Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter, it's been busy and I wanted to get this chapter right for you guys.
As always, thank you all so much for reading my story, please continue to read and review.
With that said, please enjoy chapter 14!
Kakashi was standing in the open doorway to Saki's apartment. On the other side of it stood Saki herself. Long red hair framed her face and flowed down her curves. Her big blue eyes stared at him with love and compassion.
Just as he was about to cross the barrier into her apartment and take her into his arms, she spoke to him.
"I have tried for a long time to mend things with you and to bond with you like teammates should. But this last mission showed me that you have no intention of ever doing that. You proved once and for all that you want nothing to do with me."
Why was she talking about being on a mission with him? What did she mean by mend things? Saki was changing before his very eyes.
Her red hair shortened a few inches and lightened to a soft pink. Her loving blue eyes turned green and now held hurt and anger in them. She shrank a couple of inches and was now level with his chest. Now standing before him was an angry and hurt Sakura, who began to speak again.
"I'm done trying to be your friend or trying to get to know and understand you. I'm done following you around having a one-sided conversation. I'm just done with this," she explained as she foisted her hand in the air between them. "I get it; you hate me and I'll leave you alone from now on, Kakashi."
"Sakura, I..."
"You don't have to say anything; I'm a big girl now, Sensei. I'm not the same old cry baby that I used to be. I just wanted you to know that I understand, and I won't bother you anymore. You should get back to the hospital before someone realizes that you're missing," she told him, looking away.
She looked back at him and they made eye contact. "Good bye, Kakashi-sensei," she said and closed the door.
He lunged forward at the closing door, but he was too slow. It was closed before he could stop it.
Now he was pressed up against the door and banging his fist on it in an attempt to get it open again. He knew Sakura was still there; he could hear her soft cries on the other side of the door. His heart broke. He called out to her through the door.
"Sakura, open the door!" he pleaded with her, "Just talk to me, I can explain," he continued, hoping to get through to her.
"I can't, Kakashi," she cried. "It hurts too much! How could you do this to me?"
"I… I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt you!" he tried to explain.
"Just leave me alone, Kakashi!" she shouted through the door, "I never want to see you again."
Panic washed over Kakashi. He had grown even more attached to her than he had realized. He couldn't let her go. "Sakura, please, don't do this. I love you! I want us to be together. I love you, Sakura!"
Kakashi awoke with a start. He was covered in a cold sweat and something wet running down his face. He brought one hand up to touch his wet cheek. Tears?!
Flashes of his terrible dream washed over him and with it the memories of him going to Saki's house the previous night and finding Sakura there. His heart ached all over again.
It was Friday and Sukea was supposed to go visit Saki, something he wasn't so sure was a good idea. He had thought about it a lot the night before after leaving Sakura's place. He had wandered around the village for hours thinking about what Saki meant to him. What Sakura meant to him.
He knew that he loved her; it wasn't an easy thing for him to admit after the life he had lived, but he knew it. Even if he wasn't ready to say it out loud. He also knew that he wanted to be with Saki no matter what her real name was.
Sure, she was beautiful, though truth be told so was Sakura. But he had fallen in love with who she was, not what she looked like. He loved her for her kindness, her devotion to helping others, and her dedication to their village. She was also intelligent and witty. He had never had a dull conversation with her.
She was fun and outgoing but never overly wild and crazy. She wasn't out to be the center of attention or to be noticed by anyone but him. He was enough for her; he was all she wanted. It was a fact that warmed Kakashi's heart.
During his long walk lost in his own thoughts, he realized that the whole time he was Sukea, he had still been Kakashi. He looked different, sure, but he hadn't been faking or acting around Saki. She got the full unguarded Kakashi Hatake.
He believed that the same was also true for Sakura, that everything that he had experienced with Saki was real for Sakura. He had come to the conclusion that the henges had made the two of them drop their guards and truly be themselves with each other. Something that neither one of them would have ever done as their true identity due to their history.
Once they were able to look at each other with someone else's face on, they had been able to get to know each other in a different way, a way that they had never been able to before. The result of this was that the two of them were undeniably in love with each other.
That was something Kakashi had decided that he wasn't willing to let go of easily. He had never been in love before and most of the people in his life that he had loved were all gone now in one way or another. That thought brought back a painful memory for Kakashi.
During the final battle that took Sasuka's life and nearly Naruto's, Kakashi had saved Sakura without thought. His body had just moved; he had chalked it up to instinct at the time. She was the only one he could save, right? That wasn't true, though. He could have tackled either of the boys, sparing them and leaving the other to collide with Sakura.
But he didn't. He had protected Sakura and left the two young men to collide with one another and land their fatal blows. Kakashi had always cared for Sakura as a teammate, and he knew that he hadn't been in love with her during the war.
But he was fairly certain now that she had meant more to him even back then than he had realized. Now that had blossomed into a whole new kind of feeling for him. He just couldn't let what he had with Sakura go without a fight.
Kakashi was hoping that he wouldn't have to fight to stay with Sakura. He hoped that when their true identities came to light, she would realise as he did that who she really loved was Kakashi, that he was just wearing Sukea's face.
He knew he couldn't continue to see Sakura as Sukea, knowing who she was and not telling her. He would be outright lying to her; it would be manipulative and outright wrong. Not telling her the truth was not an option.
Kakashi wrapped his scarf a little tighter around him as the cold winter wind bit at his skin. He was on his way to Sakura's house to see Saki. He had made up his mind earlier that day that he would tell Sakura who he really was, and that he also knew who she really was as well.
He had tried several times throughout the day to plan out exactly what he was going to say to Sakura when the time came to have that talk. Unfortunately for him, the right words never came to him. Each time he would mentally start the conversation, nothing he came up with seemed like the right thing to say.
Too bad Master Jiraiya hadn't written a book about a situation like his. It would have given him at least something to go off of. He was terrible at personal talk, even worse at romantic talk, and never had he ever had to talk to someone about love or secret identities. Especially not in the same conversation.
Kakashi sighed to himself. He was now standing in front of Sakura's apartment building. "Well, it's now or never," he said to himself before climbing the stairs to her floor.
He was already in his henge, having performed the seals in a private space along the way. He had decided a while ago that it would be problematic if someone were to see Sukea leaving his house on such a regular basis and equally problematic for someone to see Kakashi entering Sakura's apartment building every weekend.
Before he could breathe, he was standing in front of her door again. He knocked. Then everything felt like slow motion as he heard Sakura make her way to the door. He watched the door knob turn and it opened slowly.
When the door finally opened fully, Saki was waiting on the other side of it. Long red hair framed her face and flowed down her curves. Her big blue eyes stared at him with love and compassion. She reached her hand out for him to take. He did so and followed her into the apartment.
Once the door was closed behind them, she immediately wrapped both of her arms around him. He pulled her into his embrace, feeling her warmth, smelling her scent and the warmth that spread through his own body at having her in his arms. He hoped that feeling wasn't something that he would be losing tonight.
"I made dinner." Saki declared. "Are you hungry?"
He nodded. "I am, but I need to talk to you about something first."
Sakura had been so excited to get to see Sukea. The mission she had been on with Kakashi had taken a toll on her, both physically and mentally. Now that he was finally with her, he was giving her the classic "We need to talk" pre-break up line and a guilty facial expression to top it off.
Sakura jumped back like she had just been burned, hoping that she was just reading too much into this.
She knew something was coming, he had something to tell her and they both knew she wasn't going to like it. This isn't how this was supposed to go. Kakashi thought to himself.
Saki sighed. "You don't want to see me anymore," she said in the softest of voices.
He really was terrible at love, wasn't he?! That was the last thing he wanted, but her fear actually gave him hope that maybe she wouldn't shun him from her life once he told her the truth.
But first, he needed to get her to relax. He reached out and circled one arm around her slim waist. "Of course not. That's the last thing that I want," he answered honestly.
Sakura scrunched her nose in confusion. "Then what is it, Sukea?" If he wasn't breaking up with her, then what was on his mind that made him look so sad and guilty?
Kakashi's brain was drawing a blank; he had no idea how to talk to her about the situation they had gotten themselves in. He needed to buy himself a little bit more time to properly think it out. "I uhh, won't be here here next weekend. I have an event, and it will take through the weekend to complete. I'm sorry." For everything, he told her.
"Oh, that's okay. I understand," she reassured him, then her eyes went wide. "Sukea, next weekend is Christmas. It's our first Christmas together; you can't miss that!"
Shit! He never had anyone to celebrate Christmas with, so the actual day usually crept up on him. He hadn't realized that when he had decided to tell her that he couldn't be there. "I'll see if I can work something out. No promises, though."
She nodded, and his stomach growled loudly. "We should eat before the food gets cold," she giggled.
"Right." He would have to figure out how to tell her tonight. Well, back to square one of plan-A, I suppose.
"Do you need any help with anything?" he asked her.
"No, I've got it. You just go sit down." She smiled at him.
He took his usual seat at the small kitchen table as Saki began making their plates of food. Kakashi found himself immediately lost in his own thoughts.
He thought, not for the first time, that he could spend every evening of the rest of his life just like this. Sharing a home with the woman he loved, having dinner together, spending the rest of the evening cuddled on the sofa reading together before they headed off to bed to make love.
Yes, he could see himself being happy spending the rest of his life with… SAKURA!
He had already come to terms with the fact that Sakura was Saki in a henge, but the thought of being comfortable spending the rest of his life with her hit him differently now that he was thinking of her as Sakura.
He really needed to figure out the right way to tell her the truth. Tonight! He was determined to clear it up tonight. Regardless of the consequences, he knew it was wrong to keep it from her any longer.
Sakura turned around to Sukea at her kitchen table. With a plate of food in each hand, she walked to the table and set each in its place. Sukea didn't even seem to notice—not the food in front of him or her beside him. He was acting really strange tonight; she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, or that maybe he wasn't telling her something.
"Hey," came a soft voice. "Are you okay?" Kakashi felt her delicate hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her. She looked worried. He must have checked out for a minute; he didn't even notice her approaching.
He wanted to calm her fears. Feeling bad that he had spaced out and had made her worried, he wrapped one arm around her small waist and pulled her closer. "I'm fine, as long as I have you."
Sakura wasn't completely convinced, but she didn't want to push him if he wasn't comfortable talking about it. Besides, he made it clear that he had no intention of ending their relationship. As long as that wasn the case, how bad could it be?
He cleared his throat. "Saki," he started.
Sakura placed a single finger gently to his lips. "It's okay. Whatever it is, we don't have to talk about it right now," she reassured him before leaning in to place a kiss on his lips.
Kakashi knew that he should have protested, but the need to be close to her took over. He returned the kiss and soon deepened it by stroking his tongue across her lower lip to ask for entrance. Soon she climbed into his lap to straddle him and wrapped both arms around his strong shoulders.
With their lips still connected and their hands still clinging to each other, Saki stood up and began to pull Sukea with her. She continued to encourage their activities as she pulled him towards her bedroom door, kissing and running her fingers through his hair.
Feeling the need to have her closer to him, Kakashi pulled her in, now having her body flush against his. They staggered their way to her bedroom, removing clothing as they went. He knew this need for her could only be satisfied when she finally took him into her.
He gently laid her out on the bed before him, leaning over her he kissed her with passion. Climbing atop of her, he kissed his way down her neck and at her ear. She was running her small hands down his back, gripping him tightly when he kissed the right places.
"Sakura," he groaned into her shoulder.
Sakura? What? How? When? WHO? Sakura thought in a panic. What the hell is going on?
Saki's body had gone rigid and she had stopped breathing. Clearly something was wrong; he leaned back to look her in the face, her eyes were wide and confused, and she was beginning to breathe rapidly. Was she about to have a panic attack?
Not sure what had brought on this change in her, he gently grabbed her chin and turned her head to face him. "Saki?"
As soon as her eyes locked with his he felt her hands on his chest, pushing hard. He sat back and looked at her, now thoroughly confused. She scurried back on the bed. grabbing at her blanket in an attempt to get away from him and to cover herself.
"Who are you?" she demanded.
"Saki, what are…"
"I asked, who are you?!" she asked again, sounding more angry this time. Her red hair went pink and blue eyes went green. She had dropped her henge; she was Sakura again. "You called me Sakura! How do you know that? Who are you really?"
Oh no. He had called her Sakura, hadn't he? Now she was panicking and thinking of him as a threat. If he didn't want her to start throwing chakra enhanced punches, he needed to defuse this situation and prove to her that he wasn't a threat.
He had decided to tell her the truth tonight and he could admit that he had gotten carried away in the moment. He had still been working things out in his mind when they had started this in the kitchen, but this was definitely not how he wanted this conversation to go.
"Sakura, you don't have to be afraid. I would never hurt you. I swear."
"Then tell me who you are." Her eyes were fixed on him. She didn't believe him, and she certainly didn't trust him.
He took a long deep breath and released the henge right before her eyes. His brown hair turned to silver, his eyes faded to their dark grey color, and all the scars from his past were bared for her to see.
Sakura's mouth dropped, and her eyes grew wide. She jumped off the bed and backed up to the far wall, seemingly trying to get as far away from him as she could without actually leaving the room.
This was bad. She wasn't taking it well at all.
"Why would you do something like this? How could you do something like this?" Her voice was climbing with every word.
Kakashi understood why she was upset; he had taken it hard when he had found out, and her way of finding out was even worse. He knew he had made a mistake by not telling her right away. It left too much room for something like this to happen.
"Sakura, I didn't mean for you to find out like that."
"But you KNEW!" She was all but screaming at him now.
He took a couple of steps towards her. He hated seeing her like that and only wanted to make things better. But she wasn't going to let him.
"Don't come any closer to me!" She was holding onto the sheet around her so tightly that her knuckles were white.
"I can explain," he tried to reason with her.
"What is there to explain? You have been sleeping with me and dating me while knowing who I am and hiding who you are!"
"That's not entirely true, and you have been using a henge as well. You aren't completely innocent in all of this either, Sakura," he told her sternly as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"You asked me to start dating, remember? And at least I didn't know that it was you! Trust me if I had known, I never would have slept with you that first night. What was this, Kakashi? Some kind of sick joke to you, another cruel way to mess with my head?
"Was it a fun game for you? As Kakashi you treat me so terribly, then as Sukea you sleep with me and make me fall for you while you're in a henge?" her tone was incredibly bitter.
Those questions coming from her hurt more than Kakashi wanted to admit. He realized how it must look to Sakura; he had only known for a couple of days, but he had never intended to keep the truth from her. Unfortunately, that must have been exactly how it looked to Sakura.
"I didn't know it was you until our last mission, I promise. I didn't do any of this on purpose. Do you honestly think that I would do that? Do you think that I would have come on to you that night if I had known it was you?"
He hadn't meant it as an insult. He was just trying to show her that he wouldn't have taken advantage of her like that.
Sakura snorted. "You wouldn't take me home from the bar, but you were more than willing to sleep with me fifteen minutes ago knowing who I am. What's the difference?"
"Because," was all that came out of Kakashi's mouth. He knew what he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to actually say it to her face.
"Because," Sakura repeated. Her eyes began to fill with tears, but she refused to let them fall in front of Kakashi. "If that's all you have to say for everything that has happened, then it's time for you leave. Again."
He didn't say anything but didn't make a move to grab his clothes to leave either.
"You broke my trust and you hurt me more than you could ever know. You don't even have anything to say for your actions. Please leave my house."
Kakashi grabbed his discarded clothes and quickly dressed himself before making his way to the door. He looked back at Sakura's bedroom door that was still open. She was sitting on the foot of her bed, and he could hear her soft cries. He wanted to turn around and go comfort her, but he figured he had already made a big enough mess of things tonight.
This day had started with a nightmare and it would seem that it was going to end in one as well.
