Dean hung the phone up in a perpetual state of shock. It didn't seem possible to him that, for the first time in their lives, they would have to live through the agony of seeing someone they loved go on trial for something that he didn't even do. Shaking his head slowly in disbelief, he let his body fall back against the counter, and tried to breathe through the torrent of panic that he could feel bubbling close to the surface. Gritting his teeth, he fought past the tears and managed to keep them away. It was not easy, but he refused to let himself cave to the out-of-control feeling crying gave him. Plus, he had to be strong for Sammy.

The pain he felt at Caleb's absence was so strong now that he couldn't imagine what the pain would be like if the worst possible outcome happened, and he was convicted of the most serious offense of kidnapping, some fantasy charge that the prosecution had drummed up to make the other charges stick. The preliminary hearing had all been about making sure there was enough evidence to seal Caleb's fate, but Dean knew that in order to win the case in front of the jury, they would have to prove intent, they would have to prove that he acted maliciously, and not out of the love and concern that his family knew was the truth.

It made Dean sick to know that people honestly thought he was a monster, someone who would hurt he and Sam, and then kidnap them and take them out of the state in an attempt to flee from prosecution. For a second, it made Dean long to be able to tell them all about the secretive world of hunting and the lives they saved. Of course, it was a pipe dream. The prosecution would never believe it, and would throw all of them into jail.

"Dean?"

Turning his back to Sam in an attempt to regain control over his fractured emotions before they got the best of him, he waited until he was relatively sure he was under control, before turning back to face his little brother again.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"What does all this mean?" Sam whispered, as he took a seat at the counter where Dean had placed himself in a rare moment of solidarity, as he tried to process what the trial would mean for all of them.

"What does all what mean?" Dean asked, although he knew what Sam was talking about, and it clawed at his heart in ways that his brother would have no idea of.

"The stuff with Caleb," Sam answered quietly, perhaps sensing what a touchy subject that was for his big brother. "He said that he was going on trial. Why?"

"Because a judge thought that there was probable cause the prosecutor proved."

"That he abused us?" Sam asked quietly.

"And that he kidnapped us." That was the one charge that Dean was the most concerned about. It would be easier for a prosecutor to prove that when Caleb had fled after being ordered to turn them over to CPS.

"So when does he go on trial?"

"In a few weeks."

At least they wouldn't have to wait as long for the trial. In some ways, it would be a relief to know what was going to happen before too long, but in most other ways, Dean was completely unprepared for it. Pushing away from the table, he made his way to the fridge and grabbed a comforting soda. Right about then, he would have given anything for a case to sink his mind into. It had been awhile since their last one with the Mormo.

"Are we going to go?" Sam asked, after a minute of silent contemplation.

"To where?"

"The trial."

"Caleb and Bobby probably won't want us there."

"Why not?" Sam asked, quirking his eyebrow in that adorable way of his when he was questioning something that didn't quite make sense to him.

"Because," Dean said with a scoff. "The prosecutor will be saying crap that'll make me want to jump over the railing."

"Like, lies?" Sam wondered, looking down as he tried to work through the rare show of sadness that he was feeling. Usually he was such a bright and optimistic kid, but ever since Caleb had gone, he had begun to see just how dark and cruel the world could be, and how much loss surrounded his family.

"Yeah," Dean said, as he distracted himself from answering further by taking another drink of his soda. "Lies." It wasn't even the DA's fault only knew what they could see with their own eyes, and that was that Caleb had directly defied a court order, and had committed a serious crime in the process.

"And what happens if he gets convicted-"

"You know what."

Bobby chose that time to make his appearance in the kitchen. His face spoke everything that the two boys were feeling without any words being exchanged. Even if he wasn't one to express his feelings the way Caleb did, Dean knew he was struggling with the hits that kept coming for his family.

"Hey," Bobby said, as he walked into the kitchen. "What are you two talking about?"

"Caleb's trial," Sam said softly, as he looked at the devastated expression on Dean's face.

"That will be hard," Bobby agreed, as he placed a hand on the crook of Dean's arm. "Dean, what are you thinking about all this?"

"Not a thing," Dean said flippantly, his defense mechanism against the unbearable agony he was going through right then.

"Come on, Dean."

"Bobby, don't," Dean said, closing his eyes. "Not now."

"Okay," Bobby agreed quietly, not wanting to push it with him when he was so crushed. "Later, though, okay?"

"Fine," Dean said, his voice breaking. "I don't care."

"He's upset about Caleb," Sam said, his own eyes downcast as he looked at Bobby. "I am, too."

"I know you are," Bobby said, opening his arms for Sam when he wanted to give him a hug. "Come on Dean, join in."

"No."

"Dean-"

"You said later, Bobby," Dean reminded him. "It isn't later yet."

"Okay," Bobby said softly, as he rubbed Sam's back soothingly. "I think we might go back to Minnesota in a little bit."

"For the trial?" Sam asked, as he traded unsure looks with Dean.

It had been awhile since they had been back to Minnesota, not since before Caleb's arrest, and while it would be nice to return home to the sanctuary and familiarity of home, the purpose would definitely serve a more solemn note.

"Yeah," Bobby said, "I think it would be good instead of me leaving you two rugrats here alone every single day." And it would also save him the trouble of commuting several hours each way every day, when he and the boys could stay in Minnesota for the few weeks the trial would happen.

"Yeah," Sam said in agreement. "I can see my friends, then."

"Maybe. Dean, what do you think about going back?"

Dean shrugged; he knew that Bobby was trying to engage him and get him to open up about his feelings, but he wasn't falling for the bait yet. It was too painful to verbalize the absolutely gut-wrenching, and impossible.

"Dean, come on," Sam urged. "Won't it be nice to go home for a little bit?"

"Maybe," Dean finally conceded, his voice cracked.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," Bobby said carefully, sensing how fragile the situation was.

"It's fine."

It would be nice to be closer to Caleb, even if they were still cut off from each other.

"Okay."

Wanting to avoid being cornered by Bobby wanting to get him to release some of the dam of emotion he was feeling, he did what came natural to him and shut himself off in his bedroom as long as he could. There, he could peruse the newspapers he had gotten hold of, and hope to find another job to busy his mind with. It was clear Bobby was out of his territory when it came to getting him to open up, but he was trying to fill the void Caleb had left and it was not possible.

"Dean?" Bobby called through the closed door. "Caleb's on the phone."

"Okay, be right out."

Straightening up and making sure to brush as many of the tears away as he could, Dean finally emerged from his dark room, and took the phone from Bobby. Waiting until Bobby had left the room to give them some privacy, he took a deep breath before putting the phone up to his ear.

"H-hey," he said, not able to hide the break in his voice.

Hey, kiddo. What's up? Caleb said softly.

"Crap," Dean said bluntly, as he brought two fingers up the bridge between his eyes and nose to squeeze more of the waterworks from his eyes.

I can sympathize. What's going on specifically, though?

"It's just hitting me really hard. Like, earlier today when you told me, it didn't hit me as hard. I think I was in shock or something."

I remember when the judge handed down the decision, and I remember not being able to feel anything for a few seconds, and then I could feel myself crying a little bit, and it hit me like a ton of dump trucks.

Dean nodded, gritting his teeth in a last ditch effort to gain control of himself. If there was one person he could lose it with, it would be Caleb, but he knew it wouldn't help anything. It wouldn't grant Caleb his release, and it wouldn't stop the trial from happening, either.

"Yeah. Bobby said something about going back to Minnesota for your trial."

I know, he and I talked about it this morning. What do you think?

Dean shrugged, as he cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear. "I want to go back. I still have good memories of home, but it's just everything there lately, has been a dumpster full of crap."

Minnesota had been his home for many years, and even though so much bad had recently happened, Dean still had had many years where it wasn't like that, where everything was calm and uncomplicated.

It was good, wasn't it? Caleb mused softly, and Dean could almost see the smile on his face.

"Yeah."

I talked to Sammy a few minutes ago. He's pretty excited about going back.

"Yeah, I bet," Dean said, shaking his head in amusement. "He wants to see his friends."

That's what he said. He seemed pretty intent on that.

Dean nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I know. So what else is Dawn saying?"

Nothing new, really. We were just going over our strategy, and seeing if it has a chance of holding up in front of a jury or not.

"So what comes first? The opening arguments or jury selection?"

The jury selection comes first, and then right after that, the trial starts.

"Oh, okay."

Listen, I got to go. Can I call you tomorrow?

"Sure."

Alright, I love you.

"Yep. Love you, too."