Author's Notes:
Hi everyone! Thank you all for understanding the lack of update last week. I had a wonderful time at my bachelorette and only died a little on the inside from overindulging. The decorations were AMAZING. My friends went all out on this and really made it special for me. Hell, my bridesmaid even put "Entrance to the Ministry of Magic" on the fucking toilet seat! It was just so magical. And we found out that we will 100% be able to go forward with the wedding in October! We have a back up space at our venue that will allow us to go forward so long as PA doesn't completely shut down again. I'm so relieved to know that we will definitely be having the wedding.
I want to forewarn you guys that the bar exam is coming up in 20ish days. I have no idea if my updates will be on time or happening at all as I get closer to that. I've been under so much stress with this exam—studying for four and a half months is just—I'm burnt out. I really am. I literally can't wait to read your reviews because I know they'll make me smile and laugh. It'll help. Thank you guys again for all of your understanding.
Beer of the week: This week's beer is a classic. Guinness! Who doesn't love a nice pint of Guinness stout? It's chocolaty and smooth and rich—really a world-class beverage.
Bankerrtx01: Thank you! I hope you enjoyed it! A world of contradictions: I'm so honored that you've decided to stick with my story! I completely understand what you mean about unfinished stories. It can be a huge risk when authors have, in the past, just stopped writing. I'm honored that you've decided my work is worth it! Smallwjl: I'll have to see if I can find that cider! I hope you like this chapter! Boothbonesrule: I've always held the belief that, in a different world, Draco would have been a really nice guy. I mean, I really think, even in canon, he was a good friend to Crabbe and Goyle, but that doesn't change the canon actions he took. I'm glad you're enjoying my take on his character! PunksterNL: I totally understand—Hinny will happy *eventually* (haven't decided when yet!). I honestly haven't decided how I'm approaching that yet, to be honest. I think I have an idea but I have to cultivate it for the next chapter. I definitely think it was the vibes! I'm back to 100% this week and feeling great!
Potter671: Thanks but I can't take credit for the quidditch—I took a lot of it from the book and added in what I think would have changed because of James and co. being present. Giving Ginny a mirror early is actually a really good idea. I'm going to seriously think about how I want to introduce her to one and when—thank you for the suggestion! ProfessorMarauder: You're totally fine! It's because I deleted the old chapter 41 and made a new one I think. I've always wondered that, too, and I really hope to start moving in that direction going forward. I have an idea on how to do it but I need to think it through some more. Midnitewanderer: I have plans for the Wizengamot but I haven't decided when I'm going to implement them yet. Soon? Maybe not? I don't know. to be honest, I'm scared for Quirrell. After this chapter? Damn, I don't want to be him. The Minnie idea is really good! I'll have to make note of that. Don't worry about Sirius, he'll get a break soon(ish), I promise. Don't worry about reviews being too long, I love them! Lupintae: I'm glad you love the story! I had a wonderful time, thank you!
Thank you everyone for your kind words over the last two weeks and thank you for reviewing! I'm back to 100% physically—mentally is meh. Can't wait for the next update!
Posting Schedule: Once a week.
Chapter Forty-Two: Confrontations
The large oak entrance doors to Hogwarts castle burst open as James Potter strode through them, his anger radiating around him as white-hot sparks of magic crackled around him. Behind him, Sirius was sprinting along, his cloak billowing as he tried to catch up with James, a look of concern and slight fear on his face.
"Jamie—" James turned and looked at Sirius with so much fury that Sirius actually took a hesitating step away from James, his hand part way to his wand concealed in its holster. He took a deep breath, "Jamie—James, I think you need to calm down. I'm fucking pissed too; I want to kill Snivellus, but you're—hell, sparks are flying!"
"I knew he wouldn't be able to handle having Harry as a student. I let it slide when Harry told me about their issues from his first class—especially when no more issues popped up. But this? Trying to kill my son? He's gone too far!"
Sirius looked as if he wanted to say something as his mouth opened slightly before he closed it, fisted his hand, and nodded solemnly.
With fires in their eyes, James and Sirius made their way toward the door that leads to the dungeon, their vision red as they walked. But they didn't make it more than a few feet before they both felt a strong hand pulling on their robes, dragging them away from the dungeon and up the castle staircase.
"What the fuck!" James shouted in protest as he twisted around to see who was dragging them, "Moony, let us go! Snivellus has this coming."
Remus simply shook his head and continued on, pulling his friends behind him. At one point he felt his grip slipping on their robes as they twisted and pulled, sometimes pointing their wands at him and firing sparks, but he simply tightened his grip and utilized a sticking charm to keep his hands cemented to their robes.
As Remus made his way up the corridor a snide voice stopped him, causing him to groan inwardly.
"What, exactly, is the meaning of this?" Snape said cooly as his black eyes took in the childish scene before him, "You three are making more of a ruckus in this castle now that you're adults than you ever made while you were students. And that," he added cooly, "is a high bar to achieve indeed."
"Snivellus!" James snarled as he caught sight of Snape towering over his hunched body, "I know what you did to Harry! I know you and I were never on the best terms but trying to knock my kid off his broom from two hundred feet in the air? You're insane and I'll have you sacked!"
Snape sneered, "I assure you that I have no idea what you're talking about. What happened today to Mr. Potter's broom is beyond my knowledge. I simply performed the counter-curse that allowed him to barely stay on his broom. Though, if he were a better quidditch player he wouldn't have almost fallen off to begin with. I've been questioning how he managed to make it onto the team. But—I'm sure having a famous quidditch player for a father helped."
"You greasy haired git!" Sirius yelled as he unsuccessfully tried to pull away from Remus. Remus was inwardly grateful that he had had the forethought to utilize a sticking charm to keep his grip on Sirius and James' robes.
"Harry earned his way onto the team and you know it. Why don't you man up and tell me why you treat my kid like shit, Severus!"
"I treat Mr. Potter exactly how he deserves to be treated. He's impudent and arrogant, just like you always were when you were a student. He has no respect for authority and flaunts his fame to achieve anything and everything he wants. I merely—"
"You merely bully a child because you can't let go of the past!" Sirius shouted.
"Severus, is this true? You treat Harry poorly in class?" Remus asked, his grip slackening.
"I don't tolerate arrogance in my classroom, Professor Lupin."
In his shock, Remus dropped his hands to his side, letting James and Sirius free from his grasp. James, realizing that he was now free, ran at Snape and grabbed him by the front of his robes, fisting his hands in the fabric. He lifted Snape up off the floor so that they were eyelevel now, his hazel eyes boring into the black.
"You tried to knock Harry off his broom because you're still bitter about our time here at school? How much more childish can you get? You were a git back then, to us, to Lily, and we got even. But we were kids. Kids Severus. We're adults now! Taking out your childhood angers on an innocent kid is unacceptable!"
"What is going on here?" a calm voice asked from the other end of the corridor. The sound made everyone in the group jump and James' face pale.
"Mr. Potter and his gang attacked me, Sir," Snape sneered, "They seem to be under the misguided impression that I was the one who cursed Mr. Potter's broomstick during the quidditch match. Perhaps in some attempt to take him out so my own house could take the win."
"We saw you, Snivellus! You didn't take your eyes off Harry while he was being bucked off. It wasn't until you looked away that he was able to get back on his broom!" Sirius accused, "And we all know that it would take a powerful curse to make a Nimbus 2000 act that way."
Dumbledore walked down the corridor towards the group, a quiet and knowing smile on his face as he moved, "James, Sirius, Remus, you can let Professor Snape go, now. I have already investigated him and determined that he was not responsible for the attack on Harry. Though I do appreciate your enthusiasm, it is unnecessary."
James looked at Snape and sneered at him before throwing him back onto his feet. Snape stumbled slightly as his feet hit the ground but he was able to right himself quickly and then brushed the sleeves of his robes off.
"Now, if you three would please come with me, we can discuss the events of today."
"Sir," Remus said politely, "Sir, please. I just—I knew Severus wasn't responsible for this from the beginning but—how do you know? The evidence is overwhelming."
"I trust Severus, Remus. I know that he did not do this. Please, if you'll follow me to my office, I would like to discuss this in more detail with you."
James looked back over at Snape who had a snide grin on his face as he watched the scene unfold before him. James simply glared at him, unsure of how this was going to play out.
"I want to get to the bottom of this, Professor. Please, lead the way," James said through his clenched teeth, "But please know that whoever did this to my son will be getting exactly what they asked for when they attacked my son."
"I understand, James. Please, if you'd come with me, we can try to sort this out."
James, Remus, and Sirius all exchanged questioning glances before walking off with Dumbledore, leaving Snape by himself in the corridor.
Once they reached the safety and solitude of Dumbledore's office James rounded on the old headmaster.
"What happened? Hogwarts is supposed to be safe but here Harry is, barely two months here at school and a troll has gotten into the castle and nearly killed him and he was almost cursed off his broom during a quidditch match! How on earth has any of that been safe?"
Dumbledore sat quietly as he listened to James shout at him. Once he was sure James was done, he began, "James, we do our best here at Hogwarts to keep the castle safe. We have been investigating the troll and how it made its way into the castle on Halloween. So far we suspect that it managed to make its way in through the entrance the first years use to come to the castle on September 1st. as for the events of today, I have already ruled out Severus as well as most of the staff. I'm beginning to suspect that the curse was somehow placed on the broom prior to today's game but we may never be certain."
"That's a bullshit answer and you know it!" James shouted at Dumbledore, "There's something going on in this castle and you need to get to the bottom of it!"
"I assure you, James, that there is nothing going on in this castle that I am not aware of."
"How do you know it wasn't Snape? What proof do you have outside of your trust for him?"
"Believe me, James, Severus would never betray me or Hogwarts. I trust him with my life. Outside of that, I checked his wand. The only spell he performed was a counter-curse."
James felt himself deflate a little. If the only spell his wand showed he performed was the counter-curse, then Snape couldn't have been the one who cursed Harry's broom. Then the fear gripped him again as he thought: Who did?
~ID~
Remus found himself working in his office late again this evening. The full moon was tomorrow and he was trying to prepare lessons for Professor Vector who had kindly agreed to substitute his classes for him while he was preoccupied preparing for that evening. It was nearly eleven at night before Remus realized that he should consider packing his things up and head to bed—but he only needed to finish a few more things, he could probably finish within the hour. Yawning, he decided to finish things up so he didn't have to worry about it in the morning.
As he sipped his tea he continued writing out information for Professor Vector, his quill scratching the parchment as he worked. His office was quiet and still; the only sounds he could hear this late in the evening was the crackling of the fire he had lit to keep warm. He took a moment to look into the orange flames and watch their heated dance.
Remus had always been fascinated by fire. Not in the sense that fire could destroy things or burn objects and buildings but, rather, the heat and beauty of it. it was bright and warm and shone while it danced. He could watch the flames of a fire for hours while thinking about everything in life. As he watched the flames, his hand accidentally brushed against the letter he had sat on his desk.
Nymphadora had been writing to him again, trying to talk to him about what had happened the other week. Remus had yet to respond to her. How do you tell the woman that you slept with that it was a mistake and that a relationship wasn't in the cards for them? He sighed as he caught sight of her spiky handwriting. He noticed, curiously, that the ink wasn't the same color as the last time he saw it. he smiled as he realized that she uses color-change ink. He remembered that she had used it all throughout her time at Hogwarts but he didn't think she had continued that tradition after graduation. He carefully reached out a finger and traced the words she wrote. "All my love, Dora".
He sighed. She's too young. She's too—everything. How can he possibly think of subjecting someone as perfect as her to someone as disgusting as himself? She deserved more—deserved someone whole and human. Someone who can give her everything she wants in life. The wolf in him growled in opposition—why couldn't he be enough? He gritted his teeth and shook his head, pushing the wolf back inside, refusing to listen to it.
He shook his head and growled as he pushed himself away from the desk and stood up. He'd clearly been awake for too long if he was thinking about all of this again. He quickly stacked his parchment up and put his quills away, straightening his desk before leaving his office for the evening. He quietly locked his office door and headed down the corridor to his rooms.
Remus stepped inside of his rooms at Hogwarts and glanced around. The castle was built to accommodate the professors of Hogwarts and they were given, what felt to Remus, lavish bedchambers. His rooms at Hogwarts included a spacious, furnished living room with a fireplace and an updated kitchen in case he ever decided he wanted to cook his own meals instead of eating at the head table. He enjoyed having a stove so that he could make himself tea or cocoa late at night without bothering the house elves. Even though he knew that's what they were there for he always felt bad for bothering them so late in the evening.
Off of his living room Remus had a spacious, private office in case he ever needed to do work where he wouldn't be bothered by the students. Remus rarely used that office, he preferred to keep himself available to the students, but he did keep his more intimate research on horcruxes in that office. He didn't want to risk students stumbling on his research and trying to make one of the wretched things themselves.
In his bedroom adjoining the living room Remus had a large, soft bed, and dressers and a walk in closet. Attached to his room was a large, full bathroom with a deep soaking tub and shower. Dumbledore had told him that he had chosen this room for Remus specifically for the tub. He had hoped that it would help Remus' recovery after his transformations. He was, of course, correct; taking hot baths after the full moon always helped his aching muscles—he had been extremely pleased to find the tub when he moved into the castle.
Remus kicked his shoes off and closed the door to his rooms. The castle magically locked the door to anyone except for himself, Harry, James, and Sirius. This was one of the few places that he felt like he could be completely himself within the castle. He loved teaching, but it always felt like he was putting on a show for the students and the one place he could be himself and alone was his rooms.
He quickly put his slippers on and padded over to the stove, starting a cup of cocoa for himself. He wasn't sure how long it would take him to relax enough to fall asleep tonight. He always seemed to have excess energy in the nights before the full moon but he had never quite figured out how to burn through it.
He smiled as he poured the cocoa into a mug and took a cautious sip. It scalded his mouth.
"Oh! Ouch, ouch. Hot!" Remus murmured as he blew on the cocoa.
Remus continued to blow on the cocoa as he made his way to the couch and sat down, crossing his legs and picking up the novel he had been reading lately. He got comfortable and had only read through a few pages before he was interrupted by a bright, white light.
Surprise overtook him as he looked at the patronus sitting in front of him. It looked like rabbit with long floppy ears. He frowned and turned his head slightly, confusion overtaking him as it opened its mouth and a familiar voice spoke.
"You up?" Tonks' voice came from the patronus.
"Are—are you trying to come over or something?" Remus asked himself as he stared at the patronus.
"Basically, yeah," Tonks' voice replied.
Remus jumped, spilling cocoa on jacket, "Did you just hear me and reply back?"
"Yup! Cool spell, huh? So I'm assuming you're up since you're talking to me. Where are you?"
"How on earth are you able to respond to me with the same patronus? We should need to send them back and forth in order to communicate."
"It's a nifty spell the ministry has been working on. They haven't released it to the public yet because it will come in handy for the aurors when we're out on assignments. Pretty bad ass isn't it?"
"It's fascinating," Remus replied as he looked at the patronus more closely, "Absolutely fascinating. How did you do it?"
"Nuh, uh. I'm not telling you until you tell me where you are."
"What? Uh, I'm in my rooms at Hogwarts. Is it a variant of the patronus charm?"
Remus heard Tonks' laugh before the patronus vanished into smoke before his eyes. Several seconds later he heard his fireplace roar to life—he sat up stock straight, realization hitting him.
Tonks stepped out into Remus' living room, looking around at the decorations and furniture before stepping into the living room and smiling, "You know, I had imagined what your room looked like for years. For some reason I imagined them a bit more—I don't know, more educatedly decorated? Maybe some muggle stuff and secrecy sensors and stuff? A foe glass or the like? But this—this is nice. It's quiet and cozy and warm. It's very you."
"I—Dora! You can't just show up in my room! It's—it's unseemly! Not to mention very forward considering I didn't invite you here."
"Oh pish. If you didn't want me here you would have banned me from your floo access. Why haven't you answered my letters, Remus?"
Remus frowned and looked away, "Dora I—we talked about this. This, us, it's not going to work and you know it. I'm not right for you."
"Oh come off it, Remus. You keep going on about how you aren't good for anyone. What's that supposed to mean, anyway? You're an amazing and kind person. You helped James raise Harry and you're a fantastic teacher. I've never seen you be anything but kind to anyone," Tonks sat down next to Remus and took his hand, "You do everything for your students and Harry—you're an amazing man."
Remus pulled his hand away from Tonks and turned away from her, "Dora, you don't understand. Here in this castle—you've only seen me when I've been under Dumbledore's protection. Out there—I'm not the same person. If it weren't for Dumbledore, I wouldn't even have a job. I'm—you wouldn't understand."
"What wouldn't I understand? What aren't you telling me?"
"I can't, Dora. You would hate yourself. I can't stay up too late, I have work in the morning," Remus stood up as if he was going to see Tonks to the fireplace when he realized she was staring at him with that intense, burning look she gave him the last time they were together. He swallowed hard as he looked into her grey eyes; her eyes were grey today, he thought. How beautiful and unique.
"We both know you aren't working tomorrow, Remus."
The color drained from Remus' face as he looked at Tonks, "What are you going on about? Tomorrow's Friday—of course I have lessons tomorrow. I can't just take off."
"You don't have classes tomorrow, Remus."
"I—"
"Tomorrow's the full moon."
Fear filled him, consuming him, as he realized the full weight of what Tonks said to him. "Tomorrow's the full moon." How would she know the significance of that bit of information? Remus could feel the beads of sweat forming at the back of his neck as he looked at Tonks, her eyes serious and full of knowledge and anger.
"When did you—when did you figure it out?"
Tonks frowned, "What? Like it's hard? I was your student for four years. You were always gone during the day of and the day after the full moon and when you did come back you were always exhausted and a little ill. It's not like it was a big secret, Remus. The smarter students had it worked out while I was here. We never told anyone who didn't work it out for themselves, of course, but you never really hid it well. With the moon tomorrow I figured you were feeling pretty energetic and I'm running on night shift time right now because I'm getting the shit shifts as the newest hire. I thought I'd come keep you company since you're going to be up for most of the night anyway."
"I—how did you—what—" Remus stuttered. He was completely thrown off—how did so many people figure his secret out? And, more importantly, why didn't they tell anyone or petition for his removal from the school?
Tonks frowned, "Are you trying to figure out why none of us ever reported you?"
"I—yeah."
Tonks shrugged, "You're a good professor and you've never hurt anyone. We all know that you wouldn't kill a bug let alone hurt one of your students so what would be the point in reporting you? You're a much-loved professor, Professor."
"And you knew? You knew when we—when I—"
Tonks smiled slightly and nodded, "Of course I did. I just don't understand why you think you're not good enough to be with someone."
"I—Dora. I'm a social pariah. Anyone I'm with—outwardly and openly with won't just have to deal with the personal and immediate effects of being with a werewolf. They'd eventually have to deal with the social implications of it. As you can imagine, not everyone is a kind as it seems many of my students have been over the years. Anyone who's openly with me faces the out lash of most of the wizarding community and could become a target for their aggression. I could never—would never put anyone through that."
"So then don't be 'outwardly' with anyone," Tonks said, quoting Remus' language, "Be privately with someone. Why does the general public need to know who you're sleeping with, anyway?"
"I don't think you understand, Dora. Whoever's with me—we'd never have a normal relationship. I couldn't—I couldn't take them out on dates in the wizarding world. I don't even know if I'd be able to get married for fear of what others would do when they found out."
"Ok, so our dates will be strictly in the muggle world. I've always wanted to go see a movie. Imagine! Muggles make these moving pictures with sound that tell stories! How fascinating."
Remus' mouth gaped open as he listened to Tonks speak. She had no idea what she was talking about. She's too young to understand, to believe a relationship with him would lead to anything but happiness. Her—she was worth more than what he could give her.
"Stop," Tonks said forcefully, "Stop trying to talk yourself out of anything. Why can't you just—be? You're trying so hard to keep everyone around you safe, to do what you think you need to do to accomplish that, that you're forfeiting your own happiness."
"Dora, I don't deserve—"
"Yes, you do!" Tonks shouted as she looked at him, her eyes pleading, "Everyone does. Especially someone as kind and wonderful as you."
"Dora—"
"Oh just shut up," Tonks said as she grabbed onto the collar of his jacket and yanked him toward her, crushing her lips to his and then pulling back, "Shut up, Professor."
Tonks crushed her lips to his again and moaned as she pushed herself closer to Remus.
Remus gripped Tonks' shoulders, losing himself in her touch for just a moment. Savoring the feel of her soft lips pressed against his before pushing her away, moving his lips just a breath away, "Dora, are you sure you understand what you're doing? What this means?"
"Get over yourself," she whispered harshly, "Sometimes it's not all about you, Remus."
Remus gripped her so tightly she cried out in shock—he simply silenced her with his mouth, allowing himself to taste the sweetness on her lips. He marveled at her taste, the honey flavor that lingered on his tongue after he ran it over her bottom lip.
Tearing his lips away from hers, Remus trailed his down her jaw line and neck, running his tongue along her sweet skin as he went. He could feel the wolf from somewhere deep inside of him rumbling in pleasure and acceptance.
As his lips reached her collar bone, Remus decided that she had entirely too many clothes on for his liking. Pulling his hand away from her, he moved his fingers through the air as he took a moment to think.
Tonks gasped in surprise at the sudden feeling of warm skin against her flesh as she realized she was now sitting in her underwear. She wondered for a moment where her clothes went but was quickly distracted by Remus' roaming lips on her exposed breasts. Her head rolled back in pleasure as Remus pushed her down on the couch and crawled on top of her. He grabbed her wrists and held them up above her head as he feasted on her neck.
Remus kissed his way up to Tonks' ear and nipped at her lobe before whispering, "Are you sure this is what you want? The first time we could forget. But the second?"
Tonks gasped at the feel of Remus' teeth and lips against her ear, his warm breath against her skin. She arched her back, pressing herself against his hips and gasped, "Yes."
Remus kissed her lips as he pressed his hips against her, savoring the warmth he could feel between her legs.
"Hot already?" Remus breathed as he pressed against her harder, vanishing his shirt and trousers.
Tonks cried out as she suddenly felt Remus pressing against her in his entirety. She tried to pull her hands away from Remus' grip to touch him, hold him, drag her fingers down his back, but she was met with unyielding resistance.
"Oh no, that's not how this works, Nymphadora."
Remus dragged his hand down Tonks' body, running his fingers along her stomach, making her quiver under his touch. As she opened her eyes to look at him, her need evident. He smiled and carefully unclasped her bra, letting her breasts spill into his hand. He quickly bent his head down and took one into his mouth and grazed his teeth along her nipple, feeling it harden against his tongue. He marveled at the stiff peak it turned into.
He could feel Tonks trying to tug her hands out of his grip and smiled, not tonight. She needs to understand what she's getting into here. He carefully tightened his grip on her wrists and moved his other hand down to her panties and ran his fingers along the top of them, hardening as he heard her gasping beneath him. He ran his hand down to her thigh and to her over her lacy knickers. She was so wet.
Remus smiled to himself and pushed her knickers to the side and carefully explored Tonks, feeling the warmth of her folds and skin. As she moaned, he ran his thumb over her clit, groaning as she cried out to him. Remus carefully slipped a finger into her, keeping his thumb against her as he did, rubbing it slowly as he moved his wrist slowly, drawing out her pleasure.
Tonks cried out as Remus' hand moved faster. She could feel the heat building inside of her as he added a second finger, filling her. He moved his hand quicker, rubbing his thumb against her as he moved. He smiled as he felt her tighten against him and moan loudly. He moved his fingers as fast as he could, throbbing with need as he felt her tighten and release, crying out as she went over the edge.
Tonks arched her back as she came, crying out to Remus for more, "Fuck me, Remus! I need you. Now!"
Remus crushed his mouth to Tonks' as he ripped her knickers off and plunged into her, her warmth enveloping him. He moaned as he pushed into her faster, harder, as he gripped her hips and buried himself in her. Remus moved faster—feeling her tighten against him made it almost impossible to control himself as he fucked her. After she cried out in pleasure one final time he groaned as the orgasm overcame him.
At some point they had made their way to Remus' bedroom. They managed to find the energy to pleasure each other two more times throughout the night. Once Tonks had managed to fall asleep Remus found himself looking at her, taking her in as he thought. This was going to be more complicated than he had thought it would be.
End Notes:
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