Author's Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS AND SCENES INVOLVING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES INCLUDING ANXIETY, PTSD, AND PANIC.

Hi everyone! I hope you're all staying safe, healthy, and home! We've been staying pretty safe here at my house. Everything is still getting postponed but I did qualify for unemployment. Yay income! My commencement ceremony was postponed until December though :(. I've also seen a significant increase in my alcohol consumption. I'm almost out of wine!

Midnitewanderer: I'm so sorry for that! This chapter doesn't have a cliffhanger though (I wouldn't say anyway). Geekymom: Thank you! Dutchie: You'll get to see more H/G interraction next chapter! Smallwjl: I sent you a PM in that regard. I hope this chapter is a bit more towards that direction. I really want to stay true to mental health issues and awareness.

I know this chapter isn't as long as they have been lately, but I think I hit on some pretty important topics and I'm really working on those character POV changes.

I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do and remember; stay home and WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS! 3

Chapter Fourteen: Tick, Tick, Ticking Time Bomb

It's the right thing to do, Sirius thought to himself, I need a job. I need normality.

Sirius wringed his hands together as he sat outside of Scrimgeour's door, his eyes darting around at all the people in the office. He noticed the people looking at him; saw the looks the exchanged with one another. He could hear the hushed whispers behind their hands and pieces of parchment. The ticking of some incessant object to his left; tick, tick, tick.

More people gathered in the open area at the mouth of the hall and stared in now, ogling him. Sirius pretended not to notice by allowing his eyes to wander but that did nothing for his mind which couldn't stop noticing the goddamned ticking noise.

Is that getting louder? Sirius thought as he heard the chimes again; tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Sirius shook his head and peeked down the hall. But down the hall wasn't down the hall anymore. Down the hall was, maybe, two steps away now and all those people were so close he could smell their cold, stinking breath. Tick, tick, tick, rattle!

What was that! Sirius yelled in his head, sweat dripping down the back of his neck as he heard a rattling breath. He whipped his head around at the crowd but saw only people gawking. But he could hear it. The ticking, the rattling breath; he could smell the putrid decay of death—a black cloak billowed.

Sirius sprung up, a yelp still on his lips when he realized the cloak was a wizard headed to work; the hall was its normal size, and no one was standing at the end of it.

He frantically looked around, his robes soaked in sweat, his hair clinging to his face. Sirius tried to calm his rapid breaths but couldn't. So, he ran. He ran and didn't stop until he had reached the apparition point where he disapparated back to Potter Manor, not even giving James a second thought.

Once he was home, Sirius dashed to his room and slammed the door closed. He locked and silenced the room before letting out a screaming sob.

Get it together! He thought as the tears poured out, None of this was real! It's all in your head, you crackpot. Get. It. Together! Sirius began beating his fist into his head as he walk/crawled to the shower. He managed to turn the water on and crawl inside and sit under the spray before the fear took over.

For a moment, he was back in Azkaban. He could smell the death, the staleness in the air, the dampness of the ground. The screams and moans from the other prisoners was overwhelming; Sirius clutched his hands to his ears to stifle the sound. It wouldn't leave.

He could feel the hot spray on his head and back as it trickled down to his feet.

Sirius stayed like that for a long time; just sitting in the shower as the water beat down on him. He had heard Remus and James calling for him, but he had ignored it. He needed to be alone. It wasn't until sometime later, when he started to calm down, that he realized the moaning, the cries, he heard were from himself. That was enough to get him to open his eyes and see that he was still in the shower at James' house. To remember that James and Harry weren't dead, that he wasn't in Azkaban, and that nothing was as bad as it had seemed.

Even knowing all of this, Sirius stayed in the shower until well after James returned from the Ministry.

~ID~

Scrimgeour indicated the chair in front of him and said, "Please, sit. I imagine this is going to be a brief meeting?"

James nodded, "I believe so, yes."

"So, have you considered my proposal?"

"I have," James began, "But I've also received some other proposals that I think were quite persuasive. I don't know that I really want to work for the organization that put my best friend in prison."

Scrimgeour scowled, "Even if that person has agreed to become a part of this department?"

"That's Sirius' prerogative. I'm not sure that he will ever take the exam if you want my opinion on that subject." James replied.

"I would sincerely hope that Lord Black wouldn't come here to make promises he doesn't intend to keep."

"I don't think it's that he doesn't intend to keep his promises; more so that he won't end up being able to keep his promise. But, I could be wrong. For now, we're here to discuss myself and my employment."

Scrimgeour nodded, "Yes. Please, what is your decision? Will you be finishing your training as Lord Black has agreed and joining my department? You read in my letter that your pay would be about 50,000 galleons a year as well as benefits and yearly raises. After a few years you may be able to be promoted from an A1 to an A2 or even a supervisor depending on your history with the department. I honestly can't think you'd get a better job offer than what we've given you, Lord Potter."

"To be honest with you, Scrimgeour, I've received an offer that would allow me to do something I love doing for 100,000 galleons a year plus benefits and other incentives. Can your department meet similar benefits and terms?"

Scrimgeour balked, "Well, I mean, over time I'm sure your wages would—"

"After a year, maybe two, my pay would increase to 150,000 galleons. Did I mention the sign on bonus of 20,000 galleons?"

"Lord Potter! You know damn well the Ministry could never compete with wages that high. Even the Minister himself only makes about 200,000 galleons a year! I mean, even I make less than what you're asking."

James stood up from his seat, "Well, then, I think we're finished here. I won't take a lower wage for a high stress job. Especially now that I have a family to think about and the war is over for now. Thank you for your kind offer, Mr. Scrimgeour, but I will have to decline it."

"Well, we had to try, didn't we, Lord Potter?" Scrimgeour commented as he held out his hand for James to shake, "Can I ask who you'll be working for?"

"I'll be a reserve chaser for Pride of Portree. Hopefully this time next year I'll be a starting player. I doubt your department could have come close to the compensory package the team is offering me."

"Then why come all this way to speak to me?"

"Consider it professional curtesy. Besides, my mate wanted to come in and I didn't want him to be alone when he did that after everything he's been through here at the Ministry."

"Well, if you ever decide to retire, keep us in mind. You would make an excellent asset to our team."

"I will, thank you," James said as he headed towards the office door.

James opened the office door and stepped out into the hallway and looked around. Sirius wasn't in the seat where James had left him nor could James see him anywhere down the hall or in the main office area. Worried, James walked over to the receptionist.

"Did you see where my friend went? He was just here," James asked the receptionist.

"He left about five minutes ago. Went tearing down the hall to the lifts like a madman. Can't say I'm surprised given his track record."

James' eyes hardened as they bore into the receptionist, "I hope you have a fantastic day, sir."

The receptionist looked at James, his face full of confusion as James rushed out the door.

James ran down the hall and to the lifts, questions and fear running through his mind as he waited for the ding. Once the lift arrived, he got in and waited to be taken back to the atrium level.

When the lift shuttered to a stop at the atrium James stepped out and looked around the large room, searching for Sirius' face. Unable to find him, James went over to the security desk.

"Hey, do you remember the gentleman who was here with me when I came in?" James asked the guard.

"Yeah, the guy with the black hair?"

"Yes! Did you see him?"

"Oh yeah, about five minutes ago."

James breathed a sigh of relief, "Where did he go?"

"He ran to the apparition point and left. Sorry, we don't track where people apparate to."

"That's ok. I think I know where he went. Thank you for your help."

James ran over to the apparition point and disapparated home.

~ID~

Remus looked around as he walked down the road leading away from Potter Manor. He could no longer see the Manor as he walked away because of the protection spells put in place on it. The home simply disappears from sight once you get so far away from it. Remus wasn't concerned, he knew it would show back up when he got closer again.

He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but Remus knew he would recognize it once he saw it. He continued down the road at a leisurely pace, taking in the sights around him. It was a surprisingly warm day outside with a brisk breeze filling the air. He still needed a light jacket, but that didn't both him.

Remus passed by several quaint houses on his walk as well as a park or two. He stopped off in one of those parks and found himself a nice bench to sit on. It was under the shade of a wide oak tree next to the sandbox of the playground. A few small children were running around in it or building little castles. Remus smiled as he thought to himself that Harry would probably enjoy a place like this where he could run around and interact with other children his age.

As he smiled, he pulled out a large book he had brought with him, Ancient Runes and Their Modern Day Interpretations. Remus, James, and Sirius all knew that the war from a few years ago was far from over and Remus intended to keep himself informed on the dark arts and warfare. His hope was to have a plan of strategy for when Voldemort eventually rose again.

Remus sat reading under the oak tree for a long time. By the time he looked up when someone took the seat next to him, the day had progressed into early afternoon.

He looked over at the woman who had sat next to him. She was pretty with light brown hair and brown eyes. She had a petite frame about her and she, too, had a book in her lap. She looked over at Remus and smiled. She had a pretty smile, her teeth were white and straight but she had two overly large front teeth. She looked down at his book and then back up at Remus.

"The History of The World Wars," she commented, "History buff?"

Remus smiled, of course she couldn't see the real title, the chances of him running into a witch in a muggle park? Really.

"Yes, you could say that," Remus said, "It's been quite an interesting read. What have you got?"

She smiled and held up her book, "Nothing quite as interesting I'm afraid. The Textbook of Preventive and Community Dentistry is quite dense and boring to most, I suppose."

Remus laughed, "Are you a dentist, then?"

"I hope to be. I graduate next year."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck, then. I never understood why anyone would want to look into people's mouths all day but I suppose we need dentists, don't we?"

The woman laughed, "Yes, I suppose we do."

Just then a small girl with curly brown hair ran up to the woman, "Mummy, can I has a juice?"

The woman opened her purse and pulled out a small child's cup full of juice and handed it to the girl, "There you go, little bug. Are you having fun?"

"Yes," the girl said between guzzles, "Thank you!" she said as she handed the cup back and ran off.

"My daughter," the woman said, indicating the little girl, "She's four but you would never know it. We just moved to the area so I was hoping she could meet some of the other children. Which one is yours?"

"Mine isn't here right now. Well, I should say I don't actually have a child. My nephew, who I'm helping my best friend raise, is with friends for the day. I was just thinking that he would love this park. He's three himself; four in July."

"Oh, mine just turned four in September! You should give us a ring if you decide to bring your nephew here sometime; I'm sure they would have a grand time."

The woman handed him her business card as she smiled. Remus read the name on the card, Jean Woodward, "Thank you Mrs. Woodward, I'll definitely let you know when I bring Harry to the park."

"Oh, it's just Miss, thank you. I look forward to it!"

"Miss Woodward, then. I need to get going, but I'm sure we'll see you and your daughter soon."

"Take care now!" Jean called as she opened her book and pulled out a highlighter.

Remus nodded and headed back up the road towards Potter Manor.

Sometime later Remus sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea and his book. He hadn't been sitting there long before he heard the crack of someone apparating into the Manor; he looked over the brim of his tea cup to try to see who had come home. He hadn't been expecting anyone for a while. As he set his cup down, he could hear someone running up the stairs.

Remus stood up and walked into the entry way out of the kitchen and walked towards the staircase.

"Sirius? James?" Remus called up the stairs.

Hearing no reply, Remus climbed the steps and walked down the hall, calling for his friends. Still hearing no reply, Remus began growing concerned and pulled out his wand.

Remus walked up to James' bedroom door and pushed it open only to find it dark and empty. It looked as if James hadn't been in his room since this morning. The air was still and slightly stale.

Closing the door, Remus headed further down the hall, passed his own room, to Sirius' room and pushed on the door. It was locked.

Remus furrowed his brow and unlocked the door with a waive of his wand and pushed it open. He stepped inside to find the room dark, light spilling from the cracks under the bathroom door. Remus could hear the water running into the bathroom but couldn't hear Sirius.

"Sirius?" Remus called out. There was no response.

Remus knocked on the bathroom door, "Sirius, are you in there?"

When no response came, Remus tried magically unlocking the door. This time he was met with resistance. He waived his wand over the door and determined that Sirius had cast a magical lock on the door as well as a silencing charm. The only reason he could hear the water going was because of the pipes in the walls. All it was was a rushing noise.

Remus turned around, intending to call Gus or Cirri to come help with the situation when James came running through the doorway.

"Have you seen Sirius? He left me at the Ministry," James asked breathlessly.

Remus jabbed his thumb behind him, "He's in there, but I can't get in. He magically sealed the door and he silenced it. What happened? Was he ok?"

"I don't know. He seemed ok when he came out of the office. A little off put, bitter, but ok I suppose. Then when I came out of the office he was gone. The receptionist and guard said he went running out and then disapparated. I figured he came back here."

James ran his fingers through his hair, "He's not ok, is he?"

Remus looked back at the door and sighed, "No, I don't think he is."

End Notes:

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