INT. STUDIO - NEXT EVENING

ERIC (played by James Van Der Beek; coiffed hair, coiffed everything) looks nonchalantly comfortable as the apex predator at the table.

His prey - NIRAJ SHAH (mid 40s, clear framed glasses, shaved head with a trim beard) is in the middle of making his point.

NIRAJ: I don't know how much clearer I can get then saying that we categorically deny the allegations - I mean, that I'm even on here, saying this is how ridiculous this even is.

ERIC: You know what's ridiculous? You coming on here instead of Ms. Chandler. Why hide her?

NIRAJ: Ms. Chandler has nothing to do -

ERIC: Is she not the recruiting manager at Wayfair?

NIRAJ: She was -

ERIC: So you - what? Killed her to keep her from speaking?

NIRAJ: What? No - she's -

ERIC: Been pivotal in establishing Wayfair's human trafficking operation - in "recruiting" young women -

NIRAJ: We are not trafficking women -!

ERIC: Sorry - I didn't mean to imply discrimination - young *men* and women for distribution through a wholesale supplier ecosystem under the guise of an online furniture store.

Niraj just stares, not sure how to respond to the illogical spew he received.

ERIC: Your silence speaks volumes, sir. Eric turns to the camera.

ERIC: Coming up we talk to, Alyvia Storage Cabinet, a former victim of Wayfair.

CREW (O.C.): And... we're out.

Eric and Niraj are immediately beset by various CREW MEMBERS helping them take off their lav mics.

ERIC: Thanks for coming on and giving your side of the story.

NIRAJ: My side of the story?

ERIC: It's in the slogan - "No Agenda". We want to get all sides of a story out to the public.

Niraj stands to leave.

NIRAJ: Fuck you.

INT. FOX NEWS STUDIO - BACKSTAGE HALLWAY - LATER

Eric is walking through the crowded hallway, an ASSISTANT PRODUCER walking at his side.

His phone BUZZES in his pocket. He pulls it out - the screen displays a number, with "SOUTH PARK, CO" below it.

ERIC: What the fuck? He answers the phone.

ERIC: Who the hell is this?

JIMMY (O.C.): Hey Eric, it's Jimmy.