INT. UTILITY TUNNEL - MOMENTS LATER
The five are in a narrow, sparsely lit utility tunnel.
They trudge forward, then come to a stop.
STAN: You got to be fucking kidding me.
A set of steel stairs rise before them, ending in a large door with an American flag Q stenciled on it.
They look at each other, not sure how to proceed.
JIMMY: Should we have brought g-g-guns?
Eric pushes through the other four and heads up the steps to the door.
ERIC: Whatever we brought, they'll have more.
KYLE: Shit.
LEO: Should we really go in -
But he's too late, Eric has the door open.
The other four trudge up after him.
INT. Q HQ
It's a large room made of shiny surfaces, with screens mounted everywhere and various personnel sitting at workstations throughout, oblivious to the five as they enter.
Across from where the five entered is a large, raised metal platform which looks to be a command center of sorts.
In the center of that command center is a large metal tube, about seven feet tall, angled back.
The screens around the room show various memes being generated and analyzed with overlays and charts flashing over and alongside them.
JIM WATKINS: You're too late - or just in time, for some of you.
JIM WATKINS (the Driver who killed Kenny - Mike Meyers reprising his Fat Bastard look from *Austin Powers 2*) steps from behind the large metal tube.
His son - the Passenger to Jim's Driver - RON WATKINS comes from the other side.
Eric's eyes narrow.
ERIC: Jim Watkins.
STAN: The pig farmer?
JIM WATKINS (angry): No!
PAUL FURBER: Stolen valor!
The five turn back toward the doorway, where Paul Furber stands.
KYLE: You followed us!?
PAUL FURBER: This man is not Q!
JIM WATKINS: Oh, God. Not this again. Q is not one man! Q is all of us!
A hissing sound emits from the metal tube to his side.
Jim Watkins smiles as white smoke starts to spew from the tube.
JIM WATKINS: It is time! Come on, get it ready!
Ron Watkins moves behind the tube and pushes it fully upright as the various personnel get up from their workstations and turn to watch.
Ron starts unlocking clasps along one side of it, this frees the front, which slowly opens, letting even more of the white smoke to belch out.
LEO: What - what is that?
JIM WATKINS: It is he who will rise!
Eric looks at Kyle.
ERIC: Oh shit dude, you're in trouble!
KYLE: It's not Jesus... is it?
The silhouette of a figure is visible through the smoke, resting in the tube.
It takes a step forward. Then another.
STAN: Holy shit!
JIMMY: J-j-j-
Kyle looks visibly relieved.
KYLE: JFK!
JIMMY: -junior.
It is indeed JFK JR (played by Armie Hammer).
Not dead from a plane crash, but quite the opposite, cutting a striking figure from his family's famous profile, the white polo and khakis, to his dapper boat shoes.
JIM WATKINS: He is the chosen one! He will protect America and once and for all make it great ag-
PAUL FURBER (rushing to interrupt): And then, he will unite the holy, God-fearing trinity - America, North Korea and Russia into one!
JIM WATKINS: What? Stop making shit up Paul!
JFK JR: Where - where am I? Where's Carolyn?
Kyle lets out a yelp and starts pawing at his pants.
ERIC: Oh shit dude! Heidi gave you crabs!
STAN: What the fuck?
ERIC: Come on, we all know Teddy - what the...?
Kyle pulls out the map - the folded document is flaming, catching everyone's attention.
He drops it as the flames cause it to unfold.
But the fire isn't burning it - it's revealing text.
Kyle gingerly picks it up.
LEO: What is it?
Kyle looks it over.
KYLE: It's a script. (reading from it) Episode 201.
Stan is next to Kyle, looking over his shoulder.
STAN: It's from that shitty show they set in South Park!
RON WATKINS: It's not shitty - it foretold the truth and exposed the lies!
KYLE (reading from the script page): It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.
RUPERT: That's quite enough, Mr. Broflovski.
Everyone turns toward the large door where Rupert Murdoch stands.
RON WATKINS: Rupert Murdoch?
LEO: Oh, hello sir!
Rupert steps forward to Eric.
RUPERT: You've done well, my boy. There's someone I'd like you to meet.
A bespectacled, bald man - JEFF ZUCKER (played by Vin Diesel) steps through the doorway.
JIM WATKINS (hisses): Jeffrey Zucker.
ERIC: The president of CNN?
Jeff steps up to Eric, shaking a surprised Eric's hand.
JEFF: Let's just say we all have a vested interest in South Park.
Rupert claps twice.
ARMED SECURITY PERSONNEL wearing tactical gear and AR-15s storm through the doorway.
JIM WATKINS (smiles and nods approvingly): You've finally come to join.
RUPERT: I think you've done quite enough. Light 'em up.
The Security Personnel open fire - taking down the Watkins, Paul Furber, the personnel, and JFK Jr.
Then, the firing stops, silence rushing in as the smoke wafts through the air.
KYLE: Holy shit, dude!
STAN: What the fuck?!
Kyle looks at the bodies, at his friends, then at Rupert and Jeff.
KYLE: That - that's why you wanted this hidden.
He holds up the script sheet.
RUPERT: Hand it over, son. It's over.
KYLE: You weren't afraid of terrorists - of other groups -
ERIC: Kyle...
KYLE: - using terror for their means.
ERIC: Kyle...
KYLE: You were afraid we'd figure it out.
JIMMY: Figure w-w-what out?
ERIC: Kyle!
Kyle looks at Eric, Rupert and then Jeff.
KYLE: That keeping people in a state of terror -
Eric grabs a gun from one of the personnel nearby and aims it at Kyle.
ERIC: That's enough Kyle.
But it's as if Kyle doesn't hear him.
KYLE: Keeping them constantly afraid of their neighbors, of themselves, makes them...
STAN: Stupid.
KYLE (shrugs at this): Easy to manipulate.
RUPERT: Shoot him, Eric!
Eric raises the gun.
KYLE: It makes them into a herd. A hateful herd, begging for a shepherd to guide their anger.
LEO: But why kill JFK Jr? He seemed like an okay guy.
KYLE: He would have shown them that maybe there was some (looks at Eric) hope.
JIMMY: But that's s-s-stupid.
KYLE: Exactly.
JEFF: Enough!
He grabs a gun from another one of the personnel and moves between Eric and Kyle.
JEFF: If your man can't handle it Rupert, I will.
He racks it, and levels it point blank on Kyle, finger squeezing the trigger.
Then - movement behind him - something rustling in the mass of bodies.
Jeff slowly turns around.
A man-sized, spider-like leg emerges from the body pile, finding purchase on the floor as another leg comes out from the mass, and digs into the ground.
The forelegs brace, as if pulling something large from under the pile of the dead.
JEFF: The fu-
A wet, tentacle like thing lashes out from within the pile of bodies - its end spear-like - and impales itself through Jeff's body!
A SHRIEK as the monster - Q-BEAST - reveals itself!
The body of a spider - the head of Jim Watkins, yet even more distorted and grotesque!
Its mouth is open wide - its tongue the weapon that impaled Jeff.
It retracts its tongue, slowly, making a sucking, gushy sound as Jeff's body slides off it.
LEO: Oh geez.
STAN: Holy shit!
KYLE: Q.
Then the armed personnel start firing at it.
The bullets plunk harmlessly into it, the beast absorbing them as it shrieks and begins impaling the men with its tongue and legs.
Eric, Leo, Kyle, Stan, Jimmy and Rupert start rushing toward the doorway, followed by the surviving armed personnel.
Q-Beast jumps from the raised platform and lands, impaling the remaining armed personnel with its legs, and whipping its tongue toward the fleeing six.
