Thank God. I'd missed her like crazy all day. I knocked three times and waited impatiently for it to open. Jisoo gave me a tight smile. Not who I wanted to see.
"Hey," I said, stepping in.
"She's already asleep. It was a long day," Jisoo said, still standing at the door holding it open like she wanted me to leave now.
"Is she okay?" I asked, looking down the hall to her closed bedroom door.
"Just tired. Let her sleep," Jisoo replied.
I wasn't leaving. She could close the damn door. "I won't wake her up but I'm not leaving. So you can close the door," I told her before heading back to Jennie's room.
It was only six in the evening. She shouldn't be asleep so early unless she was sick. The idea of her overdoing it today made my heart race. I should have insisted she not work today. This wasn't safe for her or the baby.
I opened the door slowly and stepped inside. Then I closed and locked it behind me. Jennie was curled up in the center of her big bed. She looked lost up there. Her long brown hair fanned out over the pillows and one of her bare legs was kicked out of the covers. I pulled my shirt off then threw it over on the dresser before unzipping my jeans and pulling them off. When I was down to my boxer briefs I pulled the covers back and climbed in behind her. I drew her up against me; she came willingly. A soft sigh and some mumbled greeting was the most adorable sound I'd ever heard. Smiling, I buried my face in her hair and closed my eyes.
This was the only place I ever wanted to be. I slid my hand down and laid it flat over her stomach. The idea of what I was holding right now was humbling.
A soft trail down my arm and then across my chest brought a smile to my face as I opened my eyes. Jennie was turned around facing me now. Her eyes were open as she stared at my chest and ran her finger over each of my pecs then back up and across my shoulder. She lifted her eyes and a small smile played on her lips.
"Hey," I whispered.
"Hey."
It was dark outside now but I had no idea how late it was. "I missed you today."
Her smile slipped and she shifted her gaze away from me. That was an odd reaction. "I missed you too," she replied, not looking at me.
I reached up and took her chin so I could turn her gaze back toward me. "What's wrong?"
She forced a smile. "Nothing."
She was lying. Something was definitely wrong. "Jennie, tell me the truth. You look upset. Something is wrong."
She started to pull away from me but I held her close. "Tell me, please." I begged.
The tension in her body eased some when I said please. I needed to remember that she was weak where that word was concerned.
"I saw you today. You were having fun…" she trailed off.
Was that the problem? Oh… wait. She saw Meg. "This is about Meg. I'm sorry; I didn't know until she got there that V had asked her to replace Rosé. My sister backed out at the last minute and V asked Meg to take her spot. I would have told you before if I'd known."
The tension in her body was back. Shit. I thought that explained it. Was she that upset over it?
"She was your first." Jennie's voice was so soft I almost missed it.
Someone had told her. Fuck. Who knew that other than V? It wasn't like I shared my sexual history with people. Who could have told her? I cupped her face in my hands. "And you're my last."
Her eyes softened. I was getting good at this sweet talking thing. I hadn't much cared about saying the right thing with females before. It was easy with Jennie. I was just being honest.
"I…" She stopped and wiggled in my arms. "I need to go to the restroom," she said. I was positive that wasn't what she was going to say at first but I let her get up.
She was wearing a yellow tank top and pair of pink panties that I knew girls referred to as boy shorts. Even though no guy I knew would wear something like that. Her hips looked fuller and the idea of bending her over the bed and holding those hips made me hard as a rock. I needed to focus. She was upset about something and she wasn't telling me what it was. I had to fix this. I didn't want her upset.
My phone rang and I reached over to get it off the nightstand. It was Rosé. Not who I wanted to talk to at the moment. I pressed ignore. After turning off the ringer, I checked the time. It was only ten after nine.
Jennie stepped back out of the bathroom and grinned sheepishly. "I'm kinda hungry."
"Then let's go feed you," I said getting up and reaching for my jeans.
"I need to go to the grocery. I was going to go earlier but I was sleepy so I thought I'd take a nap first."
"I'll take you to dinner then we'll go grocery shopping in the morning. There are no grocery stores open this late around here."
Jennie look confused. "There aren't any restaurants in town open either."
"The club is open until eleven. You know that." I yanked my shirt down over my head then walked over to her. She was studying me like she didn't understand.
"What?" I asked grabbing her waist and pulling her almost naked body up against me.
"People will see you with me at the club. People other than your friends," she said slowly as if letting it sink in.
"And?" I asked.
She tilted her head back so she could look up at me. "And I work there. They know I work there."
I still didn't understand what she was saying. "I'm not following you."
Jennie let out an exasperated sigh. "Do you not care that other club members will see you eating dinner with an employee?"
I froze. What? "Jennie," I said slowly, making sure I'd heard her correctly. "Did you just ask me if I cared if someone saw me eating with you? Please tell me I misunderstood that."
She shrugged.
I dropped my hands from her waist and walked over to the door. She had to be kidding me. When had I ever led her to believe that I was ashamed of her?
I looked back at her. She had crossed her arms over her chest as she watched me.
"When have I ever made you think I didn't want to be seen with you? Because if I have then I swear to you I'll go fix it."
She shrugged again. "I don't know. We've just never really gone out on a date. I mean there was the honky-tonk that time but it wasn't really a date. Your social functions normally don't include me."
My chest constricted. She was right. I'd never taken her anywhere other than to buy furniture and a ride to Sumit and back. Fuck. I was an idiot. "You're right. I suck. I've never taken you anywhere special," I whispered then shook my head. I had never really had a relationship before. I fucked girls and then I sent them home.
"So all this time you thought I was ashamed of you?" I asked, knowing I didn't want to hear the answer. It was going to hurt like a motherfucker.
"Not ashamed exactly. I just… I just thought well, I don't fit into your world. I know that. Just because I'm pregnant with our baby doesn't mean you have to claim me in any way. You're just being supportive—"
"Jennie. Please. Stop now. I can't listen to any more." I closed the distance I'd put between us. "You're my world. I want everyone to know. I don't know how to date so I never even thought of taking you on a date. But I can promise you right now; I will be taking you on so many damn dates that there won't be a person in this town that doesn't know I worship the ground you walk on," I swore before reaching out and taking her hand. "Forgive me for being an idiot."
Jennie blinked back tears and nodded. I wondered how many more times I was going to screw up before I ever got this right.
