I shot awake, I was still on my couch and the clock said it was 2 in the morning. My TV was still on, now showing an ad for some blender, so I shut it off and trudged to my room, falling back asleep instantly as I hit the pillows. The second time I woke up was to my 6:30 alarm, I snoozed it and then finally pulled myself from the blankets at around 7. I had a sleepy smile as I walked from my room to the bathroom across the hall, my house was my own. It was just as I wanted it to be, gorgeous carpet, pretty walls, all of my stuff; I just needed to unpack all of my moving boxes. It was about time since I'd been in Baxter for about a month. I peeked out the side of my bedroom window, I could hear moving so I knew Thomas had already arrived. I still had to go to Nashville and return the Uhaul, buy my paint, and make it back here in time for dinner at Mary's.
I got dressed and went out back to see Thomas.
"Hey, I'm heading to drop off the Uhaul."
"Okay," he grunted as he lifted the horse feed onto his shoulder.
"Do you need anything?," I asked tentatively.
Thomas gave me a quick back glance," Need anything?," he repeated carrying the bag into the stable.
"Yeah," I followed him.
"No," he said dropping the bag onto the floor. "I'm okay."
"Alright," I nodded looking down to my shoes. "I should be back before you leave for dinner."
"You don't have to go to that," Thomas told me.
"What?"
"To my mama's for dinner, you don't have to go, she's just trying to be nice."
What? Why is he saying this?
"I really do want to go. I like your mother, Thomas."
He nodded absently," I'll see you when you get back then," he opened Peppermint's stall and disappeared inside.
It felt off, like maybe he was still thinking about last night. I walked around the house and thought about what I could do to cheer him up, as I drove into Baxter I kept thinking about what to do. I didn't come up with an answer until I reached Nashville. I had dropped off my Uhaul and gone to pick up some house paint when I saw a sign to a Barnes & Noble. I loved books, reading was always so calming and had a great escape from reality, much like TV did. I went to Barnes & Noble and spent about and an hour and half here searching the shelves for some new books. I bought some self help books, just things to help me start my own garden and fix small things around the house if they break or need repaired. That's when I stumbled onto the poetry section of the store and my mind sparked at the perfect gift for Thomas.
On the drive home I was buzzing with my purchase, not just the book, but all of it. I bought paint, some flowers, seeds, and gardening tools. I had the perfect spot picked out on the east side of the property. I had always wanted to plant my own tomatoes and cucumbers, but it was harder to do up North, here it would be perfect. I made it back to Baxter around 3:30, which felt perfect, just enough time for me to shower and get ready for dinner. I skipped into the house and dropped off my bags in the living room. I took a nice shower and picked out nice summer dress, it was white with a yellow daisy pattern. I brushed through my curls and went out to pull out the book I had gotten Thomas, jittering with anticipation for giving it to him.
Normally, I was terrible at giving presents, I never quite knew what people would like or what they truly wanted, so I thought I had nailed this perfectly. I went out back to see Thomas had already started to strip the paint off the house.
"Oh Thomas...," I gasped at the site. It just looked so different, the faded yellow paint was gone and now dark wood remained, a complete 180 from what it had been originally.
"What? Is it bad? I thought I got it all," he hopped down from his ladder.
"No, I... I just wasn't expecting it. It looks great," I grinned. "I bought the paint."
"What color?"
"It's called 'Zesty Lemon'."
"Sounds yellow," he joked.
"Oh, it is," I paused. "Can we go inside for a second?"
"Sure," he followed me around the house and into the kitchen.
"So..." I spun on my heels and smiled. "I kind of got you something."
"Got me something," Thomas arched an eyebrow.
"Yes," I picked up the book from the table. "I got you this."
"A book? You know my mom is the library secretary, right?"
"Oh...," my face fell and my mood with it. I had forgot that Mary was the town librarian. He has access to all kinds of books. Oh you stupid idiot!
Thomas flipped the book over," The Best American Poetry 1990."
"Sorry, I didn't even think," I buried my face into the palms of my hands. "I just know how much you liked poetry and I saw it and thought of you, god, I'm sorry."
"No" he smiled. "It's great."
"What?"
"This is amazing. Thank you Caroline."
"Really? Are you serious?," I peeked out from my hands and I saw his bright smile and sparkling eyes as he opened the book to see the first pages.
"Really," I could hear the gratefulness in his voice. So he really likes it! "Baxter won't get anything like this until it's like 2010," he laughed to himself.
I chuckled," Yeah, you're probably right."
"This was really nice, thank you," he shut the book and turned to me.
"I just wanted to brighten your spirits, you seemed a little down this morning."
Thomas' face flickered for a moment," Yeah, I just didn't sleep very well," he looked to his feet. "But this... this is great," he held the book higher.
"Really?," I finally dropped my hands. "For a second, I thought you hated it."
"I love it, I'll even read some tonight."
I looked over to the clock- 4:45.
"Come on, we can walk down to your house, don't want to be late for your mom."
"You want to walk?," Thomas followed me.
"Why not? It's a nice night, no rain and it's so close."
"Sure," Thomas shrugged. "I saw you got some gardening stuff?," he looked to the bags sitting on the living room floor
"Yeah," I nodded. "I want to have a garden, I was thinking over past that pine tree in the east part of the farm."
"Good spot," Thomas agreed. "Plenty of sunshine."
"I've never had a garden before," I told him as we walked down the driveway. "I've had some houseplants, but most of them die."
"So you thought you could keep a garden alive?"
I laughed," Maybe it'll be a disaster, but trying and failing is part of life and something I've accepted."
"Well, I have faith your garden will be great."
"I just want to be able to pick out a tomato, cut it up and put in on a salad. I don't think that's too much to ask for."
"No, it sounds nice," Thomas smiled and we turned right and onto the road.
"What about you, Thomas? What do you want?"
"Me? I dunno."
"Come on, everyone wants something."
"That's true," Thomas agreed. "Everyone does want something," he repeated mostly to himself.
"And what is it that Thomas Sicelle wants."
"Out of everything in the world?"
"Sure," I shrugged.
"I would probably want to get out of Baxter," he kept his gaze forward.
"Really? You want to leave?"
"You would too if you've lived here all your life."
"I think it's true for most people. Everyone wants to leave their nest at one point, some people follow through and some people don't."
"And the people that don't are the ones that make this place so awful."
Thomas has been bullied here since he was a kid, he doesn't have any friends, and he spends all his time at my house or with his mom.
"I know that Baxter hasn't been the best place to you," I admitted.
"I figured someone would have told you," he shrugged.
"I'm so sorry those things happened to you, Thomas."
He shook his head," It's my own fault."
"Thomas," I grabbed his arm. "You can't think that." Thomas kept his eyes on the gravel road at our feet," Thomas, I'm serious."
"You just don't understand," he mumbled.
"What don't I understand? Those kids were horrible to you, this is on them. They have to live with those things and you get to be better than them because you never stooped to their level."
"Do you really believe that?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"Were you ever bullied?," Thomas asked and we continued to walk.
"No," I shook my head. "I mean I was kind of an odd kid for sure, but I never landed on anyone's radar."
"In Baxter, you're always on everyone's radar," Thomas told me.
"It might take me more time than I thought to get used to living in an actual small town... I thought I would blend in and-"
"And you haven't?"
"No," I admitted. "I can still feel people stare at me when I go into town. I mean, I get it, I'm new... but I guess I never expected people to be so obvious about it."
Thomas shrugged," Just wait, someone will get pregnant or something and you'll be old news."
I threw my head back and laughed," I can only wish. Everyone here seems to expect me to get a boyfriend of something."
"Typical Baxter... you're only as important as the person you're with."
"Good to know," I made a mental note as we walked up Thomas' drive way.
I had never been to Thomas' house, nor had I ever seen it in the day light. It mirrored Del's house in a way, except that it was 2 stories instead of one; like it I stacked two of Dels' house on top of one another. It was a perfect rectangle standing with white siding and black singles, there was a small front porch with two chairs with pink flower planted by the steps.
Thomas lead me inside, the living room was to the left, it held a green couch and two blue chairs. The smell of smoke was stained in the air, there was almost a fog in the air, no doubt Mary was smoking. There was a wooden stair case just to the right of he door leading up to the second floor and straight forward was the kitchen. I followed Thomas to where we saw Mary standing in front of the stove frying something with a loud sizzle.
"Mama!," Thomas called to her, an anger in his voice.
"Oh!," Mary quickly turned and through her cigarette into the sink. She then saw us both standing there and flashed a bright smile," Oh, hello Caroline."
"Mama, you said you quit."
"I am," Mary waved her hands to thin out the air.
"You know that-..."
"Let's save this conversation for later," Mary stepped forward and Thomas bowed his head in compliance to her. "Caroline, I'm making chicken, potatoes, some green beans, cornbread and for desert I made peach cobbler."
"Oh wow, it smells amazing."
"I treat my neighbors right," she winked to me and then looked to Thomas. "What is that Tommy," she asked him in a soft slow voice.
"It's a book."
"Will you tell me what is it?"
"Ms. Caroline got it for me," he held the book out. "It's poetry."
"Oh wow," Mary took the book and ran her hand over the hard cover. "Caroline, you didn't have to."
I shrugged," I know how much he liked poetry."
"Oh yes, when he'd come to library with me he's spend hours reading through the books. Did you say thank you?"
"Yes mama."
"Like I said," I smiled, "Good manners."
She chuckled and went back to the stove to flip the food she was cooking," Well, dinner'll be ready in about 10 minutes. Tommy, why don't you go show Caroline your room, huh? That'd be fun."
Thomas said nothing and turned back towards the front door, I followed silently.
He sighed," She still thinks I'm 10."
I giggled," All moms refuse to see their kids grow up."
"I hope you like spaceships," he muttered and ascended the stair.
The last door on the let was Thomas' room, he stopped in front if the door, "I'm serious. Prepare yourself," he chuckled and when he opened the door I knew what he had meant. The wallpaper was a bunch of little rockets launching and he had space themed sheets along with a matching lamp.
"Like I said... she thinks I'm 10."
"The spaceships are cute," I told him and stepped further into the room. The wood floors creaked with my pressure, he had a window across from his door and I saw on the wall he had a bookshelf full of books. I went closer to examine them, titles ranged from 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to 'Hatchet' but the book that caught my attention the most was 'Roots'. I pulled it from it's place on the shelf, the book was worn, the paper binding coming apart and cover was cracked.
"That's one of my favorites," Thomas told me.
I kept my eyes on the book cover," Me too."
"Really? Do you have a favorite part?"
"Probably Tom's defiance, that he built his own blacksmith wagon instead of training under someone else. What about you?"
"Mine has to be when Kunta charges the Panther, and that he dad was never mad, just happy his son was alive."
"It really does make you think about the history of America," I sigh and put the book back on the shelf. "So tragic."
"And still relevant though there a big changes. The mayor or Memphis, he retired a few years ago, but he the first black mayor."
"It is nice to see he world progressing," I smiled at the thought. "Who knows, the next president could be black."
"That would be amazing," Thomas sat on his bed.
"What's this," I flipped the page of a large book open on the desk.
"Oh, just my... my scrapbook," I guess.
On the pages, there were plant leave taped in place, along with names and locations.
"Like a catalog?"
"Yeah, basically. I just document it all, helps me remember what's poisonous and what's not."
"Smart," I nodded and read some more. "You'll have to show me some of this stuff."
"I can, on the next ride... most of the plants I find are in the woods or up in the mountains."
"Very cool," I smiled to Thomas who blushed.
"Thomas! Caroline! Dinner's ready!," Mary called up.
"Thank god, I'm starving," I skipped down the stairs happily.
Mary had set the table with three plates and the steaming piles of food were mouth watering to see. Mary recited a prayer and once she was done, I dove into the chicken and cornbread greedily while she talked. Then she started to ask me questions, she was interested in my life in Vermont, my plans for the future and what I wanted to do. Finally she moved on to her events of the day.
"I actually saw Janna and her daughter fighting in front of the salon."
"Sherry?"
"Oh, you know her?"
"Yeah, we've met. Seems kinda of unlike them."
From the little I knew about Janna, I could tell appearances were everything, so a public brawl was not something I saw her doing.
"It's not, which is why is caught my eye. Janna's been wantin' Sherry to work at the salon for years, but Sherry's been wantin' to work at this place in Murfreesboro. And since you've met Janna, you know this whole town is her entire life, the idea of her daughter moving out is beyond her. Tommy, I've told you, no chewing your nails," Mary scolded her son who dropped his hands into his lap.
"But doesn't she have a son too?"
"Jeremy, yes. He's a nice boy, good catch too if you're lookin', Caroline. Has a nice job up in Cookeville at a manufacturing place."
"I'm actually okay," I spoke through my full mouth of potatoes. "But Janna says the same thing."
"Of course she does," Mary chuckled, picking up her glass. "She wants her boy to settle down proper with a woman. In his younger years, he did have a bit of reputation as a ladies man. He even dated Savannah before she and Kurtis got together."
"Oh, I didn't know that."
"Long time ago," Mary took another bite. "Not even worth mentioning, but speaking of the Maxwell's, how have they been holdin' up since Del's passin'."
"Oh," I almost choked on my chicken. "Good, I mean fine. I guess, they've been good. I... I don't see them much," I added before taking another large bite.
"Poor things, I know they miss their momma, both of them were a bit of momma's boys since their daddy ran away, the good for nothing. Aren't you good friends with Maxwells?," Mary asked.
I felt like here was sweat dripping off my face, my mouth was full of mush and I felt at a loss. Thomas must have seen my desperation and he rescued me by changing the topic.
"Mama, has Center Groove reached out for their book fair, yet?," he asked her curiously, stirring his fork into the potatoes.
"Not yet," Mary crossed her fingers. "But I'm hopin' they do soon."
I was extremely grateful for Thomas coming to my aide, the rest of the night went beautifully. The peach cobbler was to die for, Mary promised to give me her recipe so I could remake it. As I was walking to the door, my belly full and my body aching to fall asleep, Mary scurried off to pack m up some of the cobbler to take home.
"Thank you," I told Thomas quietly.
He gave me a small half-smile, hidden in the shadows of the dim lighting," Anytime."
I walked down the dirt road, away from Mary's house. I left later than I planned, partially because I had to insist that Thomas did not have to walk me home and hat I would be fine. Mary finally gave in, but was glad that I enjoyed the meal, she told me to come over again soon and next time I could help her cook. Learning to cook sounded fun, and if I could be half the chef she was, I was going to get fat. I carried the cobbler in my hands as I walked away from the falling sun, it was tucked behind the horizon, casting long dark shadows in front of me. I put the cobbler in my fridge. Even thought I was tired, I dig through one of my boxes of books until I found my own copy of 'Roots'. I sat in my bed with the lamp on re-reading the first 20 chapters before I fell asleep.
