DAY 3

Eddy woke up fine, but then he remembered his life and felt like shit. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for a long time before deciding to look at the window to see if it was light outside. He could see from the glow through the blinds that it was morning. He could tell by the sounds of the birds chirping and of Rolf bellowing his hour-long morning livestock ritual/chant that it was very, very early. He'd only woken up because his body had gotten so used to going to school.

But he wasn't going to school. Not today. Probably not for a good, long time. That should have been way more exciting than it was. He also didn't want to deal with his, or anybody else's, problems, so he rolled over onto his side and tried to go back to sleep.

As he tried to sleep, he was thinking. He thought about the glowing, noisy fissures. The putrid heat wafting off them. He thought about Double Dee unconscious in a bed next to Jimmy. Of all the people to wake up next to, he had to be the worst; especially given his particular set of preferences.

He thought about Jimmy. Jimmy hadn't looked too good. He thought about Ed, about visiting Ed and seeing him so worried and nervous sitting next to his mom, who looked about as good as Jimmy, who looked about half dead. He thought about Ed's dad sitting in the recliner and staring at the TV. He didn't like to think about that, so he didn't.

Eddy decided he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore today, so he got up and put on some clothes. He'd decided last night he'd start sleeping naked since his mom wouldn't be there to wake him up. He felt so thrilled lying there with his bare dong touching the bed sheets. He laid there with a grin on his face for a little while, before falling asleep soon thereafter. It had been a taxing day.

He felt stupid now, pulling on pants, naked in his room. So childish. He zipped his pants and slid open his door to the backyard and stood out there trying to figure out what to do with so much time. He couldn't do scams, because his friends were busy and they were hurt and he didn't feel right acting like himself with them how they were.

He stood out in the yard and looked at the morning. Funny. He'd never seen one before. Not of his own volition, anyways. He could go over to Ed's, check up on his mom. Or go see Double Dee at Nazz's. But then he'd have to go see Jimmy too, and Sarah, since she'd gotten the okay to sleep over with Jimmy and make him feel better and make herself feel better because at least then she didn't have to think so much about her sick mother. She could just look at Jimmy and associate him with being sick, and only him, not her mom. Eddy got sad thinking about shit sometimes. He didn't like to think too much, not about other people. It wasn't like he didn't have problems like everyone else. He did. It wasn't so bad when he thought about his own problems. It was just that he was used to his. He was used to his dad's drinking, not Ed's dad's. He was used to his parents neglecting him, not Double Dee's. Or Ed's too for that manner. Even if his mom was nice.

Eddy decided to go visit Ed first. He was closer, after all. And he didn't have so many people to see there, so early. Just Ed. His mom would usually speak with him, smiling, when he came over, but with her sick, not so much. Ed's dad didn't do much of anything, so he didn't have to worry there.

Eddy went back inside, pulled on his shirt, and went out the front. It was quiet. Dark. Power was out. Couldn't hardly tell the cracks from the rest of the black. Outside, he stopped to take inventory. He looked at all the houses, their cracked, half-destroyed exteriors. Double Dee's house was empty. The Marconeaus' house was empty. Jimmy's house was empty. Jonny's, probably empty; Jonny spent as little time indoors as possible. Kevin slept over with Nazz and those guys, so that house was empty too. The two unsold houses on the streets, empty. Ed's house looked all musty and dying, if only just because Eddy knew what he'd face inside.

Eddy steeled himself up, tried to think up an approximation of how he usually acted, stuck his chest out, cocked a big grin and went over.

Inside, he heard the TV running recordings of Everybody Loves Raymond, since Ed's dad didn't want to watch all the dour news. Eddy couldn't blame him, really. He felt really similar to Ed's dad. He didn't like to think a lot about that, either.

Eddy always felt uncomfortable walking past Ed's dad splayed out in his chair. He didn't know why; he never spoke. But he always crept quietly past or came in the back door. He hadn't been thinking about it today, or he would have. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Ed's dad's crackly voice called, "'Ey!"

Eddy turned to Ed's dad. "Yessir?" Ed's dad sat in his recliner, leaned over on one elbow. His face was all yellow like Ed's, but he was missing more teeth. He wore a wifebeater, because of course he was wearing a wifebeater. He didn't have to go to work today. Eddy's dad wasn't working and he and Eddy had an unspoken understanding that he'd never tell his dad when Ed's dad stayed home all day, watching TV. Ed's dad looked angry today. Ed's dad didn't speak too much, so his voice kept going in and out. "You ain't - ain't gonna talk back at me, too, are you?"

"Nosir."

"Huh. You're about the only boy in this neighborhood knows when to keep his place." He was already flat in his chair again, back to watching TV.

"Did you and Ed have a fight, Mr. Ed's Dad?" Eddy asked meekly. Eddy waiter a minute, but Ed's dad did not respond. Eddy walked off, hoping Mr. Ed wouldn't speak again, and he didn't, so Eddy went upstairs.

As he went up, he was struck with the sudden scent of feces. It reminded him of visiting his Grandmother in the old folk's home. She always smelled like shit. Literally. Eddy figured it was Ed's mom. Eddy suddenly didn't want to visit Ed anymore. Halfway up the stairs, he stopped. No, he couldn't abandon his friend like that. If there was one thing Eddy's dad did for his son, it was beat the idea of loyalty into him.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he looked down the hallway. He didn't see nobody. The door to Ed's parents' room was open, but he could just see the edge of the bed. He couldn't see Mrs. Ed's Mom in there. He couldn't see Ed either.

Eddy went back downstairs and left out the backdoor, staying close to the wall so if Ed looked out a window, he wouldn't be able to see Eddy sneaking around. Round front of the house, Eddy took off and hid around the side of Jimmy's house. Through the windows, all the rooms were dark. Eddy didn't like that.

Eddy stood outside of Nazz's house and thought about whether or not to knock before going inside. If he just went inside, it would make Eddy feel like he and the other kids were a big happy family. But it might also seem like Eddy was not aware of boundaries. If he knocked, he risked appearing distance to the others. And now more than ever, without the other Eds to help him along, he didn't want to be alone.

Before he could decide, Kevin answered the door and ushered Eddy in. "What's up?" asked Eddy.

Kevin looked confused. "Whadda ya mean?"

"Why'd you shove me inside like that, shovelchin?"

"I was just lettin' you in, God, you were standin' outside like a weirdo, rubbin' a hole in your chin. What, anything up with you? You look nervous."

"Nah. It's nothin'." Eddy went silent, as he'd taken up the habit in the last twenty-four hours. Kevin was silent too.

"Well, uh, if you need somethin', if you need help or anything, I ain't got nothin' ta do. So if you want me to do somethin'..." Silence again.

"Nah." Kevin looked disappointed. Sad too. The two boys just stood around, hands on hips. "So where's Nazz?"

"Oh, she's out, uh, I think lookin' for help, for her, you know, parents and all that stuff."

"Yeah." Eddy thought about the parents. He felt Kevin was too, because the silence between them got more weight, more uncomfortable.

"So how's Jimmy and Double Dee?"

Kevin was relieved to answer, to cut short the silence. "They're a'ight. Jimmy don't look good, but he gets like that all the time. Double Dee's talkin'. He gets up and walks around and he seems alright till he gets real tired or confused 'r angry or sick. He seems good, you wanna go talk ta him? We been talkin' all mornin'. Can't shut the dork up."

"Yeah, sure, I gotta nothin' better ta do."

On their walk up to Nazz's guest room, they went silent again. Kevin got nervous and stumbled in asking "So you think everything's gonna be alright?" And then the silence got heavier. "My bad," mumbled Kevin.

They reached the room, and Kevin opened the door. "Hey, guys, you got a visitor." Eddy poked his head in to see if everybody was as sad as everyone outside. Sarah and Jimmy and Double Dee all met him with smiles. Sarah and Double Dee sat on Jimmy's bed. At Jimmy's feet was a tray of tea it seemed Sarah had made.

"Hey, Eddy," said Sarah chipperly. "How'd ya sleep?"

"Good," Eddy mumbled, still uncomfortable. It was like a dollhouse nightmare. Porcelain smiles all around. Pulsing veins on every forehead. They shouldn't try so hard; they're likely to blow a gasket or pop the wrong artery in their brains.

"Eddy, how have you been since everything happened? I've been worried half to death," said Double Dee, who made Eddy's mind feel lighter than it had since the night before last.

Sarah piped in, "I told him Eddy ain't gonna have no trouble with this. He's seen worse things, haven'cha Eddy?"

"Yeah, sure. Hey, Sarah, you been home yet?"

Silence again. Kevin was glaring a hole in him.

"No, not yet," Sarah answered. "Is it bad?"

"It don't seem good."

Sarah flinched and looked at her hands in her lap, at her tea cup, which Eddy noticed was shaking. "Well, I better get over there, I guess. See ya later, Jimmy."

"See ya later, Sarah," squeaked Jimmy, who looked better. Sarah stood around a bit too long to not seem desperate.

"How ya feelin', squirt?" asked Eddy more sincerely than he meant to.

"Great, thanks for asking, Eddy. Just a bunch of bumps and bruises. I'm just a lightweight, is all!" He was holding Sarah's free hand as she gathered up her and Jimmy's tea cup and Double Dee offered up his. She took it and piled it all on the tray and went to leave. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said, turning back to the others. "Did you guys wanna keep the tea, make yourself some more without me?"

Double Dee held up a finger. "I'd be glad to whip up another batch of tea, Sarah, in time for your return!"

"Thanks, Double Dee," grinned Sarah, who seemed more at ease with Double Dee than with Eddy, which annoyed Eddy. She handed off the tray and went to leave. "Boy talk, you guys," and she was gone down the hallway. Eddy sneered at her femininity.

The boys were silent for a bit. Kevin cleared his throat and asked, "So, is it really that bad at Ed's house?"

"Yeah, I think so." They went silent again. Eddy felt like he brought it with him everywhere he went, the uncomfortable silence, the anxiety of uncertainty.

"Terrible," Double Dee said, grimly shaking his head, "I feel so deeply for Ed and his family. Such an awful, awful tragedy. I hope she gets better." Eddy wasn't sure if Double Dee's memory was just that good from when Eddy told him that yesterday morning or if somebody else elaborated yesterday afternoon or this morning.

Jimmy wanted to ask something. Eventually everybody noticed and he took his cue. "How's everything outside, you guys?" Double Dee looked to Kevin and Eddy for answers as well.

"Uh…" Kevin said, rubbing the back of his neck, glancing at Eddy.

"It's gonna be fine," chimed Eddy. "I'm surprised everybody's as worried as they are. Everything should be back to normal in no time." Eddy looked to the other boys. Jimmy seemed complacent, Kevin seemed sickened, staring at the floor with his arms crossed and face tense, but Double Dee was staring at him so hard he thought Double Dee was gonna shoot a laser through his chest. Eddy thought about how much he missed Ed.

"You guys know where Jonny is?" asked Kevin.

"Who knows. Off in the woods with his little friend, I bet," said Jimmy so confidently. Jimmy was smiling, but now the other boys weren't.

"Hey, Eddy, you wanna go see if we can find him?" asked Kevin. Eddy nodded.

"Oh, yeah, sure. We'll let the girls talk amongst themselves." He and Kevin left as Jimmy stuck his tongue out at them.

"Same old Eddy," grumbled an annoyed Jimmy. Double Dee was notably silent.

As they went down the stairs, Kevin shook his head. "I had to get outta there, man. I couldn't stand that any more. I - I - Rolf's home doin' I don't know what, Nazz is gone and I'm stuck with you dorks and Sarah. I can't believe any of this, man. It's so surreal."

"Yeah. I can't believe it either." It seemed the only way Eddy could speak any more was with an annoyed grumble.

"You really think it's gonna be fine? Really? With the fuckin' glowing hole in the woods and all that noise it was making, all that damage the earthquakes did all over?"

"No," Eddy said. Kevin stopped at the base of the stairs as Eddy went on ahead. Eddy stopped and looked back. Kevin was sitting, his eyes wide in horror and fear.

"Goddamnit, man. This is - this is really stressful. You know? Imagine having to be a leader, like me. Havin' all that responsibility. Everybody thinks I'm so strong, like I can get 'em through it all. Like I'm not their age too. I - I - I just can't, man, I wish I was...you, or Double Dee, or Jimmy, or Ed's Dad or somebody like that. I wish I didn't have so much shit to do."

Eddy didn't know what to say. He didn't know if Kevin's spiel was justified or narcissistic. If only he had Double Dee to think about all that for him. As it stood, Eddy mumbled, "Yeah." He stood there with Kevin on the stairs. Kevin was staring at the floor. He didn't talk for a while. "So, are we gonna go look for Jonny or what? Snap to it." Kevin looked up at Eddy. "Come on, then," continued Eddy impatiently.

"Alright," smiled Kevin and he extended a hand to let Eddy help him up.

As they were walking out of the house, into the street, they saw Rolf and his dad coming across the street toward them. "Ah! Here they are now! It is two of the boys I have told you about, Papa, it is the shovel-faced Kevin and the three-haired Ed-boy!" called Rolf to his enormous wooly mammoth of a father, who followed closely behind. Eddy and Kevin altered their paths to meet up with them.

Face to face, Rolf's Dad stood towering above them with his combed-over blue hair, thick, bushy mustache and heavy brow which nearly covered his eyes, his huge sloping shoulders, on one of which hung a large, empty burlap sack, his flannel shirt and suspenders, his big meaty arms, his combed-over hairy forearms, his dirty jeans and workman's boots. "It is you who is the leader?" asked the mountainous man, shoving a fire extinguisher-sized finger into Kevin's chest.

"Me? Yeah, I guess so," grunted Kevin, looking over at Eddy, more than slightly intimidated.

"How are you rationing the food, yes? Must you use our cattle and chickens? Our goats? Are you cultivating your own garden, or must you - eh, eh - suffice off our own private share? Do you have a plan for no incest monsters? Do you have, what is it, child Rolf?"

"The bladder of a bull, yes?"

"Yes, the bladder of a bull?"

Eddy and Kevin exchanged glances. Kevin raised an eyebrow. "Uh...no?"

Rolf's father lets out a long, deep, "AAAAAAHHHH," in disappointment, throwing his arms up at his son, who cowers in shame. Rolf's dad continues, "You are terrible leaders! We must overthrow you, be it by spilling your innards in the pig trough or by legislation."

"Oh-okay, sure, okay. Yeah."

"Shall you step down peacefully, force us into a physical battle for mortal conquest, or must we pluck the hairs from the neck of the swine to battle our popularity?"

"You can have it."

"Do you step down peacefully?"

"Yeah, Yes, sure."

"Ah, Rolf, if it was this easy in old country, we would never have had to leave. Now, useless hat and three haired boys, where is the capital of your government? We must pillage it and take its women."

Kevin pointed at Nazz's house. "Uh, actually, it's not really my say, it's Nazz's house, she should really - "

"Where is this Nazz? Must we use violence to rid the proud one of his domicile?"

"Papa," offered Rolf, "Nazz is but a woman."

"Ah! So we can rape her!"

"No, Papa."

"If it comes to such, we will! There will be no resistance!" He smacked Rolf on the back of his head hard enough to give his son whiplash. "Do not supercede my will again, boy! You are playing with inferno!"

"Ah, yes, Papa."

"Now, we go." He put his arm around Rolf and lifted his head so as not to cast an eye on Eddy or Kevin and he lead Rolf toward Nazz's house. "You boys go, live the rest of your days shamefully, in exile. We must be going, yes." And they went.

Eddy and Kevin watched Rolf's father and Rolf walk triumphantly to Nazz's house. "That's probably not gonna end up being good," Kevin said.

"Nope," replied Eddy.

A long pause of silence.

Kevin clapped his hands together. "Well, that deals with my problem. You wanna try an' find Jonny with me?"

"I dunno. I'm tryin'a' figure if watchin' Rolf's dad restructure Nazz's house is gonna be worth the trouble of listening to him blab his mouth."

"Oh, man, Nazz is gonna freak when she gets back." Kevin stood there, contemplating what to do. Waste his time away looking for Jonny or follow the new administration's rise to power. Eddy was in the same predicament. Either way, he felt safe. Rolf's dad knew what to do. He was strong. Smart. Most of all, he was an adult. He knew what to do. It wasn't just the kids ruling like in that book with the fat kid who wears glasses on an island and dies.

Nazz stood at the edge of Main Street, her heart in her throat. She felt weak and sweaty, lightheaded and shaky, and it wasn't even the sight of Peach Creek's devastation that had done it to her. She'd felt sick since the Cul-de-Sac. Maybe her fear was taking a physical toll. She'd always had a bad habit of taking her anxiety and fear and hiding it somewhere deep within herself; she'd stow her weaknesses away under rickety chairs in her mind, and she'd pay no heed to them till they'd break and send everything crashing down inside her.

She really should have seen this one coming. She should have known the destruction and chaos would screw her up something awful. She could feel the tears welling up on her lower eyelids.

She took a look around, checking for sexual predators or looters or combinations thereof, then sat on the ground of the empty lot sandwiched between the AKA Shoes and the Leaving Peach Creek sign heading out of town, leaning against the wall of the shoe store. She pulled her knees up, crossed her arms over them and laid her head in them to cry.

But she couldn't. The cork wouldn't pop out. The brimming tears hung in place on their ledges and refused to move. Suddenly she wanted to punch and kick things, tear her hair out, scream, do anything to let it all out. But she thought better of it; not here, where anybody could hear and come running. You never know who's prowling the streets when the law falls apart, waiting to rob or rape or generally terrorize.

Nazz allowed herself only to bang the back of her head on the concrete wall of AKA Shoes as she tried to take her mind off the mounting frustration and rage inside her. But all her mind turned to were terrible, terrible things. Her missing parents. The hundreds of thousands of people, millions of people dead across the country and apparently the world. The uncomfortable sense of End Times creeping up on her with the onslaught of impossible natural disaster. Hell must have been freezing over. The Devil getting ready to spill his seed across the globe. Rapture.

But Nazz didn't believe in the Rapture. She was an agnostic. It was the only way to be wholly non-denominational. To keep all choices at arm's length. And her parents ate it all up.

She kicked herself for refusing Kevin's offer of one of his father's many pistols. It wasn't like Kevin would be out much. Ten bullets out of the eight hundred or so locked up in the gun cabinet.

What was she even planning to do? Find her parents, Jonny's parents? Did she hope to find her or Jonny's dad with his leg trapped under a fallen beam, trapping the others? Did she hope she'd run into them on the way back? Did she think she'd follow them like a hunter on their tracks through Peach Creek and into the city? Save the day and all that jazz? She didn't know what she thought.

She thought about turning around and going back. She wasn't abandoning anyone or anything. Just being smart. Her parents, Jonny's parents, they were all fine. Caught up in some big long line at the National Guard, waiting for rations and supplies. Coming back from gathering rations. Dead in an aftershock, under ten tons of rubble or lined up in a ditch, their pockets emptied by murderous drifters on the broken roads.

Nazz shook her head. She told herself everything was going to be okay. It always had been for her. Her mom's cancer scare had turned out to be nothing. The time she thought she'd broken her leg in the creek, she'd been fine. And she'd gotten Kevin to carry her a ways. That was great. Everything was gonna be okay.

Even though some shrieking, creaking, weakened part of her inside was screaming otherwise.

But she didn't even believe in the apocalypse.

Jonny knew they were dead just by the color of them, and the fact that they hung from their necks. They were blue, like Jonny's thumb when he'd wrapped it all up in rubber bands and his dad screamed at him he could have lost his finger for it. They were blue, because they'd suffocated to death.

Jonny propped Plank up against an oak cousin, and he was sure to turn his friend's face away from the grisly scene as he pulled his pocket knife and scaled the branch overhead to cut them down.

Jonny hardly thought about Plank at all during the endless minutes he took cutting Jimmy's parents from their nooses. All he could think about was hopelessness. He didn't feel hopeless, certainly not that hopeless, and his heart strained at the thought that they'd gotten that bad. They must have figured it was all over, that it would only get worse, that there was no saving the earth now. Jonny could tell Jimmy's dad was weak, but he'd never suspected it of Jimmy's mom.

What a horrible thing they'd done. They'd left poor little Jimmy all alone.

When their bodies dropped, Jimmy's dad's legs broke. Jonny'd never seen a compound fracture before, and he got so lightheaded at the sight he nearly passed out. He sat a moment, then pulled their bodies out straight, next to one another, and hid them with brush. Then he set off back toward the back of the Cul-de-Sac. They'd hung themselves only a hundred feet from their own backyards. Jonny could hear Eddy's piercing voice even that far into the woods.

Halfway back to his backyard, he remembered he'd left Plank with Jimmy's family and ran back to grab him.

Eddy and Kevin decided one of them needed to keep control of Rolf's father as he pillaged Nazz's house, leaving Kevin alone to search for Jonny and that old hunk of wood as Eddy broke off from Kevin at the Van Bartonschmeer residence and went inside to watch the show. He only wished he had popcorn.

Eddy followed Rolf and the older Rolf through the battered remains of Nazz's house's front door and walked in on Rolf and his father rifling through the kitchen, with Double Dee trapped cowering in the corner screaming at Mr. Rolf's Dad to "please be reasonable!" surrounded by the shattered remnants of Nazz's tea set. Rolf was frantic and his father calm and collected, brutally dismantling the cabinets and refrigerator. The large old man tossed the items he determined as refuse over his shoulder, and Rolf caught each item, gently placing one after the other in a stack on the kitchen table, struggling to keep up with his dad's pace. "Papa!" Rolf shouted desperately.

Double Dee locked eyes with Eddy and screamed, "Good lord, man, save yourself!"

Eddy looked from Double Dee to Rolf's father and watched the hulking foreigner tear off a cabinet door and determine a box of Corn Pops as inedible, flinging it away, sending his son flying across the kitchen and tackling it in the air, bolting back to the careful stack on the table and placing it at the top of its frail pyramidal shape. "Papa, you must take more care in your ransacking! Please, papa! You frighten the cowardly Ed Boy!"

Rolf's father began flinging his trash at Double Dee, illiciting another set of screams from him as Rolf farted back and forth, catching each piece. Old Man Rolf pulled out a sack of potatoes, snorted their odor, found them satisfactory, and snapped open the burlap sack, throwing the potatoes inside. "Sweet papa, I beg you, unhand the Nazz girl's spud collection! Thus outburst holds no reason, papa!"

"My small, small boy, these items are ripe for the taking. We have rightfully overthrown the acting government of the, the, ah, Cul-de-Sac, therefore making their splendors ours for the taking."

"Papa, I fear the new country abides by unusual customs! This is not the way of these people!"

Rolf's father peered over his shoulder to regard his son. "But it is the way of ours! Please, Rolf, aid your frail father in his pillaging of goods! We must be prepared for your good cousin's arrival. Remember how his consumption habits last visit! They frightened your poor father!" Before the mountainous man could turn back around, he caught a glimpse of Eddy out of the corner of his eye, and turning his broad, chuffing form to face him, glowering over him. Double Dee wheezed a desperate request at Eddy again, begging him to leave. But before Eddy could process Double Dee's words, Rolf's father roared, "You dare refute the leadership capabilities of Freddie Friedbjorn Giertrolv?"

Eddy gaped at the huge man, turned his eyes to Doible Dee's terrified face for a moment, then looked back at Friedbjorn, putting on a stern face, jutting his lower jaw to make it look like he had a chin and, moreover, a strong one. "Is that English you're speakin'?"

"To the deathlands with you!" screamed Freddie, Mr. Rolf's Dad, as he grabbed Eddy by his shirt and hoisted him from the Earth's sweet embrace, sending his tiny little legs swinging, kicking through the air in a desperate struggle to find purchase. "Papa, no!" reprimanded Rolf impotently as Double Dee wailed behind them.

Eddy heard a small pair of feet stomping down the stairs behind him as he gave up his search for ground, letting his legs dangle limp from his torso, which had been engulfed in Rolf's father's grasp.

"Just who the fuck are you supposed to be!" shrieked a low, grating voice from the foot of the stairs.

Freddie Giertrolv looked past Eddy, who craned his neck around to see Sarah mounting the floor in a stern position, the very placement of her legs apart and firmly pressed to the floor and her hands on her hips a challenge to Freddie's hierarchical pedigree.

"What is this? Do I now face two foes over the throne of the neighborhood?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, mister, but this is Nazz's house and she's gonna be very fuckin' angry at you if you mess anything in her house up!"

"You are but a puny girl, ripe for sexual advances! You pose no threat to Friedbjorn! I will -" Sarah cut him off by her lifting one leg, yanking her shoe off, and launching it at Friedbjorn's head. Eddy ducked, retracting his head into his shoulders like a turtle into its shell as the shoe sailed over his hair, smacking Freddie's cheek and sending ripples across his face, skewing his mouth and lips as they tried to form words. In a rage, Friedbjorn spiked Eddy into the floor and balled up his fists.

"Sarah?" cried Jimmy's weak voice from upstairs. "Sarah, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Jimmy," Sarah shouted, glaring at Friedbjorn, "I just gotta take out some'a Nazz's trash!"

"Insolent girl!" shrieked Friedbjorn, his face flush in embarrassment, following it up with the frenzied wail of "I will bring you to none other than your very maker!" quickly and as if it were all one word.

Eddy looked up to see Rolf cowering behind his father, gnawing away at his nails like a woodchipper eats through a log.

Kevin cast his gaze back toward Nazz's house at the sound of shrieking voices as he rounded Double Dee's house, taking the street out of the Cul-de-Sac, banking around Double Dee's backyard and into the woods. If Jonny was anywhere, he was in those damn woods.

As he turned into the treeline, he looked both ways down the street running the woods' length. In several places, the road was fractured. Every house lining the street had been damaged in some way. It was like a nightmare for Kevin. He feared nothing like societal collapse. All rules and boundaries broken down. Anything could happen. There would be no order any more. And there was no filter between him and the hell scape of the world now, not if his dad never came back.

If this was as bad as the news had made it out to be, he figured he might never see his mom again, not like that was such a bad thing since she broke it off with dad. But the prospect of his father never coming home terrified Kevin. He really would be all alone in the world then. He would have to be a leader not only over the other kids on the block, if things fell through with Mr. Rolf's Dad, but over himself as well. He had to run his own life without his father's sage guidance.

Kevin was barely there in the woods behind the Cul-de-Sac he called home when Jonny saw him moving among the trees in his trance. All Jonny saw was the lifelessness behind Kevin's eyes then, and he was afraid.

But still, Jonny called out to Kevin, if only to attempt to assuage his fears.

And, like a Godsend, Kevin snapped from his trance and turned toward Jonny. "Ole woodboy, dude," Kevin said, quickly approaching him as if thankful to see him for once, "we were looking all over for ya."

"You were looking for me? Why?" Jonny asked, worried about what he'd done or what they thought of his discovery of the fissure in the woods to make them mad at him.

"We were worried about you, dude. The whole world's coming down around us, if you didn't know."

Kevin's smile faded as he noticed Jonny's stiffness, taking on the attributes of Plank, regarding Kevin with anxiety and no small amount of fear and confusion. Kevin could see in Jonny's furrowed brow and steadily working adam's apple that all he wanted right now was for Kevin to take the reigns. "You okay, dude?"

"I think I need to show you something, Kevin. Follow me." Kevin noticed Jonny was clutching a flat headed shovel with white knuckles. It seemed Kevin wasn't the only one walking through the woods that morning with something on his mind.

Eddy slipped past Rolf and Friedbjorn and huddled with Double Dee in the corner as Sarah faced off with the blue human sasquatch, watching them scream back and forth. Jimmy stood behind Sarah, propped up on well-worn crutches, egging Sarah on with confident cries of war. "Who died and made you king of shit mountain?" taunted Sarah as Jimmy stuck his tongue out at good ole Freddie.

"The proprietorship of this arena were rightfully ceded to myself and my kin through agreement! No blood has been shed for this land! But it soon shall be!" Friedbjorn was huffing and puffing like an enraged bull and the only thing keeping him off Sarah was Rolf's straining figure, his own work boots planted in the linoleum tile of the floor and arms bulging with muscle. "Papa! I beg of you!" Rolf grunted.

"What kinda dipshit 'ceded' you this land?" Her voice slipped from testosterone-driven bravado to the whiny, I-told-you-so voice of a girl Sarah's age. "This is the private property of Nazz Van Bartonschmeer, and she ain't even here to cede the thing to ya!"

"This country's infernal legal boundaries aggravate Friedbjorn Giertrolv!" Friedbjorn rolled up his sleeves. "I would prefer this indignance come to blows!"

"What, are ya gonna beat up a girl? This isn't your place to pillage, Mr. Caterpillar Lip!"

"You insult Friedbjorn!" screamed Freddie with Rolf straining to hold him back.

"Listen, Lumberjack Bigfoot, I don't know who said you could have our Cul-de-Sac but whoever it was musta had their teeth clackin' outta their butts!"

"Who's land is this, woman? Who leads this land? You tell me this boy lies to not only Friedbjorn, but his beloved son Rolf as well?" wailed the shrieking tea kettle that was Rolf's father, pointing at Eddy, who tried to make himself as small as possible.

"That kid's not our leader, you idiot! He's just some moron with hair moose! If anyone runs this place, it sure as hell ain't him!"

"This leader must be you then, Banshee?"

"You're damn tootin' I am! Now get the hell outta my friend's house!"

"You are but a frail girl! You know nothing of legislation!"

"Who says I gotta be a lawyer? I got good business sense!" she sneered, jabbing her thumb at herself. "If you think you're such a good leader, go start up a dictatorship of Wilfred and the other stupid animals over there at your house!"

Freddie stepped back and Rolf tumbled forward, hitting the floor, then quickly scrambling back up. "You think you know better than Freddie Friedbjorn Giertrolv? Better than his beloved son Rolf Giertrolv? If you think this is true, go forth and grasp the unable dead hand of the hen, yes? And let her drag you into the barren soil! Your loved ones will rot in dead earth, yes! Come, beloved Rolf! We are leaving!"

Friedbjorn stomped out. Rolf followed him closely, pivoting on his hip to smile guiltily to his friends, waving goodbye with a nervous chuckle.

Friedbjorn slammed the busted front door behind him, and it fell off its hinges. "Who needs 'em!" shouted Sarah in triumph. "Oh, Sarah," grinned Jimmy, limping forward and clutching Sarah, "you're my hero!"

Eddy let go of Double Dee, standing in the destroyed kitchen, trying to look noble. "I held my ground on 'im too, ya know." Sarah and Jimmy sneered at Eddy.

"Yeah, right," Jimmy said indignantly, and Sarah helped him back up the stairs to his bed. "What are you even doin' down here, silly? You gotta get your rest, work your strength back up!"

"You're right, Sarah. But I just couldn't miss the juicy stuff!"

Eddy grunted and walked out. He could tell Double Dee was watching him, pitying him as he went, which turned his stomach over hot and popping, like a strip of bacon on a hot skillet. "Thank you, Eddy," he said.

"Yeah, right," mumbled Eddy on his way out, leaving Double Dee alone in the wreck of the kitchen.

Double Dee stood and put his hands on his hips among the carnage. "Oh dear," he said, and then set about work to right everything. There was much to do but he was feeling better, and he was capable. By the time Nazz was back, yessiree, he'd have everything back in tip-top shape. He was sure of it.

And before long, Eddy shuffled back in and went about joining Double Dee in his cleaning, quiet but for intermittent mumbling. He wouldn't look up to meet Double Dee's gaze. Poor Eddy, Double Dee thought. It may have been hard to tell sometimes, but there was a lot of good in Eddy, even if no one else saw it, including Eddy himself.

Kevin took his hat off and ran his hand through his already thinning red hair before snapping the backwards cap back into place on his noggin. He was pale and felt that way, standing over the rotting bodies of Jimmy's parents out in the woods behind the Cul-de-Sac.

He could barely catch a hold of his breathing, just barely keeping it in control enough to make sure Jonny didn't think anything of it, but it was all getting to be just too much. Jonny's eyes were boring a hole in his head, and, goddamnit, it felt just like Plank's were digging in too. They wanted him to do something about this, and Kevin could surmise what he thought Jonny wanted, but not what needed to be done. God, what even needed to be done? It was all too much.

Jonny hadn't needed to open his yap to tell Kevin what had happened to them. Jonny hadn't even taken the nooses off their necks. Hell, maybe he'd tried, but the rope had burrowed too deep into their throats to dig out without tearing them up. The rope loops looked like they crushed Jimmy's mom and dad's necks to half their size.

Buying time, Kevin took his hat off again and ran his hand through his hair again, replaced the cap again. "Fuck, man," he mumbled, remembering to be self-conscious about the parts of his head where you could see through the mop of red. Just one more fucking insult to injury. Kevin thought about how few parents they had left. Rolf's dad and Ed and Sarah's parents. Maybe his dad if he ever came back. He'd come back. So would Nazz and Jonny's parents. They'd all come back. Not Jimmy's parents though. They were too far gone. Their eyes were empty, shrivelling up. They'd filmed over gray. Did all dead bodies do that? And did they all smell so rank? They'd both shit themselves.

"Alright," Kevin said, stepping in close to Jonny, who stepped in close too, and the two boys were inches apart, chins jutting over each other's shoulders, Kevin's chin especially. "Look, Jonny, we can't tell Jimmy about this. Not yet. We can't tell Ed or Sarah either. They'd blab for sure. We keep this between you and me, alright? And I'll figure something out, okay?"

Jonny listened intently, nodding intermittently, looking at the side of Kevin's head just as often. Kevin knew that in some strange part of Jonny's head he was eating this up, not the deaths, just this interaction. Kevin knew he was bringing Jonny in with him on this. He was making this whole thing clandestine, putting it just between the two of them. Now, for however brief an interim before decision time, Jonny had something with Kevin, just Kevin, that connected them and brought them close like they were as Kevin spoke with him then. Jonny ate it all up like he hadn't had a meal in months. He was desperate for anything to bring him close to anybody.

So Kevin clapped a hand on the back of Jonny's neck, and he pulled away from their huddle, Jonny mirroring his movements, trying to look like he and Kevin were on the same page. Kevin looked at Jonny and Jonny back at him, brow knitted in solemn solidarity, and Jonny nodded affirmative at Kevin, because Jonny thought that was what he was supposed to do.

After that, Kevin and Jonny walked back to the Cul-de-Sac around the Lane, and Kevin scraped Jonny off when he went home. He watched Jonny walk sadly back across the street, Plank in hand, before heading through his house, grabbing his bike from the garage. He headed out the back, skewing the loose board in the wooden fence separating his house from the Lane, and he went out on a joy ride to calm his nerves.

He rode through the construction site, saw one of the skeletal house frames had collapsed in the earthquake, the other frail with damage. He rode past the Park N' Flush, which seemed to be living life business as usual. At Kevin's distance, he couldn't see much in the way of damage like he'd seen with the houses on the Cul-de-Sac. Maybe mobile homes were better protected from shifting tectonic plates. Like Peach Creek was close to a tectonic plate anyways.

Past the trailer park, Kevin, out of curiosity, rode his baby over to Peach Creek Jr. High, where he found the bleachers at the football field partially collapsed, which sucked. Most of the school's windows were busted out. Kevin biked the perimeter of the school and found no cars, so he gently hid his bike in the bushes, knocked the glass out of one of the busted windows and climbed inside. He wandered around the school's dark halls alone, his footsteps the only ones echoing up and down the length of the corridors. It was strange being the only one in the school. He was so used to it being full up of loud kids and other losers his age.

He left pretty quickly. It was creepy being there alone. Not because of the usual fear he thought would send him running from places like that, the one that took his echoing footsteps and made him ask himself whether or not the more distant echoes were even his, if there was someone else in there with him, if he was in serious danger. No. He was afraid because walking around the school with it empty as it was really drove home the idea of End of the World. Like he was the last man on Earth. It was terrifying. Creepifying. For how much he thought the other kids on the block were morons, jerk-offs, or losers, he was terrified of losing them and being totally and completely alone.

He took his bike and rode around the neighborhood some more, then took it by Main Street Peach Creek and looked for Nazz. He couldn't find her or she wasn't there. He looked off toward the highway, which lead to the city, and the hair stood up on the back of his neck.

He rode back to the Cul-de-Sac, ignoring the abrasive shouts of a burly man on Main Street trying to get him to stop, and speeding up at the sound of a gunshot behind him that echoed across Peach Creek. Riding past the woods, he looked over through the treeline and saw a figure among the trees, which startled him until he realized it was just Jonny, looking as sad and lonely as always.

Kevin put his bike up in the garage, locked it up to his dad's maintenance table, and went on a long walk again, kind of looking for Jonny, kind of wanting to be alone. He wandered out past the barren bed of the creek, past the back of the Park N' Flush, and over to the fissure in the woods, from which wavered heat mirages that rippled across the woods beyond, warping their forms into twisted shapes.

Kevin sat as close as he dared get, and he listened to the scraping making its way up toward him from the glowing hellish pit. Dread worked its way up from his stomach, hot and acidic, into his throat and he threw up in the tarnished soil next to the fissure, and he just couldn't get the image of Jonny's face looking at him from the woods out of his head.

Soon it was dusk, and Marie Kanker was masturbating with the jet blast of her bath's detachable shower head when she heard screaming outside her and her sisters' trailer at the Park N' Flush. She could have been mistaken, but she could've sworn it was that twerp Oscar from a couple trailers down, the forty-year-old jerk-off who grabbed her tit that once time when she was hanging up the laundry outside.

She was up and out of the bath before much longer, wrapped up in a towel moments later, leaving the jetting shower head to blast its spray into the bubbles of the bath. As she hurried out to join her sisters, the shower head floated around, and its jet blast started spraying out across the room.

"What's the big idea?" she demanded, heading down the stairs to join May, who'd been sitting on the ratty old couch, reading a monster comic book, but was now leering out the window into the trailer park beyond. "Is that that loser Oscar doin' all that yellin'?"

Lee joined them from the kitchen, gnawing on a strip of fish from the mom's leftovers in the fridge.

"There's somethin' out there, girls," May whispered to her sisters. "There's somethin' in ole Mammy's house."

The piled up to the window behind the couch, out to the golden light of the late afternoon. They looked out toward the trailer facing theirs, at the door that used to bar the bugs from crawlin' up inside. But it wasn't there no more, and all they saw inside was the dark.

It was then that Oscar started screaming again, and May, Lee and Marie piled out of their house and followed the noises. They was big girls. They could take whatever old spook that was fuckin' with that Oscar jerk-off.

A moment later, they saw the result of Oscar's screams as he came stumbling around the side of his trailer, clutching his mangled fingers, his jaw dripping blood from the claw mark splitting his face into quarters. May screamed and Lee clamped a hand over her mouth.

But it was too late. There was thudding around in ole Mammy's trailer, and the wall of the Airstream tore open and Hell poured out at the sisters, who joined May in screaming.

Double Dee, good ol' pure-of-heart Double Dee had convinced Eddy to go through with visiting Ed. Eddy was still nervous, Double Dee still weak and wobbly, but they made it up the stairs, maneuvering around the nasally tones of Ray Romano's voice in the living room. Ed met them at the top of the stairs with a big, goofy grin that made Eddy feel alright, if only for the briefest of moments. He grabbed them both up in a big bear hug, which made Eddy feel better. They went and said hi to Ed's sickly mom, who only looked more sickly and smelt more of shit, which made Eddy feel worse, and she shooed Ed away to take his friends down to his room to hang out. Sweet lady, Ed's mom.

Ed was all too happy to comply. They went down and watched TV for a while. Watched the news, which made everyone feel worse, except maybe Ed, who was just confused. Double Dee and Eddy watched the television tell tales of nightmarish human suffering. A woman got trapped under rubble in her apartment building in the city and they had to saw her leg off to save her. A man's dogs were killed when his house collapsed in Lemon Brook. Nobody's homes were fortified for earthquakes out here, experts said. There aren't supposed to be earthquakes in Peach Creek.

After a couple hours, they heard the screaming. They climbed out the basement window and stood out in the street, listening to the screams coming from the trailer park. It was the kind that sent shivers up the Eds' spines. Kanker noises. There were others too, screaming. Men and women. Unfamiliar voices. Soon, the Eds weren't the only ones out in the street. Sarah came out, Jonny limping with her on his crutches, Rolf and Friedbjorn, and Ed's dad came out too before they heard another scream from closer by.

Eddy knew the voice immediately. They all did. It was Jonny. Eddy wondered if Kevin had found him. He wondered if the melonhead had just fallen down the fissure. Everyone was quiet for a moment, even Mr. Rolf's Dad, who usually was not, and all turned their heads to the noise.

The loud BOOM of a shotgun blast echoed across the valley like thunder. BOOM, another.

The boys, girls, and men stood in silence, waiting for another sound. "Rolf, fetch me the elephant gun from the sunroom!" snapped Friedbjorn. Rolf replied quickly with a "Yes, Papa!" and he tore off to the house.

Eddy and the others watched as Kevin came running in from beyond the Cul-de-Sac, running full-tilt, full-adrenaline mode, not looking at the others as he ran across the yards and rammed into his own house.

The others stood in confusion. Kevin came out again wielding his trusty baseball bat in both hands and he came running out into the street.

Behind Eddy, he could hear, "Papa! The rifle for you!"

But Friedbjorn was not listening; he was watching as Kevin went running back around out from the street, baseball bat in hand. Offended at Kevin's masculinity, Freddie ran to catch up with the boy.

Eddy, Sarah, and Ed went running after Freddie and after Kevin. Kevin peeled off down the lane. It was getting dark outside, the shadows were growing long, and the lane was capped in darkness from hanging trees. Kevin skidded to a stop, waiting.

The others stood, waiting. Rolf's dad did not. He saw Kevin stop, then turned and bounded back toward the cul-de-sac to get the elephant gun off Rolf.

Eddy was distracted by this when he heard Kevin shout, "Oh shit!" and he whipped his head back around to see a man, although it was hard to make out in the gathering darkness, and at the distance, a man fully cloaked in shadow, come running from out of the shadows of the woods beyond the Lane, straight at Kevin. Eddy thought the guy had freakishly big ears at first, which was strange. He didn't realize what they really were until later.

Kevin was running backwards away from the shadowy thing, no, not shadowy, Eddy realized, but pure, sleek black in color. Kevin was trying to turn around and keep an eye on the thing at the same time as it came rushing toward him. Kevin swung at the matte black creature and it swung its arm at him, shattering the bat and ripping bloody claw marks down Kevin's chest as he fell, backwards, onto his ass.

Eddy saw the thing look up at him, at all of them, with glowing red eyes, and saw it suddenly turn and run straight through the fence, tearing it to shreds as it went. Eddy and the others ran down the road, back to the Cul-de-Sac, to follow the thing as it was going.

Rolf and his dad were in the middle of the street, Friedbjorn in possession of the elephant gun with Rolf helping him load it, swearing up a storm in whatever language was their native tongue. When Eddy made it to the street, he couldn't see the black thing anymore.

Then it threw itself out the front bay window of Kevin's house and landed in the grass with all the shattered glass, didn't even slow down and kept running, running straight at Rolf and his father (and Jimmy, who was slowly making his way across the cul-de-sac on his crutches).

The two men ran backward from the creature (Jimmy fell over) and Friedbjorn dragged the gun along the asphalt as he went, and just as the creature was turning out of their way, Freddie swung the gun up and aimed the elephant gun at it and fired, tearing it off its feet and sending it hard onto the pavement, smoke rising off its chest.

The creature slid to a stop and laid there. Rolf and his father and the others, including Eddy but not including Jimmy, who laid on Kevin's yard crying out for Sarah, began to walk toward the prone creature. Sarah cut away from the others and went to help Jimmy.

Eddy saw that those weren't ears. They were huge, curved horns ending in pin-prick points.

Freddie reloaded the elephant gun, handed it off to Rolf himself. Rolf aimed unsteadily at the creature, eyes wide and wild in fear. His arms shook. Freddie pulled out a large hunting knife from his belt and continued toward the creature. Slowly. Steadily.

Freddie was up on it, ready to cut its throat when it roared back to life, showing huge yellow, pointed teeth that chomped and hungered, snapping at Freddie and sending its long talons up into the father's overhanging gut, lifting him up off the ground as it rose to its feet, and Eddy swore it sounded just like fabric tearing listening to the creature rip up Freddie's insides. It tore him up just enough to put him down and then it was off again, but Rolf finally pulled off a shot at it, knocking it halfway over, off its balance, continued running until -

- Ed came running at it and slammed into the creature with all his strength, knocking the creature down onto the asphalt facedown. It was flailing and growling and roaring as Ed held it down. It warbled incomprehensible language and screamed and screamed. Its voice was like metal scraping metal, like a percussion instrument had learned to speak like a man, its tone and pitch rising, falling, twisting and turning as if cycling through different, disparate voices, some low and baritone, others higher and ear-piercing.

Rolf dropped the gun and went to his father's side. "Papa!"

Eddy decided it was up to him now and ran into Double Dee's house to some duct tape, which was the obvious thing to look for.

He tore through enough things to hurt Double Dee's feelings, but finally he found it, and he came running out again and began pulling off strips. Double Dee was huffing at the door when Eddy came running out of it.

The creature was still pinned under Ed's weight but was clawing at him, still shrieking its angry, impossible language, and had gotten a few good hits here and there on his legs and forearms. Ed helped pulled the creature's arms together, careful of its talons, and held them as Eddy wrapped them in duct tape until he was out of the roll, then he ran back inside for more. Soon, Eddy and Ed had the creature's arms and legs bound.

Double Dee approached them, gaping down at the sleep black humanoid figure hog-tied on the asphalt. Some foreign, alien thing in the Cul-de-Sac.

Fascinating.

"My lord." The creature's hot red eyes turned to look Double Dee in his and Double Dee stepped back in tentative fright, staring at it as Eddy and Ed hung over its powerful, bucking body, huffing and puffing. Double Dee struggled to speak and failed to make his throat croak words at first.

Then, he said, "Quick. Let's get it to my house, shall we?" Eddy sneered at him.

"No!" Rolf shouted. He rose from his father's side and approached the beast with the elephant gun. He snapped it open and pulled forth the empty shell. Reached into his pocket to replace it.

"No, Rolf!" shouted Double Dee in a panic, but it was too late. Rolf snapped the gun shut, took aim, and fired the shell directly at the black beast's head. But nothing happened but ricochet.

Kevin clambered up to his feet. "What the fuck?" he wondered aloud.

The three Eds watched Rolf pick his father up, wrap an arm around himself, and help the dying man back to their suburban farmhouse. Rolf spoke lyrically in his native tongue to his moaning father as blood poured readily from his opened gut, splattering the asphalt like the pitter-patter of heavy rain. Ed was the first to realize; Rolf was singing to his father.

Then, when Rolf and his father were inside their house with their door shut, they turned to Sarah, who nursed an injured Jimmy as Kevin came through the hole in the fence, looking at the massive hole torn in the back wall of his house. "What the fuck?" He walked through the path the beast took through his home, passing through new thresholds where walls used to be, and soon he was in the street with the others, watching Jimmy cry.

"What the fuck?"

Kevin looked up across the street to see Ed, Edd, n' Eddy hoist the sleek black beast up between them and carry it toward Double Dee's house. "What the fuck?'

And Nazz took precisely the wrong moment to walk back into the Cul-de-Sac. "What the fuck?" Kevin wondered one last time as a concerned Nazz approached him. "Kevin? What happened, dude?" she asked, terrified.

"I don't think everything's gonna be okay, Nazz. Call it a hunch, but I don't think it's all gonna be alright."