The silence was deafening. She continued to meet his gaze, but only because she couldn't bring herself to look away. Part of her wanted to run for the exit so she would no longer feel his piercing stare, but she advised herself against doing that. There's no hiding from this, what had been said had been said. She couldn't shove it into a crevasse. All she could hope was for him to understand.
He was the first to soften his expression to her surprise. His mouth twitched almost indistinguishably and he cleared his throat. He'd just forgotten his keys, but he could nonetheless feel how crazy his heart's beating as he tried to take in exactly what he had heard. His eyes search hers as he tried to think of something to say, something to cut the silence. Though what words, he's unsure.
"I, uh, forgot my keys," he quietly muttered as he finally moved his legs.
"Tony." He turned to glance at his friend upon hearing him call his name.
Rhodey nodded his head to Pepper's direction, implying he should say something. Anything.
"Yeah, I know," Tony said before turning back to look at Pepper just to find she had already left. He let out a deep breath and ran after her. "Hey, Pep, wait!" He could see her hesitating to stop and turn around, but luckily Pepper did. "You're right," he stated. "I'm sorry. I was an ass. A big one. You didn't deserve it." He shrugged apologetically and pointed at his head. "It's just blank in here. I'm angry. I'm frustrated." I feel like it's my fault I can't remember and I feel guilty about putting you in this position. "I remember bits and pieces of us spending time together days before the surgery. Us kissing and talking about trying to start something up again after things settle down. You were never given the chance to fully tell me the truth and I know that. I guess as I remembered all that stuff, part of me felt like I couldn't trust you and I started having doubts. If you didn't tell me about this, what else didn't you tell me about, you know?" But there is something about her that draws him in and it is something he does not want to get rid of. He remembered the way she had smiled at him once she saw he had woken up and he wanted to see that smile on her face once again.
"My intentions were never to lie to you."
"What you did was deceitful," he stated.
"It might've been, but there's nothing we can do about it. Not anymore."
"I don't want to argue." He averted his gaze for a second to collect his thoughts. "I thought about what you said before you left. About 'me being better than this' and I am. If it's not too late, I wanna do this. I can't promise you I'll be good at it, but-"
"It's not about being good at it. It's about the effort that you put into it."
"And I can do that."
"This isn't some sort of game, is it? Because if it-"
"I swear it's not," he replied with the most serious expression he can give.
And from the look in his eyes, Pepper knew he was telling the truth, that he wanted this just as much as she did. She gave him a smile. "I'm going to have to ask you to tell me you were wrong again."
"Nope, once's already too much," Tony quipped. "I can't tarnish my cred."
She quirked a brow. "Your cred? Please delete that from your vocabulary."
"Don't be jealous that you can't pull off that word like I can." He watched as she rolled her eyes and something about that action seemed oddly familiar. "Do you always do that? Roll your eyes at me?"
"Depends," Pepper teased.
"I think I remember that."
She smiled. "And you'll remember a lot more in time. I'll help you fill in the gaps."
"Yeah? That'd be great," he contently said as he followed Pepper's lead and walked beside her on the sidewalk. "So the kiss we shared..."
"Was just that," she elaborated for him.
Tony frowned. He didn't like the answer.
Pepper chuckled at his response. "You're such a dork."
"I'm not a dork. I'm cute and adorable."
"And hard to maintain."
"That's rude. Why do you make me sound like a pet?"
"Cause in many ways you are one. Trust me on that."
"I can get used to this," he said with a smile as he pointed a finger back and forth between them. "So if you want to make out or..."
"Hold hands..."
"Are you serious? You make guys work for it, don't you? You're bad. I would bet money on it."
"I guess you'll just have to find out," Pepper taunted.
He squinted his eyes as he glanced at her. Alright. If she was up for games, he'd be the player. And the rule breaker. Cause let's face it, challenges are his thing.
"Not that it's important, but I thought you had gone back to school."
"I think I would be if I wasn't such a hassle during physical therapy."
She was not the least bit shocked.
"And mom stays the entire time."
"She does not," she said in shock.
"Yeah...I don't want to upset her."
"She's using it to her advantage."
"She shouldn't have to worry more than she has to. I should be a good kid for her. She deserves that after everything."
Pepper smiled. That was a nice gesture on his part. She always thought you could tell a lot about a guy by the way he treated his mother. It surprised her how close they were given the circumstances. He was alone for most of his childhood, but it didn't seem to affect their relationship at all. He never yelled or talked back. He treated her with the utmost kindness and he seemed to listen and do what he's told even if he doesn't agree with it because above all he wants her to be happy.
"Is this where you live?" He asked because they were approaching an apartment complex. "My car was parked right where we were standing two minutes ago."
"I know, but exercise is good for you."
"Not as a means of transport. Pep, I-"
"No, I don't need a car," Pepper interrupted, stopping him.
"Oh, I..." He was taken aback by her abruptness. How did she know?
"It's sweet that you would want to do that for me, but I don't need it. Really. Get that through your head. I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning and have some ridiculous car waiting for me once I come out of the apartment."
"Sure. Idea's in the trash then," he said.
"Thanks." At least this version of him was better at listening than the previous one.
"Course." He only wanted to help, but if she didn't need it, fine. He would not push.
"Is this what we're doing then?" She shot him a confused look. "Moving slow? Uh, if it can be like real slow, that'd be great. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we dated in high school so if we could just go like one step at a time kind of deal, I'd appreciate it. I want to remember who you are, I want to remember everything about us, but I can't be sure I'll ever remember and it sorta frustrates me because right now you're just this girl I'm into and we have all this history between us. And, speaking of being with you, I'm taking a gigantic risk with this. There is this TA/student thing that's frowned upon and I got this detailed lecture about it from the school dean. Should we be doing this?"
"Okay," Pepper responded with a laugh. "This is definitely new."
"What's new?" Now it was his turn to give her a confused look.
"That. You used to not care about stuff like breaking the rules."
"Well, I still don't. I just don't want you to get in trouble," Tony explained.
"I'll be fine," Pepper assured. It was sweet of him to think that.
"Alright," he smiled. "Is this the part where I go?" He asked because they had come to a stop in front of an apartment door and she was fishing for something in her purse.
"No, you can stay," she responded.
As soon as they walked in, someone spoke. "There you are! I was about to get worried."
"I ran into a problem."
"Hey!" He was beginning to notice the jabs were a constant occurrence. Not that he minded. He guessed this might be one part to their relationship that made them work. The banter. He really liked it.
"Relax, genius." Pepper's friend spoke. "She's joking."
Tony turned his head to the brunette and furrowed his brows. Who is this girl?
"Morgan," she told him. "It's Morgan. And I'd remember that too if I were you. Because if you ever decide to marry her, make cute babies with her, and all that, you're gonna need my seal of approval."
"Morgan!" Pepper exclaimed.
"What? It's the truth."
"Just pretend she doesn't exist. I do that constantly."
"Ooh," Morgan cooed interestedly as the two lovebirds head for Pepper's room.
The red head shook her head as Tony listened in bemusement as Morgan asked if they were about to make out or fool around. The two are polar opposites. Morgan had no filter. Pepper had nothing but filters. "You guys have a weird relationship," he said.
"That's my best friend for you. She's out there, but I love her. She's the best."
He smiled and took a look around to get a feel of what Pepper liked and her sense of style. There were a lot of magazines on her desk, so he knew she cared about fashion, glamour, all that sort of stuff. Her room was clean. There was nothing out of place.
"Nothing should seem familiar to you," she spoke as she watched him. "I left everything back in Malibu and brought new stuff once I moved in the apartment. Actually, wait. There's this." She headed over to her bed and pointed at the large elephant by the corner. "You won that for me on our first date. It's comfortable. I like having it here because it creates this spot that makes it a perfect place to snuggle into during the night."
"You always keep memorabilia of your exes around?"
She could tell by the tone of his voice that he completely ignored the point of her confession. Apparently an unbelievable look crossed her face because he noticed what she was non-verbally saying.
"What? I'm curious."
"Just how many guys do you think I've dated, Tony?"
"Um..." He fidgeted where he stood.
"And, no, I don't. It's just I really liked this elephant, the person who got it doesn't matter so much. That's how I feel about everything that's ever been given to me by a past boyfriend. It's the symbol that matters. Like a person who went to Disneyland for the first time. You get a hat or something and you keep it because you want to remember that day and the fun you had. Does that make sense to you? Or a person who gets divorced. Just because you decide to separate doesn't mean you have to burn the wedding dress or drive down to the ocean so you can toss your ring into the ocean."
He can see the point she's trying to make. "I didn't mean to make you upset."
"I'm not upset. It's just the way you said it. Like you were judging me based-"
"I'm not judging you. I shouldn't be judging anyone with my past," he replied.
And there was no reason for her to use his past against him. "Let's forget this ever happened."
He nodded. "So..." He walked over to her bed and glanced at the stuffed elephant. Pepper said he won that for her on their first date. "Was it a bad first date?" He couldn't see himself making it a great one, but he couldn't see himself making it a terrible one.
"Well, you did pick me up an hour late, but I still had a fun time. Though I was sad at the end because you had left me on the front porch with just a kiss on the cheek." That was the first time he was hearing this. Ever.
"What?" That can't be right. No way would he be such an idiot and not go for the lips.
"But that-" He was cut off by Morgan calling her name from outside. Sighing, he watched as Pepper walked past him and out the room.
"Help me carry this inside my room."
She groaned.
"Get over here." Once Pepper did, she whispered, "What happened? First you tell me you guys are over and now you're joined at the waist. What's going on?" They carry the basket of clean laundry to Morgan's room and dump it onto her bed.
"He's my physics TA."
"Shut up. Seriously?"
"I felt my heart drop. I tried to talk to him after class and he wouldn't let me so I realized it could be because he remembered something I hadn't been entirely honest about. I stopped at the diner, you know, to get my check and he was there with a friend. He left the second he saw me and that's when Rhodey mentioned him recalling us agreeing to try again. He's upset about me not telling him the status of our relationship, but that's not my fault. At the hospital, he told me to go before I could. He came back because he forgot his keys and he overheard the last part of our conversation. He must have realized I brought up a valid point. That I hadn't been given the chance to tell him. He apologized and said if it wasn't too late, he'd like to remember us, what we had together. I know how hard it is for him to admit he's wrong, so that's why I believed him. Because I want this to work as much as he does."
"I just don't want you to get hurt. He's got a habit of doing that to you," her best friend replied.
"I'll be fine. He's more cautious going into this than me. Cause like he said, I'm just a stranger."
"Yeah, and that's where the problem is. You guys could break up a month from now and it still wouldn't affect him as much as it will you, Pepper."
"I don't believe Tony's going to hurt me."
"Okay," Morgan responded with a soft smile. "But I'm just saying don't go into this with your eyes closed cause he is still Tony Stark: the playboy."
"I will. Can I go? Next time, if it's not serious, don't call me."
Morgan gave her a sarcastic 'haha' as she left to go back to her room.
When she got back to Tony, she found him in a situation she couldn't quite have guessed. Shaking her head, she asked herself 'what am I going to do with him?'
Super apologies for the late update. Sometimes life gets in the way! Hopefully this chapter made some of you happy. I'm not sure where this is going myself, but it'll be fun to find out! Love you! Next update will be quicker :)
