J

The cell phone Lisa had bought for me was sitting on the kitchen bar when I walked out of my room. This was the third time this week she'd left it somewhere for me to find. This time it had a note attached.

I picked it up.

Think about the baby. You need this for emergencies.

That was a low blow. Smiling I picked the phone up and put it in my pocket. She wasn't going to give up until I accepted it. Today was my second doctor's appointment. I'd told Lisa about it on our third date Monday night. She'd been very determined to take me on dates all week. Last night I'd begged her to just stay in and watch a movie. She had made her point. Everyone in town had seen us together. I was sure they were all sick of seeing us together by now. The thought made me smile even bigger.

I slipped the phone back out of my pocket. I had forgotten to remind Lisa about today's appointment last night. Now I had a phone so I could call her. Her name was the first one on my contacts list under favorites. I wasn't surprised.

It rang three times before she answered.

"Hey, I need to call you back," Lisa's voice said in an annoyed tone.

"Okay but…" I started to say when she muffled the phone to talk to someone else. What was going on?

"Are you okay?" she snapped.

"Yeah, I'm fine but—"

"Then I gotta call you back," she interrupted me before I could finish then she ended the call.

I sat there and stared at the phone. What had just happened? Maybe I should have asked if she was okay. When she didn't call back in the next ten minutes I decided I'd better get dressed for my appointment. Surely she would call back before it was time to leave.

An hour later and she still hadn't called back. I debated on calling her or not. Maybe she had forgotten that I'd called. I could always borrow Jisoo's car and go to my appointment. On Monday when I'd told Lisa about it she'd seemed excited about going. I couldn't just leave her.

I pressed her number again. It rang four times this time.

"What?" Rosé's voice startled me. Was she at Rosé's?

"Uh, um…" I wasn't sure what to say to her. I couldn't tell her about my appointment. "Is Lisa there?" I asked nervously.

Rosé let out a hard laugh. "Unbelievable. She told you she'd call you back. Why don't you give her some breathing room? Lisa doesn't do needy. She's visiting with her family. My mom and dad are here and we're getting ready to go have a family lunch. When she is ready to talk to you she will." Then she hung up.

I sank down onto the bed. Lisa was having a family lunch with her sister, mother and my father. That was why she hung up on me? She didn't want me to know she was with them. Her family lunch came before me and the baby. This was what I'd expected but then she'd been so sweet and protective. Was I being needy? I wasn't a needy person but I had turned into one. Hadn't I?

Standing up, I laid the phone down on the bed. I didn't want it anymore. Rosé's hateful voice as she told me they were eating with her father taunted me. I grabbed my purse. I had time to walk down to the offices and borrow Jisoo's car.

I was sweating by the time I made it to the course offices. So much for looking nice for my appointment. That didn't matter really. It was the least of my problems. I walked up the steps and Darla met me as she was coming out of the door.

"You don't work today," she stated when she saw me.

"I know. I need to borrow Jisoo's car. I have a doctor's appointment in Destin that I… uh … forgot about." I hated lying but telling her the truth was just more than I could handle.

Darla studied me a moment then reached into the pocket of her slacks and pulled out her keys. "Take my car. I'll be here all day. I don't need it."

I wanted to hug her but I didn't. I wasn't sure she'd be comfortable with that kind of reaction to a simple doctor's appointment. "Thank you so much. I'll put gas in it," I assured her.

She nodded and waved me on. I hurried down the steps and climbed into her Cadillac to head toward Destin.

The drive over wasn't bad and I only had to wait fifteen minutes before they called me back to the exam room. The nurse was all smiles as she pulled out a machine with a small screen on it.

"You're only ten weeks along so to hear the baby's heartbeat we're gonna need to do an ultrasound. We should hear the heartbeat and see a little bitty baby in there too," she explained.

I was going to see my baby and hear it's heartbeat. This was real. The few times I'd imagined this day I hadn't imaged being alone. I had thought someone would be with me. What if they can't find a heartbeat? What if something is wrong? I didn't want to be alone for this.

The doctor walked in with a comforting smile. "You look terrified. This is a happy moment. All your vitals are good. No need to be so nervous," he assured me. "Now lay back." I did as he instructed and the nurse put my legs up in the stirrups.

"You aren't far enough along to do this externally and be able to see or hear the baby. We need to do a transvaginal ultrasound which means we need to go in vaginally. It doesn't hurt. You'll feel some pressure from the wand, that's all," the nurse explained.

I didn't watch them. The idea of him sticking a wand up me only made this worse. I focused on the screen.

"Okay, here we go. Easy, be still," the doctor instructed. I watched the black and white screen, waiting patiently for something that resembled a baby.

A small thumping sound filled the room and it felt like my own heart had stopped beating.

"Is that…?" I asked, suddenly unable to say anything else.

"That's it alright. Thumping just right too. Nice and strong," the doctor replied.

I stared at the screen and the nurse pointed to what looked like a little pea. "There he or she is. Perfect size for ten weeks."

I couldn't swallow past the lump in my throat. Tears rolled down my face but I didn't care. I just sat transfixed looking at the tiny miracle on the screen while his heartbeat filled the room.

"You and the baby are both doing excellently," the doctor said as he slowly pulled the instrument from inside me and the nurse pulled down my gown and gave me her hand to pull me up.

"A little blood tinged discharge is perfectly normal after this procedure so don't be alarmed," the doctor said, standing up and going over to the sink to wash his hands.

"Keep taking those prenatal vitamins and come back to see me in four weeks."

I nodded. I was still in awe.

"Here you go," the nurse said, handing me a small pictures from my ultrasound.

"These are mine?" I asked, looking down at the pictures of my baby.

"Of course they are," she replied with an amused tone.

"Thank you," I said as I looked at each one and found the small pea I knew was alive inside me.

"You're welcome." She patted my knee. "You can get dressed now. Everything looks great."

I nodded and wiped away another tear that had broken free and was rolling down my face.


L

"Where is she, Jisoo?" I demanded walking out of Jennie's bedroom holding her cell phone. She'd left it here.

Jisoo snarled at me and slammed a kitchen cabinet door. "The fact your sorry ass doesn't know where she is only makes me hate you more."

What the fuck was wrong with her? I'd had a day from hell. Telling my mom she had to get another house and then telling them I was going to ask Jennie to marry me had sent them all into a wild rage. Well, not all of them. Jennie's father had seemed fine with it. Rosé and my mother had gone ballistic. We'd spent several hours yelling at each other and I'd made threats I intended to keep. Rosé was supposed to leave to go back to school on Monday. She'd be gone until winter break and I was sure she'd end up in Vail with friends then. It was what she did every year. Normally I went too but not this year.

"I've had to deal with my mother and sister for the past four hours. Kicking Georgianna out of the house and informing her and Rosé I intend to ask Jennie to marry me isn't exactly an easy battle. So forgive me if I need a little help remembering where Jennie is!"

Jisoo thumped the bottle of water down on the bar and her angry snarl became more of a disgusted frown. I'd thought once she heard I was going to propose to Jennie that she'd be happy. Apparently not.

"I hope you didn't buy a ring," was her only response.

I was tired of her games. "Tell me where she is," I roared.

Jisoo put both her hands on the bar and leaned forward giving me a furious scowl I didn't know the girl was capable of. "Go. To. Hell."

Fuck. What had I done?

The door opened and Jennie came walking in smiling until her eyes met mine. Then her smile faltered. She was mad at me too. Not good.

"Jennie," I said as I walked toward her and she started backing up.

"Don't," she replied, holding up both her hands to stop me from coming closer.

She was holding something. It looked like pictures. What the hell did she have pictures of? Was it something from my past? Was she pissed about some girl I'd done something with once?

"Is that what I think it is?" Jisoo asked pushing past me and running to Jennie.

Jennie nodded and handed her the pictures. Jisoo covered her mouth. "Oh my God. Did you hear the heartbeat?"

At the words "heartbeat" my chest felt as if it had just been ripped wide open. Understanding dawned on me. Today was Thursday. It was Jennie's doctor's appointment. She'd called to remind me and I'd hung up on her.

"Jennie, shit baby, I am so sorry. I was dealing with my—"

"Your family. I know. Rosé told me when I called back. I don't want to hear your excuses. I just want you to leave." Her voice was flat. There was no emotion in it.

She turned her attention back to the pictures and pointed to something. "Right there. Can you believe that's inside me?"

Jisoo turned her hateful scowl from me to the picture and a soft smile touched her face. "It's amazing."

They were standing there looking at pictures of my baby. Jennie had heard his heartbeat today. Alone. Without me.

"Can I see?" I asked, scared she'd tell me no or worse, ignore me.

Instead, she took the pictures from Jisoo and handed them to me. "The little thing that looks like a pea. That's… our baby," she finished. She had been reluctant to call it our baby. I couldn't blame her.

"Was its heart okay? I mean, did it beat properly and everything?" I asked, staring down at the picture in my hand.

"Yes. They said everything was perfect," she replied. "If you want it you can keep that one. I have three. But I'd like for you to leave now."

I wasn't leaving. Jisoo standing guard wasn't going to stop me either. I would say all this in front of Jisoo if I had to but I refused to leave this condo.

"My mother and your father showed up unannounced today. Rosé leaves for college Monday. Mom thought I'd be leaving too so she was back to move in for the year. I informed her I wasn't leaving and she'd need to find another home. I also informed them that I was staying until you decided you wanted us to move somewhere else. That I intended to ask you to marry me," I paused and watched as her face paled. Not the reaction I was hoping for. "It didn't go over well. There was a lot of yelling. Hours of screaming and threats. When you called me I had just announced to the three of them that I was going to marry you. All hell had broken loose. I was going to call you back once I had my mother and Abe back in their car and headed out of town. I didn't want you to have to face either of them. But my mother doesn't go down without a fight. Rosé packed up and left for school this evening. She is refusing to ever speak to me again." I stopped and took a breath. "I can never tell you how sorry I am. The fact I forgot about today's appointment is unforgivable. I keep having to apologize to you. I wish I could stop fucking everything up."

"You weren't going to have lunch with your family?" she asked.

"My family? What? No!"

The rigid stance of her posture relaxed. "Oh," she said in a sigh.

"Why did you think I'd go to lunch with them? I wouldn't hang up on you to go spend time with them."

"Rosé," she replied with a sad smile.

"Rosé? When the hell did you talk to her?" I'd been with Rosé all morning.

"When I called you back. She answered and said you didn't have time for me because you were going to eat with your family."

My lying little sister better be glad her ass was headed back to the east coast because I'd go ring her neck if I could get my hands on her.

"You went to that appointment thinking I'd blown you and our baby off for them? Fuck!" I pushed past Jisoo and pulled Jennie into my arms. "You're my family, Jennie. You and this baby. Do you understand me? I missed something today I will never forgive myself for. I wanted to be there and hear the heartbeat. I wanted to be holding your hand when you saw him for the first time."

Jennie tilted her head back and smiled up at me. "You know it could be a girl."

"Yeah, I know."

"Then stop calling our baby a 'him'," she replied.

I was calling the baby a him. Smiling, I kissed her forehead. "Can we go back to your room and you tell me about the appointment. I want to know everything."

She nodded and glanced over at Jisoo. "Are you going to continue scowling at her or are you going to forgive her?"

Jisoo shrugged. "Not sure yet."