Cosima finds her wife looking her over in the morning as if she can assess her from a single look. She rolls on the soft bed, and feels content. Delphine is already getting dressed. She's probably slept too long again.
"What?"
"Nothing." Delphine brushes it off quickly. "We… we should get going. I'm hungry."
"Breakfast?" Cosima offers. "So… are we checking out today?"
"I guess so." Delphine sighs reluctantly. "We should move on I think."
"So… which is it going to be, wife of mine. PEI or back through Quebec?"
"Back to Québec." Delphine decides. "If it were warmer, maybe but it is already fall and… I don't really see the point of PEI in this weather."
"We can always go in the summer I guess. Rent an overpriced cottage and lay on a beach. But we can do that anywhere." Cosima shrugs. "Let's go get food."
They dress and walk to the closest brunch restaurant. Delphine won't stop watching her, observing her movement, her hips as if she's looking for signs of pain or tenderness. This, of course, makes Cosima more intent on not showing any sign of the soreness she's felt all morning.
"I think I'll have the vegetarian omelette." Cosima announces perusing the menu.
"That sounds good." Delphine considers her options, letting Cosima ramble on. Delphine orders quickly, and their server wanders away. It's easier to talk, easier to ramble on.
She sits across from Cosima who is poking at her eggs and finally gathers the nerve to ask.
"How are you feeling?"
Cosima laughs at her, and raises one eyebrow before dropping her voice low. "Sore. Very very sore." She laughs. What had Delphine been expecting? Certainly she understood their romp would have consequences.
"Really?" Delphine winces sympathetically. "I didn't want you to be too sore."
"What do you think? How do you feel about it?" Cosima returns the attention, brushing off her concern. It would go away. It would be fine.
"It was so beautiful." Delphine drops her voice.
"You found it beautiful?" Cosima sighs. "Like… really? Or just normal levels of beautiful for sex?"
"Our lovemaking is always beautiful. But…" Delphine sighs closing her eyes. "It was wonderful for me."
"You are so gay." Cosima giggles at her wife. "Or bi...whatever."
"Very very gay." Delphine repeats laughing. "You know I love being inside of you." She drops her voice.
"I love you," Cosima smiles. "And our crazy science."
"Je t'aime aussi. But science had nothing to do with last night." Delphine teases her. "It was just us…"
"Just to clarify me getting fisted is not going to be a regular occurrence. More of a special occasion thing at best." Cosima tells her very firmly. She may agree to it again at some point, but it wasn't something she wanted Delphine trying to do to her every month.
"Alright." Delphine seems to accept this quickly. "It is your body. You get to make that choice."
"I'll do it to you whenever you want though." Cosima smirks, and lowers her voice. "I know you love it." Maybe she'll do it every month to Delphine. Maybe they'll become fisting lesbians. She laughs briefly at the thought.
"I do." Delphine lowers her gaze only briefly. "So we'll check out, and hit the road?"
"We will. But first, brunch." Cosima reaches across the table to hold her hand. "You've barely touched your food. We need to eat. Especially if we're hitting the road again."
"Oui. We deserve this. You too."
Cosima shakes her head. "I … don't deserve it as much as you do."
"But you found your cure. And we...we are together . Nothing else has to matter." Delphine is quick to try to assure her.
"I… wasted a lot of time with spiteful rebounding and… refusing to do ...shit." Cosima admits softly. "You… you worked so hard. And I probably don't even know half of it."
"I know." Delphine has to recall. Has to remember. "And I did… but in the end, you found your cure. And you survived. That… that is enough for me now."
"And then? During the worst of it?"
"You… don't want to know." Delphine laughs humourlessly.
"Well you didn't fuck anyone else."
"Non, but I did what I had to do, professionally speaking. And… I would have done anything to save your life. Anything." Delphine speaks bluntly.
"Like threaten Shay?" She was aware of that much. It had, really, spelled the end of that unfortunate relationship.
"Yes. I did that." Delphine acknowledges. "I did what...I thought was necessary."
"She… told me a bit about that. You know, before she spelled out that she never wanted to see my face again." Cosima shrugs. "I mean, I was using her. But it still sucked."
Delphine grows tense across the table from her. "What did she say?"
"That you were creepy as fuck." Cosima summarizes, and then continues. "She said you told her a story about a girl you knew in boarding school. And threatened her with a razor blade."
"There were a lot of girls in boarding school. It was an all girls' school." Delphine quickly brushes her off.
"And she tried to kill herself." Cosima presses on. "I suspect you remember that. That happening to you at school isn't the kind of thing you forget."
"I have not forgotten." Delphine tenses. Her fork sits idly next to her plate, and Cosima almost chickens out. Almost.
"I want to know about young Delphine… I mean… you rarely talk about you. You glaze over boarding school, and med school and your family and the rest of it." Cosima reminds her. "I know… a handful of things about you before you started your PhD. And most of that, is nerdy Delphine stories. Research and science related."
Delphine looks down. "I… I… the girl was me, Cosima. I… I was the girl. I did that."
"Wow." Cosima becomes very quiet before her. It isn't a total shock. She can picture a younger, anxious, perfectionistic Delphine suffering because of those traits.
"It...it was a long time ago." Delphine emphasizes the time. And she knows it's true.
Cosima continues. "Still… that's huge thing to have gone through. I guess you had some kind of plastic surgery done… you don't really have scars."
"Yes. But only my wrists. Not anywhere else." Delphine is firm on this. "There are slight scars, they show under blacklight, so… sometimes I use concealer. But… they are small, thin. Easy to hide. My parents wanted that done shortly after it happened."
"Hey, you're allowed to have a past." Cosima reaches across the table again. "And… you know, having a rough youth happens."
"I know."
"I don't love you any less. Ever." Cosima tells her. "Not because of DYAD, or Leekie or this. Especially not this."
"But do you really mean that?" Delphine looks up at her, eyes questioning and
"I do." Coisma nods. "I love you Delphine. I can handle it. If you can handle all the shit I put you through, I can handle this."
"Alright." Delphine nods. "Where do you want to start."
"We'll start with boarding school. The unabridged version. Just… be honest." Cosima asks pleadingly. "I… I'll never know about those parts of your life unless you tell me."
Cosima loads up the car, letting Delphine handle check out. The sight of her lover confidently striding towards her makes her smile.
"All done?"
"All done." Delphine confirms moving to take the driver's seat. "Québec?"
"For a night or two sure." Cosima agrees. "Then we should start heading home I guess." They've been gone over a week now and probably should start meandering their way home.
"I think it's time we start looking at real estate." Delphine confidently announces. "When we arrive. Wherever we end up tonight."
"Delphine, houses in Toronto go for like a million dollars." Cosima shakes her head. That is insane. They can't afford that. She knows Delphine comes from money, but she cannot possibly have that kind of cash. Not on hand.
"Not a house. A condo. A very nice condo." Delphine assures her. "Less expensive. But still ours."
"So you want to stay in Toronto?" Cosima surmises. It was certainly a great city, and a very good place to be gay. But… was it going to be the right choice?
"Don't you?" Delphine asks. "I'll look for a realtor and we'll start looking."
"I mean… I guess so but what about my PhD?" Cosima wonders aloud. "Like… that's still in Minnesota. I'm only on leave. I should probably go back when we're done clone curing."
"You… you can go back and forth as you need to. I'm trying to get permanent residency. You can too." Delphine tells her decisively. "You may be able to do a lot of your dissertation remotely."
"And when we go on a clone curing trip around the world? Then what?"
"We'll have a home to come back to. One that's just ours." Delphine tries to entice her, and Cosima won't resist for long.
"OK. But nothing too modern and cold." Cosima clarifies. Maybe they could find something.
"OK. We'll look together." Delphine assures her.
"We will. We'll find something. Or… we'll like rent for a while." Cosima offers. "You used to rent."
"Yes. I know. A one-bedroom apartment near DYAD. I… I don't want to live there anymore. I want to build new memories. Somewhere that is just ours."
The drive is smoother, she lets Delphine serenade her with silly pop love songs and she giggles back. It's perfect. They stop to stretch their legs a few times.
"So… Québec City?" Cosima asks. "It's in the right location. Then we can go back and stay in Ottawa… and then home?"
"I think that works." Delphine nods. "There is enough to do there, for sure."
They get a hotel close to Vieux-Québec, in a tall hotel with fabulously comfortable beds and very nice linens. Delphine shows her several listings, she rules out 3 of them immediately, some are ridiculously expensive. And many are high rises.
"OK. Nothing that close to the highway. I don't want to look out our bedroom window and see the 401."
Delphine laughs. "No. Definitely not. It would be far too loud."
"Like are they really going to give a mortgage to a PhD student and a former DYAD employee?"
"We… we won't need a mortgage." Delphine informs her simply. "As long as we don't go over budget. And I will make sure we do not."
"Right." Cosima nods, her eyebrows raising. "So one bedroom condos, and nowhere too expensive."
"Where possible." Delphine tells her. "I… I could do more but that would require dealing with my father. And I'd rather not."
"Your father." Cosima nods. "Yeah that guy you barely talk of. The wealthy one who sent you to an all girl's boarding school, and clearly pressured you to succeed."
"I've mentioned him. And my mother and brother as well." Delphine insists.
Cosima shakes her head. "Delphine… I don't even know his first name."
Delphine laughs. "His name is Yves Cormier."
"Yves." Cosima nods trying to seem very serious. "OK. My father-in-law is named Yves."
"And my mother is Brigitte. You know this. My brother is Sébastien." Delphine tries to jog her memory. But Cosima is certain Delphine has never mentioned them by name.
"Right." Cosima makes a point to remember that. "I think you've mentioned your brother twice. What does he even do?"
"He works in music," Delphine tells her. "At least last time I checked. He… he has never been steady. He did not go into business with my father, but there is still time I suppose. He doesn't need to work."
"So you're the firstborn overachiever and he's… the wanted boy?" Cosima tilts her head.
"Oui. Pretty much." Delphine sighs. "If I had been a boy, I'd have been an only child I think."
"Thank god you weren't." Cosima laughs.
"But I was always smarter than my brother. I skipped grades, started university early. Became a doctor. Became a researcher." Delphine spells it out. "And my parents pushed me, but… I am not Sébastien. We were always treated differently."
"But never could please daddy? I mean, papa?" Cosima wonders aloud, the listings temporarily forgotten. Maybe Delphine having daddy issues would explain away some of her...previous behaviours.
"I have no intention of trying to please papa. I am nearly 30 years old. I am not some dumb teenager wishing for her father's attention." Delphine crosses her arms. "But… I will use my resources to buy us a condo."
"Do your parents even know you're alive?"
"I will make sure they do. Right before I tell them I have a wife now. I will… I will have to introduce you." Delphine sighs. "I don't think they'll assume I'm dead. Unless DYAD contacted them. I don't think anyone really cared that much that I was 'dead'."
Cosima swallows, looking at her wife nervously. "On a scale of marching with signs protesting gay marriage being one and mild disappointment and microagressions being 10, how homophobic are they?"
Delphine bites her lip. "I...I do not know. They were not for same sex marriage when it was announced, but that is new in France. They… they are quite conservative, Cosima. But not really religious. At least my mother isn't."
"So… hey maman et papa, I have a wife now… is not going to go over well?" Cosima half winces. She notes the current listing Delphine is holding up on her phone is promising. But it can wait until they are back in Toronto.
"I do not care." Delphine sets her jaw. "I do not care what they think. They will get over it. And I will bring you to visit and they will see how amazing you are. And I think my brother will be fine. He won't care."
"No?"
"I think he's a little too old to tease me. But what is he going to say? Delphine tu manges de la tarte aux poils! I don't care." Delphine rolls her eyes.
Cosima giggles. "I am not sure what that means, but since it references eating I am going to assume…"
"Cunniligus." Delphine confirms. "And if he did, I would just say 'oui', and tell him he is immature."
"Way immature if he'd actually say it." Cosima agrees. "I mean, I don't have siblings I was raised with… so I don't quite get the dynamics. But...I think that is gross to even comment on." Delphine's brother saying anything about her genitals seemed way out of line to Cosima. But who the fuck even knew what she'd get. Delphine's family was still pretty much a mystery.
"Maybe." Delphine concedes. "I haven't spoken to my family in nearly a year."
"Maybe we both need to make phone calls. We do have news." Cosima points out.
"Later. I want to enjoy you." Delphine crawls forward on her knees, putting her phone to the side.
"No crêpes in Old Québec?" Cosima teases.
"Later. I promise. We'll go have a wonderful dinner, just the two of us." Delphine assures her.
"But I'm hungry." Cosima whines, and Delphine concedes.
"Alright. We will go for a walk, we'll get supper. And we'll enjoy the city."
And they do, hand in hand. The old buildings and cobblestones, the beautiful old port, they find a perfect resto and have a supper that is one of the best they've had on this trip.
She walks around in the evening, enjoying the sights, the buskers, the beautiful winding pedestrian streets.
"C'est beau." Cosima tells Delphine, leaning in to nuzzle her.
"It is. But not as beautiful as you. I like this city." Delphine tells her decisively. "We will have to come back someday."
"Someday." Cosima agrees readily.
Cosima wakes to Delphine leaning over her in the dark. A sound that sounds like a sob.
"Hey…" Cosima sits up, speaking softly. "What is it?" This has happened before, but not since they started their trip. And Delphine is crying, or sounds like she might be.
"Just old things coming back." Delphine brushes off her concern at first. "I woke up from a dream and am very relieved to be sleeping next to you."
"Good." Cosima mumbles from her comfortable spot on the king sized bed.
"I dreamed that I was still at Revival." Delphine grimaces. "I couldn't find you. I didn't even know if you were alive."
"Oh… that." Cosima yawns. "It's over, Delphine. It's all over." But it was a trauma, Cosima acknowledges, for both of them. It would sit with them both a long time.
"It is over. It was just a dream." Delphine affirms, more to herself than to Cosima.
"Just a dream, baby." Cosima sighs. "Come here… let's go back to sleep."
"I want you inside me." Delphine demands, as she begins throwing off the sheets. "I want you inside me now."
"Like… Right now?" Cosima rolls over on the bed.
"I keep thinking… of when we were apart. And how much I wanted. And how someday this...this could all be gone again."
"What did you want?" Cosima asks. "When we were apart?"
"You. You inside of me. You kissing me. You touching me. Seeing you in the lab and being unable to hold you was torture. Knowing you were making love with Shay was torture. Knowing I left you behind in Toronto was torture. Knowing you were dying was torture… But I ...I wanted you to live. More than anything. And I wanted to have you."
"OK. Let's ease up on the word torture." Cosima suggests, pulling her wife into her arms. She kisses Delphine but is quickly overwhelmed by her desperation. It feels raw, feels a lot like the first time they'd made love since the separation.
"Inside...Inside…" Delphine moves to straddle her begging.
Cosima obliges her quickly, gently easing into her one finger at a time. "Like this?"
"Oui...Oui…" Delphine closes her eyes and rocks above her, riding her fingers.
"I love you, Delphine." Cosima repeats. "I love you, Delphine." She thrusts up firmly with two fingers, finding her wife far more aroused than she'd expected.
"Je t'aime."
Delphine makes more low noises, looking down at her in the dark, still desperate, kissing fiercely as if she wishes to devour her and be devoured. As if they could never get enough. As if Cosima is all she could imagine wanting and it softens Cosima. Makes her want to give back.
"I will give you everything." Cosima sighs.
"You will?" Delphine bites her lip, rolling her hips again before gasping. Delphine begins to tighten around her but Cosima slows her movements, avoiding her wife's clit needing to draw this out. Needing to hold Delphine on the edge just a bit longer.
"And we never have to be apart again." Cosima promises. "We… we will be together until we're old ladies. I'll take the gene therapy. I'll grow old with you. We'll have everything together. We'll… we'll have a baby if that's what you want. I'll fist you, if you want me to. We'll buy a condo. We'll go anywhere. Anything. Have me."
Delphine cries a little and Cosima quickly works her to orgasm. The climax makes Delphine shudder and a rush of fluid drips down her arm, soaking a spot of the sheets and her admittedly skimpy pyjamas.
"Everything." Delphine breaths, leaning down to kiss her again. "We will have everything." Delphine works her way down the bed, pulling up Cosima's nightgown she lowers her face to meet Cosima's core.
"Yes… Yes… Taste me." Cosima begs, laying back as she lets Delphine take her. Lets Delphine show her how much she wants her. Craves her.
