Lying on her bed in her room, Kira's arms crossed and rested over her eyes. She had a pounding headache, persisting now for days that rarely had her out other than at night. A persistent dryness made her throat scratchy, she overheated routinely when trying to sleep, leading to many restless days. To her fortunate, there was little activity in the Palace and even Lady Carmilla had not called for her presence the last few days, she did send servants to give her books and records to study on. Kira was thankful that she had taken the human's request seriously. Though surprising it was that the Empress aloud for it, she did feel a little better knowing there was more than a physical relationship between them.
Despite her headache, Kira was happy to have something to keep her busy, to keep her mind occupied. Without distractions, every thought returned to the wine cellar, returned to Eona, to her lips, her tongue-Oye, knock it off. Kira shook her head huffing, the heat crawling below her waist. Fuck. She groaned crossing her legs, turning over and burying her face in her pillow. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did she have to do that? Clenching her pillow she yelled into it. It was easier just to hate her. Turning onto her back, she stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars taped to her ceiling. What the hell am I supposed to do now? She's not gonna stop and Carmilla will never let me go.
Kira sat up, rubbing her throbbing neck, the Stigma felt hotter than her body. Her phone's screen lit up; a message from Emily.
U still feeling sick?
Calling was she feels 'sick' was a bit of an exaggeration, more of increased symptoms from their last conversation. It was worrying, but not something she wanted to describe over the phone. She did not want to leave a trail, leave evidence to cause worry...or a threat. The last thing she needed was for someone to plant a seed of doubt in the Empress's ear, or spread a rumor among the Game that threatens her position at the Empress's side. If that position had not been threatened or forfeited already. Kira held her head in her hands. If I'm not careful I'll be killed.
Looking down to her phone another message lit up the screen.
U alive there?
She chuckled, grabbing the phone.
Yes to the first, barley to the second. Headache is killin me. Finished the meds you gave me already.
A minute later Kira's phone buzzed with a phone call.
"I'm coming to get you, be outside in half an hour." Emily said, the wind blaring into the phone. She must be in her convertible with the roof down.
Grabbing her jacket, Kira stopped, staring at the scarlet scarf folded neatly on her dresser. She sighed, grabbing it. It was her safety blanket because of who it was from, no matter how much time passes or what was ever done. I never could really hate her. Wrapping it around her neck, she goes into the hallway, silently shutting the door behind. The moment the door closed, something began to dig into her back, her scar burned, her neck was dry as a desert. She clasped her hand over her throat, nearly collapsing on her knees, but was able to prevent it by grabbing the doorframe. What the-
The sound of wood splintering caught her attention. Kira looked at the door frame, pulling her hand away. Wood was broken, the wall partly indented matching where her fingers were. A cold sweat went down her back, she stared at her hand, wide-eyed, unbelieving how she managed to do that.
"Kira?"
The human shot up, Eona tilted her head wearing concerned on her face. Her eyes alternated from a frightened Kira to the wall the back. Clenching her teeth, Kira forced herself up, fixing her hair, bracing herself against the wall. Breathing heavily through her nose, she ignored Eona's calling, she took a single step-Eona caught her as she fell over.
"Hey!" Eona exclaimed about to call for help.
Kira grabbed her arm.
"Don't you fucking dare." The human threatened, "Emily is already on her way-I just need to get to her. Don't say a word."
With mixed emotions Eona nodded, helping Kira to walk downstairs. The moment the car arrived, the vampire moved the human instantly to it, the roof already up, sliding her first before entering herself. Emily's eyes widened, Eona made her intentions clear.
"Go."
In the hospital, Kira was kept in Emily's private office and patient room adjacent. Quickly downgrading her attire, to her reluctance, but Doctor Sander's orders Eona helped her undress her upper body. It was the first time Eona had seen the Stigma, a great source of guilt and pain for her. Kira was right, no matter Eona's justification, she abandoned her friend and ran away. The woman's closeness to her aunt, their relationship was because of her absence and it was no wonder. Kira was a human alone in the Palace, nearly dying because of a vampire and was cared for and comforted by the one person who could give an absolute protection to her from others.
It was survival Eona told herself. Kira had no choice, but to accept that protection and the cost that came with it. Those feelings, if any, were only admiration, appreciation towards the one who protected her. Eona hoped to herself that if there were feelings between them it was not like what they had shared, she hoped that those feelings between her and Kira had not disappeared. She did not think they had, afterall, Kira constantly wore the scarf she had given her.
"Not a word." Kira growled, an ice blanket over her upper body.
Eona smirked, sitting back, her legs open and arm hanging over the side of the couch. She looked like a confidante woman, knowing what she wanted, how she wanted, and who she wanted and right now that passion was focused on her.
"Whatever do you mean?" Eona asked with a smirk.
Kira glared, "Not a fucking word to Carmilla or Jake."
Frowning, "Do you really think so low of me?" Eona asked raising a brow, "That I would tell the one making you sick-"
"I'm not sick!" Snapped Kira angrily, "Carmilla didn't do anything this-!" She panted, "This is from the son of a bitch who almost killed me!"
Eona jumped at Kira's raised voice, Emily entered bringing with her a couple medication bottles, a black, labelless bottle, a glass of water, and a mortar and pestle.
"If you two are done bickering like an old married couple-"
Kira gave the obvious look of being pissed at Emily's comment.
"Oh shut up." The doctor rolled her eyes, "It was just an expression. I can hear you down the hall, unless you do want Carmilla to find out this stays between the three of us."
At the table behind Eona, the doctor set down her ingredients. From one jar came sugar, from the black bottle the doctor tossed three condensed powdery cubes of coffee and an additive. Mixing them together in the mortar until a fine powder, she mixed the concoction into water and mixed until dissolved. Brining the glass to her eye for visual inspection, she turned to Kira, offering the glass to her.
"Take this, the symptoms should go away for a while."
Kira downed it in two gulps. Making a disgusted face, "Needs more creamer."
The doctor laughed, "Well there is powdered creamer so that should do the trick, biggest thing are the coffee cubes with my secret ingredient." She said shaking the black, labeless bottle, "I've never given it to a human before, but its not deadly, just not meant for you."
Eona looked at the bottle suspiciously.
"Its a suppressant." Doctor Sanders explained, "Helps reduce thirst, strength-think of it as a vampire ability nullifier, well experimental. Its easy to make, I can have a whole pack for you by the end of the week, just drop one or two in your drink and the symptoms will go away."
"It can't be that easy..." Eona looked to Kira, "How long as this been going on?"
"Only the last couple weeks, started just before you came back to the Palace." Kira shrugged, "But today...that hasn't happened before."
"So crushing a door frame is not normal?" The Pureblood looked back to the doctor, "I thought the Stigma was suppose to stop her from turning."
Emily leaned against the table, "And it has, Kira is human, but there will always be side effects. Hers was not something normally done, I had to do a lot of last-second adjustments from the original brand, be lucky it worked as a tattoo instead of a hot poker."
Kira took off the ice blanket, her temperature returning to normal, though now she was cold. Whatever that special ingredient was it did the trick, she felt instantly better like cold glacier water was going down her throat, like she was being rejuvenated from within spreading throughout all parts of her body. She was grateful, especially with how miserable she had been for the last few days, though the sudden appearance of these symptoms was concerning. However, if Emily said that she was human and was not going to turn then there was no need for concern. Curing cancer is not a painless endeavour and stopping a human mid-turn from becoming a vampire had never been done before. She would take what she could get and bet grateful.
Eona's fierce protectiveness of Kira was unjustified and it would win no favors from the human, but...it was different than when they were children. Back then, Eona always obey what Carmilla had said, the Empress was first and foremost her family and one of her only living relatives. She was girly and shy, but adventurous; this version of her, this woman was confidate, protective, and unwavering. You really did change. Kira dropped her head a little. We both did, maybe too much for us to ever be like we were before.
Feeling for the buzzing in her pocket, Kira removed her phone from her pocket seeing a message from Carmilla.
Where are you?
She needed to think of a convincing lie, fast.
With Doc Sanders and Lady Eona at the hospital. Doc called to have a quick exam to give me a prescription to help with some problems.
It was better to ask for forgiveness later than be caught in a lie.
What problems?
Her response was instant
"Uh, guys, little help here?" Kira ushered them over to her phone as she stalled.
It's...a bit embarrassing to talk about.
They read the messages.
You never have to be embarrassed about talking to me about when something is wrong.
Emily grabbed the phone, "Give me that." She said with annoyed disgusted, quickly typing a response. Hitting send she gave the phone back, "There that ought to be good enough."
Eona and Kira looked at the phone.
I...have monthly periods and my cramping got really bad.
The Pureblood looked away with a mixture of embarrassment and laughter while Kira slapped her head, "How the fuck did you know I was even on! I ended days ago!"
Emily smirked, "You wouldn't understand, but to vampires, humans each have a particular smell and...taste. It changes subtly depending on the state of the body."
"Meaning..."
"The more turned on you are the better your blood tastes." Eona chuckled, winking at the mortal.
Kira rolled her eyes, "Figured that much from Carmilla. Tell me something I don't know."
Emily and Eona looked at each other smiling, then in unison, "You smell like Cherry Blossoms."
A car from the Palace came and picked up Kira and Eona, much to Kira's dismay Carmilla was in attendance. Sitting across from her aunt and Kira, Eona watched out the window, seeing the city pass by.
"Are you feeling better?" Carmilla asked, pressing her shoulder against Kira, gently tracing circles on the younger woman's palm.
Eona averted and irritated glance.
Kira nodded shaking the paperbag with a small supply of what Doctor Sanders had on hand. If there were any more fits she would be okay for a few days. Carmilla smiled, leaning over and pressing her head against Kira's.
"Good, your health is very important to me."
A scoff came from Eona.
Carmilla tilted her head to her niece, "Is something about that difficult to believe?"
Eona waved her hand, "A bit; you know, the healthier she is, the more you can use her as your sex slave-"
Carmilla rose her hand-Eona's face went to the side, slapped with full force...by Kira. Both women were caught off guard. The anger, the fury, the fire in her eyes-a front.
"Don't you ever call me that!" Kira shouted red, "Whatever happens to me has nothing to do with you anymore!" She dropped back in the seat, just as they arrived at the Palace Kira slid out, slamming the door and jogged towards the garden.
Carmilla and Eona both watched her until she vanished behind the walls, both remaining in the car. After a few moments, Carmilla crossed her legs, adjusting her skirt.
"Must you be so obvious?"
Eona ran her fingers through her hair, "Must've learned it from you."
The Empress chuckled shaking her head, "My, you have changed. I remember when you would listen to every word I say, look up to me like I was your god."
"Until I grew up and realized gods didn't exist."
"Ah, but that is where you are wrong, they do exist, but I am not one of them. No..." Carmilla crossed her fingers and hung onto her knee, "I am Empress, the matriarch of all vampires. Blood or not this includes you and I do not appreciate when someone else eyes, or puts their hands on my property."
Eona bared her fangs, "Kira is not property. She's a living person."
"True, but she is human, one who is well aware of her place in our society. She is far more clever than you give her credit for." Carmilla said lightly, a smile came over the vampires lips her pearly fangs showing through, "She continues to surprise me after all these years."
"What do you mean?" Her niece asked in confusion.
"She protected you Eona." Carmilla said with a hint of amazement at the woman's quick thinking and reaction. Never has she done anything this defiant, this bold; it was new and exciting.
"Kira hit you first because she knew if she hadn't your punishment from me would have been far more severe." Carmilla opened the door, "I will warn you just this once because you are my family: .Mine."
Inside the garden Kira drew her bow and sank and arrow in the center of the target. Two targets popped up, Kira drew, shooting one, drew and hit the other. another popped lower, she dropped to a knee, hitting the target, spun around and hit the next one the was shot into the air. She could be happy or sad, angery, pissed off; scared and she would always hit her target. Her father taught them the way of the bow to survive; hunting, surviving, by any means necessary. Any means necessary was difficult when it came to a vampire, the only way they could be killed was by destroying their core and that was difficult to destroy with their regeneration. Becoming a slave did not stop her from practicing, from remember why she learned, but things changed.
Fuck. Kira shot again and again and again until her target was swiss cheese. Fuck! Another. Fuck! Another. FUCK! The bow string snapped, the archer clenched her jaw so hard her teeth ached, her neck began to burn again. She breathed out a low growl escaping from the back of her throat. Marching back towards the front of the firing line she threw the bow on the ground and grabbed another she drew the string back. She eased the tension of the string then dropped the bow, her butt followed as she hit the ground.
God fucking damnit. Why did she do that, why did she get in the way of the two of them. That was a death wish, her death wish. Why bother? There were no feelings she had for either of them, she could not have feelings, this was about survival her survival. They were vampires, Pureblood vampires who took her family from her, who started the vampire-human war and brought the apocalypse upon humanity. To them she was a slave, nothing more, she was property, a play thing; livestock. Her father taught them to hate the vampire, to curse them, to fight until their very last breath and never allow yourself to be a slave. To him, death was the better option. That was not an option for her. Never, death was an end, death was giving up.
Kira leaned back looking up at the sky.
"How does your hand feel?" Carmilla asked, walking down the stairs elegantly, as though wearing a gown and attending a ball.
Rolling onto her knees, Kira bowed her deeply, nearly to the ground as the Empress approached, "Forgive me Empress!" She requested exhausted, "Hit your niece, I lost my temper and-!"
The shadow cast by the Palace lights over the Empress hovered over Kira. Normally if she was being punished it would be now, she would feel a shift in the Empress's tone, but it was not here. She dared not look up, not break this bow, she needed to accept the punishment, turning the other cheek because that was how she survived. That was how she would always survive.
"How does your hand feel?" Asked Carmilla again, "Hitting a vampire, especially a Pureblood I'm told to a human feels like hitting a rock."
Kira hesitated, unable to figure out how to answer, "I-" She flexed her hand.
Was the punishment to break her hand? To cut it off? Carmilla has always been one for creative punishments, it would not surprise her creativity would easily cross over to cruelty.
"It...doesn't hurt...m'lady."
A chuckle followed, "I wondered seeing as you expertly murdered your target. I wonder whose face you imagined for that." Carmilla took the bow from the ground, holding it in her hands.
She pulled at the string, "Your skill with the bow is impeccible." Carmilla plucked the string once, "Will you teach me?"
Was this a joke? Kira was not certain, slowly she stood, mouth gaped open somewhat. Was this a test of some kind? Regardless she knew she could not lower her guard, else she would find herself at the end of the range with a few arrows in her herself. That would certainly be ironic. With a silent nod she agreed, requesting the Empress to load an arrow and draw back on the string and hold it. Looking at her posture and stance...Carmilla clearly was already versed in archery, yet still asked for Kira's tutoring. The Empress's unpredictability was making her nervous. A few minor adjustments and Carmilla let the arrow fly, sitting the bottom corner of the target.
"I never was one to use the bow, swordsmanship was where I put my time and effort in. Long before the age of the firearm of course." Carmilla offered the bow to Kira, "I do however, enjoy watching a master perform."
Cautiously taking the bow, Kira began to load an arrow.
"Lady Carmilla..."
"Carmilla will do just fine when we are alone." The Empress corrected.
Kira lowered the bow, "I'm sorry for getting angry...I know I'm just a human, I know I'm your slave, but I...I can't stand to be called that."
The Empress looked at the target, "It is true, in the eyes of society, and of the Game you are a slave, however, truth is often more complicated than black and white."
"I understand that more than people think, even if a human." Kira sighed quietly.
"It is true our...activities, may appear that as a master and slave to an outsider, but I had hoped that is not what you believe." Carmilla inspected an arrow.
Kira looked at the vampire then drew her arrow, releasing and hitting the target center mass.
"Truth is often more complicated than black and white." Kira repeated lowering her bow, "But what I believe doesn't really matter in the end."
"I disagree." Carmilla held the arrow out to the other woman, "I find your opinion quite fresh and different. A human whose heart was so full of hate towards the vampire now shares bed with their Empress so passionately."
Kira averted her blushing face.
"People would call that Stockholm Syndrome." Carmilla bobbed her head.
I call it survival with added perks. The human said mentally, setting up her arrow, but not raising her bow.
"That hatred is still very much alive, no matter how deep you try to bury it." Carmilla held her hand over her heart, "I recognize it because I too have felt it: to hate the thing you love most in the world..."
Kira clenched her fist.
"...Is more painful than anyone can possibly imagine."
For a vampire, every sense, every emotion is heightened to its absolute limit. If they feel happy or love, its intensity if five times that of an ordinary human, the same is said for feelings such as sadness or anger. Though the intensity is greater than that of a human, being an immortal means to often stretch out one's self. Their intensity is stretched out over their long life span and the older they become the less depth the impact of their emotion have on them. For mortals with shorter lives, though not a heavily, they certainly feel deeper and longer than their superiors...Carmilla sometimes envies them for that.
If they love, they will hold onto that love all their lives even if the object of that love has long since departed. However, hatred, anger, rage; they have a greater potential of ruling over a human spanning their entire lives and even beyond death. Needless to so they certainly hold onto negative emotions more strongly than vampires, a useful...yet morbid thing. It consumes them, their entire being until all that remains is that emotion and without it...the human becomes nothing more than a soulless husk.
Kira kept her bow low, not drawing it back, but stared down the range, looking off into space.
"This is the only life I know now." Kira returned her awareness to the conversation, "Whatever the world could have, or should have been is just a dream. Where we are here...now; the present is what matters, this is how the world is and there is nothing I can do about it." She sighed, lifting up her bow and drawing back, "I refuse to die believing or fighting for a world that doesn't exist anymore."
The arrow hit its target.
Carmilla looked from the arrow to Kira, "Is that what you believe your fellow humans are doing? Is the idea of believing in equality for a world that doesn't exist anymore a fantasy?"
"Yes." Kira said firmly, "Humans will never be equal to vampires. You are faster, older and stronger, it's why you won the war."
The Empress laughed, "What an interesting perspective! This newfound honestly I must say is delightful, you are usually more...submissive around me. I wonder if you have finally become more comfortable with me...or has Eona presence been a positive influence on you."
Kira face became conflicted, but it was quickly neutralized. Carmilla was right, Kira had been growing more and more confident when speaking more openly to the Empress. She wondered if it was comfort or reassurance that had her act this way, but it was not normal. These last few weeks she would never dare speak honestly and casually to the Empress, the fear of death and the necessity of survival has always been present in the human's mind, just as naturally as breathing came. Was Eona's presence the influence...or was it something else.
Unconsciously Kira reached up and rubbed the tattooed side of her neck.
"Does it bother you? To remain human rather than be one of us?"
It was the first time Carmilla had ever asked that, had ever directly addressed the Stigma since it was placed on her year ago. She almost died that day, was almost killed and was without understanding for the reason. Maybe she would never know or maybe it was best if she did not. A lie is often more comforting than the truth.
Kira's hand slid off her neck and dropped to her side.
Carmilla continued, "To fear for your life everyday, to know that while we around you will never change, you will grow old and die eventually?"
Looking at the night sky, "Being human...is the of the last things I can hold onto as my own."
