Author's Note:
It feels so good to be done with finals! :3
I want to take the time to thank everyone who has favorited, alerted, and left reviews. They are extremely encouraging, and I'm ashamed that I have not taken the time to express my gratitude thus far. I actually feel bad for not thanking everyone individually, so please forgive my rudeness. It's also friggin' cool to know that the Ulquihime fandom is so vast. There really is something fascinating about this pairing. Anyway, thanks to everyone who keeps coming back to read.
Ulquiorra and Orihime headed back into the palace halls, treading in complete silence.
Two pairs of eyes lurked in a crook of the walls. Orihime, head down in embarrassment, had purposely walked in front of Ulquiorra, so she did not notice the two females hiding in the darkness. Ulquiorra, too astute to be misguided by distraction, instantly shot them a menacing glance. Realization spread across their horrified faces as his cold, definite eyes administered a severe warning to whomever so much as thought of laying a finger on Aizen's newest comrade. He dragged his steps a bit, solidifying his silent reprimand before eventually returning to his usual apathy.
When Loly was certain she was out of earshot, she cursed.
"How did he find out? How does he know? He spends all his time protecting that–" but she stopped, another realization dawning on her.
She grabbed Menoly's arm. "Stay with me," she commanded.
"Why? Maybe we should just leave—"
"Ulquiorra thinks he has the upper hand in this? We can play this game, too! I'm not letting that cow take over what I know is mine."
Wait they did. Ulquiorra returned from Orihime's room, heading towards his own chambers.
"Ulquiorra."
He scoffed at Loly, the arrogance in his eyes making it very clear that he did not wish to chat with the likes of them.
"You're sweet on that tramp, aren't you?" she said loudly.
He turned his head halfway to face her. "Watch your tongue. You, unlike the woman, are not under Aizen-sama's protection." His voice was as stone, nicking her where it hurt most.
"You son of…" she started to say, but composed herself, knowing a better response. Clenching her fists, she spat, "Are you sure you're protecting her for Aizen-sama's sake only?"
Ulquiorra ignored her, continuing to walk onwards.
"I mean, you spend all your time with her during the day, and now you're taking her on little outings whenever you get the chance. If Aizen-sama suspects anything, he'll—"
In seconds, Ulquiorra stood inches behind Loly, concentrating his reiatsu and bringing her to collapse. The other one, Menoly, attempted to stop him, but his index finger was pointed directly at her face sooner than she could react.
"Move another inch and you will suffer the consequences," he threatened.
He stood above a choking Loly, looking down at her in disgust. "Fool. Any inkling of a threat to her comfort destroys the illusion of security that Aizen-sama has built around her. If she does not feel as though she can comply, all of our efforts will have been wasted. If I have any reason to suspect that you will further threaten Aizen-sama's alliance with the woman, I personally will deliver the message of your interference. He will not tolerate it, despite your idiotic sympathies."
He eased the strength that had emanated from him. "Pathetic. Even the woman has developed a tolerance for such a low level of reiatsu."
He left her gasping for breath, walking onwards and away.
A sly smile spread on Loly's lips as soon as she regained her composure. Her cynical cackle echoed along the hallways.
"What's the matter with you? Maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore," Menoly hesitantly suggested.
"Shut up! Don't you see what this means? He definitely has a thing for her," she crowed.
.oOo.
When Ulquiorra returned to Orihime's room the following day to assist her in training, the uneasiness between them persisted. She half-hoped that Starrk would be back—anything to avoid more awkwardness.
She followed him outside quietly, even in her steps. They went to their usual spot. Still humiliated from the previous day, she did not look at him, and even he found himself occasionally avoiding her. Her performance was certainly superior to the first few weeks of her training, but her progress was considerably more handicapped without looking at his signals. She fell to the ground for the first time in weeks with him. Orihime could feel the tears of frustration forming behind her eyes when she collapsed a third time.
She stood up, rubbing her arm in exhaustion. This is unacceptable! She decided to take a quick peek at him. His face was blank, refusing to tell her what he thought about the regression in her progress.
Realizing that a lapse might get her into trouble with Aizen, she gathered her nerves and finally made an honest effort to cultivate some advancement. Thankfully for her, the last half of her training went on as usual.
Orihime was panting and sweating by the end of her session; the earlier half of her training had worn her out, and she could see that Ulquiorra was not pleased.
Orihime attempted to apologize, "I-I'm sorry for my performance today. It seems it's not up to my normal standard. I promise I'll try harder tomorrow."
Ulquiorra did not respond to this. Though she was avoiding his stare, he had periodically avoided hers, and she was making excuses for them both. This irritated him; it not only meant that he was allowing himself to be distracted in his duties, but also that she was taking responsibility for it.
There was also the discomfort marking the previous meeting. Orihime wanted to address it, but how could she? It's not like I said anything…
"Um…about yesterday—"
But she could not finish. She was afraid to risk the direction of the conversation.
"We will continue to train normally tomorrow," he replied, ignoring her.
Dismayed, Orihime responded with a tired sigh. Despite the awkward nature of their interactions, she was growing weary of holding her emotions in. She desperately wanted to qualify herself, to explain to him that she was only grateful, that whatever thoughts he had were surely mistaken. Perhaps hearing it out loud would convince her that this was so.
Yet, gawking at him during the second half of her training was not the slightest bit helpful.
.oOo.
Determined to sort out her feelings, Orihime continued to avoid the usual methods of her training. She knew that it would slow her down, but she needed to get over whatever silly emotion was looming over her. She hoped that the Espada would not notice, but knew that she was probably grasping at straws in these wishes. It was more difficult for Ulquiorra to read her limit without direct eye contact, but perhaps after the awkwardness of their previous conversation, he would let her be.
Ulquiorra immediately noticed that the woman had purposely been avoiding him lately; on some occasions, she had even declined the opportunity to visit her favorite place. She consistently circumvented his eyes, and he knew that it had to do with the conversation they had had; he analyzed it over and over for any possible explanations for her behavior. He knew that it had something to do with him, but he simply could not accept the implications of what he had witnessed in her eyes. His first intuitions were usually correct, however, but he remained doubtful . It is simply impossible. The woman is capable of sympathy, yes, but anything beyond this is foolish even for her.
The woman's incessant babbling had also begun to cease over time, and she had grown to be somewhat more subdued; though this shift in her usual pattern was somewhat alarming, he knew that it was not a matter of her mental stability, as he had originally would have thought months ago. No, he had come a long way since then. He, who thought he knew everything there was to know about humans, was able to learn at least a little more through Orihime. He had grown to know her actions and reactions very well, especially the thoughts each expression reflected. Despite spending so much time with her, even he was surprised at how well he had come to acquire this skill. Thus, when the woman's persistent talking and overall bubbly personality had dimmed, he knew that the matter was not insignificant. He gave it some time to determine whether it was a passing phase, but as her training continued to be affected, he finally approached the issue.
"Why do you refuse to train properly?" he finally asked after her after training one day.
"What?"
"Your concentration has been noticeably lax. You have not been following the standard procedure for some time now."
Orihime was at a loss for words. How could she tell him it was because she had feelings for him? She had finally admitted this to herself the night before, when Ulquiorra did not appear at any of her meals. Lately he had been coming to at least one meal a day, particularly on the days that she was allowed to exit her room. Even though she had actively been making less conversation lately, she slowly felt herself clinging and looking forward to the time he would spend in her room. It was almost greedy, the way she would conveniently wait for an opportune moment to steal a glimpse at him here and there, to test whether he was looking at her and to feel her blood rush in commotion when their eyes met. When he did not come the previous day, Orihime could not believe her own disappointment; she even questioned the servant about it and lost her appetite as the plates were laid before her. There was also no denying the fluttering in her stomach she would get in the mere anticipation of seeing him, when he spoke to her, when his lustrous eyes pierced hers in pseudo-encouragement, inspiring her strength. She simply could not force herself to quench the excitement that came with being around him, no matter how hard she tried. But she was obviously doing something right, because he noticed.
"I-I guess I wanted to see how well I could do on my own, without the usual methods," she lied.
"On your own? This entire training has consisted of your own toleration of reiatsu. Our method is merely a way to gauge your limits more effectively. Why do you continue to stall your progress?"
Frustrated, Orihime gave an apology, "I'm sorry. I—didn't think it mattered. I just wanted to gauge myself from the beginning of my training…Do you mind if I keep doing it?"
Ulquiorra remained silent for several moments, processing her question.
"I refuse to waste my time if you do not continue properly."
Alarm washed over her. "What?"
"Since your progress has been considerable, Aizen-sama would be willing to allow other Espada to train you in my stead. I have many other matters I must attend to that take precedence."
Orihime was unable to mask her dismay at his response; though training with him was emotionally trying, she could not imagine training without him—she did not want to train without him. She was also very hurt that he discarded spending time with her so easily. But perhaps this would be best; it would certainly keep her away from him and give her time to sort out her feelings.
"Maybe that would be best, then…"
Ulquiorra noted the tone of her voice; what her face said and what her words said were two completely different things. So. It is me she refuses to train with.
"Then I shall have to alert Aizen-sama of your request. But be forewarned that though you have progressed, training with Espada less perceptive than I should prove to be more challenging, as I am certain you have already noted."
Orihime nodded, chewing on his words all the way back to her room.
.oOo.
Orihime's request had been processed very quickly, for Starrk met with Orihime the next day to train her. Orihime hid her disappointment upon seeing him.
"Hello, Starrk-san! And who is this?"
In the hallway stood another hollow a little younger than Orihime. She had short, light green hair, and a hollow mask covering one of her eyes. The other eye was pink. Her outfit is really funny, Orihime thought. She stood staring at the girl for several moments before the green-haired girl spoke.
"You were right, Starrk. She does have big boobs!"
Both Orihime and Starrk turned beet red. Orihime subconsciously crossed her arms over her chest, unable to look at the man standing next to her.
Starrk walked over to the girl and subtly pinched her in the arm.
"Ow!" she yelped, and kicked him in the shin. He let out his own pained cry.
The sight helped Orihime forget her embarrassment. She giggled.
Starrk straightened up and cleared his throat.
"I apologize for her crude behavior. She doesn't know anything about how to treat guests. This is Lilynette. I believe I have spoken with you about her?"
"Yes. Nice to meet you."
The girl rubbed the spot Starrk had pinched and then crossed her arms.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's get on with this training."
Orihime smiled. She took to Lilynette immediately.
The training with Starrk proved to be less of a disaster than the previous time. For some reason, Starrk was better able to control his reiatsu and was less nervous with the girl around. Starrk was able to reach just the right levels, but unlike Ulquiorra, his reiatsu did not fluctuate up and down to give Orihime time to rest. He maintained the same high levels until he could see Orihime start to get woozy, and then completely cut it off. So instead of smooth transitions, Orihime went from really high levels to no levels at all. It was very difficult for her, so they only trained for half her usual time.
"Please, I am exhausted. Would you mind if we stopped for today?" she panted.
"Of course. But doesn't your training with Ulquiorra typically last longer?"
Orihime blushed. "Yes, but your style is more rigorous than I'm used to."
"I see. Well, we should be getting back."
"You know, I'm sort of impressed," Lilynette said. "I thought you were going to die the minute Starrk released his reiatsu. Seems like Ulquiorra really hasbeen training you all this time," she snickered.
Orihime did not understand what the girl was implying until later on that day, when Lilynette stayed to chat with Orihime in her room. Once again, Ulquiorra did not come to her meal. Apparently, he was out doing some tasks for Aizen, but this bothered Orihime. She wondered whether he was really out doing his work or whether he was avoiding her since she had requested not to train with him anymore. But why would he have any reason to avoid me? Lilynette noticed Orihime's pensive look.
"I know who you're thinking about."
"Wh-what?" Orihime gave Lilynette a horrified look.
"Oh, come on. It's so obvious. You've been spending every day with him, and then all of a sudden you're not training with him anymore, and then you're all gloomy when he's not around."
"Oh, I don't mean to be gloomy, I was just thinking—"
"About Ulquiorra, I know!"
She is so astute! God, I hope no one else suspects…
"N-no, it isn't like that—"
"It's okay," Lilynette assured her. "I won't tell anyone…like there's anyone interesting to talk to in this place anyway. I don't think anyone would even believe that someone is dumb enough to fall for him. He's so unnecessarily serious about everything, and he's soboring—all he ever does is follow orders and mope around with his hands in his pockets!"
"He's not all that bad," Orihime laughed.
Lilynette scoffed.
"No, really. He's actually a really good listener. I know that's probably because he doesn't say much at all anyway, but I talk a lot, so it works out. It helps on the days when I'm especially lonely. He's also really considerate when it comes to my training. I know Starrk-san tries hard, but there's something about Ulquiorra-kun's natural abilities. He can shift his reiatsu in very small levels so that I don't faint or collapse. He's very careful about that, and it's something that I've really come to appreciate. At first I thought he was just doing his duty, but I don't know. I feel like if he really didn't care, he would just let me be overpowered all the time and be rude about it. Because he can be very rude. And when I was bitten by the libélula, he placed a barrier around my room so that I wouldn't be bitten again. I—I don't know. I suppose he's doing those things because he has to, but sometimes I think I see something inside of him that tells me otherwise."
"Wow, you really are into him."
Orihime blushed. "I-I wouldn't say that. I just think he's…not so bad."
"Yeah, whatever. It's like I said earlier. That guy is so into his duties he doesn't even notice a girl of your status," she ignored Orihime's embarrassment and continued. "Anyway, I'm getting bored. I saw some cards around here. We should play a game. Starrk never wants to play cards with me. He's always sleeping in his room or sulking around. It gets really annoying."
"Really? He doesn't seem like that type."
"Yeah, well, once in a while he'll get distracted enough to do his work. But then it's back to his usual routine. He's so depressing." Lilynette's face grew sad.
"I'm sorry to hear that. He's a nice person. He was the first person to show me any real kindness since I've been here."
Lilynette looked up at Orihime. "Why did you come here?"
Orihime thought carefully about her words. Lilynette was still a hollow, and Orihime a human. Despite all of her training, she still had her loyalties to her own kind. She decided on the truth, positive that the girl had probably already known the reasons.
"I came because Aizen-sama threatened to kill my friends if I did not join him."
Repeating this made Orihime wonder why she had agreed to become part of his team in the first place. All of her training suddenly seemed so discouraging. Lilynette said nothing. It suddenly became awkward between them.
"Well, what about that card game?" Orihime said cheerily.
.oOo.
Spending time with someone new was a gratifying experience for Orihime, as though she had made a real friend in such a misanthropic place. It made her wonder how she could have thought of her interactions with Ulquiorra as anything sociable. Being starved of any kind of interaction with others will make a person desperate for anything. However, she knew that the things she had said to Lilynette about Ulquiorra were still true.
Lilynette did not come with Starrk the next day, so Orihime's training ended the same way as the first time. This frustrated Orihime; she felt like she was regressing in her training, but was too proud to ask for Ulquiorra to train her again.
She passed out again during her training with Starrk and woke several hours later. She expected to see Starrk in the corner, but instead, she found Ulquiorra standing by her window, quietly observing her.
Orihime was startled. She hadn't spoken to him since her request to discontinue her training with him.
"Starrk will no longer be training you."
"What? Why?" But there was a clear note of relief in her response.
"His reiatsu is too strong for you at your current level, and he is still unable to control it. In the past, hundreds of hollows were known to have died from merely standing in his presence. Apparently, even the power of the Hogyoku was unable to completely tame him, so this was unexpected."
"But what about when he trained me with Lilynette? That seemed to work."
"It was still unsatisfactory for Aizen-sama. He decided to give Starrk one more chance when he trained you today, but it proved to be useless."
Orihime debated whether she should ask the question that was burning in her mind, but Ulquiorra answered before she could ask.
"You will continue your training sessions with me. Aizen-sama is pleased with your progress, and wishes for you to continue as you have."
Orihime could feel her heart beating faster. This meant that she would be spending time with him again. She was both thrilled and terrified of this.
"I see."
Ulquiorra remained silent for a few moments before his command boomed in her ears, "He has ordered that you train normally, using the successful methods we have adapted."
Orihime looked at Ulquiorra with wide eyes. This meant that Aizen knew she was avoiding her regular training. Does Aizen suspect…?
"Alright," she said tensely.
Ulquiorra picked up on her hesitation and asked, "Why are you so insistent on refusing to train normally?"
Orihime could not immediately answer him.
"It won't be a problem anymore," she finally responded, "You don't have to worry about it."
"That is not what I asked. You have been purposely been obstructing yourself from advancement."
His tone was very stiff, hinting neither concern nor interest; she was just an object to be manipulated by his master, and he was merely collecting information to increase his efficiency as a subordinate. Orihime could feel the tears brimming behind her eyelids. The Ulquiorra in her mind and the Ulquiorra before her were two very different people. Perhaps she was foolish for believing that he was in any way more than what he seemed.
"It's nothing. I told you, I've just been wanting to see whether I could handle myself without any warnings. I guess not, if I've been doing so badly with Starrk-san."
Ulquiorra was dissatisfied with her answer. Even now, she was avoiding his gaze, and he was irked by this. Why was she avoiding him? What possible reason could she have? Their trainings had been successful, so she should be happy that she was progressing. It was aggravating, constantly guessing at the motivations behind her moods. Quietly seeping in the back of his mind was her face several days ago, but he did not want to think about the indication of what her affection could mean.
"Be prepared to train normally tomorrow, else your regress may cost you your life."
His statement electrified her. Was he implying that he would slaughter her? The tears spilled from her eyes.
"You would—kill me?"
Utterly exasperated at her response, he spoke very clearly, "Woman, who do you think holds the thread of your life in his hands? I follow orders, that is all. If Aizen-sama desires your death, I will not begrudge him his wish."
The woman was exceedingly troubled by his words; she had clearly been expecting a different answer. She looked very uncomfortable, as though she did not want to be in the same room with him. Foolish! Why is she so surprised? he thought disdainfully.
"Would you want to kill me?" Her feeble, breaking voice was almost inaudible, as though she did not mean for her lips to actualize her thoughts.
Her question struck the Espada. For the first time since he could remember, he was uncertain about the correct answer. To say no would put her at ease, which in her fragile state would be beneficial, but it would also give her the impression that he was not apathetic towards her existence. This would complicate things. To say yes…he knew that it would crush the woman. She was obviously unstable, and if she believed that he had any ill-will towards her, it might restrict her progress.
But, to say yes would be a lie, he suddenly realized. The desire to kill was meaningless; he had taught himself restraint, and it had proven to be a very useful tool in his own evolution. Yet, if saying yes was a lie, did this mean that saying no was the truth? He could not detect any specific interest in the woman, but the fact that he needed to reflect over this alarmed him.
Apparently, he had been silent a while, because Orihime asked her question once more.
"Would you?" Her choked tone was hopeful.
Ulquiorra chose the path of indifference. "Be prepared for training tomorrow."
Orihime stared after him as he took his leave, her beating heart flittering at his words.
