Here's a funny one. I hope you enjoy it, and don't be afraid to send me requests. Also, please review. It helps me out a lot. Thanks! ~HeartQueenVivaldi
Office Prank Wars
Little-known fact about Levi Ackerman: He's an incurable prankster. This might come as a surprise to many, because he's so serious, clean, and anal about most everything, but it's true. No one knows that better than the people who spend the most time with him, namely Hanji, Erwin, and of course, Eren. The most recent string of pranks from the raven had been particularly bad, causing some frustration with the man.
Eren had been involved, but this time, as Levi's accomplice rather than his victim. He was just grateful he wasn't on the receiving end this time around. The first two bad ones were set up over-night. Eren was in charge of the broad-range one, while Levi spent his entire night in Erwin's office, chuckling to himself every few minutes. The pair returned home in the early hours of the morning to try and get a few hours of sleep before Levi would have to return to the building.
Levi walked in that morning early, as usual, but this time with a purpose beyond being the first person to get the morning coffee from the machine. He sat in his office with his cup of coffee on the desk, booting up his computer with the door open, waiting for the first victim. That first victim ended up being Hanji.
The bespectacled woman entered the floor from the elevator with her usual coffee from the café down the street and started cackling. Posted at least once on every wall was a cut-out of Levi's face. Some of them big, others little. They could be found many places throughout the day. Eren had done his job well, posting as many pictures in as many random places as possible: the bottom of every toilet seat, on at least 3 toilet paper rolls, the lid to the coffee maker, computer screens, desk drawers, cabinet doors, windows with the blinds down, inside binders, books, shelves, and literally anywhere that would cause a little jump or surprise. Levi found great satisfaction from watching people jump or chuckle throughout the day at seeing his face. The best part was, they would still find random Levi faces months after the original prank.
The other reason Levi kept his door open that morning was to listen for Erwin to come in. The taller man's office was the one next to Levi's, and the raven could hardly wait to hear the curse words that were bound to fly. Finally, Erwin walked in the office, right on time as usual. He rolled his eyes at Levi as he walked by, headed to his office. Once Erwin had passed, Levi quickly got up from his seat and poked his head out of his office to see Erwin standing in the open doorway to his own office.
The blonde's jaw had dropped, and he didn't seem to believe what he was seeing, because he rubbed at his eyes a few times before looking up again. Levi had spent all of those hours rolling almost every item in Erwin's office in plastic wrap. His chair, computer, mouse, desk, shelves, and even many of the items on his shelves, including his framed photo of him and his new little husband, Armin. "Are you shitting me?"
Levi retreated back in his office and closed the door behind him. He had just sat down at his desk when the door opened again to a fuming Erwin. "Levi." Said man looked up from his blank computer screen and snickered. "You will help me unwrap all of that."
"All of what?" Levi asked, playing innocent.
"You know what." Erwin asked, pointing in the direction of his office.
"I assure you, I don't. Perhaps Hanji does?" Levi returned to his screen, pulling up his charts that would be due in a few days.
"No, Levi. I'm not an idiot. I know it was you. Now, come help me so we can get back to work." Erwin left the office, and Levi sighed, following close behind.
He walked into Erwin's office seconds after the taller man and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. He turned it into a cough. "Whoever did this is brilliant."
Erwin rolled his eyes, "get to work, Levi." He started to rip the plastic wrap off his chair, and Levi retreated to his office. "Where are you going?"
"Scissors," Levi replied. He returned a few minutes later with a set of scissors, as promised, and cut through the wrap on the computer and the desk. He helped Erwin with that, put the scissors down on the desk top, and smirked at Erwin before retreating to the door. "You know, the best part about pranks is that I don't have to help clean up if I don't want to. You can function now with that, and if you want the rest done, you can do it yourself." He closed the door before Erwin could protest.
Levi returned to his own office, closed the door, and chuckled to himself randomly throughout the day. After that, the pranks only escalated from there. Levi attached a blow horn to the bottom of Hanji's chair while she went to lunch one day. When she returned, he stood outside her office, waiting for her to sit down. He first heard the loud blast from the blow horn, then Hanji's surprised scream, and finally she shouted his name. He went back to his office, chuckling.
Then came the pig. He posted a picture of a pot-belly pig on eBay and put down all of Hanji's contact information for the sale. The bespectacled woman received phone-calls for days about a pig she knew nothing about. She had a hunch it was Levi's doing, but had no proof this time around. Levi would simply sit back and listen to the stories she would tell about the people who would call her and laugh to himself in private.
The last straw came in the form of more animals, but this time, live ones. Eren actually came up with the idea for this one, and Levi pounced on it, recruiting his husband for the actual prank. They would have to somehow get ahold of two flamingos and a Komodo dragon. They found some through a local company that traveled to schools to teach about different exotic animals. Eren called them and explained what they wanted to do, and these people were all too happy to comply. They wouldn't even charge them for it. If they got a laugh from it, that would be enough.
It happened for the first time when Erwin went into the restroom. Levi called in the team to bring in the Komodo dragon. They quietly opened the door and set the lizard free in the bathroom. Levi had set up hidden cameras to see the reactions he would get from this and was so glad he did. The lizard nudged at the back of Erwin's heel while he stood at the urinal. Levi didn't know the blond could move that fast. He looked down, saw the massive creature, and jumped. Levi caught a good eye full of some things he really didn't need to see but couldn't help the laugh that escaped, along with the laughs of the other three people staring at the monitor, including Eren. Erwin backed into one of the stalls and climbed on the toilet, trying his best to get as far away from the animal as he could.
He wasn't the only victim either. Hanji went to the bathroom only a few minutes after Erwin had been saved and entered the stall. Levi sent the team in, this time with a pair of flamingos, and left them in there. When Hanji came back out of her stall, she jumped and nearly fell back into the stall. She looked around and eyed the birds, disbelieving. She flapped her arms with one of the birds, more excited than anything, but surprised none-the-less.
After the latest series of pranks, Hanji and Erwin had decided they had enough. They, along with a few others, met after work one day to decided what Levi's punishment should be. He deserved a taste of his own medicine.
Hanji spoke up, "we should get Eren in on this. He's been pranked by Levi, too, I'm sure."
"No Hanji," Erwin objected, "Eren has been his accomplice more than anything lately. He would probably just tell Levi what we're up to."
"Okay, but I bet he can give us information anyways. Give me a minute." She pulled out her phone and dialed Eren's number. The young man picked up on the third ring. "Hi, Eren. What are some things Levi's hates?"
"Um… Why?" Eren asked, wary of what would happen. He looked over at Levi, who was sitting next to him.
"No reason. Just curious. You know me." Hanji laughed it off.
Eren smiled a little, knowing where this was going, but going along with it. "hang on a second, and I'll let you know." He stood up, walking into his and Levi's room and closing the door. "Sorry. I had to get away from Levi. Why do you need to know what he hates?"
"I told you. No reason, just satisfying my own curiosity."
"Okay, fine. He hates anything dirty, snakes, and, well… sticky notes… I don't really know why though…" Eren trailed off, not letting on that he knew what was going on.
"I got it." Then the phone clicked, and the dial tone rang in Eren's ear. He laughed and returned to his spot on the couch with Levi.
"What was that about?" The raven asked.
"Oh, nothing. Just Hanji being Hanji. Let's get back to our movie." He snuggled into Levi's side and pressed play. Whatever would happen in the next few days, Levi deserved it, and Eren knew it.
Sure enough, Levi got a taste of his own medicine. He walked into the office a little later than normal. He had been stopped by Petra at the front desk, and she relayed a bunch of information to him that he didn't need, and he couldn't break away. Already irritated with the day, Levi couldn't wait to retreat into his office and shut himself in all day until he could return home to snuggle with his cute little husband.
Life wasn't about to be that kind, however. Levi opened the door to his office and a great big pile of balloons came tumbling out. Someone had to have spent all night long filling these balloons, and they filled the office to the brim with them. He would be popping balloons for hours. Erwin came out of his office and laughed at Levi's pained expression. "You know, Levi. The best part about pranks is that I don't have to help clean up if I don't want to. That's what you said isn't it? Good luck." He returned to his office and Levi waded through balloons to get to the knife strapped to the bottom of his desk.
Once he had it in his hand he started furiously popping balloons with a vigor that could only come from anger. Eren called him about half way through, and Levi answered with a snap, "What, Eren?"
"Whoa, what's wrong?" Eren asked. He had called to give Levi some good news, but that would have to wait a little bit.
"Erwin filled my office with balloons, and I've been doing nothing but popping balloons since I got here. I was already in a bad mood to start, and now I'm just pissed. What do you want?" Levi didn't have much patience to deal with more shit at this point.
"Well, I can't say I feel too bad for you. You are constantly pulling pranks like that on everyone else. Anyways, I called to tell you I got the job. I just got the call." Eren said, excited to tell his husband about his acceptance to the job he had been wanting so bad.
"That's great, Babe. I'd love to hear all about it, but later, okay. I need to get back to cleaning up this mess so that I can get to work, or I'll be here all night catching up." Levi answered, realizing Eren was right. He kind of deserved this.
"Okay, good luck. I love you."
"Love you, too." He hung up and went back to popping balloons. It took him nearly three hours to pop all of them and then clean up the empty shells. Three hours he could have spent working on far more important things.
He closed the door to his office and locked it, not wanting to be disturbed. He worked furiously to catch himself back up, skipping lunch and typing as fast as he could. He was lucky he didn't have as much to do that day as some other days. He finished at his normal time. Exiting his office at the same time as Erwin and Hanji walked by, he got into the elevator with them.
They both tried to talk to him, but he was hungry and in a very bad mood, so ignored them completely. The silent treatment remained in place all the way out of the building and across the parking lot until Levi spotted the spot where his car was supposed to be. His car was still there, but no longer a sleek black. It had been completely covered, bumper to bumper, in sticky notes. And Levi hates sticky notes. He refuses to use them in his own office, and they were currently stuck to his entire car.
Levi stopped, not even wanting to approach the vehicle. He dry-scrubbed his face, frustrated beyond belief. He side-eyed Hanji and Erwin who looked beyond proud of themselves. "Seriously? I hate you two."
Erwin only laughed. "You asked for it. Your pranks have been so horrible lately, we decided you needed to be given a taste of your own medicine. Have fun cleaning up." Hanji and Erwin stood there laughing, and Levi felt like crying or screaming. He didn't care which.
Levi marched over to his car furiously and started to rip sticky notes from the driver's side window. He refused to look over at his two friends. He didn't think he could without punching one of them in the face. Was this how they felt every time he pulled a prank on them? If it was, he was ready to vow not to pull any more pranks ever again.
He unlocked the car, hoping that the damage hadn't spread to the interior of the car. He opened the door and sucked in a sharp breath. A giant snake was curled up on his seat, but it was so big it didn't fit in only one seat, and barely fit draped over both front seats. Levi turned to run and ran face first into a familiar broad chest.
He wrapped his arms around Eren's waist and buried his face in between his pecs. "I hate today. I hate it. I just want to go home."
"Welcome to our life. We don't mind the pranks once in a while, Levi. We actually get a good kick out of them, but sometimes they get to be a bit much. Do you see that now?" Hanji asked. Levi nodded. "Okay, and also, some of your pranks are hilarious. I loved the flamingos, and the faces all over the office. That was funny, because it didn't take up all of our time. I know Erwin got a kick out of his Komodo dragon, too. But some of these pranks really do just go too far."
Levi pulled away from Eren's embrace to see Erwin pulling the snake from the car. A pair of men were walking toward them with a snake container, and Erwin helped them put it away. Once the animal was out of sight, Erwin patted Levi on the back. "Now, why don't we clean this up, so we can all go home, hm?"
Levi nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, guys." Levi was home within the hour and got his cuddles from Eren, who laughed at him periodically throughout the night over the whole mess that Levi created for himself.
