Danny bursts through the bathroom door stumbling to the closest stall. He threw open the stall door, his backpack, and skateboard crashing to the floor. He leans over, vomiting into the porcelain bowl. Flashes of memories clouds his mind and pain burned in his chest as he emptied his stomach until nothing but acid came up. Even as he finished throwing up he still dry heaves until his whole torso was in pain. Once he was able to stop he leaned back against the stall wall. Trying not to choke on the stench of vomit that heavily filled the air. Damn it. Why did it have to happen now? Why right in front of Mr. Douglas?
Danny sat against the wall, head in his hands and his breathing erratically from the pain and emotions filling his whole being. Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Fucking idiot! How could you let yourself do that! How could you let Mr. Douglas see that? Dumbass, you could've-no, should've done better than those lame excuses. Memories of his father yelling and screaming at him for coming up with pathetic justifications and acting like a coward, too scared to admit one's fault. Even father back memories of him coming home late, seeing his parents sitting on the couch. Him walking through the front door and them yelling at him for his misbehavior. Danny curls in on himself more, making him seem like a smaller ball of nothing but overly large clothes. He's right. All I can do is make up pathetic excuses...
Tears filled his eyes slowly falling down his face against his say so. All he could feel was the pain. Raw physical and emotional pain, both equally fighting each other as he sits there on the gross floor in the boy's bathroom. It was too much for him. Too many memories, too many sleepless nights, too many hours of lying as still as possible due to pain. Too much choked down emotions and blatant lies. He hated it. Utterly loathed it. He hated fearing his dad. He hated fearing going home. He hated making sure that he was as quiet as possible all the time. He hated feeling like he's treading on thin ice. He hated feeling alone, scared and fucking weak. He hated it! All he ever wanted was to be normal! A normal 15-year-old with normal parents with a normal school life with normal responsibilities! Not some 15-year-old freak with freaky powers and some shitty school life with more responsibilities than anyone on the planet since the dawn of time itself!
Why did he have to step in the stupid portal? Why did it have to do this too him? Why did Clockwork not help him? Why would this be the only other alternative timeline that he got stuck with? Why did he and his family have to suffer at the hands of Jack Fenton? Why did everything become so much harder!? HELL! Even Vlads offer to be trained seems like a better outcome than his current one! The reality of what he though hit Danny hard.
He could never take it, never. Not only because Vlad was his enemy but because that would leave his mom and sister alone with Jack. No. Nonono. He would never put them in that situation. He could never do it, no matter what happens to him. He would never hurt his family on purpose.
The only reason Jack was doing anything was that of Danny. Danny changed the course of time, he changed the past and so the present and future were altered too. It was his doing that Jack turned into an abusive parent. His changed his Dad. So it was his fault, all his fault.
Danny already knew this was his fault, but at that moment he actually understood the impact it had caused and it hit him like nothing ever before, "Oh god... It really is all my fault..." A broken sob tore through Danny as he covered his mouth. Yet two more things he felt, guilt and disgust. Danny tried to hold back his tears as best he could but his emotions were chaotic and dangerous. He knew if he didn't calm down his powers would act up and then he would be in trouble for sure. Danny tried to hold back the tears but they kept flowing.
"Damn it." Danny wiped his red eyes with the palm of his hand. "Fucking damn it."
Danny reaches to the other side of the stall and pulled a few times at the toilet paper dispenser. He blew his nose then tossed it into the vomit filled toilet and scrunched his nose at the awful smell. He quickly flushed, closed the lid and sat on the seat. Bringing his legs to rest on top of the toilet seat and dunked his head in his knees. His body shook with the effort that it took to stop his crying. It was useless though, the tears kept falling even though he had filled his head with what happy memories he had left. He wipes his eyes, only to pull his hand back covered in wet concealer. Danny groans at the blurry image of makeup all over his hand.
"Shit..." Danny gave up trying to keep the tears at bay and keep the makeup on his reddened faced. Still, it frustrated him to no end that the tears wouldn't end. "Why can't I stop crying? Damnit. Just stop you stupid eyes!" Danny smacks himself upside his head. It rattled his brain with the force he hit but it stopped his tears for a mere second. Time had frozen as he stared through blurry eyes at his pale and nimble hands.
Could I..?
Danny quickly beat down the thought in his head. He wasn't that crazy or desperate. He wouldn't stoop to such low levels when he had to be the hero.
He was the hero, wasn't he?
Before anything else shot through Danny's head the bathroom door slammed open and in came two pairs of footsteps, along with two pairs of voices that were more than familiar.
"You said you would tell me when things got bad. Things got bad and you didn't say a word!" One spoke.
"Well, how can you think I can just come up to you and be like 'Hey! He got back a few weeks ago from rehab and guess what! He fucking lost it last night?" The other yelled.
"No! Of course not-"
"Then why do you think I didn't tell you!"
"Alright, I'm sorry okay! I was just- I really hate seeing you at school like this. I just wish you were a fucking adult already."
A deep sigh came from one of the two, Danny guesses the one who lied.
"I know, I know." Another sigh, "It's only two and a half more years and then I'm a legal adult. You don't have to worry, I'll be fine Kwan."
"You say that but what if the next time he takes it too far?" A slight pause then movement, "What happens when he comes home shit faced and he grabs the gun or pushes you too far and you grab it?" The voice wavered and gave a shaky exhale. "What would you do Dash?"
Dash stayed quiet for the longest time, then, "I- I don't know..." A sad sigh and then ruffling of clothes and feet on the tile.
"Hey, hey! It's okay. I got you Dash... I've got you." Danny heard Kwan speak. He could also hear silent muffled sniffles and choked breathing, and Kwan didn't sound like he was the one making them. Was Dash crying? The Dash Baxter was crying? It was unheard of and it was... hard to listen to. Danny knew he shouldn't be in the bathroom listening to a private conversation which had brought Dash to tears. He wasn't supposed to hear any of this. Know any of this.
He had to leave but if he left now then Dash and Kwan were to surely beat him up. It was a miracle he hasn't been found yet. Danny knew he wouldn't get out of there unscathed. And if he went ghost they would surely notice the bright light to suddenly fill the room and then leave just as quick.
He was stuck.
After a few minutes of the almost too quiet crying, Danny heard movement and his heart sputtered in a jolt of anxiety and his mind flashed hundreds of situations that could happen in a split second but nothing happened and his own breathing was at a standstill.
After the sound of movement died down Dash spoke. "Let's get back to class," and just like in a fiction world the 10-minute bell rang right on cue. A laugh was audible, "Well would you look at that."
This brought Kwan to start laughing a bit as well, "Yeah. Such perfect timing, freaky though." Laughter filled the bathroom and feet against the tiled floor. Danny could hear the door open and shut. The second the door closed Danny let himself breathe.
He waited till the 5-minute bell had rung before he dared to open the bathroom stall. Only one person had entered the bathroom in the last five minutes after Dash and Kwan had left. If another student had entered before the two jocks entered the bathroom it did not occur to him in his moment of panic.
Danny was walking the hallways. His backpack flung over his right shoulder and skateboard in his left hand as he walked to his History class. On his way, he passed some students that were heading to where ever. During those times he would look down and speed up his pace hoping they wouldn't see the bruises and cuts on his face. He was lucky nobody cared to even look at him since he was the lowest of the low on the social ladder in the school.
Well, he was lucky, until he turned the corner to continue down the hall and ran head first into somebody
"Ah! I'm so sorry. I didn't see where I was going." Danny spoke quickly. He collected the papers that were scattered all over the floor as quickly as he could. Danny scrambled to get back up and hand the person their work but he heard said person laugh, and the laugh sounded weirdly familiar. Danny flinched at it, thinking they were laughing at him.
"Well thank you, random stranger, whom I've never met at all in my entire life before."
Danny flew his head up and he let out a breath of relief. "Jazz why didn't you just say-" Danny froze. His face. The coverup was all messed up from crying and now Jazz will see. She will see the cuts and bruises. Shit. Danny quickly jumps back into the conversation to cover up his stumble, "Why didn't you let me know it was you sooner? I wouldn't have freaked out from running into you."
"Well, little brother it was a surprise to see you in the first place. I was just bringing the copied paperwork back to the front office. And why aren't you in class?" Jazz joked but the flinch her brother tried to hide gave her a shallow pit of worry in her stomach.
Danny rubbed the back of his head nervously. Avoid complete direct eye contact with his older sister. "I just went to the bathroom. That's all."
She didn't sigh or anything. Jazz already knew that Danny would lie. She wouldn't put the thought into her brother's head that she was ever disappointed in him for lying. Never, her father already does that enough. She knew he would hide the truth about him fighting ghosts the night before and pretend he was okay. Even... after, after everything. So with a split second decision, she would step up this time and take care of her family, but she needed to say something first. She might never get another chance.
"Danny, can I talk to you?" She grabbed his shoulder and it took almost all of Danny's will power not to flinch at the contact on his messed up shoulder that Skulker favored last night.
"Uh... Is right now the best time?"
"Yes, yes right now is a perfect time." Jazz was about to speak again but the bell rung throughout the school and one by one the students filed into the hallways of Casper High. Jazz looked a bit frustrated about it, "Shoot."
Danny looked back at his sister apologetically, "Sorry Jazz. Um, maybe later?"
Jazz couldn't do anything but reluctantly agree, "...Yeah, but I really need to talk to you later." Jazz couldn't stress it enough.
With that Jazz let go of Danny's shoulder and Danny walked off. Almost immediately he was eaten up by the crowd. Jazz turned around and made her way to her next class, worry bottoming her stomach along the way.
