It was hard for Dean to be stuck at the safe house with Sam, while Bobby went on ahead to Minnesota. It was hard for him to realize that while Bobby would be getting the chance to see Caleb, something that Dean would have given his right arm to have been allowed to do, he was stuck playing babysitter to his brother. Not that he minded that role necessarily, it was just the timing of it that was getting on his nerves.

It wasn't Sam's fault that Caleb was in jail. That was on him and not his little brother, and it wasn't Sam's fault that Dean was dealing with the ugly fallout of Bobby's decision to not take him to see their once again jailed guardian. But it was still difficult for Dean to reconcile in his mind, as he tried to make the most out of a pretty hopeless situation. Bobby promised that he would be back by late afternoon at the latest, and so he tried to hold onto that general timeline, as he and Sam went about their day.

There wasn't much to do except watch TV, and in Sam's case, rope Dean into writing down homework problems for him to work his brain with. While Dean secretly envied his brother's drive for academic success, he would have much rather spent his day training or working out, or a combination of the two. It wouldn't be like that for him, not until Caleb was firmly ensconced back in their lives to do their daily training rituals. Truth was, he could work out with Bobby, and would probably get the same sort of satisfaction that he always got at the conclusion of a successful training session, but it wouldn't be the same without Caleb there.

"When is Bobby going to be back?" Sam asked, as he walked into the living room where Dean was lounging on the sofa, trying to lose himself in the sports magazine that had been left lying on the coffee table.

"Soon," Dean replied absently, as his fingers shakily turned the pages of the magazine, as he tried to focus on the hot models glaring up at him from the pages. "What time is it?"

"I don't know. Late?" Sam supplied, hoping that would get his distracted older brother's attention.

Sighing, Dean momentarily abandoned his reading material to glance up at the clock. "It's almost four, Sam. He should be back really soon."

"Really, really soon?" Sam pressed, knowing that would push Dean's buttons and hopefully get the attention that he was sorely craving.

"Yes! Quit bugging me, dude. Not a good time."

"You're a grouch," Sam huffed. "It's not my fault that-" he tapered off, knowing that what he was about to say would have the potential of completely undoing his big brother, and he wanted to avoid that at all costs.

"It's not your fault what?" Dean said softly, as he slowly turned his green eyes on his frozen little brother. He almost felt sorry for him. Ever since Caleb had been arrested, those around him had been paying the price with his attitude, even though he couldn't help it, even though he was completely heartbroken and devastated.

"Nothing."

"Sam, what?"

"It's not my fault that Caleb is in jail, and ever since that cop told us that they took him, you've been really mean to me, and to Bobby. It's not our fault!"

Dean nodded, sucking in a deep breath to halt the incoming flow of tears, when they pinched and pricked the corners of his eyes. "I know that, Sam, but try to cut me a little slack, okay? This is," he paused momentarily, as a torrent of the waterworks rained down his cheeks. "This is really hard."

"I know-"

"No, you don't. I mean, you do, but you don't have this weight on your chest like I do. It's my fault that he's in there, and nothing anyone can say will change that."

Even though Bobby had hammered it into his head that it hadn't been his fault for Caleb's arrest, there was just too much evidence backing up his depressing claim. Caleb had never wanted to run, had never wanted to resort to that, and only when Dean had really pushed him, had he decided to do it.

Now he was in jail.

Denied bail.

And once again, separated from he and Sam. It was the worst time to be separated, with Yellow-Eyes still out there, and their safety uncertain. It figured that something completely catastrophic would happen then, when everything was so unclear and confusing.

"Dean, it's not your fault that Caleb is in jail!" Sam said, his eyes widening in complete astonishment at the way his brother was thinking. "Is that what you think?"

"It's not what I think, Sam," Dean said, as he pushed himself up from the couch, turned and started walking down the hall toward where the bedrooms were located. "It's what I know."

"But-but how? And would you stop walking for five seconds?" Sam demanded, as they finally reached Dean's bedroom. "Please?"

"There's nothing to say, Sam. I pushed him to run," he said, pointing to himself. "We did, and now he's in lockup for kidnapping. Do you understand that, Sam? He could go to prison for the rest of his life, and it'd be on me."

"Kidnapping?" Sam whispered, clearly not having been privy to that information before then. "Prison?"

"Yeah, Sam," Dean said, as he leaned against the wall, and slowly sank down to the floor. "When he decided to run after I begged him to do it, that was considered kidnapping because he was ordered to turn us over to CPS. Now, if he gets convicted of that charge alone, it would probably be a life sentence. Do you get now why I've been acting the way I've been?"

"Yes," Sam whispered, after a moment, as he anchored his body down to sit beside his brother. "I don't get it, though. Why was it considered kidnapping when we went with him on our own?"

The kid was smarter than Dean gave him credit for; attempting a smile on his face, he ruffled his hair jokingly, while he considered an appropriate way to word his answer to him. "It's not that simple, Sam," he said, his voice tight. "Caleb doesn't have custody of us anymore, and when he ran the police considered it to be kidnapping."

It was ridiculous even to him, he couldn't even imagine what was running through his brother's mind, even if he was so incredibly intelligent for his age. The idea that their guardian, someone who they both adored and loved, was locked up for the most horrible of reasons, and for something that he had to do.

"But can't Caleb just tell them that the person that kidnapped me is still out there?" Sam asked quietly.

"He could, but then they would ask why we didn't report it to the cops. You don't understand the cops and the way they think, Sam. To them, Caleb's the enemy, someone who was trying to defy them and go against what they wanted."

"But he's not like that-" Sam started to say, struggling to understand why these people would believe a lie, why they would think the absolute worst of Caleb, when none of it was true.

"Yeah," Dean said, shaking his head in disbelief. "We know that. Bobby knows that. But they don't, and they don't care to, either."

"Can we see him?"

"I don't know. Bobby's checking with him today."

He doubted that Sam would be allowed to go, and he wouldn't want him to go, either. It was horrifying enough to imagine walking into that horrible place, and having no choice but to leave him there. He couldn't imagine his little brother, who had still miraculously retained some of his earlier innocence, walking into the same jail and seeing Caleb like that.

"About us going to see him?"

"Yes."


By the time Bobby finally rolled into the driveway, it was almost dark out. Dean didn't care about that; he cared about what his visit with Caleb had produced, and how he was more importantly, and what he thought of him going to see him. Even though he wanted to more than anything, he had his doubts on if Caleb would feel the same way he did. As he anxiously twisted his hands around each other, waiting for the older hunter to walk through the door, he was also scared.

It killed him to think of Caleb in a place like that, and he wasn't sure he was emotionally stable enough to hear the details of Caleb being incarcerated. It had been the most horrific shock of his life when the cop had told him that they had arrested him, and now he couldn't imagine being informed of the torment that he was going through because of the unfairness of another.

"Hi," Bobby said, as he walked into the kitchen where the boys had both firmly planted themselves. Sam, because he was mostly glad that Bobby was finally back, and Dean, because he was trying to get up the courage to ask him about Caleb. "How was everything?"

"Good," Dean said with a forced shrug. "Didn't cause too much damage."

"He almost burned the house down!" Sam said, with an hysterical laugh.

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did!"

"What happened?" Bobby asked, trying to follow the rapid-fire accusations that Sam and Dean were hurling at each other.

"He said that I almost burned the place down," Dean said with a roll of his eyes.

"Did you?" Bobby prompted with a raise of an eyebrow.

"No! Okay," Dean conceded. "I almost did. But it was only because I was trying to make grilled cheese for someone," he said, looking back at Sam, "who wouldn't stop hounding me."

"I was not!"

"And then it started smoking," Dean said, laughing once. "It never actually caught on fire."

"Well," Bobby said with a chuckle. "I'm glad crisis was averted for the most part. I got the stuff that you boys wanted."

"Thanks," Dean said, as he accepted the bag that Bobby held out for him. It wasn't things that he was desperate to have, clothes and some stuff from the bathroom that he needed, but it was still nice to get some more comforts from home.

"Is that everything?"

"Yeah."

"So," Sam said, once he had finished looking through the things that Bobby had brought for him. "Did you go see Caleb?"

Sam had voiced the question that Dean had been most anxious to ask, and in a way he was grateful that Sam had been the one to do it instead of it being him. It was horrific to think about, let alone verbalizing it aloud.

"I did," Bobby said, nodding.

"How-how," Dean said, shaking his head in frustration as he tried to get those impossible words out. "How is he? Is he okay?"

"Physically yes," Bobby said. "He's doing alright. He wanted me to tell you both that and that he loves and misses you both."

Sam smiled, though Dean could tell that the reality of what he had confided in his brother had started to sink in. For so long they had kept the truth about how serious Caleb's situation was from Sam, to protect him from the ugly truth about it. Now he knew everything that had been shielded from him for so long.

"What about emotionally?" Dean pressed, as Sam snuggled closer to him, obviously seeking out comfort from his big brother in a situation that was so scary for him.

"He's doing alright," Bobby said softly. "Some days are harder than others for him, just like you."

Dean nodded, biting down on his thumb. "Okay," he said, fighting to keep a lid on his emotions not just for his sake, but for his brother's. "Good. I'm glad that he's okay." That counted for a lot where he was concerned.

"Can we see him?" Sam asked, speaking up and asking the dreaded question that Dean both wanted and didn't want to hear. In many ways, he wanted to be allowed to visit Caleb, but he wasn't sure if he could handle the emotional ramifications of such a visit.

"Right now, Sammy," Bobby said, as he pulled Sam into his lap, threading his fingers through his dark hair. "We don't think that it's a good idea for you to see him like he is right now."

"Why not?" Sam demanded, as a single tear slid down his rosy cheeks. "I miss him."

"I know you do," Bobby said. "And he misses you. He wanted me to tell you that, and that he loves you. But right now, you might see things that would upset you."

It was much different to see jails on TV, and not having to associate them with a real life situation. The reality would be much harder for Sam to grasp: restraints on the prisoners, and the most ridiculous of rules that you had to abide by to see your friend or family. It was something that Sam, at nine, wouldn't be able to fully understand.

"Like what?" Sam pressed, clearly not ready to drop the issue.

"You don't want to know," Dean insisted, as a single tear rained down his cheek, despite his best efforts to hold them in. It felt like he had been crying for days, ever since Caleb's latest arrest, and he hated that feeling it gave him. "Believe me."

He knew what went on behind those prison walls despite Caleb and Bobby's best efforts to keep that part hidden from him, and there was no way he wanted that exposed to his little brother.

"But I don't understand-"

"Seeing Caleb in the jail," Bobby began carefully, catching the hesitant look Dean gave him. "It wouldn't be the same as seeing him like you're used to. In the jail, you can't hug them or have any physical contact with them. It's not allowed."

"Yeah," Dean said, shaking his head in disgust. "Because it's not like they don't need a damn hug sometimes, or we don't need a damn hug once in awhile."

Out of all the ludicrous rules that the jails imposed, that was the one that bothered him the most. If he went to see Caleb, he would have to reconcile himself to the fact that he wouldn't be allowed any physical contact with Caleb, and for him, who was always used to hugging him and play hitting him, that would be hard.

"I can give you a hug," Sam said, who until then, had been quietly absorbing all the information that Bobby had given him.

"Thanks, Sam," Dean said, as he allowed his brother to give him a gigantic bear hug, before hesitantly reciprocating it. "I appreciate it."

"Anytime," Sam said, like it was no big deal. "I do charge, though."

Bobby laughed, shaking his head in amusement, as he tickled Sam's sides. "You're getting some of your brother's sense of humor."

"Some of my awesome sense of humor, you mean?" Dean said, as he playfully pushed his brother off him. "Get off me, brat."

"Fine," Sam said, in mock indignation.

"So what did Caleb say about me going to see him?" Dean asked, although he fully expected to hear the worst possible news of no, and he was trying to mentally prepare himself for that fact in the few seconds it took for Bobby to respond to him.

"He gave you a choice," Bobby began. "You can go see him, but he wanted you to remember how good it felt to see him when he got home last time, and how there weren't any restrictions on how much you two could hug each other, and whatnot."

"So I can go see him-"

"Yes, but he wants you to carefully consider everything that I just told you."

Dean had no idea what he would do with the choice that he had been given by Caleb. It was impossible to make. Either stay at the safe house and endure another hellish three months without him, or go to see him and have to suffer through the potentially devastating consequences of that visit.

"Okay."


Laying on his back on his bed in his darkened room, Dean absently scrubbed a hand over his eyes, as he tried to consider what he would do with the choice that Caleb had communicated through Bobby. It was a relief to know that Caleb was trusting him enough to make such a huge choice, but it also put another burden on his shoulders. In a way before, it had been nice to have the situation taken out of his hands when it had concerned seeing Caleb, but now that he was suddenly faced with the choice, it was mind-boggling. His first inclination was to, of course, go with Bobby to see Caleb, but there were other factors to consider first. First and foremost, he knew that they couldn't take Sam to the jail to see him. It would be too confusing, and too upsetting for him to have such a devastating view of the guardian he adored.

And second, there was no way that he would even entertain the idea of leaving Sam alone just so he could ease the mind-numbing pain that he was going through at being separated from Caleb. If Sam hadn't been a thought, he would have most likely gone ahead and done the visit, but he couldn't with their current set of circumstances.

"Hey, kid," Bobby said, as he stopped by Dean's room. "It's getting late."

"I know, thanks."

"What's on your mind?" Bobby asked, as he stood in front of the prone thirteen-year-old.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean asked, as he propped himself up on his elbow.

"I guess. Can't guarantee I'll be much help, but you can go ahead and take a shot."

"I'll keep that in mind, old man," Dean said with a smirk. "Anyway, if you had to make a choice, and you weren't sure what to do, what would you do?"

"I need that question edited," Bobby said, "so it's not as vague."

"Fine," Dean said with a sigh. "If you were given the kind of choice that...Caleb is giving me, what would you do? A large part of me wants to see him, but then another part of me is nervous about it."

"Well, I would have all the facts before I made a choice like that."

"Yeah," Dean said, batting away more tears, as he closed his eyes, focusing on the deep breathing techniques that Caleb had taught him to control any negative emotions he felt coming on. "What kind of restraints is he in?"

That was the part that was the hardest for Dean: imagining seeing Caleb in any

kind of restraints. It was something he knew he would have to face if he went ahead with the visit.

"He has handcuffs on."

"In the front?"

"Yes."

"Nothing else?"

"He has a waist chain on that sort of connects the cuffs, but that's it."

Dean nodded. "Okay."

"What are you thinking now?"

"I want to see him, but we can't take Sam, and there's no way I'm leaving him here alone."

They had had too many close calls with YED already, and he couldn't, in good faith, leave him there to deal with any demons that might just be able to make it over the salt lines, and the iron parts that surrounded the house. It was a safe place, but not safe enough that he would leave Sam there alone.

"So...?"

"I can't," Dean said, as tears fell down his cheeks, as he closed his eyes. "I want to see him so badly, but I can't leave Sam here alone, and I don't think I can handle seeing Caleb like that."

"I'm so sorry, Dean," Bobby said, as he pulled him into a rare hug.

"It's not your fault. It's not Sam's fault."

"It's not yours, either."