Hello, lovely people! Anyone else done with "Midnight Sun"? This book has been one intense rollercoaster of feelings and it left me completely heartbroken by the end - and I completely love it. Edward already was my favourite character in the Twilight universe, but now? Damn, I love his character even more! I could write an essay about this, but I know this is not why you're here for.
Posting a chapter in the midst of everyone reading "Midnight Sun" might not be my smartest decision so far, but here we go! I hope you enjoy it!
The hate humans held towards Mondays never made much sense to me, although I had heard countless explanations for it throughout all the years I had been alive. But then that fateful Monday came and I realized that I hated Mondays just the same - maybe even more than the average human.
The house was quiet that day, with Kate and Tanya having gone hunting. Bella had been engrossed in reading 'Crime and Punishment' (the irony had not escaped me) ever since they left, while Alice was next to her, doodling dress designs and randomly going through the visions in her head.
Somewhere in the kitchen, Carlisle and Esme were discussing all the paperwork that needed to be done to separate ourselves from our obligations in Cardiff, while Emmett and Rosalie were upstairs, playing an updated, much more complex and much less logical version of chess.
As for me, I was standing next to Jasper on the sofa, waiting for the afternoon news journal to begin.
"Are you all right?"
Jazz had made a habit out of checking up on me. My moods had been driving him crazy and I couldn't blame him for it. It took him every bit of concentration to envelop me in as much calm as he could.
"It's hard to say these days. Charlie called again today, you know?"
"Yes, I've heard something. And?"
"We talked for a while. He is worried about the accident. And of course he wants us to visit."
"Does he have any idea we left?"
"Not yet - he is convinced that we'll meet up with him one last time before going to Cardiff. But now that that plan is out of the question, I really don't know..."
"Poor man, he needs closure..."
"Sometimes a clean break is better than closure."
On the TV, the news journal had started. They were talking about a hurricane getting dangerously closer to the East Coast, after having wreaked havoc on some islands in the Atlantic.
"Maybe we should've faked her funeral after all."
Before I could respond, the visuals on the TV changed and the news anchor began talking about the Wilsons. The search continued and for the first time in the last week and a half, the investigators declared that there might have been a homicide at play. I tried not to dwell on that - Alice and Emmett had done everything right and there was not a single incriminating thing left behind. There was no way the disappearance could have been traced back to us. However, I didn't know how much of my peace of mind came from me and how much from Jasper.
Later on that day, Bella was still reading, but now she was in my arms, my fingers playing mindlessly in her hair.
"You seem to really like that book," I noticed.
"Rodion's mind simply speaks to me."
"I wish I could say the same about your mind," I grumbled, not really hoping for a response.
She lifted her eyes from the book to look at me.
"Five minutes of this," - she gestured towards her head - "and you would give anything to find the way out."
I laughed, ruffling her hair gently.
"Five minutes of that, Bella, and I would be the happiest man in the world."
I loved seeing the corners of her mouth lift up in a swaggering smile - she seemed happier today, as if she had found some unexpected serenity. I had no idea how long that would last, but I decided to cherish it while it was still there.
"I was thinking of maybe taking a walk later on," she said. "How does it sound?"
Like the first real chance to be completely alone with her in a while. I tried not to let my enthusiasm get the best of me.
"We haven't had one of those in a while, so it sounds absolutely perfect."
"Not the only thing you haven't had in a while," Emmett's thoughts shouted at me from upstairs and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
I was fine with waiting until Bella no longer felt so guilty that she couldn't allow herself the slightest shot at enjoying life. I could understand her grief. Back when I had my rebellious phase, I had to deal with the very same feelings after returning home to Carlisle. For months on end, I could barely look him in the eye while having a conversation. I allowed the guilt to macerate my brain, to consume my sanity, making no effort to resist it.
But as much as I could understand where Bella was coming from, I craved her worse than an addict craves his favourite drug. My hands were always on her, constantly finding excuses to hold her waist, to caress her hips, to trace the contour of her face, to pull her closer for a kiss. It didn't help that I could tell just by breathing her scent in how aroused she was as well.
And just as she was reaching out to me for a kiss, I heard it. A string of mental slurs from everyone else in the room traversed my mind in a second. Lost in my bubble with Bella, I hadn't paid much attention to the TV in the background. When I looked at the screen, Elijah Cochran was right there, surrounded by microphones.
"My wife wasn't puying much attention at the moment, as she was quite tired after the party, but I was, and I can confirm what I saw," he said, looking at one of the reporters. "There were two women and what seemed to be the Wilsons."
"Did you see them fighting?"
"No, I am pretty sure the Wilsons were dead by the time we passed by. One of the women was standing on top of them, crouched in a weird position."
"Why didn't you stop, mister Cochran?"
"It was pretty late and the whole scene seemed rather… aggressive. Supernatural almost. It was as if that woman standing on top was… I don't know, eating or something."
"Why are you coming forward with this story now?"
"It seemed like the right time. I was afraid to do it earlier."
"What made you change your mind?"
"My conscience, ma'am."
The frame then changed to a reporter making a summary of the case, leaving me completely speechless.
"They must have received the check," Alice thought. "But what changed their minds? I'd seen them both accepting it before sending it to them… This makes no sense."
"If the Volturi were keeping any kind of tabs on this story, we are officially screwed."
"Thanks for this, Edward. This really is the icing on top of a very bad cake."
In the end, Carlisle was the one who turned off the TV and spoke first:
"This doesn't look too good for us."
"Damn right," Rosalie agreed.
"This investigation can't go on forever though," Esme said. "They will give it up eventually, since they won't find anything."
"That depends on how stubborn our witnesses are, my dear."
"Their descriptions did us no favours," Carlisle didn't voice this particular thought.
Among all that noise, all I could hear was Bella's silence. The quietness of her mind was loud and clear. She looked around the room and I couldn't tell if she was scared or angry. Or both.
"I still can't believe they hadn't accepted our offer..." Alice muttered.
"Did they even receive it?" Rosalie demanded.
Alice didn't respond at first. Her mind was unrolling the threads in the big clew of visions she had been having. I could see along with her the vivid ones, the ones that we were both all too familiar with: Elijah receiving the check and shutting up; Elijah deciding to send back the check; his wife finding it before him and questioning him about it, before agreeing to keep it.
It was there, at the very periphery of her mind, that I saw it: a blurry vision - transparent almost, too fragile to have caught her attention or mine when she first had it. It was Elijah, exiting his home and checking his mailbox. Finding nothing.
My eyes met Alice's in an instant and I saw there all the terror of my own.
"They never received it," she whispered, still looking at me.
"As small as it was, how could I miss it?"
"Alice, you have to keep an eye out for the Volturi," Carlisle said, unwilling to throw the blame on anyone. "They're keeping tabs on the few covens that exist - and I can imagine that such news can travel faster than we can control."
"I am on it."
The next hours felt like a prison. Between sneaking up on Alice's mind and trying to convince Bella that our family was - at least for the time being - safe, I didn't have much time to deal with my own thoughts. And when I did, I couldn't escape the torture chamber that was Rosalie's mind:
"We're ruined. Completely ruined. And we wouldn't be if it weren't for her."
To be honest, it made for an interesting contrast to Esme's thoughts, that were so full of unending hope:
"This is not the end of the world and we're going to be all right."
As the day came to an end, the tension grew thicker. Tanya and Kate had not returned - and maybe it was for the best. This way, we didn't have to pretend that we weren't in over our heads.
It was a little before midnight when that particular Monday became the worst in my existence.
I was trying to find some solace by playing the piano in the hallway. The music flew around me, weaving a sorrowful tapestry in the air. What began as Bella's lullaby quickly turned into something new and unnerving, that I did not recognize - but I kept on playing, discovering new sounds along the way, letting them encompass my conscience and rob me of my turmoil.
The song matured into a requiem for the peace I had lost - the peace I longed to get back. Then, as the notes grew into a taut crescendo, it happened.
My mind became one with Alice's without notice, rendering me unable to continue my melody. Her vision was so powerful, that the concrete reality suddenly felt like a collapsable illusion. The scene in front of my eyes was very different from the black and white keys that were no longer trembling under my fingers. I was in a dark room, the air tinged with the rotten smell of a catacomb. It was impossible to recognize it, but that didn't bother me.
What bothered me was the sight of my Bella, standing on her knees and being held by two pairs of hands. I couldn't tell whose hands those were - they belonged to two faceless robe-wearing figures.
"Please, let me explain just once," my wife said and her voice was calm, despite her obviously helpless position.
I didn't like this. Why wasn't I there, to drag her away from their crude embrace and back to safety?
"Oh, but you've done your fair share of explaining, cara mia... Your family did as well and where are they now?"
I recognized the voice as soon as it glided in the darkness. It was syrupy and dire, like a greeting card announcing the death of a loved one, just as it had always been in my father's memories.
Aro grazed his fingers on Bella's cheek with tenderness. He let his hands cover each side of her face, brushing her stray hairs beneath her ears, almost as if he was getting her ready for a kiss. Before she got the chance to close her eyes - new, golden eyes, that I had never seen - her head was no longer there, attached to her body.
Alice gasped loudly when the vision ended abruptly and in my shock, I completely obliterated the black key under my index finger. Freed from the chains of her mind, I got up immediately and went to the lounging room, where everyone else was, straight to my wife.
"What was that?"
"Tell us."
My arms locked Bella in place and she looked up at me with worry.
Alice offered us a re-telling of her vision, leaving no details behind. When she was finished, the room didn't go crazy, as I had expected - at least not on the surface.
"Aro... is he the leader of the Volturi?" Bella asked me. "I think you've told me plenty of things about them when I was human, but I only remember bits and pieces."
"Yes, love, you remember correctly. But I will not let him or anyone else hurt you, I promise you this."
I held her tighter against my body, trying to make my voice sound collected - the opposite of how I felt in that moment.
"Don't feed her that crap," Rosalie hissed. "You know, Bella, what my brother is not telling you is that he - or anyone else, for that matter - cannot stop the Volturi, if they are provoked. This is not even about protecting anymore. Such a thing is out of our hands, really."
"Nobody will touch her as long as I am here and have a say in it," my lips turned into a grimace as I spoke, revealing my teeth.
"Bro, you might be outnumbered."
"I do know how to fight, Emmett," I told him.
"Three vampires at once? Or even more?"
"Is this their final decision?" Esme interrupted us. "It can't be, they haven't even heard our side."
"They're not always so willing to hear the other side, my dear," Carlisle said.
"And if Alice's vision is right, nobody gets out alive anyway," he went on.
The silence that fell upon us like a blanket was unnerving. It was as if everyone got to hear Carlisle's last thought as loud and clear as I did. But they didn't have to - their minds brought them to the same conclusion without him saying a word.
I looked around the room. Just as I was holding Bella, Jasper and Emmet were holding Alice and Rosalie. Their faces were shaped into various masks of worry and unease, as they allowed themselves to process the magnitude of the danger we were in. Fleeing from Forks for the wolves' sake was one thing. Having the Volturi on our backs was an entirely different problem - one that wasn't as easily escapable.
It didn't take me long to understand that, as unbelievable as it seemed, that might have been the last time we got to spend together in the same room.
"Kids," Carlisle broke the silence.
Seven pairs of eyes glanced at him in unison.
"I hope you all understand why, in the current circumstances, it is much too dangerous to remain a group."
Rosalie was the first one to protest:
"We're breaking up?"
"For the time being, yes."
"I hate that this makes so much sense," Alice's thought was barely a whisper. She had seen Carlisle's plan seconds before he got to voice it. Her mind was already going through alternative timelines, ones in which we didn't split up - none of them seemed to steer our family towards a happy ending. The splitting up scenario didn't seem to lead anywhere in particular yet - there were only bits of pieces of late night drives, fragrant woods, scorching deserts and Northern lights, too vague to mean anything - but at least it didn't bring us to a certain death.
"Why would we do such a thing?"
"If we separate, this means fewer chances for the Volturi to find us. They would have to use more resources to find four separate groups than it would take them to find all of us."
"They won't even know that we had separated," Alice continued his explanation.
"And even if they did - their egos are big enough not to send the whole guard after us."
"That depends on how pissed they are," Emmett's mind echoed mine.
"Besides, if they decide to send Demetri, it would be game over for us," Alice added. "It would be too easy for them to find us if we remain together."
Everyone agreed with her, inside and out. Only Bella seemed to be confused.
"Why is that?" she asked, her eyes flickering from me to the rest of our family. "What am I missing?"
"Demetri can track a person via that person's mind," I explained. "But he can't track several people at once, especially when said people are scattered all throughout the world."
"Oh..."
"That's what I thought."
"We never did this before - not like this anyway," Rosalie was exasperated and I couldn't blame her for it. Her whole life was shaking and she had no control over it.
Bella's hand squeezed mine, pulling me back to my own thoughts. I looked down at her immediately, meeting her worrisome eyes.
"So we're going alone?" she asked.
"Yes," Carlisle responded. "And we won't remain in one place for too long - we can't afford getting comfortable, that's when we get vulnerable."
"And should we tell… Tanya and Kate?"
Alice stepped in immediately:
"The Volturi might consider them our accomplices, so we have to keep them out of the loop."
"Which means that we have to leave now," Jasper added. "They might return any second."
Without further ado, we went back to packing our bags, not even two weeks after doing the very same thing in Forks. It was easier this time around. After all, we were not leaving our home anymore.
I didn't have to bargain too much to take the private jet - Bella and I needed it more than they did when it came to long-distance travel.
Fate was on our side, because Tanya and Kate were still away by the time we were ready. At least they were going to be safe from the Volturi. After all, none of them knew about our witnesses - and a lack of knowledge could not be considered a capital offense. Alice made sure to leave a note behind, only two words engraved on a yellow post-it: "Don't call".
We left the house in complete silence. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the fact that it might have been the last time we were together as a family. Nobody wanted to talk about the perils of going nomadic. Nobody wanted to talk about the next time we were going to see each other again. Nobody said anything about what a complete disaster Mondays were.
But in their minds, they were all saying goodbye.
Do not get in trouble.
Do not spend more than a few days in a town.
Do not use your real names.
Do not use credit cards.
Do not make friends along the way.
These were the rules we all had to follow, if we wanted to have any chance to stay under the radar. Meanwhile, Alice had to keep tabs on the Volturi's decisions, so that she could know about their whereabouts just in time for us to escape. It was as close to an infallible plan as we could get.
I flew our plane all the way to Ossora, a small Russian town situated on the shore of the Bering Sea. While we were up in the air, getting as far away from the United States as possible, Aro, Jane, Alec and Felix were flying first class, heading to the first place we left behind: our home in Forks.
Along the way, I got to tell Bella everything that she had forgotten about the Volturi. Back when she heard my stories for the first time, in her human days, they felt more like a fairytale, according to her. She made the same joke she did back then, calling them the big old Italian mafia. In a way, she wasn't wrong.
"You said something about Jane and Alec," Bella pointed out. "Their powers."
"Yes, what about them?"
"I was thinking… since you can't seem to be able to read my mind, would other vampires' powers work on me? I'm curious."
"I am not. But we won't get to find out anyway. I plan to keep you as far away as possible from them."
"But in the hypothetical scenario in which the plan fails, what if..."
My hands gripped the yoke tighter. I couldn't afford to consider hypothetical scenarios. I could only afford to concentrate on what mattered most: keeping Bella safe and away from the Volturi.
"I won't fail you," I said between my teeth.
We arrived in Ossora just before the sunrise. Ossora was not the rainy Forks or the wintry Denali. The days there were shiny and bright, especially during the summer. I had to bribe a few guys from the terminal to let us go without going through passport control - since our false passports weren't ready yet, we had to make do with what we had. In a day or two, Jasper was going to fax us our new identities.
The little Russian town was a blank canvas. With a population even smaller than that of Forks, it was quite a surprise that they even had a functioning airport. As much as I wanted to offer Bella the comfort of having access to a bath and a bed, I could not risk another accident. Instead of going to the small motel downtown, we went on a different route, through the woods. And to both our surprise, we found something right where the forest was ending, close to the outskirts of the town: a short building, that looked like it could use a few renovations.
The scents coming from inside were harmless: wood, watercolors and plastic balloons. It didn't look abandoned, yet it was clear that no humans had been there for a while. As I read the words on the welcome placard, I realized we were standing in front of a kindergarten - and lucky us, it was summer vacation in Russia as well.
"I think we've found our place."
"I've been to worse hotels with Renée."
I laughed, amazed that she was still able to maintain her humour, given the circumstances. On the inside, the kindergarden seemed rather modest. The entrance hall had poorly made, yet charming paintings all over the walls, along with a few framed photos of kids on school trips. The doors had thresholds that stood way too low for me - so much so that I had to hunch a little each time I passed through another one. There were no security cameras around - it was almost too easy.
The building only had four rooms: two classrooms, one office and a common bathroom. The dust had settled on the wooden furniture, covering it in a canescent veil. We left our luggage in one of the classrooms - the one that belonged to Mrs. Lebadov, going by the badge left on the desk.
"I wonder how long it's been since school ended here," I pondered out loud.
Bella was busy studying a particular painting on the wall that showed an odd family. It wasn't odd because they were all stick figures, but because it had the weirdest dynamic: the two adults held their hands in a corner, smiling, while the kid was on the opposite side of the paper sheet. For some reason, the kid seemed happy too.
"We're lucky that they don't seem to be doing any kind of maintenance," I said, swiping the veil of dust from a small desk with my fingers.
"Yes, we are," she agreed, but her mind seemed to be someplace else.
She kept twisting her wedding ring on her finger, looking around with curious eyes. She was now observing the scribblings on the blackboard.
"Where is your mind, my love?"
Before I got to finish my sentence, she was already in front of me. Her arms reached out to me, swathing my shoulders in a loose embrace, and then responded:
"I am thinking about how crazy everything is, to be honest."
I let my hands caress the small of her back when I spoke:
"Tell me more, please."
"Well… we should have been in Forks right now, probably getting ready to see my dad once more before we left for Cardiff. And now we're… in freaking Russia, in what seems to be a ghost town, running away from vampire royalty."
"I know, it is a lot to take in."
I was still doing a fair amount of taking everything in myself.
"And being in Denali was… a lot, I swear. I couldn't take one more day of people telling me how 'normal' my killings were. Because they were not normal, Edward, not for me. I had so much time to prepare for this life, only to ruin it all with one stupid impulse decision..."
This was the most talkative I had seen her since the accident. On one hand, it made me happy to see her finally able to open up. On the other, I didn't know how to hold the pieces of her mind together, to avoid a breakdown.
"Is it so wrong to need a break?" she whispered, pressing herself against me.
I tried to step back. Each touch felt like fire and I couldn't allow myself to get excited when she was still a mess, nor to let her see how impossible of a task this actually was. I had to be a gentleman for her.
"No, Bella, of course not."
I kissed her hair gently, but she glued herself to me once again, pulling me back to where I was seconds ago. There was no doubt now that she could perfectly feel my bulky erection, constrained by my jeans.
"Is it bad that I want to be a little selfish now?" she went on, looking up at me with zestful eyes.
"Not at all."
I wanted to grab her and do to her all the unspeakable things I had fantasized about in the past week and a half. But she had to be at least as mentally ready as I was for this.
"Edward..."
She moved her hands to my hair, tugging slightly. I had to suppress a groan, as her small body was now rubbing dangerously against mine, reviving all of my desires at once.
"I need to forget about this for a while."
Her eyes were pleading, just like her voice. My fist closed, grabbing the material of her shirt tightly in my palm. I wanted her to forget as well. She had been all sorts of unkind to herself.
And I wanted to forget too.
"What do you want me to do, love?" I asked, praying to God she would give me the answer I was longing for.
I felt each segment of my body catching fire, awaiting for her response. Pressing her body harder on mine, she said:
"Just make me forget, Edward."
This was the only incentive I needed.
Without another word, I lifted her up in my arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist, while our faces closed the distance between us in a second. We weren't kissing - no, there had to be another word for what we were doing. Whatever it was, it was much more violent and much more ravenous than a simple kiss. Our mouths and tongues were entangled in a battle, as our hands were quickly removing all the layers of clothes that stood between us. It was as if we were both trying to eat the other up, but I couldn't care less about being delicate in that moment. My most primal instincts were taking a front seat, leaving all sense and reason behind.
Each touch made her moan like she had never been touched before. I savoured her reactions, biting my way from her earlobe to her throat and finally, to her breasts. My impatience was evident - I wasn't sure I had the strength or even the desire to take my time with her as I usually did.
I wanted it to be fast and I wanted it to be hard. I didn't want to make love to her. I wanted to fuck her.
My mind went completely wild with need when I tore her underwear and got to feel her wetness on my fingers.
"God, you're dripping," I moaned, rubbing hard on her clitoris. It responded like I knew it would, pulsing with pleasure and ready to explode from all the waiting it had endured. "I've missed this… missed you... so much."
"Me too! Please… please, Edward..."
Her words were intricate melodies to my ears, singing songs in front of which I could not resist. I pinned her body against the nearest wall and I knew then, looking in her eyes, that she, too, wanted it hard and fast.
"God, Bella, I am going to fuck you until you beg me to stop," I groaned, my face hidden in her neck.
My words had the same effect on her as they did in the movie theater, not so long ago, assuring me once again that I had to use them more often with her. Bella gasped and I plunged inside her with one single motion, giving her no time to accommodate my length and my girth. She cried out from the shock of being filled so completely - and once again when I began moving with force, slamming her against the wall with each thrust.
My own body felt overwhelmed with the pleasure of finally being inside my wife again, after waiting for so long. It felt even better than I remembered: tighter, wetter, warmer. Her velvet muscles hugged my every inch, welcoming me, showing me how much she missed me too.
"My Bella..." I murmured, completely lost in her.
She gouged her fingers in my hips, sobbing helplessly with each push of mine.
"Feels… so… good… harder," she whispered between breaths.
My roar filled the air when I obliged her wishes and began moving at full speed. I kept chanting 'My Bella… my Bella… my Bella' like a mad man, my mind still wrapping itself around the idea that I was finally possessing her again. I had wanted her all throughout her sorrow, my desire as unchanged as my love for her - and now I was finally having her.
For the first time since the accident, I allowed myself to form a thought that had been haunting me: it didn't matter what she did. And if thinking that made me a monster, I couldn't care less. She was still my Bella. Still my angel. My love. My everything. No crime, hers or mine, could ever erase that.
There was no warning when my orgasm hit like a tsunami. I buried myself deeper inside her body, groaning in desperation when my venom spurted and inundated her. A small part of me realized how selfish I was for doing this before she got the chance to reach her climax, but the rest of me didn't care. My release took several precious moments, the fresh venom overflowing straight to my testicles, mixed up with Bella's liquid arousal.
I was breathing heavily against her collarbone when I was done, still clasping her buttocks in my hands. Her hands and legs remained closely wrapped around me.
"I love you," her whisper danced in the air, intertwining with the wet sounds our slowly moving bodies made.
"And I you."
"I don't want you to stop."
She shifted slowly down my erection, my venom flowing out of her and collecting into a small pool on the floor.
"Oh, I am in too deep to stop now, Bella."
The delicate moan that rolled off her lips when she heard my words, laced with double meaning, set my hunger for her loose again.
"You're so beautiful," I whispered, moving her away from the wall - noticing the huge crack left behind from slamming her so hard against it - and placing her body on the floor. "Let's do this properly now. Slower."
Bella gripped me tighter, pulling my face down for a kiss. I let my tongue explore her mouth and our bodies united once again.
We made love all night, trying hard not to destroy the kindergarten more than we already did. At times we went rougher, at other times slower. We caught up with all the pent-up lust we had brought with us from Alaska.
It was easy to forget that we were on the run. It was easy to forget why we were in an empty kindergarten on the coast of the Bering Sea. It was easy to forget most things when I was with her.
At some point, I even forgot where she ended and where I began - and I didn't mind that at all.
If you've got this far, thank you for having so much patience with my story - I am really grateful for that!
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