Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.
TERRY PRATCHETT, Mort
Chapter 3
I pulled on my glove to make sure it was on firmly as I started making my way towards the exit to the Inferno zone, a pulse from my quirk turning a light jog into something a lot closer to superhuman levels as I went over what little facts I'd been able to drag from the crossbow wielder.
First of all, the one with the hands all over him that is apparently the one behind this little invasion, goes by the name of Shigaraki. No clue as to the exact mechanics of how his quirk works but he apparently killed someone who was getting uppity with him by grabbing him somehow. So avoid being grabbed by the walking hand sanitizer commercial, check.
Secondly, the teleporter is called Kurogiri, which has to be one of the most uninspired names I've ever heard of.
Black Mist?
Really?
Only way it could have been worse is if his last name was 'teleporter' or something equally stupid.
My observation of his subservience to the newly named Shigaraki were spot on apparently.
No hints on how to fulfill my goal of punching him in the face sadly.
But the real issue that I have so far is the third figure.
My talkative friend said that it was Nomu, and that the ringleader for these shenanigans called him the Anti-Symbol of Peace.
Apparently the plan was to have this Nomu guy take on All Might.
Alone.
Which is giving me decidedly less than good feelings about confronting it in one on one combat.
My quirk is useful in many ways.
Letting me hit someone like I'm freaking All Might is not one of them.
I rounded the final corner and picked up speed, drawing closer to the door that would lead out of the Inferno Zone.
Come on Aizawa.
Please be okay.
"…SMASH!" I heard a familiar voice cry out before a sound like a hurricane going off met my ears, the cries of people being blasted off their feet from the force of the wind and the sound of some of the massive bulbs in the floodlights surrounding the arena shattering as a result.
There's only one person I know of among this group that can cause destruction like that.
Hang on little Green, I'm Coming!
I barged through the exit which would lead me back to the middle of the USJ again and felt myself freeze as I took in what I saw in front of me.
Or rather the world froze around me.
Midoriya standing stock still with his arm extended, clearly having launched one of the overly destructive strikes he was known for against Nomu.
Who appeared to have not moved so much as an inch as a result of it.
The teleporter Kurogiri standing in the background seemingly happy to watch events unfold.
Before him was the battered and broken form of Eraser Head.
I couldn't see if he was breathing.
And finally the ringleader Shigaraki was on the edge of the water, reaching out with his hand towards someone who was presumably a student.
Not enough time.
I'll have to get rid of him first.
Try and get the kids safe.
Then see what I can do about Aizawa.
I grit my teeth and pulled hard on my Quirk forcing it through my body, as I dropped low into a runner's stance.
This is going to hurt in the morning.
Superior Haste.
The world flashed white.
And I moved.
It's hard to explain precisely what it feels like when I invoke my Quirk to this extent but the thing that I always notice is the sound.
Notably the lack of it.
The only sound I hear is the sound of my heartbeat blasting away at my ears, steadily getting faster at each new step that I take.
I witness one of the eyes of the massive creature, Nomu, twitch my direction, its muscular form turning glacially towards me, lifting its hand away from Midoriya as it moves to swing a fist at me with enough force that it could probably level a building if it connected.
By the time that it had drawn that arm halfway backwards to throw said punch, my boots had already solidly crashed into the center of Shigaraki's chest, his body beginning to ponderously skid sideways away from the two students that he had been reaching for.
I landed on the stone floor and rolled with my momentum, my heartbeat currently doing a drum solo at this point as I felt myself begin to approach the ragged edge of my limits for this move, blackspots beginning to appear in the corner of my vision, I brought myself to my feet, one foot standing solidly on Nomu's right foot as I stepped into his swing to avoid the incoming blow that had steadily been gaining speed despite my own momentum.
With the last moment of movement I had left I tossed Midoriya back into the water that the other two students were still frozen in before I felt my Quirk give way.
I threw myself forward, tucking into a ball both to reduce my profile and to allow myself to roll towards my fallen ally by making use of my considerable momentum.
The thundering sound of my heart beating like a drummer halfway through a solo was joined by the sound of Shigaraki letting out a yelp of pain, Kurogiri letting out a cry and moving towards his fallen master.
And Nomu.
Nomu just stood there unmoving.
It was eerie.
I have quite literally seen statues that have displayed more signs of life then whatever this thing is.
I don't think I can even see it breathe.
Not the time.
I forced myself to stop rolling, made a series of elaborate hand gestures that ultimately served no purpose and then grabbed my broken comrade with my brightly glowing right glove. "Cure!" I invoked, and forced my quirk downward into Aizawa.
It had taken a lot of concentration for me to learn how to do this, and even now I could only really do it on very recent injuries.
Usually I was forced to do nothing more than enhance the patient's own innate regeneration, but that was pointless when the person was missing a limb, or had ruptured an organ.
If the organ couldn't regenerate normally, all my Quirk would do was make them die faster.
But despite all my efforts, I'd only been able to extend my use of this technique by a matter of seconds over the years, nothing further.
78 seconds.
If I could find you within 78 seconds I could help you.
But if the injury took place after that?
Then we had to go to plan B.
Aizawa's eyes flashed open and he looked around wildly before he caught sight of me.
"Party's not over yet Eraser Head." I cautioned, fighting through the upswell of exhaustion that would have had me staggering to the side if I wasn't already on one knee. "Ready for Round 2?"
Despite my efforts Aizawa still looked like he was ready to be thrown in an Emergency Ward as soon as possible given the blood was covering him, and his right arm looked like it was entirely limp, a large patch of the skin on the elbow entirely gone and revealing muscles that seemed to have undergone severe atrophy somehow.
Granted that was a lot better than the twisted noodle that both his arms had been before I'd used my quirk to fix them as best I could.
He stood, rotating his one good arm and wiped away the blood dripping from the wound on his forehead out of his eyes.
"I'm going to have to be." He replied but even as he said it I watched his legs shake from the struggle of that single movement.
I grimaced.
When I use my Quirk like that, it draws heavily from the reserves of the person that I'm healing as well as my own.
It had to, otherwise I wouldn't be able to manage it on my own.
Aizawa was lucky to still be conscious at this point, given the extent of his injuries that had been healed and the non-stop fights he'd been a part of since this attack had started.
I placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing on my Quirk again as a flash of white covered him for a moment. "I'm tagging in. You take the kids to the entrance and cover me from up there."
Aizawa seemed to be in half a mind to argue with me but decided otherwise, aware that his own condition in addition to the nearby students would render and fight with the Nomu a daunting prospect.
More so than it was already.
"Nomu!" I heard a voice cry out even as a coughing wheeze interrupt the shout.
I turned to see Shigaraki having staggered back upright, having pulled himself up from the trench that marked his passage from where I had kicked him moments ago.
Through the gaps of the hand clutched to his face, and the stringy white hair draping over his eyes I saw a single red eye ablaze with outrage, even as his other hand clutched at where my boot prints were showing up on his side.
"Kill the healer!" He screamed and I felt a cold chill run through me as Nomu's body went taut like a string at the villain's words.
Crap.
Please work, please work, please work!
The Nomu turned and threw itself forward at me, intent on following its master's orders to render me into meaty chunks.
The monstrous villain let out an animalistic sound of surprise as it rebounded backwards, one of its legs having remained behind on the ground and dragging it backwards.
Lucky shoe, you've done it again!
I let out a breath of relief at that even as I hustled Aizawa over to where Midoriya was….running towards me.
Seriously does this Kid not have any sense of self-preservation?
"Sir!" Midoriya slid to a stop before me. "Thank yo…" He began to talk but I didn't have much time for any pleasantries at the moment.
I shoved Aizawa into his hands and pointed up to the Entrance. "Get going. Now." I said shortly, doing my best to force my heartbeat to approach something similar to a human heart rate again instead of a racehorse.
Take a breath.
Midoriya thankfully didn't drop the injured teacher I had just flung at him, but it was near thing, only saved by the helping hands of the female student with the Frog Quirk, Asui.
"You're not coming with us, Kero?" She asked turning her eyes back towards the roaring giant that had been ordered to kill me.
Kurogiri hadn't made a move, thankfully, seemingly only concerned with taking care of the idiot I'd dropped kicked away from the students.
I wanted to shout at them, to scream at them to move, to get away, to know why the hell they weren't running already.
But I also knew showing just how nervous I was, just how close I was to the edge of my ability was the worst possible thing I could do at this point.
If Aizawa knew how little I had left in the tank at this point then he wouldn't leave.
The students might feel that they had to stay and help.
So, with an ease that only experience brought I up my shoulders and shrugged. "It seems my audience still requires some entertainment before they're satisfied." I sighed melodramatically going to grab my hat before remembering halfway through the motion that I wasn't wearing it. "So, I'm going to need to make this performance something special."
"But Sir!" Midoriya intervened, seemingly desperate to stop me. "They said that Nomu was made to kill All Might!"
I felt a shiver run down my spine at that.
Made?
Oh that is a very bad sign.
Despite my new feelings on the matter I rolled my eyes theatrically at him. "Well It's a good thing I'm not All Might then isn't it?"
I spotted movement in the corner of my eye and fought back a grimace.
The Nomu had forced itself forward, tearing part of its own leg off in the process like a rabbit caught by a snare.
Unlike a rabbit however it was quickly pulling itself upright as a new foot regrew itself from the bloody wound in the space of a few breaths.
It regenerates.
Of course it regenerates.
Why is it that everything can heal better than I can!
Am I joke to you, Quirk Jesus?
"Now clear the stage students," I continued on dramatically, as if I wasn't a few minutes away from passing out if I had to keep drawing on my quirk like this.
That and it feels so stupid only wearing one shoe.
I know I'm not off balance because of all the practice I've done in similar attire in anticipation of situations just like this one but I still feel like an idiot.
I turned fully to face the Nomu, soft white energy flowing through me as I felt the Haste take hold once more.
I the muscles throughout my body shriek their torment as I felt the tears I'd accumulated from speeding around all over the place making themselves known to me.
At one time, it would have almost been overwhelming to me.
But pain is practically and old friend at this point.
His visits are rarely welcome, but he's never one to let me fall asleep on the job.
"Time for the Grand Finalé." I muttered as I brought my arms up, hands open wide as I readied myself.
Fists weren't going to help me here.
Given how he was able to react to me during a Superior Haste something tells me I wasn't going to be able to be outrun him at my current level.
So that left this option.
The being known as Nomu let out a bellowing roar and leapt at me, one of it's arms seeming to swell in size as it bought a fist down like a sledgehammer trying to knock in a nail.
My god, he is a fast one for something that big!
If I hadn't had my quirk running through me something told me that I would have been chunky salsa at this point.
Instead I managed to interdict my left palm with the blow and watched as the blow ricocheted off it, the force behind the blow sending my hair waving and causing my eyes to squint reflexively from the wind and dust that came in its wake.
Normally this would be where my opponent would clutch at themselves in agony, consumed by both pain and confusion as they tried to figure out "What the Hell just happened!?"
Nomu in direct contravention of all this proceeded to throw another punch at me.
And another.
And another.
Ever played that old game Tetris?
Imagine playing that game and going for the best score that you can.
Seems simple at first.
But as time goes on, and the music ramps up, the pieces start coming faster and faster and your struggling to see the piece, judge where it should go and placing it, spinning and moving the piece accordingly.
Move to fast and you'll place the piece wrong and ruin your chance at that perfect score.
Take too long and it won't matter, the choice will be taken from you.
The world's most dangerous game of Patty Cake that I was currently taking a part of was a lot like that, with my hands barely moving into position to stop in place to prevent the freight train that was Nomu from punching straight through me, before having to move again to block the next attack that seemed to be materializing an instant later.
And he was getting faster with each blow he threw at me.
My arms shook.
My lungs heaved.
I fought against the sweat that was dripping into my eyes, refusing to blink because the moment I did was going to be the moment that Nomu's fist was going to plow through one side of my rib cage and out the other one.
The sound of the Anti-Symbol of Peace's fists crashing off of my hands was like the sound of a heavy caliber sniper rifle being fired again and again, the slight trickle I felt running down one of my ears a sign that the high pitched ringing noise filling my thoughts was not something I'd been imagining.
Focus!
Don't flinch.
Wait for the right moment, and then act.
If I have faith, it'll appear.
If I lose hope, I'll die.
No pressure Kaito.
I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye, and felt despair grasp at me.
There were still more of those thugs hanging around.
They might have been nothing to a professional hero, but I'm fairly certain Aizawa was unconscious at this point, and the kids were weighed down by his immobile form.
Not good.
Then to make matters worse, a few of them had the bright idea of moving towards me, readying projectile quirks to shoot me in the back.
As much as I'd love to say I could dodge that, my hands were quite literally full with trying to keep Nomu from tearing my head off at the moment
What do I do?
What can I do?
A sound like a cannon going off behind me echoed throughout the USJ, followed by the audible clang of the heavy outer doors of the USJ falling to the ground.
I felt the stirrings of something other then despair, spark into existence.
Nomu paused in his assault of me and backed up, taking up a protective position around Shigaraki.
That's a relief at least.
Few more seconds and that would have gone very bad, very quickly.
"It's fine now!" I heard the familiar voice declare to the world as I watched the number one hero in Japan and arguably the world come to a stop at the top of the stairs and tear off his tie with a single movement. "I am here!"
Despite myself, I almost started relaxing at those words.
But that was one of the reason's he's been number one for this long.
That merely by entering a fight and making that declaration, he can bring hope and the near certainty of victory to what had previously been a life or death struggle.
I'll say one thing though.
I would not want to be the guy that All Might was directing that expression towards.
"I've been waiting Hero." Shigaraki responded, seemingly pleased at this latest interruption "You trash of society."
All Might took off his suit jacket and threw it to the side.
Then between the time it took for it to land he was beside me, the villains that had been surrounding me previously collapsed around me.
I hadn't even seen him move.
"Kanetsuki-san are you alright?" He asked, his soft voice in conflict with his thunderous expression.
God, I was tired.
I could feel that sweet Siren call beckon me, the backlash of my Quirk readily making itself apparent with every passing second.
But the curtain hasn't fallen yet.
The show must go on.
I bit back a groan as I waved a hand back and forth, not willing to let the pain roiling through me be display in any fashion. "I've had worse days." I remarked truthfully, making the most of the time that our opponents seemed to be freely giving us. "But I've got to say, I just don't feel right without my hat."
That was one other thing.
I couldn't use my Quirk to assist All Might in this fight.
Maybe if he needed some urgent healing or something, but with his condition it was doubtful.
We'd learnt about poor interaction between out powers the hard way.
When I Haste someone they move faster.
Sounds like a good thing right?
Well if that person's Quirk has a time limit, it goes by faster too.
Think of it like bumping up the quality of a video or game your playing on your phone.
Sure it looks better, probably even plays better too.
But unless your plugged into an outlet your going to run out of battery a lot faster than if you just went with regular quality.
It had been a hell of an introduction to see the Symbol of Peace go from blurring around the training field to skidding across the floor as an emaciated skeleton coughing up blood.
It's honestly best if I avoid fighting next to him all together.
Speaking of whom.
"Carolina…" All Might blurred forward, both arms crossed in front of him to unleash a devastating cross attack on the leader of this little outing.
With a word from Shigaraki, Nomu interposed itself between the oncoming hero and the villain, its arms outstretched as if it was going to try and catch the blow.
"Smash!" All Might roared, the blow coming down like a falling meteor, the force of it sending the pool behind Nomu into a frenzy of activity.
But the Nomu hadn't moved an inch.
Gulp.
The muscular being seemed to smile at All Might before both its arms came together to try and bear hug him, but the Symbol of Peace smoothly dodged out of the way retaliating with a haymaker to its exposed brain that almost had me wincing in sympathy at the sight of it.
Again, no effect.
All Might dodged out of the way of Nomu's blow again, the fight now moving away from me as the two titans of Strength battled it out, All Might landing strikes to seemingly no effect and Nomu unflinching but at the same time unable to land a hit.
While all this was happening I was doing my best to force my heart rate back down, doing the breathing exercises I was since long accustomed to as subtly as I could.
Every second counts.
So let's go through my options for opponents.
Option one: Nomu.
I'd spent what felt like an hour but probably only amounted to about a minute doing my best to not be reduced into a fine red mist by the Anti-Symbol of Peace and was perfectly secure in saying that there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to go one on one with him and expect to win.
I think I'll leave that one to All Might.
Option two: Kurogiri.
Ah yes, the teleporter. The one whose Quirk causes mine to be about as useful as a plasma tv to an Amish village.
Despite my desire to punch said punk in the face for what he said earlier, as tired as I was and dressed as I was, that wasn't likely to happen any time in the near future.
Hard pass.
"It doesn't work because of shock absorption." Shigaraki said gleefully, the anticipation coming off of him something that was clear to see. "In order to d…"
He was cut short as the playing card I had thrown sliced a thin line across his cheek.
"Talking isn't a free action asshole." I said arm still extended from the throw. "Why don't you lend a hand somewhere else?"
Gotta admit, the fact that it actually connected was mostly luck at this point.
Sadly didn't have the rest of my deck with me.
Because it's in my outfit.
Which I'm not wearing.
God damn dry cleaning.
Lucky I always keep one up my sleeve.
Hey, you never know when you'll need to pull an ace.
Which leaves me with contestant number three.
Who seems to have decided that I'm actually worthy of his notice now and has come after me himself.
That or he's still mad about the fact I dropkicked him so hard he made his own trench.
I'd say fifty-fifty odds on either side taking precedence.
"Take out the healer, and the tank is useless." Shigaraki declared as he moved towards me, his hands flexing menacingly as he closed the distance between us. "Strong defense and Utility, but healing doesn't matter if I my DPS is high enough."
Jokes on you kid, I couldn't pull off another heal right now if my life depended on it.
Not that I'm going to let him know that.
I moved forward, bouncing forward on my toes, dancing to that inaudible rhythm that played in the background.
"A volunteer from the audience! What's your name little boy?" I asked mockingly as I danced around him, throwing out quick jabs with my left to keep him on his toes, taking note of whenever he reached for my hand and using a quick pull of my quirk to pull it back faster then he could grab it.
I was running on fumes at this point.
I'd used a lot of energy last night ensuring I could get there in time to be of any use, and even more doing emergency triage before I'd collapsed into bed in the early hours of the morning.
At least I'd been able to catch a bit of a nap on the car ride back to my apartment.
But even if I couldn't rely on my quirk to bail me entirely out of this one, I've still got a few things going for me.
I stepped back out of the range of another grasping hand thrust out towards me before my own fist zipped forward, the left jab sending his head rocking backwards as it cracked into the disarmed hand that served as his mask.
For one I'm real lanky.
Long legs.
Long arms.
Handyman here can't be more then 5'9" on his best day.
I'm a lot taller then that.
And secondly, I learnt a long time ago how to take care of myself without my quirk.
The Association had included such training for all their little pet projects due the existence of quirks like Aizawa's being out there.
Some learned how to use guns.
Others learned how to use swords or gadgets.
Me?
I danced out of the way of another lunging attempt by the close range quirk user and landed another jab, sending my gloved left hand to crack cleanly into his chin, sending his head rocking back with the recoil.
I had my ass kicked on a regular basis by a grumpy old fart who dragged me to his gym after he found me picking the wallets out of the pockets of the punks who'd tried to mug me because they didn't like the way I looked.
And maybe because some other thing I said about their mother.
It was a long time ago, and probably their fault.
I tsk'd as I withdrew my hand.
That stupid hand mask of his isn't letting me get a good enough connection.
And the fact that I can't use my Quirk on it in these brief moments of contact tells me way more then I ever wanted to know about the authenticity of the hands attached to his body.
Normally I'd be willing to go for the body or the arms but given what a brief touch did to Aizawa something tells me that I don't want to risk him touching me with his hands.
The pale skinned villain in front of me seemed stunned for a moment, one hand going up to touch his mask and readjust it, mumbling something under his breath too quietly for me to hear it.
Then he lunged forward without warning, what had once been erratic movements now swiftly becoming those of a berserker.
Another jab was snapped out and he seemed to step forward eagerly into it, uncaring of the possibility of me hitting him provided he could get his hands on me.
It was a bold move.
And it was probably going to work.
I heard Kurogiri give out a shout in the background as something exploded and the sound of the conflict behind me intensify as a result.
I backpedaled, weaving out of the way of his grasping lunges as I took stock of my options.
No backup.
No gear.
No outfit.
Missing one shoe.
How long has it been since I used my Quirk?
I danced around the fallen form of one of the villain's that All Might had defeated in the blink of an eye, taking care to ensure that I didn't get twisted up and risk tripping in front of the guy who could probably kill me if he got his hands on me.
At that thought, a plan formed in my head.
Now there's an idea.
Had enough time passed for to pull off one last trick for the day?
Take a breath.
I inhaled sharply.
Let's find out.
Instead of retreating I stepped forward this time, lancing forward with a left jab towards the approaching villain.
The blast of air pressure that sent me sliding certainly helped sell the illusion, although it was a very close call between me pretending to fumble and actually fumbling at this point.
As I went to pull it back, I faltered not having to fake the feeling of the pain rushing down my arm from a torn ligament.
It's easy to pretend your in pain if you're not pretending.
Shigaraki mouth opened into a wide, cruel grin at my blunder. His right hand leapt up at my lagging left and his hand snapped shut like a vice around my hand, his fingers interlocked with my own.
"You lose!" He crowed victoriously before he froze, staring at the gloved hand still holding his in place.
"Ta-da." I said with a deadpan voice, smirking at the sudden look of realization that sunk into man's face. "And for my next trick…"
I pulled my left hand out of the glove currently pinning Shigaraki in place and stepped in to the left, ensuring that I had Shigaraki's own body between me and his still dangerous left hand.
As tempting as it was to try and go for the knockout blow to the face, I couldn't disregard the risk that his free hand posed to me.
Instead I stepped forward, I let out a roar as I slammed my right hook as hard as I could into the villain's side, using my whole body to power the punch.
I felt something break beneath my hand as the body blow landed and was mostly certain it hadn't been my hand.
Or at least it hadn't only been my hand.
There is a very good reason that boxing matches take place with people wearing gloves instead of just wailing on each other with your bare fists.
If you don't protect your hands properly your just as likely to break your own bones instead of your opponents.
As I pulled back from the collapsing Shigaraki I stumbled backwards as the floor shook like an earthquake was going off, a plume of smoke extending up from where last I saw All Might and Nomu.
Normally I'd have more to say about that.
But I was a little more concerned with Shigaraki at the moment as he swung towards me with the hand that had been held in place by my glove moments ago.
That was close.
If I hadn't stumbled…
A quick glance caught sight of a pile of dust where he'd been standing.
I felt myself grimace.
Two options are before me to explain how that happened.
Option one: I'm completely tapped when it comes to my Quirk right now, and the man child in front of me got a lucky break.
That's bad.
Option two: whatever Quirk that Handsy over here has that lets him disintegrate things with a touch operates at a higher level then mine, and can destroy things that by all reasoning should not be possible to destroy.
That's far worse.
Shigaraki staggered for a second, one hand coming up to clutch his side and what was hopefully a broken rib or two before he steadied himself and moved towards me again.
Oh for God's sake just fall over already!
What is up with this guy's pain tolerance?
It's insane.
Can't pull off a trick like that any time soon without some time to recover.
Same story with the Haste.
And if I can't pull those off, there's no way I can use any of my other techniques in my current state.
Come on Kaito, think!
"PLUS ULTRA!" The bellowing roar of All Might filled the air.
And then?
Chaos.
A shockwave of pressure exceeding all the ones I'd been fighting through to date crashed into me from the side, sending me sprawling to my side as the whole of the USJ seemed set to shake itself into pieces at this latest outrage.
Thankfully Shigaraki had been caught just as off guard and was struggling to pull himself back to his feet.
A quick glance up revealed the hole that had been blasted into the roof of the USJ.
As well as the spinning black form rapidly growing literally hitting the clouds as it careened into the distance.
Holy Shit.
Well.
That's Nomu dealt with at least.
Now for the other two.
I turned back towards Shigaraki only to see him booking it back towards the center of the arena, where All Might and his own teleporting means of escape was waiting.
Oh no you don't.
I bit back a curse as I started doing my best imitation of a run after him, although it would admittedly be better described as a hobble at this point.
As I came back to the scene I had to bite back a much fouler curse.
All Might had beaten Nomu alright.
But given the look of him right now, he's going to revert back to his other form if a stiff wind looks the wrong way at him.
Shigaraki was standing by Kurogiri, but was looking decidedly unsettled compared to the confidence he'd been displaying up to this moment, one of his hands scratching almost manically at his neck.
"What's wrong?" All Might asked loudly, not moving from his position half obscured by the smoke. "You said you'd 'clear' this or something right? Come and get me if you can." He challenged the hand wearing villain, his focus entirely upon him.
He's got one hell of a poker face I'll say that much.
At least when he's being a hero.
Surprisingly when it comes to poker itself he's not as good.
Not Mic bad per say, just no where near as good as the bluff he's pulling off right now.
Shigaraki seemed to recoil back at that, almost overcome with terror.
But right when he was about to fold, the unimaginatively named Kurogiri leaned down to whisper something.
Right then.
Entrance stage right.
"You know running away before the act is over kind of takes away from the whole experience you know?" I remarked causally, as I strolled forward towards All Might talking care to step on the back of one thugs head who looked like he might have been having the idea to join in and slammed it solidly into the pavement. "It's okay if your scared, Rhapdophobia is a lot more common then people think it is."
I continued my languid looking stroll, which in reality was about as fast as I could manage without risking falling over at this point, walking past Midoriya, Explosion boy, Spiky red head and…oddly familiar ice boy.
How do I…
Not the time.
"For my final act, I'm going to make you disappear." I muttered groggily, staggering to one side before I found my feet again.
Time for good old fall back plan number 12.
Baffle them with bullshit.
Time to draw on one of the most important parts of being a magician.
And a Hero for that matter.
Let's see if I can still bluff like I used to.
I started chanting nonsensically, experience long having taught me that as long as the sounds were done in a clear rhythm, it didn't really matter what I said.
My hands moved through the air, flickering through hand signs as the white light that signified my Quirk use took effect, starting dim but slowly getting brighter as my chanting continued.
Alright then, insert appropriately cliché line…
"This is the dawn of the end of days…"I started dragging my hand in a circle before me, the path they left illuminated by a brightly glowing circle.
Insert spooky circle now…
Thankfully the intensity of said brightness managed to disguise just how terribly drawn said circle was.
Ominous phrase there probably invoking some kind of higher power…
Let's go with a Goddess this time.
Demons are so overdone.
"May you find peace in the embrace of the Goddess." I intoned dramatically, creating the best approximation of runes I could manage with my hands shaking this badly.
That actually looks better than I normally manage.
Not sure that's a reflection of how bad my eyes are at the moment or how shocking my handwriting is usually.
Food for thought.
Shigaraki having clearly seen me at this point was no longer trying to get back out of Kurogiri to fight me if the expression of terror on his face was any indication.
Well look at that, looks like somebody remembered my Hero name.
Only took me literally shoving this down his throat for him to realize it.
And judging by his reaction, he's at least somewhat aware of what that means in gaming terminology.
Alright then.
Let's finish them off.
I slammed my hands together with a loud clap as if I was praying, the white field of flickering energy intensifying as I drew on the last of my power. "Holy!" I declared with my best approximation of a booming voice as I…did my best impersonation of an overcharged night light.
Yeah, what do you think this is a video game?
Of course I can't use Holy!
But they don't know that.
When the light faded both Kurogiri and Shigaraki were standing before me with their arms upraised, as if to block the no doubt deadly spell that I had thrown at them.
Shigaraki lowered his arms away from his head his expression swiftly transitioning from confusion to understanding.
Well that's me fresh out of ideas.
The villain blurred forward with a leap that I had no way of dodging.
The sound of a gunshot echoed through the USJ like distant thunder and Shigaraki pirouetted backwards, a gout of blood flying up as what was presumably a bullet slammed into the villain's shoulder.
I felt a smile spring into existence across my face.
"Are they here?" All Might asked behind me even as I turned towards the entrance proper.
The sound of the gun firing twice more filled the air, the smoking revolver held firmly in the sure hands of Snipe.
"Sorry, everyone! Sorry we're late!" The unmistakable high-pitched voice of Nezu filling the Arena despite his tiny form. "I gathered all who were immediately available."
Hooray for backup.
That means I won't have to do any more work.
That is sounding real appealing at this point in time.
"I, Tenya Iida, Class 1-A representative, have now returned!" the self named Tenya bellowed out flanked by the Nezu and at least 10 other teachers.
I had to bite back a laugh at that.
Yup.
That's definitely your brother Tensei.
There was a loud "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" that heralded Mic's appearance among the reinforcements the power of his quirk sending the thugs who had been thinking of rushing towards them tumbling to the ground, crying out in pain as they clutched at their ears in a vain hope to block out the incredible amount of noise.
A series of explosions began to steadily make their way towards us as the united force of UA Academy began making short work of the assorted villainous individuals between us and them.
"Aw man, they're here." Shigaraki complained, in the same kind of tone a child might complain when being told it's time to pack away their toys. "It's game over now. Shall we go home and try again Kur…"
Whatever he was saying was cut short by another bullet slamming into the same arm only lower down on the limb itself rather than the shoulder. He staggered to the floor as two more bullets slammed into his knees, hopefully blowing out the kneecap if there was any justice in this world, before the black mist that was Kurogiri's quirk interposed itself between the remaining rounds seeking to strike him.
Snipe my friend I owe you a drink for that one.
I felt more than saw the pull of Thirteen's Quirk directed towards the hidden foes but by the time it had actually reached them all that was left behind was a few stray stands of black fog, the teleporter and his apparent leader having made their escape.
Well.
We didn't die.
Yay.
I turned slightly and caught sight of the four students still standing there, seemingly unsure of what to do.
With All Might right in front of them, a thin cloud of smoke the only thing obscuring the secret of the Symbol of Peace from discovery.
Come on Kaito, what are you going to do to stop that?
Right, I'm a teacher, time to go act like it.
"You four!" I called out directing their attention towards me, some of them jumping in surprise at being addressed. "Are any of you injured?"
I heard a variety of sounds with a negative connotation.
That's nice.
"Good. Make your way back to the entrance to meet up with your class mates. Your bus will be waiting to take you back for your final class for the day." I said matter-of-factly, delivering the line as if I was commentating on the weather.
Never let them see you sweat.
Even if you are.
Especially if you are.
"But Sir!" The Spiky Redhead protested, making his way towards me. "You need a…"
"The only thing I need, is for you four to get to the entrance, right now." I cut the young man off, not having any of this. Granted normally I would be all about the fine and noble art of shoving work I don't feel like doing onto juniors and then taking all the credit for it.
But given the fact that only half of All Might is inflated at this point I really need them to get going.
"I'm perfectly fine." I blatantly lied to said student taking several causal steps away from them and towards my destination.
I was saved from having to continue any further deceit towards the children as the floor between us rose up seamlessly to create a wall with the students on one side and myself and the now completely deflated All Might on the other, the smoke that was obscuring his form finally dissipating.
"We want to make sure that all the students are safe, so please gather in front of the gate." The gravelly tone of Ishiyama echoed over the wall, explaining just how that had happened. "We will deal with the injured here."
Oh you champion.
Problem solved.
I ignored the rest of the conversation as I slumped forward, staggering towards All Might with what little movement I could manage.
"You all right?" I slurred out, my vision going black for a moment before I found myself almost on the floor if not for a great deal of painful pinwheeling on my behalf.
Toshinori was down on one knee, sitting in one of the many craters that now pockmarked the floor of the USJ. "As you say, Kanetsuki-Kun, I've been worse." He said with a broad smile before he inclined his head in my direction. "Thank you for taking care of them all before I arrived."
I flailed one arm in the limp approximation of a wave towards him. "Don't mention it. Part of the job." I replied raising one hand to wipe the soot and sweat out of my eyes. "Thank you for getting here. Things were looking a bit tight there for a second." I admitted continuing to stumble forward and past the number one hero.
He chuckled at that, coughing up a bit of blood as he did so but I continued forward.
Couldn't do anything to heal him anyway until I had a chance to sleep.
"Kanetsuki-Kun?" All Might inquired behind me, clearly wondering just what I was doing.
"One sec, got to get something." I replied lazily over my shoulder approaching my original destination.
I stumbled over to where the pile of blood and flesh that had once been one of Nomu's legs remained and reached down to push the bloody mess aside with a groan as I felt my aching muscles express their displeasure with that last move.
But I didn't care.
I reached down, brushing aside the discarded meat and pulled out my right boot, absently flicking a particularly clingy piece of flesh off with a shake.
Good old lucky shoe.
All these years, and still going strong.
Granted he's got a few cousins to replace the other shoe which never seems to last as long, but old Lucky?
He's going to outlive us all.
I fell onto my ass next to the pile of flesh and after several failed attempts managed to pull on my boot.
There.
That's better.
Now then.
Time for a nap.
And with that I stopped fighting against the exhaustion that was consuming me and it all went black.
AN: Well, we made it to the end of the fight!
Leave a review and let me know what you thought.
Cheers!
